The next few days went by as blur. Stan tried to be as normal as possible. He paid attention during his classes, worked hard during football practice and studied with Andie afterward at night. He did not allow himself to think of the letter that was sitting in his desk drawer. Stan had just finished eating dinner with his family and Andie. It was Friday, so there wasn't a rush for her to go home. They went up to his room and sat on his bed.

"Are you ok, Stan?" Andie looked at him with sympathetic eyes, "You've seemed distant these past few days. It's Wendy, isn't it?" All of sudden Stan realized what a terrible job he'd been doing, trying to seem normal. It was like Andie was reading him like a book and he felt guilty. Andie had done nothing but been kind and sweet to him, and he repays her by constantly thinking about another girl.

"I'm sorry, Andie. She was just a big part of my life when I was younger. I just can't believe this is happening. I'm sorry. You deserve better." Stan felt the tears in his eyes.

"Stop being silly, Stan. You are wonderful. The fact that you care so much about the safety of someone else shows just how caring and thoughtful you are." Andie paused, "Do you love, Wendy?" She asked the question, point blank, and it threw Stan off guard. He was not expecting any of this, "Think really hard before you answer." Andie added.

What she didn't know is that Stan had been asking himself that question over and over since he read that letter. In the letter, Wendy wrote, I did love you, but not anymore, and for some reason when he read that it felt like he was stabbed in the heart. He had no idea why. I mean he knew Wendy didn't love him, they hadn't spoken in years. He didn't love her either, right? They moved on, and it was fine, so why did he care so much now?

"No," Stan finally said, "No, I don't love her. I don't even know her anymore," Stan looked Andie in the eyes.

Andie smiled, "I fully trust you Stan. I love you," Stan wondered how Andie could be so perfect and how she could love him.

Early the next morning, Stan was woken up by his mom knocking on the door.

"Good morning, sweetie pie," his mom seemed to be extra nice to him since the news of Wendy, "Kyle's on the phone for you," Stan got up and took the phone off of his desk.

"Hello?"

"Dude, I tried calling your cell phone, but you're not answering" Stan remembered putting it on silent before he fell asleep, "Wendy's mom called my mom this morning, and apparently they took her home. She's out of the hospital." Stan let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you for telling me, Kyle." Stan said and then hung up the phone. He knew what he had to do. He went to his desk, took out the letter and folded it so it would fit in his pocket. Even if he didn't love her, he still needed answers.

He had realized what he told Andie was true. He did not love Wendy, because he didn't even know who she was anymore. The Wendy that he knew in elementary school was full of life. The Wendy he knew would grow up to move mountains. He always liked to think she'd be the first female president. So what made her feel small, and invisible (You don't notice me anymore, but most people don't). The Wendy he knew from elementary school wouldn't let anyone bring her down, and boy did Cartman try. Stan needed to know what changed her, what made her feel like her life wasn't worth anything anymore.

Stan rode his bike to her house, the route feeling so familiar even though he hadn't driven it since elementary school. He went up to the door and knocked.

"Hello Mrs. Testaburger" Stan said, as she opened the door slowly. Her face seemed sunken in. Her eyes were dark and puffy. She looked like she hadn't slept in days, which Stan figured, she probably hadn't, "I was wondering if I could see Wendy?"

"Stan," her voice said his name, and it sounded so meek, "I don't think that's a good idea…" she was trailing off. She was standing at the door in front of Stan, but it was almost like she was somewhere completely different in her mind.

"Honey, go sit down. I'll talk to him." Wendy's dad came up and placed a hand on her shoulder and just like that she left.

"Hi, Mr. Testaburger. I was wondering if I could…"

"Stan, it's been years. You were a good kid. I liked you. It was a shame, when you and Wendy stopped seeing each other." Wendy's dad looked at Stan with nostalgia, "That was such a simple time. Look, at first we thought maybe she shouldn't see anyone, but maybe you could do her some good. Remind her of a happier time." Stan felt like the letter was burning a hole in his pocket (I loved you and for a time in my life, you made me very happy, so thank you). He stuck his hand in and felt it, "Wendy is upstairs in her room. I'm sure you remember the way."

