Hi guys!
It's me again. It seemed unfair to only post a prologue, so I decided to post the first chapter tonight too. I decided that with this story I was going to make all the chapter titles a song title, since whenever I write I normally have a song stuck in my head inspiring me. This time, it was a song by Missy Higgins (if you haven't heard of her, I recommend looking her up because she is amazing!) called Link In A Chain. Particularly, the lines "By now you're a link in, the chain. But it's up to you, to break". Check out the whole song because it relates a lot to this chapter. As always, sorry for errors (in grammar, facts, etc) and I hope you like this chapter! Without further ado, chapter 1!
Disclaimer: I do not own anything belonging to the Hunger Games, it all belongs to Suzanne Collins. I also do not own anything belonging to Missy Higgins.
Lily could not imagine a time when she'd been more furious with her brother.
"You're just mad because Mom and Dad don't trust you enough to tell you the truth yet." Somehow, Lily thought, Zac always knew which buttons to press. "Oh, and that's right, the boyfriend you didn't even like cheated on you with the girl you call your best friend, even though you just find her more bearable than the other Victor snobs at school. And why did he cheat on you? That's right, because you wouldn't do anything with him, and she would. Yes, that was the story, wasn't it sister dear?" Zac taunted. Lily threw a pillow at him and shouted, "Quit it!" But Zac wasn't quite done yet. "A straight A student, too busy to have a real life, and still you're on the same level as me in this family." Lily gritted her teeth, but remained silent. Zac catching her look snickered and continued. "You know, I don't think Finn likes girls who shout at their brothers and have tantrums like little girls."
That was the last straw. Lily, who normally was a very calm and composed person, pounced off her bed, landing gracefully in front of Zac.
"ZACHARY AUSTIN MELLARK—"
"It's ZAM to you—" He interrupted.
"OUT!" She shouted. Smirking like a fool, he sauntered out the door. Even after the door closed, she could hear him laughing. He had come into her room with the mission to torment her, and she had let him. With a sigh, Lily flopped back onto her bed and reached for her picture album, the one that always seemed to calm her down. She'd stolen it from an old drawer in her parent's room when she was little, and ever since then she'd read it when the world seemed too cruel to face, which just so happened to be very often. It was an album full of old and new faces, some who she didn't even know. The pictures seemed to be drawn by hand, and she could only assume it was her father and mother who had made it.
Lily flipped past the first page because it was torn out. She used to wonder who it was, pondering on whether or not they were an exotic hero or a simple citizen like herself, but today she was more concerned about the comforting faces in the book. She turned to the second page, seeing a younger version of Johanna Mason, smiling back at the camera. There was a description about her, mentioning her as a victor of the Hunger Games, and lower on the page an added scribble about her marrying Gale Hawthorne. She scanned the next page and found Gale, her sort of uncle. He looked so happy, and his profile spoke of many things that Lily didn't know. Of course she knew her parents and their friends had been in either the Hunger Games or part of the Rebellion, but she didn't know much about their past.
Kids at the District 12 school used to tease her about her parents, and Lily's ability with a bow. Girls weren't supposed to like archery, rather they should like making dresses and gymnastics. Of course, Lily's parents had taught Lily many traits, including gymnastic, but Lily had always felt a calling for archery and singing. Still, when no one wanted to be your friend because you were a freak, you learned to adapt.
Eventually, she'd transferred to the Victors children's school, because the bullying had become too rough. There were about four schools, one for every three districts. She went to the school located in District 11, which had students from Districts 10, 11, and 12. It would have included 13, but there weren't any Victors from there. In her class there were only about 5 kids, but she didn't mind. Anything was better than the hell she had come from. Besides, these were kids she could connect to on some level, all were Victor's children like her, and all had been bullied for it. Lily didn't have many close friends at her school, at least not anymore, so she enveloped herself in her studies. She once had had somewhat of a life, but that seemed like years ago even though it had only been about a week ago. Lily had been friends with a girl because she didn't mind spending time with her, and then she had met a boy who she had found attractive and even fun to talk to. Inevitably, she and the boy started dating, and for a moment, Lily seemed to have found a place. But, she knew it was too good to be true, so when she'd found out that her sort-of-best friend had hooked up with her boyfriend, she hadn't been surprised. She was almost relieved, because she'd hated the pressure he'd put on her, always asking to kiss her, and even at 16, Lily didn't want to kiss him. So, he'd gone to someone who would kiss him, and Lily couldn't blame him. She might have done the same thing. Yet, even though Lily made it seem like she didn't mind, she did.
