Finding Gravity
(Chapter 02)
"Kouki-san, this is too much." She nervously said, her fingers groggily squeezing the edge of her strapless black-dress. "You said I can go home right after the opening show, so what's the point of dolling me up like this?"
"For the umpteenth time, shut up and let me beautify you!" Kouki slammed the brush on the table. His eyebrows contoured into deep frown as he concentrated on which colour to choose for her lipstick. "You're going to attend as my assistant and we have to make sure you look beautiful while you're helping me with the observation. You are gorgeous, but why you always make yourself look unattractive?"
"But what's with the makeup? I thought you always stick with 'less is elegant'?"
"I know, honey, but you still need a right makeup to make that phrase comes true." He took out a lipstick encased in golden frame. It was Yves Saint Laurent. "Now, part your mouth a bit."
"So the right makeup for me is crimson lipstick? Wouldn't it make me look like I've recently ate a huge barrel of blood gumbo?" she remarked with a horrified look, making Kouki shook his head rather solemnly.
"Your scepticism at fashion is something you have to fix if you really want to work here. Since you're still new, I and the others don't really protest much, but after today you'll be recognized as one of the main staffs, a position that will surely garner many attentions. Especially when it comes to what you wear." With a precise movement, he applied a delicate shade on her lips using a small brush. He then brushed a thin layer of shimmers on her cheekbones as the final touch. "Now, now, don't ruin my masterpiece with that impassive look."
"I know, I'm sorry." She sighed. Her reflection in the mirror had a neutral smile when Kouki smoothed down her soft hair, letting the loose curls cascaded down the small of her back. "I'll do better."
"Anyway, mind telling me who gave you this Valentino dress?" he wiggled his eyebrows curiously. "A guy friend? A potential boyfriend?"
"It's not that important, isn't it?"
"It's a matter of life and death! You're not going to meet a man who'll gift you designers' items twice!"
Kouki had a pondering look when he rearranged the makeup set. "It's not Ren from cosmetic department right? I mean, he's cute but I heard he's having too much affairs with married woman."
"Are you sure they won't make me look like a giant?" she nonchalantly protested, referring to a pair of Yves Saint Laurent four inches stilettos which Kouki borrowed from the fashion department this afternoon. She would be 173 centimetres tall once she put it on.
"How about Hiroya from research team? I heard he's the CFO's close relative..." he asked again, ignoring Haruna's attempt to change the topic. It was clear his curiosity had overcome his main purpose to beautify his assistant. "Haruna-chan~ say something would you…?"
"I don't even know who they are." Haruna shook her head as she put one of the shoes on.
Kouki stared at her incredulously, slightly wondering why she was being so tight-lipped about the dress. "Tell me I'm wrong, but… You're not a kept-woman aren't you?"
"What the hell?!" she snapped as soon as those words rang in her ears, nearly tripping on her shoes. "Kouki-san!"
"Sorry, sorry, I was just kidding, you know." He replied, slightly giggling. "Let's just go downstairs shall we?"
Once they're seated in the car, Kouki called again in his overly-sweet voice, causing the younger girl to laugh and roll her eyes in amusement.
"Can I make another guess?"
"How persistent."
"It's not from Kise-kun, right?"
"What makes you say so?"
"Actually, around two weeks ago, he called me and asked for your address. He said he had to talk to you." Kouki sighed, "I should have warned you. Did he really come to visit?"
"No, but we met in a café near my house." Haruna answered, feeling confused in a sudden.
"And what about the dress?"
"He insisted it was a token of his apology for the way he acted before, and well, we talked for a while, and then I went straight home afterward."
Kouki rubbed his head, his elbow was supported by the armrest. "I only hope your uncle won't kill me once he found out."
She frowned. "Did he pay you extra to scare some guys off or something?"
"No, but he asked me to keep an eye on you."
"And what does it have to do with Kise-san? Are they having any issues?"