He opened the door and Stan walked up the stairs. The bike ride over, talking to her parents, walking to her room, it felt so twisted, but at the same time so familiar. He reached her door, which was slightly open. He could see her back. She was lying on her side staring toward the wall, facing away from the door. He knocked lightly to announce his presence. She shifted slightly, but kept her back toward the door. That told him she was awake, so he decided to walk in. Her room no longer looked like a little girl's room. It was painted beige, with white trim, no decorations hung on the wall. She had a desk with a computer and a dresser. It seemed so plain. He walked up to her bed and sat near her feet, he still couldn't see her face. He figured she must think he's one of her parents, since she refused to look at him. He took out the letter and unfolded it. He then reached over and placed it next to her face. He caught a glimpse and her eyes were closed. She was pretending to be asleep, but he knew she wasn't. All of a sudden he had a strong urge to reach over and stroke her face. Just as he was about to, her eyes shot open and she looked at him. She definitely thought he was one of her parents, because she gave him an alarmed and frightened look. She shot upright and stared at him. He hadn't looked into her eyes in years. All of a sudden he felt like a kid again. Like the little boy in the red poof ball hat, the little boy who was full of love for the girl with the jet black hair. Wendy broke from his stare and glanced at the letter that he laid next to her pillow.

"I wasn't supposed to see you again," she said the words so quietly, that Stan could barely hear them.

"Wendy, what happened?" Wendy looked down, tears starting to fill her eyes. When Stan asked the question he intended on meaning, what happened to her, why did she do what she did, but then he said, "What happened to us?" Wendy looked back at him with glossy eyes. She opened her mouth, but didn't speak. She just stared at him. Stan continued, "When I lost you to Token, years ago, I lost my mind. I thought I wanted to die. I thought I lost everything. When you chose to skip the grade and go to middle school. I lied to myself. I said that things were going to be alright. We were going to make it. Then you got busy with the tougher school work and one day I just kind of realized that we were over. For some reason I didn't hurt that bad. I guessed it was because it was gradually coming. That it wasn't one day you were here and then you were gone, but that's not true. The truth is that I never grieved you. I pretended that I was ok for so long, that I started to believe it." Stan paused, and looked out the window, "When I went to middle school, why didn't we talk anymore? Why didn't we at least try to be friends if we weren't going to be a couple? Why did we give up on each other? These are a few of the questions I've been asking myself this past week. Why didn't I try talking to you when we were at the same school again? Why didn't I try harder? And the answer I came up with was that it would have been too hard to lose you a third time. That would have done me in. So I let you go before I went to middle school and I've been lying to myself, telling myself that I didn't care. And now, now that I know for sure you're a stranger to me, that I have no idea who you are anymore, I've started to grieve the loss of you. I can't lie to myself anymore. I never grieved the loss of you back then, but I'm grieving it now," Stan looked at the letter on the bed, "Where would we be if you never skipped a grade? I don't know. I don't want to know, because it didn't happen and we can't go back. What we can do is go forward," Stan reached for Wendy's hand, but as soon as he touched it, she pulled it away, "Wendy, I don't know you anymore and that hurts more than anything. I want, I need, to know what changed you. What made you think your life is meaningless, because I can guarantee one thing, no matter who you've become, your life is important. You are meant to do great things and I am not leaving until I help you find the spirit of that little girl I used to love. The one who wouldn't let anything or anyone get in her way of what she knew was true." Stan reached out his arms to give her a hug, but she jumped out of bed and backed away from him.

"Don't touch me," her voice sounded desperate. Stan looked startled. She seemed as if he was going to hurt her and that crushed him.

"Wendy, please. I'm here. I'm here to listen. Just tell me what's wrong," Stan didn't try to get closer to her. She clutched her desk for support.

"Thank you, Stan, for caring, but that little girl is gone. So please leave me alone."