By now, she had reached the page with Finn on it, and she felt her heart skip a beat. It was a much younger version of him, he couldn't have been more than three or four in the picture, but still her heart melted when she saw him. Finn was one of the only lights in her otherwise boring and dreary life. She visited him in District 4 often, and every time they were together she was happy. Lily knew he didn't know she'd had a crush on him since she was 12, and Lily wasn't about to tell him. No, telling him wouldn't make a difference. Besides, Finn would probably only ever think of her as his best friend, since they'd been together practically since birth.
They'd done so many things together. When they were younger, Lily often spent nights over at the Odair's house, reading late with Finn beside her in his bed. One time, when they were little, they had built a fort of pillows and made a sign that read, "No Zac allowed." Lily was particularly fond of that memory.
Right before high school, he'd been over at her house for a sleepover. Although Finn was a year older than Lily, the curriculum in District 4 differed from her Victor's school, so his 10th grade year of school had been his first year of high school. Lily often wondered when Finn would deem them too old to have sleepovers and sleep in the same bed, but for now she was just happy for his company. Before they'd gone to bed, they'd been discussing their fears and dreams for the next few years.
"I'm not afraid of anything." Finn had said with a wink at her.
"Really, nothing at all?" She'd asked as she'd flipped the switch on the lamp, dimming the room. He'd crawled closer to her on her bed, so he was sitting crossed legged across from her.
"Well, one thing." Finn had admitted his blonde locks looking as disheveled as ever.
"And what's that?"
"I'm afraid that my first kiss will be with someone I don't really love. I'm afraid that I'll give away a part of me that I can never get back to someone who doesn't really deserve it." Lily had looked at him sheepishly, and meekly whispered, "Me too." His eyes had softened, and then lit up as an idea came to him.
"How about this, we both make sure that the first person to kiss each of us is someone who loves us." Lily had looked down at her hands clasped in her lap, and felt her heart drop; knowing that the only person that could make that happen was Finn. And here he was, telling her to go and do it, when she knew she'd never have the courage to risk their friendship. And suddenly, she'd felt his hand on her chin, lifting it up to look at her. She'd looked back at him curiously; as he'd bent down to kiss her, her night-light casting shadows of them on the wall. She could still remember the feeling of his lips brushing against hers, the spark that had gone off inside her. Lily had known then, with absolute certainty, that she loved Finn, and still to this day she knew it was true. And then, just like that, he'd pulled away, flashed her a prize-winning smile, and asked, "Now, was that so bad?"
A knock on her door brought Lily out of her reverie, and Lily quickly shoved the book under her bed.
"Come in," she called. The doorknob turned, and a very little and frail figure slipped into the room.
"Mommy and Daddy said you could come downstairs now." Riley spoke meekly. Lily's frame softened, and she reach down to pick up her little sister. Lily could still remember when her parents had told her and Zac that they were pregnant with another baby. Lily had been about 10, and starting to learn about the reproductive system in school. At the time, it was not her favorite thing to think about how a baby had gotten inside of her mother. Absentmindedly, a memory came back to Lily.
"I think we should name it Daisy," her dad had announced. They had all looked at Peeta strangely, and he'd continued, "Because she was an oopsy-daisy." Her mother had turned bright red, while Zac and her dad had burst out laughing, and Lily had been mortified. Now, looking at Riley, she felt a need to protect this six-year-old from the world. She followed behind Riley into the kitchen, watching as Riley's red curls bounced as she walked.
"Glad you could join us." Her mother said, smiling as Lily and Riley took their respective places at the table.
"So, as you all know, we've been having more meetings lately." Peeta stated.
"That's an understatement," interrupted Zac. Everyone stared at him. "What, I'm just saying."