"You know how protective he is. He wouldn't trust me to supervise you if I wasn't a gay in first place." Kouki rolled his eyes. "You're lucky he is in LA right now."
"You seem to respect Kise-san much when we were doing the photo-shoot, but you suddenly make it sounds like he's someone I should avoid."
"I do respect him. He was one of my best talents and he did a wonderful job in the past. But yes, you have to be careful with him. Although he's a good person, he's not a man you wanted to get too close with."
"He did something bad?"
"Nothing serious or illegal, but we don't want you to get hurt do we?" Kouki set his hands few inches apart in front of his chest, as if trying to measure his thoughts. "As far as I knew him, I've never seen him having a stable relationship. He wasn't a playboy either, but he's quite a smooth talker if he wants to be and it's clear he had lots of experience with women."
"It's not so surprising, obviously." She shrugged. "I knew it as well, so you can rest assured. Besides, two weeks ago were the last time I saw him."
"Oh, darling, did you hear what you just said? You might be a brilliant writer, but deep down, you're still an innocent young lady." Kouki said softly, his lips formed a thin line. "Nobody knows what will happen in the future. Two weeks might be long enough, but what if you meet him again in this afternoon's cocktail? Can you still say the same thing?"
"He was invited?"
"Kaneshiro Sensei favoured him very much. He modelled for his special collections in three consecutive seasons." Kouki put his index finger on his chin ponderingly. "Chances you meet him again is very big, you know."
"Why are you suddenly telling me this? Kouki-san… I'm not going to fall in love just because somebody gave me a gift. I think he's just trying to be friendly after those misunderstandings.'
"I wouldn't say so if I were you." Kouki closed his eyes, puckering his lips in process. "Men don't go around giving Valentino dress for the sake of being friendly. I mean, even in Pretty Woman, Richard Gere only gives Julia Roberts a flower bouquet when he apologized."
"Then what am I supposed to do? Ask him not to look for me again?" Haruna breathed out, the air felt stiff and heavy. "What if we meet him later? What should I say? Should we go back and change my clothes?"
"Oh no, no, we're going to be late, so don't even think about it." Kouki massaged his temple with his index finger. "Look, I don't want to draw assumptions nor try to mother you, alright? It's quite hard to tell, but one thing for sure, you need to know when to back off. You can talk with him, go out with him, but no feelings involved."
"If it's a man around my age, will you say the same thing?" she felt bile rising on her throat.
"Oh... that's not really it, actually." Kouki carefully assembled the right words, trying his best to explain to her without disrespecting the young man he was so fond of. "Ten years of age difference doesn't sound so foreign these days, but since it's Kise we're talking about, that would only bring more concerns."
The hotel garden reserved for the cocktail was already crowded when Kouki and Haruna arrived. It's a special event held by Issei Kaneshiro, one of Tokyo's great designers, where he'd feature some of his limited items. The magazine was the main reporter and Haruna's job was to escort Kouki and gathering information for the article. She, of course, favoured the latter idea more.
"So, any ideas?"
"It depends." She replied, feeling both relieved and tired after their venture into the so-called world of 'mingling'. It wasn't an overstatement to say that it was a miracle she was still able to feel her legs. "We can highlight the show and if possible, adding some perspective from the maestro himself. A bit of philosophical approach won't hurt you know."
"Hmm, yes, yes… We can also put his collection in our review page, maybe some tips from his style..." Kouki nodded, slightly adjusting the grey rim of his Armani glasses.
"But… wouldn't it be too much?"
"Is it? Well then, let's make article about his limited items instead, throw in some edges here and there so we can have an abundant piece without turning the whole magazine into a Kaneshiro special." He knowingly said, eyes never left the amassing crowds near the entrance gate. "Hmm… what else?"
"Nothing in the moment." She looked around, hoping to gain some inspirations from the situation. Her mind littered with tangled ideas and concepts, but all of them had to wait when Kouki cleared his throat and nudging her side with his shoulder.