"I'm not going to leave you alone. Did you even know that that was me that you ran into at school, the day you tried to kill yourself? " Stan realized his voice was getting louder, and he had to calm himself down. If she tried to hurt herself again, he wouldn't be able to live with himself. He took a deep breath, and stood up, making sure to keep distance between them, "When I saw you, you looked so gone, so distant. I wanted to follow you. I wanted to ask if you were alright, but I didn't and then I found out you hurt yourself. Look, this is my second chance to do things right this time, and this is your second chance at life. Do not throw this one away. I read your letter over and over again. I've practically memorized it. Even though you don't love me anymore, I know I mean something to you and you will always mean something to me. So please let me help you." Wendy looked at Stan; he could see so much pain in her eyes.

"DAD!" Wendy screamed, "Dad, come here!" Stan heard the footsteps of her father coming up the stairs and saw him as he burst through the door, "Dad, Stan won't leave. Please make him leave." Wendy was hysterical. Wendy's dad looked at Stan with a confused look. Stan put up his hands and said, "I'll leave, I'm leaving."

He reached over and grabbed the letter from her bed and headed for the door. Her dad went to hug Wendy, but he saw she pulled away from him too. Before he went out he said, "Wendy, I'm never going to give up on you. Never." He ran down the stairs, out the door and to his bike. He was furious, not at Wendy, but at the situation. He knew he couldn't push her, but he needed her to talk to him. This was tearing him up inside.

A week passed by and he heard nothing from Wendy. She also wasn't back at school yet. Kyle had Wendy's number, since he worked on the project with her, and he gave it to Stan. Every night for the past week he'd send her a text that stated, "I hope you're doing alright. I'm still here," but he never received a response. At school, Stan talked to everyone he could think of and asked them questions about Wendy. All he really found out was last year she dropped all of her friends, and she seemed to become a loner. He couldn't find one student who had talked to Wendy this year. Her parents wouldn't speak to him or let him come over anymore. Not since he made her scream and cry.

Andie could tell he struggling, so she gave him his space. He didn't really notice she was gone, until one day she came up to him and she looked troubled.

"What's the matter?" Stan asked, almost coldly.

"Stan, I tried to be understanding for a long time, but I just can't anymore. You've become a zombie. All you care about is her, so I'm letting you go and I'm moving on."

Stan looked at her. She was waiting for him to say something, but when he didn't she huffed, shook her head, and ran off. Stan watched her leave. He watched her perfect hair bounce and thought of her eyes, and her stunning smile. He remembered how just two weeks ago, he would have believed that he could spend the rest of his life with Andie. She made him so happy. And now he watched her leave, and he didn't even feel the urge to follow her. That night he went home and he cried. He cried for Wendy, he cried for Andie and he cried for himself. He was going to miss Andie, he did miss Andie. But he also knew that if he had to make a choice between Wendy and Andie, he'd choose Wendy in a heartbeat.

Stan had no idea that his feelings for Wendy would come back so strong. Looking into her eyes, he never wanted to hold someone so much. He remembered back to when he reached for her, and she genuinely looked scared. A chill went through him. If she thought that he could hurt her, then somehow he failed her. The warning bell rang for first class to start, so he grabbed his books and started to class, but just as he turned the corner he saw a girl, with long black hair opening her locker. He also saw almost all students were staring at her, like she was a ghost. She looked scared and alone and stood frozen staring into the locker. Stan ran up, and called her name. He didn't want to startle her again, "Wendy," instinctively he reached out to her, and then remember the last time, and put his arm down, "Wendy, I'm so happy to see you. How are you?"

"My parents think it's better if I 'get back into the swing of things' as they put it. So I'm back at school. Everyone has been staring at me like I'm…" her voice trailed off and she reached in and grabbed the books for her first couple classes. This was the most he had heard her talk and sound somewhat normal in what seemed like forever, "I have to get to class." She said abruptly. Stan didn't want to push her away, so instead of making her stay and talk to him, which is what he wanted, he simply said, "I'm going to meet you here at lunch." He reached his hand out slowly and touched her shoulder. She didn't pull away, but he could have sworn that she shuddered. He lifted his hand and she walked away. Well she didn't say no, he thought to himself and then he went to class.

