Today in school, and I don't know how the flip this could have happened, but a guy in my class was shocked by an electrical outlet. Get this; he was just sitting in his desk, doing nothing. (Or so he says, anyways) It freaked me out because I swore it was a ghost (Thank you, Edgar Allan Poe!). But this chapter comes in honor of the comedian that made me crack up while doing proofs. Thank you.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its characters.

Please R&R.


Chapter Two: Cats (Grimmjow) and iDogs

Time: Back when Luppi was still alive and was the #6 Espada. (But thank gawd he died. I'm sorry, but Grimmjow was a thousand times cooler.)

Location: Hueco Mundo, obviously.

"...the hell?" Grimmjow stared at what was in Gin's hands. "What the hell is that?"

"I dunno," Gin shrugged. "I think it's a toy dog, though."

"You don't even know what it is, but you bought it? I thought you had a reason for going to the world of the living!" Grimmjow sneered. "But you don't, do you?"

"I guess I just wanted to get away from a little while. Take a little vacaaaaation," Gin replied, dragging the last word out. "Hueco Mundo is just so booooring with only you guys. I wanted something to dooooooo."

Nnoitra said, "So spar or something! You should always be working to get stronger!"

"I'm captain class for a reason," Gin sniffed delicately. "You guys are being mean. I guess I won't give you your gifts then!"

"You brought gifts for us, Gin-sama?" Luppi purred. "We're sorry."

"I ain't sorry," Grimmjow snapped.

"But unfortunately for you, we don't care what the ex-number six has to say, so why don't you just cool it?" Luppi smiled angelically. "So what did ya get, Gin-sama?"

"Taaaa-daaaa!" Gin brought out a shopping bag and went around to the various arrancar and began handing iDogs out to everyone.

"This green one's for you, Stark. Hey, have you been getting enough sleep lately? And brown for Barragan. Whew! Is it just me or have you been getting more wrinkles? And hot pink for Halibel. Wow, lookin good, girl!"

Halibel looked like she was going to murder Gin. She hated pink. "Why not yellow?" she mumbled under her breath.

"And black for Ulquiorra of course. Say, have you been SMILING lately?" Ulquiorra didn't react the way Gin expected—he dropped it on the floor and crushed the dog under his heel, walking away without a word.

"You're no fun," Gin said sulkily. "Well, this lovely shade of green is for Nnoitra. Hey, why are you looking at me like that?"

Nnoitra threw the iDog in the air and cut it in half with his weapon. "That color was hideous," he hissed, thinking about a previous espada.

"But I thought you would like it! Now for Luppi, we have purple."

"I looooooove it!" Luppi shrieked. "PURPLE IS MY FAVORITIST COLOR, HOW DID YOU KNOW?"

"Er, okay?" Gin sweat-dropped slightly. "And I got yellow for Zommari. Hey, have you been meditating lately? Doin' yoga?"

Zommari raised his eyebrow. "Thank you for my gift? It was appreciated? I love it?" Everything he said came out as a question, but Gin ignored the tone completely.

"You're welcome! At last, someone appreciates me! Now, pink for Aporro-san! Say, have your fraccion been getting lost lately?" (1)

"As a matter of fact, they have. How would you—" Aporro stopped suddenly. "Never mind. I must get back to my quarters now. I think I'm going to check on the arrangement of the rooms..."

"Have fuuuun!" Gin waved as Aporro left, suspiciously looking back at him. "Well, this is a red one and a blue one for your two heads. Ooh, are you wearing makeup today?"

"No," one of the heads shot back.

"Be nice," the other chided.

"Hell, no."

"At least thank him."

"Hell, no."

"Thank you, Gin!" the polite head called, before its fellow head knocked it unconscious.

"I'm not thanking your for anything," the rude head hissed.

"You're welcome, anyways! Now, this orange one's for Yammi. How's your arm?"

Yammi grunted slightly. "Fine."

Gin turned towards Grimmjow. "Don't think I haven't forgotten about yooooh," he sang, pulling an electric blue iCat (2) and showing it to Grimmjow. "Do you like it? I think it looks like you."

"What. The. Hell." Grimmjow was in shock. "Why am I the only one that gets a cat?"

The other espada burst out laughing.

"Meow!"

"Nice gift, Gin!"

"Aww, I want one!" This comment was from Luppi, who probably meant it.

"And look what it can do!" Gin pressed a button on the cat, and it began to play a song while dancing and wagging its tail.

I'm a Barbie girl. In a Barbie world. Life in plastic, it's fantastic! (3)

"YOU'RE A BARBIE GIRL, GRIMMJOW?" Nnoitra was laughing. The Nnoitra, who never laughed unless he was fighting for his life, was laughing at something as stupid as this.

"You know what? This thing has got to go!" Grimmjow dropped the iCat on the floor from where he was sitting (ten feet above the ground) and jumped on it. But since he didn't have Ulquiorra's cool demeanor, the cat was not crushed. Because the iCat was turned on, Grimmjow was electrocuted.

"WHAT... THE... HELL...?" he gasped, before falling to the ground, smelling like burned rubber.

Every time we touch, I get this feeling, and every time we kiss, I swear I can fly. Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last, I need you by my side... (4)

The little cat came up to Grimmjow and rubbed itself against his face. Awwww...

Aizen clapped his hands. "Nice job, Gin."

"Thank you, Aizen-sama."

Stark yawned. "Nice job for what?"

"These aren't just toys. They're espada control weapons. When you act up, like Grimmjow did, you get electrocuted." Aizen gestured to the little kitty. "Gin thought we should make them 'cute,' so we did." Gin gave Aizen a high-five.

"Cuz cute things are just so evil on the inside!" Gin opened his eyes slowly. "So, everyone. I hope you like your gifts..."

The espada (and Grimmjow) left Aizen's room slowly, whispering among themselves.

"But how was Ulquiorra able to destroy his so easily?" Nnoitra asked.

"Ulquiorra is... special," Aporro answered vaguely. "Gin wouldn't dare to use something like that on him."

"And have you ever seen Ulquiorra like anything cute?" Halibel whispered. "He's like, immune to them."

Luppi looked back, covering his mouth with his sleeves. "Poor Grimmjow..."


(1) A tiny plug from ch. 1.

(2) Do iCats exist? No? They should. Don't you agree?

(3) Barbie Girl by Aqua. I nearly died laughing when I heard the song for the first time...

(4) Every time we touch by Cascada. So random, so stupid, so perfect for this chapter.

So, what did you think of this chapter? Remember, if you review, you get an iCat or an iDog! Or, an iBird! Seriously, they need to get those things on the market and FAST.