"What―"
Haruna went tight-lipped the moment she followed Kouki's eyes. Those amber eyes she knew very well flickered at her direction for a split second before he turned his attention to Kouki.
"Kise-kun! You just arrived?"
She heard him said in his usual shrilly tone. His laughter went an octave higher when he complimented Kise's suit and fixing the knot of his tie with a trained move.
"No, I just had a talk with Sensei at the backstage."
"I didn't get to talk with him much when I just arrived, maybe I should take a sneak peek as well." Kouki slanted his glass, taking a sip of his Champagne.
"Maybe you should see him after the show."
"Mm-hmm… So, Kise-kun, where's your seat?"
"I'm at the second row on the left side. Are we close?"
"Almost. We'll be at the second on the middle."
"Should have guessed it." He laughed. "Anyway, Kouki-san, are you still interested with Urbane Twins?"
"Are they coming?" Kouki's eyes had a jubilant glint upon replying.
"Yes, and another good news, they're now working independently after having a dispute with their previous agency. Now is the opportunity to take them under your wings." Kouki followed Kise's gaze, which landed on a pair of girl and boy in their sixteen, wearing all-white matching outfit.
"I'll meet you guys at our seats." He casually fixed the lapel of his blazer before taking long strides to their direction, ignoring the protesting look sent by his assistant.
"You look stunning."
Kise said, taking a better look at her new appearance after Kouki left.
Her lips shared the colour of Maraschino cherry and the strapless black dress accentuated her pure white skin, two of many things that would surely draw immediate attentions. Her beautiful eyes clear and dark, framed in soft brown shades and naturally long lashes. And of course, there was her delicate mile-long legs that looked even more seductive in those stilettos.
The pilot himself was breath-taking, sinful even, with the classic-cut summer suit that hugged his figure fittingly. The unearthly attraction he exuded made the word 'handsome' sounded like an understatement.
"You look wonderful as well, Kise-san." She said whilst avoiding his eyes in tame manner, the same gesture she displayed the day he apologized to her. No matter how many times she did it, his self-control would always waver. "And thank you for the dress... it's beautiful."
"I'm glad to hear that." He handed her a glass of lemon punch and playfully clinking his own glass to hers before she could even refuse. Virile spur of vanilla and ambergris tickled her senses when he stood closer to her side. "Don't worry, it's not alcohol."
"Thank you…"
"So this is what we're going to do? Exchanging polite words to each other?" Kise teased, clearly enjoying her timidity. "Where's that divine sassiness of yours?"
"I think the situation is too stuffy for me to unleash that divine sassiness." She retorted with an emphasis, earning an amused smirk.
"Why?"
"It feels weird. And I don't think I'll get used to this kind of event."
"Is this your first time?"
"Not really, I had two last week. Grand opening of a French bistro in Shinjuku and art exhibition in Aoyama."
"Did he revamp you for those occasions as well?" he chuckled.
"Not as much as tonight."
"Still, he's not usually that caring to his assistant or a girl in general."
"I don't know… maybe it's because my uncle asked him to keep an eye on me."
"Your uncle?" Kise asked, his mind recalling the names of executives in Zunon Boys, but he couldn't find anyone with surname 'Haruna' thus he concluded that it might be an uncle from her mother's side. "Is it a top secret stuff?"
"I won't say anything about it if it's a top secret." She had a slight smile on her face. "It was a long story, but believe it or not, I didn't even know he's an executive until my second month of internship."
"Why? He never talk about it?"
"He used to stay with me and my parents back in Kyoto until he moved to Tokyo for college. After years, he told us he finally worked in a magazine, but he's practically living inside his luggage, so we don't really have time to chat. Now it's easier for me to meet him, of course."
"But how did Kouki-san find out?"
"My uncle had a talk with him soon after he officially accepted me as his assistant. I don't know what they were talking about, but Kouki-san still act the same way he used to be when I was still an intern. The only difference is his nags become more extreme somehow."
