That Sunday morning the breakfast was silent. Sam was chewing on his pancakes with a gloomy expression on his face, while his parents kept looking at each other, as if trying to find the will to bring back the subject. Mary took a sip from her coffee and gently put the cup down on the table.
-Sam- she said softly, but her son cut her off.
-No mom- he snapped swallowing a bite –I'm good with the conversation we had yesterday. So, if the topic is not changing, I would honestly do without it, please- He glued his eyes to hers and Mary covered her face with both hands.
-Sam, you know we haven't talked about it at all. You just shut your door yesterday, saying the same thing you're saying now!-
-Sam your mother's right and you know that.. We need to talk about this.- her father intervened.
He sighed, putting the last pancake back on the plate. -Whatever, just talk.- he slipped forward on his chair, arms crossed. -I've already said what I had to, go on- he insisted.
-Sam, we don't want you to think that we're against what you want to do, we just don't want you to rush things. You've met Dean for the first time, just on Friday. We're just asking you to take a little time to sort things out, before rushing into making these meetings an ordinary thing.-
Sam lifted his head to look at his parent's face, to find pleading, yet severe eyes staring at him. Damn. What was so wrong in wanting to meet your step brother? Didn't they realize they already lost so much time? -Whatever you say- Sam's rose his hands in yield and stood up, heading towards his bedroom.
He didn't care what his parents said. He wanted to see Dean again, to spend time with him! There was nothing wrong about it, right? He was his brother, and Sam felt as if it was more of a home he have ever had. He loved his parents, but they were never at home, and growing up as the only child, felt pretty lone; not to speak of the fact that Sam never had many friends.
He took his backpack out of the wardrobe and put his wallet and a jacket in it, along with a couple of books. He was determined to see Dean again, and so he would have done. While climbing he heard his parents' voices move from the kitchen to the living room. Again on that frigging couch. He thought that just sneaking out wouldn't have been a good idea, so he was ready to throw some excuses around to leave the house. He didn't even know if Dean was home. Or actually if he wanted to see Sam as much as he did. He walked down the hall and found the living room's door closed. That was very weird. That door was never shut. Not even when random people came inside the house. Making little, soft footsteps he reached it and placed his ear as close as possible, just to catch the end of the conversation.
-..what to do with him- he heard her mother whisper. Her tone was exasperated. –I knew this day would come but.. I honestly don't know how to tell him about it, how to explain why I worry so much-.
-You'll find the right way Mary.. In the meantime let's just hope he understood what we were trying to say to him- his father added.
Sam sniggered and accidentally bumped his hand on the door handle. He gritted his teeth, repressing a curse. His parents were silent so he decided to open the door with nonchalance, making it seems like he just arrived.
-Hey guys- he singed as he pushed the door open. They looked quiet calm so he just kept going –I'm going down to the park, I need to, uhm.. Clear my mind- he came up with the first thing he had in mind.
-Okay dear.. what's in the backpack?- Mary questioned.
Damn. -Uhm.. Just my school books. You know, I might find the time to study something- he faltered.
She scratched her face absently while saying –Okay.. See you tonight- giving him a slight smile.
Sam nodded and waved, heading out of the door.
The bus arrived with a little delay. Sam hopped on it, taking the same sit as the last time.
Why was he doing this? He had never done something like that, he never lied to his parents, and never sneaked out of the house with an excuse. He could've wait, he was repeating himself. But the truth was his gut was telling him otherwise. He felt the actual need to go back there.
To see Dean. He shook his head trying to switch off his brain and relax.
When He arrived in Lawrence, he honestly didn't know what to do. It was earlier than the last time, but the air was kind of cold for a mid September evening. He didn't even know if Dean was home and he hadn't asked for his number. He stood there waddling on his feet for a while and then decided to walk to the house. He had been away for almost 3 hours now so, sooner or later, he was going to receive a call from his mother. One problem at a time. When he reached the alleyway, he didn't see the Impala parked anywhere nearby. He decided to try an knock anyway, but no one opened.
-Awesome- He'd done that useless trip just to get scold from his mother later. Whatever. That wasn't what was pissing him off. He thought he looked like a fool. And that probably Dean didn't give a shit about him and didn't have much interest in seeing him. He was pissed, taking his frustration out on a rock, kicking it on the sideway. All of a sudden he heard a car pull over, just a few meters ahead of him, but he didn't lift his gaze until he heard a voice.
-Hey!- Dean was out of the car with the door open and his hand in the air in a questioning way but you could also see a smile forming on his lips. The same that bloomed on Sam face as he recognized him.
-Oh.. hey!- Sam hopped to the other side of the car to face Dean.
-What are you doing here, kid?- Dean asked. He wasn't angry or anything. Just surprised.
Sam was lost for a moment, just basking himself in that feeling of peace Dean's sight gave him.
-Uhm guess I was..visiting.. I mean, I was coming to your.. house- Sam was stumbling in his own words. Dean never taking his eyes off his face. The traffic was the only noise, along with Sam pounding heart.
-Pile in- Dean said, getting back in the car. Sam sighed and opened the door. Dean didn't seem displeased when he saw him, but neither he looked happy. Sam looked at his hands for the first 5 minutes of the ride, then found the courage to talk.
-Where are we going?- he asked shyly to Dean. Dean kept his eyes on the street and licked his lips before answering.
-Bonner Spring- he answered bluntly. Sam nodded to himself and went back to his hands.
After a while Dean pulled over. Sam lift his head and noticed they were at some motel.
