Annamir gets maudlin.


The fellowship, barring Aragorn, left Edoras the same day. Freeing Rohan from the nefarious influence of Saruman had diverted the fellowship's attention for several weeks and now the urgent need to destroy the Ring laid heavily upon them. At first the three of them travelled together, riding across the Eastfold toward Gondor. The gently rolling plains of Rohan made for easy riding and they made quick progress, stopping rarely and briefly. At night they rested only a few hours, rising well before dawn to continue on their journey.

The fellowship parted ways at the Mering Stream, the gently plodding boundary river between Rohan and Gondor. With heavy heart, Anna gave Gandalf a lingering hug, suddenly struck with the realisation that she would be travelling into the depths of Mordor without him. Even when the wizard had left them at Lorien to travel alone to Fangorn, Annamir had known that it was only a temporary parting, that they would meet again for the final push to Mount Doom. But now she was flushed with mild panic at the thought that she and her dear friend may never again meet. Over their long friendship, Gandalf and Anna had travelled to many dangerous places, done many ill-advised things, but they'd done them together, and that had made the impossible seem almost commonplace.

When Gandalf galloped east across Anorien to Minas Tirith, Annamir stood and watched for as long as she could, watched until she could no longer make out his starling white form against the dusky, darkening sky. The delay was far longer than was really sensible considering their hurry but Annamir wanted to make sure her eyes remembered this moment, what was possibly the final moment between two great friends. Nelwen only waited patiently, not saying a word, not trying to hurry her along or offer empty platitudes, and for that Anna was immensely grateful. With Gandalf out of sight, the women mounted their horses again and journeyed north-east, following the Entwash river to the Wetwang marches. At the marshes they would be able to ford across the Great River into North Ithilien.

Upon reaching the marshes, the two women came to the distressing realisation that the horses would be unable to traverse the treacherous wetlands. Parting with the horses caused great sadness, both because they were attached to the beasts and because they were daunted by the prospect of carrying on to Mordor entirely on foot. Nelwen was particularly devastated to say goodbye to the mighty Bill, who had served them steadfastly since Rivendell.

"Namaarie, Bill," Nelwen said gloomily as she stroked his forelock, head nuzzled against the side of his neck.

"Don't worry," said Annamir with a forced cheeriness that she did not feel. "Bill is a magnificent horse. He will find his way home easily enough."

"I know he'll find his way home," Nelwen said, giving him a firm pat to send him on his way, "I'm just not sure whether we will." She threw Annamir a sad smile, tight and thin, and the sight of it made Annamir feel cold, skin clammy and prickled.

Annamir had been feeling oddly melancholy since they'd left Edoras. She'd been saddened to say goodbye to Eowyn, the two women having become very close during their time together. She'd even felt sad parting ways with Aragorn! Over the last few weeks his hostility towards his own people had lessened considerably and Annamir had begun to see in him a great ally, a staunch defender of men and a stalwart friend to have at her back. With the departure of Gandalf and the recent loss of their horses, Annamir began to feel the first icy fingers of doubt rake along her spine.

"You're very quiet," Nelwen said at last after days of only perfunctory conversation.

Annamir thought about trying to dodge the implied question, not wanting to discuss her doubts for fear that discussing them made them real. But Nelwen was her friend and she owed her an honest answer. "Saying farewell to our friends… I have the horrible feeling that I will never see them again. I don't know why, but I just can't shake the doubt, this sneaking pessimism. I know I'm just being foolish-"

"You're not – being foolish, that is," interrupted Nel. "I too feel a similar disquiet. I think it's inevitable the nearer we get to Mordor." Nelwen took Annamir's gloved hand in her own, gave it a squeeze. "We won't fail; we'll see them again."

"We're too formidable to fail," grinned Annamir.

"You mean too stubborn," corrected Nelwen with her own crooked smirk.

The two women laughed then for the first time in far too long, loud and grateful, tinged with the slightest desperation, a hint of hysteria. Hand-in-hand, they drudged through the marshes, swinging their arms like playful children, and tried to banish the dark thoughts that attempted to claim them.