"I see your point, but just you know, special treatment is not available in his principles, so you better believe me when I said he genuinely cares for you."
Haruna was tacit. She suddenly remembered about what Kouki told her an hour ago, and she wondered if what Kouki said to her about Kise were true after all. On the other hand, though, Kise who stood before her showed not even slightest amount of intimidation, he was kind, gentlemanly, and very pleasant to talk with. Was it only a mask, or it's just his cheery nature?
"Are you going to stay until the cocktail is over?"
"Thankfully no. I can do as I please after the opening show."
"You already have a plan?"
"Does going home count?"
Kise grinned. "Will you have a dinner with me then?"
Haruna felt her heart thumped furiously. Why'd he invite her for dinner? What should she say? Kouki was right in first place, she was a teenager at heart, and there's no way she could predict his motive, especially when he was being such a charmer.
"It's just a dinner, nothing more, I promise." He added, sensing her doubts. "I'll take you home as soon as we finished."
"Can I think about it first?" she finally said after spending much thoughts on it.
"Don't let me distract you from the show." He said with a smile.
"Um, then I have to excuse myself now, I don't want to keep Kouki-san waiting."
"Haruna-san?"
She stopped on her tracks, her senses quivered in strange content when he called her name.
"I really hope you will say yes."
…
"What do you think? It's not too exposing or something right?"
"No, no, it perfectly fits me. Although I was a bit sceptic about the size when I first saw it."
"Funny we had the same thought."
A waiter came and delivered the appetizers carefully, refilling their empty glasses with water and bowed out with graceful silence. Debussy's Claire de Lune humming softly in the background, suiting the dim white lights that bathed the classic wooden interior of the bistro. In the onlookers' eyes, Kise and Haruna looked like a dream couple in the middle of a casual date. The kind which often idealized by many, a façade that went unnoticed by both of them.
"This doesn't seem like your first time buying woman's clothes."
"I know. But this is the first time I buy something based on estimation."
"I see…" she trailed. A small smile playing on her lips.
"No, don't get me wrong." His eyes widened. "They were my mom's and my sisters'."
"I won't judge." She shook her head in amusement.
"How about you?"
"Me?" She put her glass down.
"Is this the first time someone buys you clothes?"
"Aside my parents, yes."
"You sure you're not being humble?"
For a split second, she looked hesitant. She then placed her fork down and wiped her lips with a napkin. "No, that's the truth."
"You've never been in a relationship before? Why?"
"Unlike you, I didn't stand out much in high school and dating isn't something that I prioritized. Most of my time were spent for my college preps, if I weren't taking photographs around the town or writing."
"I don't know you're also into photography." He said, astonished. "What's your focus?"
"Anything that interests me, daily occurrence, objects, common stuffs."
"Are you publicising them somewhere, or it's simply a hobby?" Kise propped both his hands on the sides of his empty plate as he slightly bent forward.
"I made several contributions for a website," she hesitantly replied whilst handing him her card. "But don't expect too much from it."
"Your name suits you very well, Reika-san."
Haruna looked up from her lap, stunned by how comfortable he pronounced her first name, how lovely he made it sounded. As if she was listening to a pleasant news, her heart carried a long haul of blissful pulses.
"Forgive me..." Kise said meekly, noticing the change in her expression. "Did I make you feel uncomfortable?"
"No, of course not. I was just a bit surprised..." she bit her lips as she observed him before she hesitantly continued, "I don't mind if you prefer to address me that way."
"Then it'd be better if you too, drop the honorific with me, especially when we're not in a professional situation like this."
"B-but that'd be impolite." She stammered, shyly avoiding his gaze again.
"Oh, but I insist."
The waiter came and served two plates of confit de canard with a carafe of Merlot, saving Haruna from having to answer him. Now that she paid attentions, Chopin's Nocturne swayed romantically, the tables around them were filled with new customers, and the bistro grew even busier as the nightfall arrived. Seemed like their conversation had warped them to an unknown, secluded space that turned the common reality into an impasse.