"Anyways, " continued Katniss. "We've heard some…stuff about the…stuff we've been working on, big stuff, really important stuff, and—"
"Such as…" Lily cut in. Peeta exchanged a glance with Katniss, who shook her head.
"I'm sorry, but no, not yet, not until—"
"Oh come on, Mom. I'm old enough. I'll be 16 next week. I think I can handle whatever this is." Her mother looked uneasy, as if maybe considering, so Lily pushed on. "Maybe I can help. I've been having dreams again, and—"
"You've been having the dreams again?" Katniss asked, astonished.
"Yeah, it's not important. As I was saying, I'm assuming this is about that Prim girl again—"
"She wasn't just some girl, don't talk about her like that—" Katniss intervened.
"Okay, I'm sorry. Look, I'm old enough let me help! I could be useful—"
"No."
"But—"
"I said, no."
"I could—"
"NO! Lily, give it a rest, the answer is no!" Lily felt herself stiffen as though she had been slapped straight across the face. Everyone was silent, and then Riley began to cry, Katniss's shoulders sunk, and Peeta moved to comfort her. Lily was silent. She couldn't think of the last time her mother had lashed out at her, couldn't even think of a time when this had happen. Tears stung the back of her eyes, but she willed herself not to cry. Not in here, not in front of Zac.
"I…I think I'll excuse myself." Lily's voice wavered as she spoke. No one responded, and Lily left the table hurriedly.
After Lily had fled the table, Katniss continued to stare down at her hands. She felt ashamed of herself, yelling at her child, and couldn't help but think that she was being a horrible mother.
"Zac, I think you should go put Riley to bed." Peeta ordered. Zac, who normally put up a fight or added a sarcastic comment, stood up and walked Riley out of the room. Once they were gone, Katniss allowed the tears to come, tears she hadn't cried in years.
"She's ready, you know." Peeta whispered as he sat down beside her in Lily's vacant spot.
"Ready to know what? Ready to know that the girl she dreams about is my little sister, the one who I couldn't protect? Or ready to know that Madge suddenly remembers everything about where she was nearly 16 years ago." Instead of answering her question, Peeta only responded, "She's ready." Katniss sighed, and ran her fingers through her curly hair.
"What do we do, Peeta?" She asked in a mumbled tone.
"The real question is, is it Lily who's not ready, or you?" Katniss let out a weak laugh, and laid her head upon Peeta's shoulders.
"I don't know, I feel like I don't know anything anymore." She admitted.
"How about we compromise. We send them to Annie's for a week, after all she was going to spend her birthday there, and then afterwards we tell her everything."
"And during that week, you'll stay with me while we learn more about Prim?"
"Always." They held each other's eyes for a moment, Katniss's glittering with the remnants of tears. She reached out and hugged Peeta, holding him close.
"Let me talk to her, though. I have a feeling I can make her see reason." Peeta suggested. Katniss nodded her head against Peeta's shoulders. They held each other for one more second before Peeta stood up, grabbed some freshly baked cheese buns, a tin of homemade ice cream, two spoons, and disappeared upstairs.
Lily didn't feel like being alone, but it seemed like the only ones who would understand her were Finn and herself. She'd vetoed the idea of calling Finn, which left the only other option as herself.
It wasn't fair that her parents didn't trust her. Surely once when they'd been her age, they had embarked on treacherous battles and done more than sit around looking at old photos. She was tired of waiting on the sideline, watching as the world unfolded around her. Why couldn't they understand that she was capable, that she needed to do something to prove her worth? Why couldn't they see that she was tired of just being the daughter of great people, that she wanted to be seen as great too?
"Knock, knock, knock," Peeta sang as he opened the door slightly. "Mind if I come in." Lily remained silent, but walked over to the door. She stared at her father, looking into the blue eyes they both shared, making no move to open the door further. Peeta, seeing that he was going nowhere, decided it was time to bring out the big guns.
"I brought reinforcements." Lily peeked behind the door and saw the side of a cheese bun along with two spoons, and briskly opened the door.
"The way to a girl's heart is always through her stomach." Peeta mumbled as he walked into the room.
