Exile: And, following suggestions and the general rule of trying to keep the psychologist sane, we will start the examinations in the chapter after next! Sorry if I disappointed any of you, but I think I ought to give her at least a chapter's reprieve...*sweat*
Don't own.
Warning: Gokudera's overprotectiveness, sadistic Yamamoto, jealous Mukuro, Hibari, and Byakuran. Hey, I said this was all27.
First Impressions
A week later, at the Cafe Del Riccio, Tsuna and Sei were having their daily venting hour, complete with pastries and coffee.
Sei stared at her friend incredulously, not sure whether to completely believe Tsuna or not. Sure, they had been decent friends for the past year or so, but she wasn't sure whether to believe him or not at the moment. "Are you sure that it's a good idea for me to come over and meet everyone? I mean, you're a Mafia Don and all…" she stuttered.
Tsuna smiled warmly. Too warmly. "Of course! If I don't introduce you to at least my Guardians, then they'll go berserk upon meeting you! Some of them don't like me hanging out with unknown people," he explained. The sentence did nothing to assuage Sei's fears.
"But still…who says that they won't try to kill me the moment I step in the door?" she pointed out.
"Don't worry. If they try to hurt you, then they'll have to answer to me. I really don't want to have to find another psychologist on short notice," Tsuna said kindly. The black-haired woman glared at him viciously.
Only because I'm a psychologist? She shrieked inside her mind. Expression set in a firm poker face, she smiled stiffly at Tsuna before nodding. "But I want something after I go there," she demanded. Tsuna grimaced at the implication, silently saying goodbye to sizeable amount of money from his wallet.
"What is it?" he asked, praying that the amount of money she wanted wasn't going to damage his wallet too badly.
"I want a sanity scale and profiles on all of my…er, clients. Just give them to me tomorrow. When do you want me to come over?" she replied. Tsuna grinned brightly, making her recoil from the accursed sparkles that literally popped up out of nowhere.
"Just go to this address at noon tomorrow!" he cheered, sliding a card across the table. Sei stared at the slip of paper uneasily, gingerly picking it up and sticking it in her pocket. "See you tomorrow!" With that, the young man stood up from their table and walked away, humming merrily as a black car drove up and he got in. Once it left, Sei let out a shuddering sigh, curled up into fetal position at their table, and started berating herself for succumbing to Tsuna's accursed puppy-dog eyes.
"Jyuudaime! Welcome back!" Gokudera Hayato greeted cheerfully, pouncing on Tsuna the moment he stepped in the gates of Vongola Mansion. His boss smiled softly, nodding his head in reply. "Would you like anything to eat?"
"No, Hayato, I just came back from the Cafe Del Riccio. I ate a bunch of pastries from there," he replied, walking off, "Do you know where I can find Reborn?"
His right-hand man was quick to answer, "I think Reborn is waiting in your study; something about a psychologist...?"
"Okay, thank you Hayato! I'll see you at dinner!" Tsuna called back, entering the building.
When the doors closed, Gokudera dropped his normal grin that he wore around his boss, his eyes narrowing and his lips wearing a scowl. "Jyuudaime's been going to the Cafe Del Riccio every single day for the past year exept on weekends and when he's out on a mission. And he's always managed to shake us off whenever we follow him. My sources say that he meets up with someone there every day and that the two of them are regulars there..." he muttered analytically, a notepad popping out of nowhere as he wrote on it, "And every time he comes back, he usually looks relieved or a bit happier than when he left. My theories are that Jyuudaime fell in love with someone and that they meet there to talk, or that it's simply a random person that sits at the same table. Or it might be him meeting with an informant, but I've talked to all our informants and they denied it." The Storm Guardian closed his notepad.
"Jyuudaime, what are you keeping secret?"
"Tsuna! Welcome back! Did you enjoy your snacking session again?" Yamamoto Takeshi asked as he spotted the Decimo entering the Mansion. Tsuna turned towards him with a wide smile, blinking several times.
"Hi, Takeshi. Did your mission go well? And yes, I had a good time there, thank you for asking," Tsuna responded, hugging his Rain Guardian in a brotherly manner, completely unaware of the slight blush that had popped up on the swordsman's cheeks.