The road was very dark and there was some weird reek coming from the asphalt.
Dean parked the car and after pulling the keys out he remained still and silent. Sam was really beginning to regret his decision and was about to make his apologies when Dean leaned on the door of the car, facing Sam, his hands in his lap, and asked:
- Does mom know you're here?- It was the first time that Dean called Mary as his mom too.
Sam found it strange and pleasant at the same time. But then again he was just wondering why he would ask just about his mother. Then the words he heard today hit him. Mary saying she wanted to tell him about IT. What was that IT? Sam looked at Dean to see his face contract into a frown. But it was as if he was worried too.
-No, mom.. Mom doesn't know about this. She didn't want me to come.. She didn't want me "to rush things"- he said, quoting Mary's words with his fingers. Dean laughed at the gesture mocking it and unwinding in a more relaxed position.
-You're such a nerd!- he added, giving Sam's shoulder a soft punch.
Sam couldn't help but smile looking at someone who seemed to actually like him.
-Come with me- said Dean getting off of the car and heading to a poorly painted door.
He knocked twice, and John opened the door turning immediately, looking away to his journal.
Before either of them could say anything he exploded -IT'S A VETALA, SILVER KNIFE TO THE HEART!- and turned with an amused expression to find both Dean and Sam wide eyed looking at him.
-What the..! Sam.. Dean! What's going on? I mean.. what?- he went pale and looked at Dean like he just watched him kill someone. The silence was broken by Sam's ringtone. Shit. That must have been his mother. Shit, shit, shit.
Sam took off his backpack as Dean and John had some sort of whispered fight full of cursing.
-Hey..- Said Sam with his eyes squeezed, waiting for a yell to come.
-You're not at the park. You're in Lawrence aren't you?- her voice was resigned instead.
That caught Sam off guard so he tried to speak but she cut him off again.
-Let me speak with Dean- she asked. -Yeah mom, but..-
-Now Sam.- she cut short.
Sam sighed and handed the phone to Dean. He took it and spoke
–Hey mom..Yeah I know that.. No.. How..How can you even think I'd put him in danger I…Yeah.. Okay don't worry..Yeah okay- Sam was listening closely to the conversation feeling more and more confused. A vetala? A silver knife? Danger? What the hell was going on?
John took the phone from his son and before answering he whistle at Dean and spoke.
-You know I have to go and I can't stay here. Do you think you can take care of the kid?- he asked.
-What do you think I am? Three?- Dean asked resentful. John shock his head and sighed, picking a bag along with his journal and slamming the door closed behind him.
-..Someone care to explain me what is actually happening?- Sam questioned, voice a little too loud. In fact Dean turned to him with a harder expression.
-Do YOU care to explain ME why you are here, in the first place?- he barked back. The tension between the two was growing so Sam just stood up and headed to the door, but Dean grabbed his arm tightly and make him turn.
-Where do you think you're going?- he asked harshly. Sam who was strong enough freed himself from his brother's grab and yelled –I don't know ! I'm going some place where I might feel welcome, you know!-.
Dean expression was genuinely shocked so Sam lowered his tone and added –Just never mind, you're not supposed to like me and wanting me as a brother, as I do with you- There were tears in his eyes. He actually felt so frustrated. His feet though won't let him walk.
The two brothers looked in each other's eyes for what seemed like a lifetime when finally Dean, with a bit of cracked voice spoke -I DO want you as a brother. I've always wanted you. I've been knowing about your existence since I was 8.-
-So why you never looked for me? If.. if you really wanted to meet me.. why didn't you ever..-
-Because I couldn't!- Dean yelled. His face was so hard, he looked like he was about to explode. Sam felt tears of rage running down his face and wiped them away with his coat's sleeve.
Dean was looking right into his eyes, like he was searching for the right answer. -I was asked not to- he finally said.
-From who?- Sam asked. His tone was now calmer and the tears had stopped. Dean put his hands on his hips looking at the ceiling, and then right back at his little brother.
-From my parents- he said sadly. Sam couldn't believe his hears. What in hell could have made John and Mary think this was the right thing to do. But before he could ask anything, Dean lift his hand as to stop him.
-All the question have been postponed to tomorrow. Mom said you can sleep here with us and dad..well John, is taking you back home tomorrow.. okay?- Sam looked at him, at his tired face and nodded.
-We both have to sleep in the same double bed, hope you don't mind- Said Dean while taking his pants off with his feet.
-No.. I don't mind- Sam took off his jacket along with his shoes and pants. It was all really awkward. He haven't had a contact so close with someone, since he was a child and snagged into his parent's bedroom. Dean dived into the matters making a sound of pleasure as he hit it with his tummy.
Sam tried so hard not to look at Dean but his gazed dropped to Dean's thighs blonde hair, up to his backside squeezed in a pair of tight (too tight) boxers. He felt the blood rush to his cheeks so he just rubbed his face and reached the other side of the bed, sleeping under the covers. Dean mirrored his actions and followed.
Under the covers they were just few centimeters from each others, Sam could feel the heat of his brother's body so close to his. Then Dean turned to on side facing Sam, that looked at him for just a moment.
His green eyes were staring at Sam's face when he spoke –We're going to make up for the lost time Sammy.. I promise.-
He smiled at him, reaching to touch his brother's foot with his own. This touch made Sam shiver but he didn't let his face betray him nor he didn't move away. He just turned to Dean then lifted his gaze and said
–Okay..-
Dean gave him a crocked smile and ruffled his hair before mumbling goodnight and turning off the light.