"I'm pretty sure the saying is the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." Lily pointed out.
"Same thing." Together, they perched themselves on her bed.
"So, did Mom send you, because I'd really rather not talk about what just happened."
"Yes and no. Mom did sort of send me, but I'm mostly here on my own account, and to tell you that we've decided to send you out into the world for a week in order to fight dragons, with only this cheese bun as your weapon. You have been chosen Lily Mellark. Do not let us down."
"Ha, ha, very funny." Lily grinned while plucking the cheese bun from his grip and taking a triumphant bite. "Now what's really going on next week?"
"We're sending you to the Odair's while things around here get sorted out. When you come back, then we'll discuss how much you get to know."
"Okay, fair enough."
"There's a catch," Peeta said, scratching the back of his head. "Zac and Arianna, Gale and Johanna's daughter, are coming with you." Lily paused, contemplating the idea.
"On second thought I'll take the dragon and cheese bun, please."
"Now hold on a second. It won't be so bad. You were planning on heading over there for your birthday anyways. Now you'll get to see Finn for a whole week, maybe hang out with him, get a little one-on-one—"
"Yeah, but Zac will be there. I mean he's practically made it his life mission to make sure I'm always a damsel in distress. Zac thrives off of vexation and sarcasm." Lily took another bite of her cheese bun, though it tasted sort of dry now, so she reached for the ice cream instead.
"Lily, it's only a week." Peeta replied while opening the ice cream and bringing a heaping spoon to his mouth.
"A lot can happen in a week." Lily countered.
"Fair point, but nothing can happen too."
"Touché."
"I know this isn't exactly how you planned to spend your birthday, but you're a Mellark. You learn to move with the tide, wherever it may take you." Lily let out a sigh of defeat.
"Okay, fine. I'll go for a week, but just remember how unhappy I probably am while you and Mom get to do all the detective work."
"That's my girl. Always a trooper." Peeta leaned in to give her a hug, and she rested her chin on his shoulder.
"I'm really starting to wish for that dragon."
"And you're sure you packed everything." Katniss asked as her children began to board the train. It wasn't as if this was Lily or Zac's first train ride alone, they had journeyed to the Odair's by themselves plenty of times, but still every time they left felt like the first. Lily knew her mother wasn't trying to be overprotective; she was just horrible with goodbyes. Goodbye was a taboo word for her mother, though Lily couldn't understand why. Admittedly, she wasn't too fond of the word, but Lily couldn't imagine watching someone leave without saying goodbye.
"Yes, I've double checked our suitcases, you've double checked our suitcases, I'm pretty sure if we'd forgotten something I would know." Lily replied, trying to keep the coldness out of her voice. She wasn't exactly angry with her mother anymore, but Lily still felt the sting of her words like a bruise on her skin. Katniss gave Lily and Zac a worried look before reaching into her pocket and pulling out a velvet drawstring bag.
"I know this might be silly, and you don't have to wear it if you don't want to, but I would feel better if you did." Katniss said as she pulled a gleaming gold pin from the bag. Lily looked at it curiously; unsure what shape the pin was in.
"It's a Mockinjay," Katniss explained. "I wore one in the Hunger Games and during the Rebellion. I thought, if I can't explain this to you yet, at least you'll have this to know I will."
"Is it, is it yours?" Lily whispered. Katniss shook her head.
"No, mine is tucked away." Lily ducked her head, trying to hide her disappointment. "Hey, even if it isn't mine, it represents the same thing."
"And what's that?" Lily asked as Katniss unpinned the pin.
"Bravery, courage, strength, family, and so much more. It represents whatever you want it to. I made my mark with it, now it's your turn. This pin hasn't been through anything yet, it will hold all of your adventures, whatever they may be." Katniss said as she fastened the pin to Lily's shirt. "When you wear it, wear it proudly." Lily nodded, and let her mother kiss her on the cheek one more time before running to board the train. Once seated comfortably next to Zac, she looked back at the window, and saw her mom and dad smiling and waving back at her. She smiled at them as the train began to move, and suddenly they were gone.
"Goodbye," Lily whispered, clutching the Mockingjay pin tightly.
