Apologies in advance for this. It basically came out of nowhere. Just, Bender, Marty and Ferris are one of my favorite persons that don't exist of all time and just imagine what hazard these three would cause if they ever met. At least Marty doesn't have his Delorean anymore. (Or has he? :D)

Warnings for cussing, slight references of drug use and oh-so-slight-slash. Oh, and behavior I don't recommend on copying.

Please Note: English is not my native language, and this wasn't beta'ed. Most likely contains grammatical errors.


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"Well, shit."

"I told you this was a bad idea."

Ferris grins. "There are no such things as bad ideas."

Marty looks at him.

"Okay, the execution department lacked a bit. So?"

"So?! We're stuck here, in a broom closet, and no way out until Hendrickson gives the chase up. Which is gonna take a while, obviously. And, no offense, but I can imagine better ways to spend my free period."

"What? C'mon, we're having fun. F-U-N. Fuuuuunnnn. Try the word out. Stop being a buzzkill."

"Dude, I don't know about your definition of "fun", but where I'm from, rubbing your crotch against another dude in a space so small not even an ant would properly fit, is not defined as fun," Marty hisses at Ferris, while he squirms uncomfortably. It goes without saying the success rate of squirming making them both more comfortable is not very high, but Ferris isn't going to tell him that.

Okay, so in retrospect, apparently sidetracking means something different in Ferris' world than in John Bender's, but how could he have known Bender would actually pull the fire alarm? Seriously, the guy was a whole new level of delinquent. But he actually liked Bender, because they had similar philosophies on life. Just, you know, different methods in living them. While Ferris has never been caught (or at least never with consequences) it seems like getting caught is exactly up Benders aisle. Oh, well.

"I damn well told you that guy, Bender, was trouble. And now look where that got us!" Marty is complaining again, which, okay, Ferris gets it okay?

"Okay, look, I'm sorry, okay?! I swear we'll get out of this. Thankfully, Hendrickson didn't really see us, so I think we're safe to say he doesn't know who we are. We just have to wait this out, yes? I promise, you won't get into trouble concerning your scholarship," he tries to reassure the other boy.

"... We kinda already are in trouble, Ferris," Marty grumps.

"Jesus, stop complaining. I can't think with your whining as background noise!"

"It's your thinking that got us into this mess in the first place! Why did you have to steal all the weed from the confiscated drawer in Hendricks office?!" Marty yells. Like, really loud.

"Shut UP!" Ferris whispers frantically. There are footsteps on the corridor now. Shit. They freeze up, barely daring to breathe as the footsteps draw even closer to their hiding place. Suddenly, the door swings open and-

"So that's where you two fags are hiding!" exclaims a gleeful voice.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Bender, you scared the hell outta me!" Marty angrily shout-whispers. Ferris makes an agreeing noise. He almost had a heart attack. Bender just smirks.

"So, you two pansies got the weed?" He asks them, while squirming into the broom closet. Which, Marty wasn't actually exaggerating that much, has barely any place left. And Bender is huge, all tall and dark and broody (and delinquent) and Marty and Ferris are kinda lean and slender, and even between the two of them it had been a tight fit.

"Damnit, Bender, there's no place left in here. Go hide somewhere else!" Marty sounds hysteric now, but at least he stopped yelling. Although, Ferris honestly doesn't know if it's a good sign or not. Marty then just kind of slumps to the ground, making a bit more room for the mountain called John Bender. Who still looks pretty amused.

"Aww, Marty, I never knew you cared," Bender mock-swoons. Then he sobers up a bit. "I would leave as soon as humanly possible, but Hendrickson is slinking nearby. Almost caught me when I heard McFly here screeching like a girl. Nice hideout." Ferris rolls his eyes at him, and Marty growls from the floor.

"Marty, calm the fuck down. I have never been caught-"

"You were just lucky."

"-and if I get caught, it's not by a Physics teacher who gives new definition to the word "boring"," Ferris pointedly ignores the unhelpful input. He turns to Bender. "You got out of situations worse than this. Any ideas?"

Bender looks him up and down. "I love it when you get all commanding, Ferris. It gets me all hot and bothered," he outright purrs. Ferris kicks him in the shin. "Okay, Jesus, calm your tits!" He looks up and around, jaw working. Then he looks further up, and smiles. He points up.

Air vents. Sweet.

"Okay, this is what we're gonna do," Bender starts. "We climb up and move west. It's the direction of the cafeteria. Which is gonna be deserted at this time. Then we get the fuck out. And for gods sake, keep a minimum distance of at least twenty feet."

….

Ferris hadn't had this much fun since that memorable trip to Chicago.

Of course, Bender had been way too heavy for the vents, landing all three of them crashing and burning in the middle of the library, when Ferris had actually been enjoying the view of Marty's - well. Thankfully, since it was already past opening time, it was deserted, too. Mere seconds later, there had been a thundering of footsteps from the front entrance and angry shouting. They had all scrambled up and hidden in a dark corner just behind the door. When Hendricks and three other members of the faculty had shown up and started searching the library, they had quickly snuck out behind them.

"So, that was fun. You dweebs aren't as bad as you seem," Bender laughs, out of breath.

"I find your lack of faith disturbing," Marty says. Ferris starts giggling. He can't help it.

Bender just rolls his eyes dramatically. "Stop quoting His Lordship Vader, McFly. You do not understand the finesse of the Dark Side."

"Oh, and you do?" Ferris lifts his eyebrow. Bender waggles his own right back at him. He throws Marty a fourth of the weed they just went through all the trouble to get.

"See you guys later, I guess. Gotta send this to Brian. Poor guy is probably holed up in a mountain of work, with no one to have some fun with."

Marty wrinkles his eyebrows. "Brian? The nerdy guy you told us about?" Bender nods his consent. "Tell your boyfriend we said hi," Ferris grins.

Bender growls. "He's not my- nevermind," he sighs. Arguing with Ferris Bueller and expecting to win is like expecting the Earth to stop turning. Not gonna happen. He waves and saunters off.

Marty turns to Ferris. "Why can't I find normal people to be friends with?"

"Don't be so melodramatic. And, just to remind you, I actually didn't build a time machine out of a Delorean."

"Oh my god, when are you going to let this go?" Marty moans.

"When you get that crazy Doc of yours to build me one too."

"Not gonna happen."

Ferris starts to pout. It works on almost everyone.

"No, Ferris. I fear to think what you'd do with a time machine. It's not gonna happen, period." Marty starts to walk towards their dorm.

Almost. Well, it's not as if Ferris hasn't got at least four years of convincing Marty of his other brilliant ideas.

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Sooo, that was it! Yay for John Bender and his... everything. If anyone's interested, I found the source of the original inspiration:

http: post/17255037648/marty-mcfly-and-ferris-bueller-su re-okay-why

Thank you for reading! And remember, Reviews are L-O-V-E.