"Ah, the mission went well. No casualties, and the Acari Famiglia agreed to a cease-fire with the Pulci," he said, handing Tsuna a blue folder that no doubt contained his mission report.
"That's good. I'll have another mission for you in a few days, just take a break for now. The mites and fleas must have been a bit annoying," he said back, patting Takeshi's shoulder and continuing up the stairs. "I'll see you later! Drop by the kitchen; I think that Chef made a snack for you!" With that, he disappeared upstairs.
Takeshi grinned good-naturedly, but once Tsuna had left the area, his eyes sharpened and he grasped the hilt of his katana lightly. "So he's still going to Cafe Del Riccio every day. And we still don't know who he's meeting. Hmmm..."
An out-of-character sadistic smile appeared on his face, "If that person is Tsuna's lover, then...hmmm..." with those ominous words, the man hummed happily, turning around and heading to the kitchen.
A few miles away, Sei shuddered and nearly dropped the vase she was moving. "I feel like some assassin is thinking of killing me...better set up the guard traps..." she muttered uneasily.
The doors to his study opened, "Reborn! You wanted to talk to me?" Tsuna called out. Silence. The Decimo narrowed his eyes, hit the floor, and rolled into the room, leaping behind the door and executing several evasive maneuvers just in case his former tutor was intending to take him by surprise. Once he reached his comfortable, plushy desk chair, he looked around confusedly. "Reborn, where are you?" Instead of the hitman, however, his senses picked up another presence.
"Kufufu, hello Tsunayoshi..." Mukuro Rokudo greeted in his normal creepy manner, stepping out from a cloud of mist next to the desk. Tsuna rolled his eyes at the unnecessary entry and hugged the pineapple-headed man in greeting.
"Hello, Mukuro. How was the meeting?" he asked kindly. "And where's Chrome? I thought I sent her with you."
Mukuro looked a bit affronted that Tsuna had already squirmed out of his grasp. "The meeting was fine; the boxer did all the talking. There was an assassination attempt earlier, but I took care of them."
Tsuna's eyes widened, "Was everyone alright?" he blurted out of habit, even though he knew that his Guardians were some of the strongest people in the Mafia.
"Kufufu, are you worried about me?" Mukuro smirked. Tsuna rolled his eyes; why did he even ask? "And my dear Chrome is currently making a snack in the kitchen."
"Okay, that's good," his boss replied, standing up and scanning the room. "Now have you seen Reborn? He wanted to talk with me about something important."
Mukuro scowled a bit, unhappy that the former Arcobaleno was stealing his Tsuna-time. "I saw him leave your room a little while ago. I believe he was headed towards the gardens."
"Okay, Mukuro, thank you!" and with that parting, Tsuna tore out of the room, but not before giving the older man another brotherly hug.
When the study doors closed, Mukuro closed his eyes, opening up his mental link with Chrome. Kufufu, Chrome, did you ask the chef what our Tsuna was doing while we left?
Oh, Mukuro-sama. Chrome thought back, a bit startled as she had been about to nom on some fruit tart. Chef said that Bossu went to Cafe Del Riccio as usual after doing some paperwork.
That cafe again? Mukuro frowned. Well, then Chrome, what do you think our Tsuna does there every single day?
Chrome paused mid-bite. Bossu is either meeting with an informant or his girlfriend. She replied, remembering what she had heard the Storm muttering earlier. All of a sudden, she felt a deep black ominous aura emitted from her fellow Mist Guardian.
Lover, you say...kufufu...And with that, Chrome internally prayed for whatever poor training dummy that would be mutilated because of a certain trident.
"ACHOO!" Sei sneezed loudly, standing up to go to the kitchen and grab some water. She was either coming down with a cold or Tsuna was telling his Guardians about her. She prayed it was the former.