"Reika…" He softly called, putting his utensils down in process. "What makes you assume that dating is something I prioritized?"
"To put it blunt, you look like a person with long list of lovers."
"I thought you'll have a different perspective about that matter." He said while pouring another glass of wine. "But I guess it was foolish of me for hoping that people would think the opposite." He slanted his glass. It dangled gently between his long fingers, as the deep carmine liquid stirred in circular motion. "Since we're at it, do you still want to hear about your question from before?"
"Why you suddenly bring it up?"
"I wonder why as well." He gave her a crooked smile, his eyes were dense with serene reluctance. "I'm very aware I shouldn't talk too much about my private life nor being involved too far with you. We're so different in many senses. I'm a man, you're a woman; I'm almost thirty when you're not even legal to drink alcohol yet; I had experienced lots of affairs while you haven't had any. But somewhere in between, talking with you feels natural."
Haruna stared at her fingers. They were trim and bony, with red manicure that matched her lips. It happened for a while until she decided to remain silent, which he took as his sign to continue.
"As far as I can remember, people sees me as a man who enjoys life too much to bother about marriage, but that's not it. I'd love to get married someday, but I'm not determined enough to mull it over so I prefer to go with the flow instead of desperately looking for a partner."
"So… are you saying you're particular about relationship?"
"For someone who works as a columnist for lifestyle magazine, you are too trusting sometimes. Don't take things literally, or you'll gain unwanted attentions from dangerous people."
"I'm not! I'm just trying to keep a neutral response!" her face reddened. For the first time since they met, both finally acted as two persons with ten years of age difference. "It's your fault for putting it up that way."
"What I'm saying is the relationship itself is being particular with me." He fondly said, tilting his head to the side as he looked straight into her eyes.
"I don't understand."
He chuckled, taking the last bite of his food before washing it down with another glass of wine. "And I hope you'd never do, because those kinds of relationship I had gone through would only give you pain and false hopes."
"How come?"
He blinked, staring at her who silently waited for his answer. Her food was halfway eaten, and her glass of wine stayed untouchable. Rays of amber in his eyes dimmed for a moment, the same look he unconsciously had whenever he reminisced about his past affairs. When he opened his mouth, he was telling a story from long, long ago.
She was a teen-idol, and he was the fresh face in modelling industry. They were paired up for a commercial and when he met her, he almost believed that love at first sight was real. Kise warmed up to her faster than he would to anyone, and he was more than elated to confess upon their third meeting. She was four years older than him, mature enough to handle Kise's childishness, but not trusting enough to cope up with his immense popularity. After six months trying to compromise with her possessiveness and jealousy, he called it quit.
Kise then attended college, pursuing his decision to be a pilot with full determination. In those years, he casually dated tons of women. From older to younger ones, college-mate to the ones he accidentally met, Japanese to foreigners, he spared them equal amount of attentions, although none of them really interested him. Except for one girl who later became his first love and his most painful history.
A waiter brought desserts and coffee to their table. She took a small bite of the mille crepe as her thoughts swam through every existing vocabulary in her brain in search of the rightest words possible. "Do you still love her?"
She mentally scolded herself for sounding like a jealous girlfriend, but she can't help it since it was the only thing she could ever think of. The way his voice softened at the mention of her caused a strange sensation at the pit of Haruna's throat. And somehow, she was sure that lump would remain until she had heard all of his stories.
"I can't narrow my feelings down to mere phrases like 'still love' or 'no longer love'. I've forgotten some memories and many details became blurred, but whenever I think of her, my heart would hurt a little bit." He put his cup on the saucer, the timbre of his voice was painfully quiet. Their surroundings replaced with brooding tension. His sherbet had melted, steams of his espresso had died down, and his eyes layered with silver tears. "Even after almost ten years since she died."