His classes seemed to drag on, but finally the lunch bell rang and he raced to her locker. He beat her there. He leaned against the wall trying to look casual and then saw her approaching. Their eyes met and even if it was only for a second, he saw the corner of her mouth curve into a smile. He smiled big, "How is your first day back going?" he asked casually, as if it's a question he's asked her every day since elementary school. Wendy shrugged. She then glanced behind her, "Does your girlfriend know you're stalking me?" Wendy said it in a playful way, a way that reminded Stan of the Wendy he used to know. He glanced over at what she was looking at and saw Andie talking to a familiar boy in an orange jacket, Kenny.

Wendy wasn't the only one that Stan grew apart from once middle school came around. Stan and Kyle always stayed best friends, but Cartman and Kenny became their own best friends, and their group of four became two groups of two. Cartman and Kenny were unfortunately more into ditching school and smoking weed, whereas Kyle and Stan focused their energy on school and sports.

Seeing Andie with Kenny, smiling at him, looking at him with her big green eyes, Kenny making her laugh made Stan feel a twinge of jealousy. But he shook it off and looked back at Wendy, "She's not my girlfriend anymore."

Wendy's face turned from playful to serious, "Why? Oh please, please, don't say it was because of me." Wendy looked desperate. Stan didn't know what to say. Technically, it was because of her.

"It's not a bad thing, Wendy. You didn't do anything. You just made me realize that Andie isn't the girl for me," Stan tried to read her face, tried to read what she was thinking, but he couldn't.

"Stan, I don't love you anymore. I will never love you again. So if you broke up with her because you want me, then you made a terrible mistake. I don't need your pity. Like I said in the letter, you aren't the reason. I don't need you in my life. Actually, I don't want you in my life." Wendy stormed off, leaving students staring at Stan, including Andie and Kenny. Stan had no idea where that outburst came from. That was not how he was expecting that conversation to go. The rest of lunch he looked for Wendy, but couldn't find her.

After class, Stan went to football practice. He couldn't wait to get to the locker room. He knew Kyle had Wendy in some of his classes, and wanted to ask him about it. As soon as he saw Kyle he started spewing questions, "Was Wendy in class today? What was she like? Was she ok? How is she doing? Did you talk to her?"

"Calm down. I have her in third period and sixth period. During third, she was there, but she was very quiet. She wasn't answering the teacher's questions like she used to. I smiled and said hi, and she said hi back, and that was it. Then sixth period came around and she seemed edgy. That's Mr. Carson's class." Mr. Carson was their football coach. He was a younger teacher and a lot of the girls had crushes on him. He was fairly new, and just started teaching 4 years ago. He took on the title of football coach two years ago, and since then has brought the team that lost almost every game to being a team who won almost every game. He was a small town hero in the small town of South Park. Stan felt honored to be his star quarterback.

"What do you mean edgy?" Stan asked.

"Well she was fidgeting a lot, and then when Mr. Carson asked her a question, she burst out in tears and ran out of the room. Mr. Carson went after her and brought her back, but something just didn't seem right."

Stan was trying to think of everything Kyle was telling him and then all of a sudden realized he forgot his homework. He told Kyle he'd be right back and ran toward his locker. He knew to take the short cut between the buildings. A place that was almost always vacant, but it wasn't today. Stan stopped dead in his tracks. In between the buildings there sat Wendy with her back against the wall. Even from where he stood, he could tell she was shaking. He could also hear her saying something, but he couldn't make out what it was. He walked up very slowly, "Wendy," she looked at him frightened, "Please. Let me help you,' This time Stan sounded like the desperate one.

"I can't go home like this, but I need to get out of here," that's all she had to say, Stan grabbed her hand. She was hesitant at first but didn't pull away.

"Let's go," Stan and her walked awhile until they reached Stark's Pond. A place they used to visit often together when they were younger. They sat on the bench and looked out at the water. Stan wanted to hold her, but was afraid. They just sat in silence, until finally Wendy laid her head on his shoulder. Stan reached out his arm and placed it around her. All of a sudden Wendy was crying but she wrapped her arms around him and cried into his jacket. Stan held her tight and let her cry. Finally, when her sobs, were just sniffles he said, "Wendy, you need to tell me what happened."

Wendy took a deep breath and looked out at the water and under her breath whispered, "Mr. Carson had sex with me."

Stan froze listening to every word as Wendy told him her story.