Tsuna walked lightly towards the eastern exit, which led to the Mansion's gardens. they weren't any ordinary gardens; one section was full of virtually every single poisonous plant known to man and some genetic hybrids. He mentally prayed that Reborn wasn't in the area with bioengineered Venus Flytraps again. Stopping under a willow tree, the brunette looked up and smiled at the sight of Hibird's nest, which currently had female Hibirdy sitting atop of their eggs. Hibirdy had simply followed Hibird one day after a mission, and no matter what the Cloud Guardian did, the female yellow puffball never left. So the Vongola had resigned themselves to seeing Hibari Kyoya argue with a bird...and lose. (Actually, Tsuna had managed to record the entire affair. One thing that Reborn had taught him was to never let an opportunity for obtaining blackmail material escape.) "Omnivore! Omnivore!" the bird chirped upon seeing him.
"Hello Hibirdy," Tsuna said, holding out a hand for the bird to perch on. It fluttered down and fluffed out it's wings, preening itself on his finger. A soft smile found its way on his face as he enjoyed the silence and lack of arguing for a moment. However, at the moment when he was finally starting to relax a bit, the sound of steel clashing met his ears. His eyes shot open and a nerve on his forehead started to twitch with irritation. Waving Hibirdy off, he strode towards the direction of the fighting, and frowned at the sight of Byakuran and his Cloud fighting. Luckily for them, none of the plants were damaged.
The opponents eyed each other as the tonfa and the white gloves clashed again, glaring fiercely, then breaking apart and moving forward again. But before either could finish the fight, a familiar person flew in between them, X-Gloves activated and X-Burner ready to be fired. "Stand down, Kyoya, Byakuran," Tsuna commanded. Both men glared at each other before stepping back, and Tsuna deactivated his gloves and blinked, the flame on his forehead dwindling out. "So why were you two fighting this time?" he asked in exasperation.
"The marshmallow head intruded on the mansion grounds," Hibari said stiffly, glaring daggers at Byakuran, "And I received no prior notiice of him coming, so I was about to bite him to death for intruding."
Tsuna facepalmed, turning the Byakuran. "And you?"
"Your Skylark-kun decided to attack me when I was going to check if you were in your room~" the white-haired man said cheerfully.
Tsuna facepalmed again. "I told you all that my bedroom is off-limits no matter who you are! Byakuran, just because you're allied with the Vongola does not mean you can visit the mansion whenever you want. At least call beforehand! Kyoya, next time you see Byakuran when he hasn't given proper notice, shove him in a waiting room and don't freaking fight in the garden," he ordered in his boss voice. Hibari looked away, an irritated look on his face. Byakuran just pouted childishly and draped himself on Tsuna.
"Aww, Tsunayoshi-kun~ but I never get to see you!" he complained. Hibari's head snapped around, and he gritted his teeth in an attempt to not tear the annoying marshmallow off his omnivore and chuck him over the garden walls. Tsuna rolled his eyes and slipped out of Byakuran's grasp, walking away from the two. "Where are you going? And where were you for the past few hours?"
Tsuna paused in his footsteps, eye twitching in annoyance, a habit he had picked up from Sei. "Bya-ku-ran," he said, enunciating each syllable, "I'm trying to find Reborn before he shoots me, and I was at Cafe Del Riccio, like I am every weekday from 3 to 5," he answered, trying very hard not to let his irritation show. Kyoya's eyes narrowed at the mention of the cafe, and Byakuran's smile grew slightly creepier. "Now, if you excuse me, I need to talk with Reborn about something that is very important to the Vongola, and if you two destroy any of my plants, you die." With those last ominous words, the brunette strode away, leaving behind two very suspicious Mafiosos.
"Skylark-kun, who is this person that my Tsunayoshi-kun meets every weekday?" Byakuran asked in a chilling voice.
Hibari was now emitting enough murderous aura to make all wild birds in a two-mile radius fly away. "Hn. I don't know. The omnivore has never told us and our informants were sent away every time."
The two stood there for a moment, then their expressions morphed into horror and desperation as they digested Tsuna's last words. "...I need to talk with Reborn about something that is very important to the Vongola..."
They both came to the same (false) assumption. Tsunayoshi is going to talk with Reborn about marrying someone! Thus, The white-haired man dashed off to the building to inform the other Guardians, and the Cloud chased after the Decimo to prevent anything unwanted from happening.
