Hey Guys! I'm really excited about the response to this story. I've never done a chapter story before so I'm quite nervous but I want to thank those who have hopped on to enjoy the ride with me :D Thanks for everything! I hope you enjoy this chapter.

There is a pounding in my head that was most definitely not there when I went to bed last night. Although, it could have been because I don't really remember a lot about what happened towards the end of last night. Hey, don't judge. That's Bonnie's job.

The large amount of pillows that surround me starts to feel suffocating. With a painful groan I open my eyes to the blaring sunlight that is shining into my bedroom and prop myself up on my elbows.

"Starting to regret those last few shots, huh?" Damon. Be still my beating heart.

Look, I know what you are thinking. Stefan is the one for you, Elena! Calm down. I'm not jumping into marriage or anything. I'm just finally dropping the whole "I'm oblivious to Damon's feelings about me and in denial about my feelings for him" act. Stefan is sweet and caring, loving and devoted. Sure, maybe he is using this entire situation as an opportunity to reconnect with me, but at least he is trying. Don't think for a second that I don't care about Stefan, or want him in my life, because I do. But somewhere between trying to save him, and then getting him to feel some sliver of humanity again, I stopped being in love with him and simply loved him. He is my friend. One of the best. I think it was over for us long before he left. Somewhere during the course of the relationship I began to see him more as a best friend who was by my side and less as a lover who could get me off. Besides, Damon is not the worst person to wake up to in the morning. Especially when he is wearing that stormy gray V-neck shirt that hugs his body in all the right places and dark denim jeans. Except for this morning I'm not really in the mood for his sexy smirks and well timed sarcasm.

I flop back down and run my hands over my face.

"Actually, I was contemplating how underappreciated alcohol is." Is my muffled reply.

"Hmm…interesting." I can feel the dip of the left side of my mattress, which tells me that Damon is once again making himself right at home in my bed.

"What is?" I steady my gaze on the ceiling trying to calm the nausea in my stomach.

"Oh nothing." I release a sigh. I'm not in the mood for his games. From the corner of my eye I see my stuffed bear being flipped into the air, repeatedly, in some game of catch.

I cuddle deeper into my blankets hoping to find some sort of comfort in them.

This morning when I woke up, the first thing I thought of was Alaric's pancakes. On Sunday mornings he usually makes them. I remember asking him why. I thought that they might have been his favorite and Sundays were the only times he had the opportunity to make them. They weren't his favorite. A warm smile crosses my face as I remember the way he tousled my hair and pulled me in for a hug before offering a cup of coffee.

"You think pancakes are my favorite? Come on now. I'd like to think that my taste is a little more sophisticated than pancakes. French toast. Now that is a breakfast to be proud of, too bad I can't make it worth shit." After we shared a laugh he told me that pancakes were the best things he knew how to cook and that a teenager deserved a hot breakfast on a lazy Sunday morning.

He took a seat next to me and served a plate of fresh, hot, pancakes.

"It is nice to have some sort of weekly tradition we can count on in the midst of the craziness that surrounds us." He smiled as I took a mouth full of pancakes, "Besides, it's tradition for families to have traditions, isn't it? Even mismatched families deserve something." He tousled my hair again and laughed at my annoyed face.

It was tradition. It never failed that on Sunday mornings I'd wake up with an intense hunger for pancakes. That same knife twists around and around in my heart when I remember that Alaric isn't here to make them. Why can't I have one person? One person who is exempt from falling victim to the supernatural world.

It wasn't until I feel Damon's finger swiping a tear from my cheek that I realize I've let myself fall back into old habits. I will NOT cry.

Without sparing a glance in Damon's direction, I throw the covers away from my body without caring if all I'm only wearing is a t-shirt and short plaid pajama shorts. The dizziness I feel from getting up too fast and the blinding pain that is piercing through my skull are ignored. All that matters is getting to the bathroom so that I can restore my composure. There is absolutely no way that I can pull myself back together in Damon's presence, and I have to leave before this overwhelming buildup of emotions bursts out of me in the most aggravating way. Tears are not an option.

I bump into a hard body and instantly know that it's Damon.

"Elena," His tone is soft and I find myself unhappy about where this is headed.

"Damon, stop. Okay? Just stop!" I try to sidestep him but I only bump into him again. "Why do you have to be so infuriating?" I yell.

