'No, no, no, no this can't be real. I must be dreaming. This is the second month in a row. Fuck! I can't be. No, I can't be pregnant. I'm just irregular, I guess. I mean it's normal to miss two periods in a row, right? I have to go talk to Pema; she's been pregnant four times, she should know the signs.' Korra thought as she was crunched over the toilet because of her early morning sickness. She actually was feeling sick like this a lot recently. Korra was worried. Two months since her night with Mako and not only did she not talk to him since but now she was paying the ultimate price for such pleasures. She found Pema taking care of her four children. Jinora and Ikki were setting the table up for lunch.
"Oh Korra, there you are, we were looking for you. Come help set the table." Pema called.
"Actually Pema, can I talk to you, in private."
"Yeah sure, sweetie." Pema and Korra walked into the next room. "Oh before I forget to tell you, I'm pregnant again." At that moment Korra figured out how to get the information she needed from Pema without actually telling her.
"Oh, congratulations, this is great! So, you seem really happy to be pregnant. Do you like it?"
"Eh, pregnancy has its ups and down. In the beginning I'm always sick; I think I threw up almost every morning when I was pregnant with Ikki." 'Fuck.' Korra thought. "And it's a pain, literally, in the end when you have a huge bump in your stomach. And giving birth, don't even get me started on that, it hurts, but in the end when it's all over, that is the best feeling in the world. Holding you new born baby, knowing that you just brought life into this world, thinking that you will never let this child go because you love them so much, is the greatest part of pregnancy. I love my children so much that even if pregnancy was ten times harder I would still do it."
"Oh, wow, that's amazing. But how did you know you were pregnant in the beginning?"
"Well I guess I just knew, especially after having four kids and another on the way, but during my first pregnancy I didn't know the signs. I was sick a lot and I was missing my periods. My mother-in-law, Katara, told me that I was probably pregnant, and nine months later we got Jinora."
"But how many periods did you miss before you knew you were pregnant."
"Um, about two or three, I don't really remember. Why do you ask? Oh, and Korra didn't you say you had to talk to me about something, I'm sorry, what was it?"
"Oh I was just wondering, for when I'm older, married and ready for a child of my own and the other thing, it wasn't important. I got to go, bye. Thanks." Korra said as she quickly left the room.
She ran down the hall back to her room. Jinora and Ikki called out to her but she ignored them. She closed the door and just stopped. It was dark. She was still, standing there in the middle of the room, not moving at all. Her legs buckled and she fell on the floor. She moved into the fetal position. Her eyes watered and she started to cry. She laid there on the floor crying her eyes out. She screamed out in-between her gasps for air. 'Fuck!' She was in such emotional distress, after everything with Mako and now this, she hit her breaking point. Suddenly for a moment a blue light gleamed through the room.
"Korra, Korra, what is wrong?" a familiar voice said. She stopped crying, still laying down, she sniffled and tried to pull herself up.
"Aang?" She asked. She turned around to look at the previous avatar's spirit. She had met and spoke with him a few times before, always fun loving but also wise. He always knew the right words to say to her when she needed it. This time, her predecessor looked concerned, wanting to help the girl in any way he could.
"Yes Korra, why are you crying, why are you so depressed?"
"Oh Aang, I just don't know how to do this anymore. Everything in my world is crumbling down all at once, and at the same time my job is to keep everyone else's world together. As the avatar I have too many responsibilities to the world that I need to fulfill and now on top of all of that I have to take care of a child all by myself. How I am going to take care of this child when I don't even know how to take care of myself? I'm scared, Aang. I'm scared I won't be a good mother. How am I going to support this child when I have other duties to support the world? I'm not ready for a child, not now, not any time soon. I haven't even become a fully realized avatar yet, I need to focus on that not a child. I need help, what do I do?" She started to cry again.
"Korra, don't worry everything is going to be fine." He put his hand on her shoulder. "You are and will be a great avatar. You defeated Amon and put a rest to the revolution. You're going to do many more great things in this life and you can still do it with a child. Hey, I had three children and I still managed to keep the world at peace." He pulled her into a hug.
"But Aang, you had Master Katara to help you raise your children. I have no one."
"Yes, I did have Katara but, as their father I still had a duty to be there for them and love them unconditionally. Korra, you are not alone, you know. What about the father, Mako, maybe he can help you."
"That's just the problem. He's engaged to Asami, the love of his life. After our night together he wouldn't even acknowledge me, let alone talk to me. He doesn't like me and he sure as hell doesn't want anything to do with me, even if it was half his fault. I have a feeling that he would hide this from Asami, denying any involvement, just like he did with our secret night."
"Talk to him, maybe you will be surprised. But even if this Mako guy does still reject you, you're the avatar, it is you destiny to find your own path. It is everyone's destiny to find their own path, sometimes it might get distorted along the way, but eventually we find our own path; I learned this from an old friend. Your destiny, Korra, is written only by you, not by me, not by Mako, not by anyone else, it is determined by you. You don't need a man to follow your own path in life, especially not one who is hurting you. I know you love this boy but sometimes we need to let go of our worldly possessions. You will be a great mother; I know it, even if you have to do it alone. Your child will love you and you will love them. And if you are still worried about balancing avatar duties and being a mother, remember, Avatar Kyoshi was a mother too." She stopped crying. Aang let go of his hug and pervaded his spirit into the girl; as he did he told Korra one last ting. "Everything is going to work out fine, trust me."