Sei sneezed again, nearly spilling her coffee. I have a feeling that tomorrow is not going to go well at all. She thought while adding some sugar into her cup.
Fifteen minutes later, Tsuna rounded a corner and was met face-to-face with the former Sun Arcobaleno. "Ah, Reborn, I was looking for you. You said you needed to talk with me?" he greeted politely, leading the way to one of the garden's many gazebos and sitting down comfortably, the hitman right behind.
"Dame-Tsuna, did you manage to find someone suitable for the position yet?" Reborn began, sitting down as well and staring intently at his former student to check for any trace of lying.
In the bushes, the minds of four Guardians and one Mafia Don were racing to the wrong conclusion. Position? As in...Jyuudaime's/Tsuna's wife? They thought frantically.
"Yep!" he said cheerfully, making them eavesdroppers pale.
Byakuran was trembling with rage. What woman dared steal his Tsunayoshi-kun?
Gokudera was seething quietly, gnawing on an unlit cigarette. Who the hell dares to seduce Jyuudaime?
Yamamoto was smiling widely, gripping the hilt on his katana with an unholy grin. I really need to practice that new sword technique Squalo taught me earlier.
Mukuro's face was shadowed as he started to imagine the illusions that would be most fit. Kufufufu, the corpse-eating crows would be good. And some of the Vindice, too.
Hibari's face was impassive, but inside he was imagining himself biting to death every single woman that dared make his omnivore fall in love with them. No herbivorous female will ever touch MY omnivore.
Reborn raised an eyebrow curiously. "Oh? You found someone already? Who's the lucky person?" he inquired.
"Lucky? She's only in it for the sake of her grade." This statement confused the others.
Her...grade? Wait, it must be some mission that another boss gave her!
"But who is it?" Reborn persisted.
Tsuna tossed over a stack of paper. "She already signed the contract. Her name's Sei Usomine, and she's the one I've been meeting at Cafe Del Riccio for the past year. She's a undergraduate and has her Bachelors degree already. Studies at Universita Degli Studia di Enna Kore, and I can vouch for her. I asked her to come tomorrow to meet everyone."
At the words, "...one I've been meeting at Cafe Del Riccio for the past year." Gokudera, Yamamoto, Mukuro, Hibari, and Byakuran froze. After a minute, their hands started creeping slowly towards their weapons.
So the one that the Vongola Decimo had been meeting at Cafe Del Riccio for the past year was his lover and was coming tomorrow.
"Does she know everything about the situation?" Reborn asked quietly, intrigued. Tsuna nodded.
It was at that moment that every single eavesdropper left, intent of finding out more on "Sei Usomine" and properly "preparing" for her visit tomorrow.
"She's pretty good as a psychologist if you ask me. She's mostly doing this because she needs to do a project for psychoanalyzing twenty five people and she hates humankind in general. She only agreed because she...trusts that I will pay her properly," Tsuna explained with a grimace.
"Oh? What do you mean by pay? What is she demanding?" Reborn queried suspiciously, mostly due to finding out the identity of his former student's mysterious Cafe-friend.
"She's as greedy as Mammon; that's for sure."
If only the others had heard the last bits of the exchange...
Sei scowled as her favorite coffeepot shattered to bits abruptly. It was a bad omen, and at that moment, the Japanese woman vowed several things: One, to survive lunch tomorrow. Two, to not befriend any more Mafia bosses. Three, never fall for Tsuna's puppy-dog eyes and bishie-sparkle attack ever again. And four, to buy a new coffeepot.
Exile: Sei is screwed, that's for sure. Anyone want to guess what sort of hell she'll go through tomorrow?
Anyway, thank you for the reviews! I'm sorry about not starting the examinations right away, but I wanted to give a sense of the situation first.
Acari = Mites
Pulci = Fleas
Cafe Del Riccio = Cafe of the Hedgehog
First client: Fuuta.
Second client: Belphegor.
Please review if you enjoyed this chapter...it breaks my heart seeing emails that people alert and fave but don't review *grows mushrooms in corner*