I hold his gaze. Damn, these eyes are going to be the death of me. All I can see in his eyes is understanding and a little bit of concern. Instead of soothing me it spurs my anger on more. I don't want people to be understanding.

"Move!"

"No, Elena." He returns my glare with just as much determination.

"Why are you being such a dick?" I push at his chest.

"I'm not stupid. I know that this wall you have built around yourself is threatening to fall this very moment. You think I'm going to give you the opportunity to build reinforcements? Hell no!" This is the thing I both adore and despise about Damon. He doesn't put up with my shit. He actually seems to enjoy calling me out on it. Something about it amusing him. Right now though, I do not see a trace of amusement in his eyes, just anger.

"What the hell is wrong with everybody?" I begin pacing the room, running a hand through my hair. I stop and face him again. "Why can't you accept the fact that I'm not the same weak, spoiled, emotional girl I was when you first met me? Did you really think that this whole mess wouldn't affect me some how? That I'd actually remain the same person throughout it all?" A grim laugh escapes my mouth. Damon's steely gaze proves that he is ready to counteract whatever I throw at him. "My parents are dead, Damon. Aunt Jenna is dead, Alaric is dead, Jeremy is communicating with ghosts, my ex-boyfriend just got back from months of tearing people to shreds, and my blood is on the most wanted list. What do you expect?"

I cross my arms protectively when I see Damon advancing towards me. Why does he have to make things so difficult? I know why. This is what we do to each other. We drive each other up the wall because we know each other better than anyone else. Damon and I have always had this connection. We know each other inside out, and it is because of that reason that there is absolutely no way we can allow the other person to pretend to be something that they aren't. Usually, this causes fights where words are thrown like poisoned arrows, threats are made, and heated stares that harbor an inferno of sexual tension are shared. It is fun. It is challenging. It is us, and I wouldn't change it for the world. But today? Today, all I want is to be left alone.

I open my mouth to give him another piece of my mind, but when he cups my face with those amazing hands I lose my train of thought.

How could I have denied my feelings for so long? I care about this wonderful man standing in front of me. I more than care about him. I almost positive that I lo-

"Elena, this isn't you." He whispers. His breath sweeps over my face like a kiss as his thumbs stroke my cheeks. The way his brow is furrowed and lips are parted awake the butterflies in my stomach. "Baby please, don't shut down on me. Don't lose yourself to this world. Fight it. Your heart is full of emotions, beautiful emotions. It's a part of who you are. It isn't weak. It is precious. It is something to be cherished. Please hold on to that, because I can't bare to lose you."

I feel the familiar prickle behind my eyes and I can see the watery glaze that has covered his. My heart hurts even more to think that I've caused him pain in any way, but there is another pain that is threatening to consume me and I find that I'm terrified. Unknowingly I slip away from Damon's grasp and stagger towards the bathroom. It hurts. I feel like my heart is slowly being ripped apart.

I grip my dresser when I feel like I'm losing my balance. This agony is none like I have ever experienced. I feel like someone is stepping on my chest and it makes breathing painful and really, really hard. I can hear Damon calling my name and feel his arms supporting my frame but it all seems like I'm miles away. I grip my chest and gasp for air. The realization that I want nothing else than to have Alaric tousle my hair, or surprise attack me to "test my skills", or hear his laugh whenever Jeremy says something stupid hits me like a semi-truck. I crumple to the ground taking Damon with me.

"I can't breathe." I strangle out. My throat is tight and my mouth is dry.

"Elena, look at me!" Damon forces my eyes to his, "You have to let it go. Stop fighting it." I try to listen to what he is saying, I really do but I can't get a grip. The pressure just gets heavier and heavier. I've never been so terrified in my entire life. It is like the air is being sucked out of me.

"Get Alaric, Damon. I need him." His eyes widen when he hears my words and I can see him open his mouth to respond. That's when I realize. He can't get Alaric even if he wanted to. Alaric is dead.

People say that when something tragic happens a person enters into a state of shock. They may acknowledge that the incident has occurred but the actual acceptance of the truth is emotionally blocked out. It is a way of the body protecting itself. When that shock wears off it either eases you back into reality like the guiding hand of a mother, or it slaps you in the face.

My hand flies to my mouth as a loud sob escapes me.

Reality just fucking bitch slapped me.

TBC

I'm really excited about this chapter. I hope you all liked it as well.

Let me know what you think!

LeighAnna :)