She sat there in her dark room thinking of what she should do. 'Aang said follow my destiny, but what is that? I don't know what to do. Well I guess that's what Aang meant; I have to figure that out.' She put her hand over her stomach and looked down. 'Whatever my destiny is, I know one thing for sure. You, my little one, are definitely involved with it.' Her fears of motherhood slowly faded. She consoled herself with the fact that Aang believed she could be both a great mother and Avatar. If Aang believed it, she believed it. She stood up still holding her stomach. She thought she probably should tell Mako, he is the father. He has a right to know that there will be a child out there that is half his, even if he doesn't want the responsibilities of raising the child. "Ready to go meet your daddy, hopefully he will like you." She said trying to reassure herself and fighting her worries. She walked down to the docks of Air Temple Island. The air was cold, the clouds were grey, and snow was afoot. With her hands in her parka pockets, she walked on to the ferry leading to the city. On the ferry, she looked down at the water as it passed and bent little spirals in it. Without her notice she was already at the city. She got off the ferry and to her left was the stadium, Mako.
"You know bro, if you keep treating Korra like this she is eventually going to give up and walk out of both of our lives. You got to stop, she has feelings to." Bolin said to his obstinate brother.
"You don't think I know that? I know she has feelings, but I also know that she probably feels as ashamed of that night as I do. If she wanted to talk about it she would have already. It's been two months."
"She hasn't confronted you about that night because she told me that the day after you basically gave her a look that meant you wanted nothing to do with her!"
"No I didn't. I gave her a look yeah, but that meant that I didn't want to talk there. Not in front of Asami. I needed to get my priorities straight before I told Asami. And what do you mean that she feels like I want nothing to do with her? I want the exact opposite as that. I want everything to do with her."
"Then why don't you tell her? She has also been waiting for two months, and she doesn't have a backup girl."
"I won't tell her because after everything that happened with us over the past year and a half, and the emotional roller coaster I put her on, I have a feeling that she wants nothing to do with me. I was a jerk to her; I don't deserve someone like her. I know I wouldn't want someone like me. I have to let her go; I will just disappoint her if I don't. I can't do that to her. I don't want to hurt her anymore.
As she walked into the doors of the arena, an unusual wave of excitement hit Korra. The thought of her and Mako having a kid together finally hit her. She believed that she was just looking at things too negatively before; Mako wouldn't just abandon her like that. Maybe he would stay with Asami but he wouldn't neglect his child. But what if he didn't stay with Asami? What if some spur of the moment feeling hit Mako, what if he wanted a real family with Korra: one mother and father who were truly in love with each other, with children to take care of. She promised herself that she wouldn't come to any conclusions until she actually talked with Mako. She ran up the stairs to the brothers' apartment and opened the door. They didn't see her, nor did they notice her but she could hear what they were saying.
"So after all of this, after everything with Korra, you are still going to marry Asami?" She overheard Bolin say. Korra hid out of sight to hear Mako's response.
"Yeah I am. I am staying with Asami, no matter what happens with me and Korra."
All her excitement dropped. The grin on her face quickly turned into a frown. That was all the evidence that she needed and proved that she was right in the first place, that she would be taking care of this child alone. She dashed out of the apartment before the brothers could notice her, before she could tell Mako her news, before she could hear the rest of their conversation.
"Really, after all of the stuff that happened with you and Korra, you are just going to abandon her? You are not even going to have a civil conversation about how you two feel about each other? I know you love her; you just won't admit it because you believe that it is right for you to stay with Asami, even though you do not love Asami."
"No, I'm staying with Asami because I knew that I loved her, while I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about Korra. I do not know if I love Korra, and if I figure it out and I do, then I won't let Asami suffer. I won't keep her stringed along, but for now I do not love Korra and I'm staying with a girl I know I was in love with."
"Yeah well I still think that you should at least talk to Korra, don't keep her hanging on, either of them."
"I know. I'm going to talk to her tomorrow, it's getting late. She is probably asleep now."
"Ok Naga, it's time to go. We are going home back to the South Pole for a little while. Maybe we can even travel the world, like Avatar Aang did. Just the three of us; doesn't that sound great? Wide open tundra for you to run, instead of this crammed city. I'm all packed up. We leave on the next cargo ship back, which is tonight, in two hours. I just have to leave this note for Tenzin, Pema and the kids before we go. I can't just leave without saying good bye, I have to leave something." Korra hugged Naga's head and went back into the dining room to place the envelope down on the table. She ran back out to Naga and climbed on her. As she got closer to the water she could see it. The same gleaming light from the stadium that she saw the first day she got here. But yet at the same time it wasn't the same light. When she first got here, that light was just like any light gleaming, blending with the light of the entire city, but now looking back at it for the last time she realized that it was much more. That light was a guide for Korra; it was a guide to lead her to part her destiny. Without that light she would not have met Mako or Bolin, she would not have ended the Revolution, she would not have her newest reason for living, her child. She had come to terms with having a baby shortly after Aang had consoled her, she had began to love that baby growing inside of her, her child was now the new light to guide her.
Korra snuck on to the cargo ship, similar to how she snuck on the cargo ship bringing her here; however she had to be stealthier this time because now she was easily recognized. She hid down in the hull of the ship, and cuddled with Naga for the rest of the trip home.
