I don't own any of these characters, etc..
TOW Job interview
Scene: Monica & Chandler's apartment, Monica & Rachel are looking at Monica's clothes
(Chandler enters)
Chandler: hmmm clothes strewn everywhere . . . you know if you two weren't dressed I'd swear you guys were getting it on and thus all my dreams would be coming through
Monica: keep dreaming baby, no this is for my job interview tomorrow, Rachel's helping pick out an outfit that says 'wow you look very competant' with a little bit of 'wow your hot'
Chandler: job interview?
Monica: I told you about it last week! . . . My boss is looking about hiring an assistant manager at the restaurant and I put my name forward . . . any memory?
Chandler: where were we when you told me?
Monica: in our bedroom
Chandler: honey the bedroom is for sleeping and sexy time, I only pretend to listen to you in there so I can get you to stop yappering to either fall asleep or to do you and then fall asleep
Rachel: you know Mon I probably don't say this enough but you are one lucky lady!
Opening Credits
Scene: Ross & Rachel's apartment
Ross: see that wasn't so hard, now next time when she needs her diaper changed you can do it by yourself without me showing you right?
Rachel: I don't know I may need a couple more demonstrations
Ross: well how many more could you need it's really not that hard!
Rachel: oh I don't know, when do they learn to use the bathroom?
Ross: look now that she's asleep you think we could talk about us?
Rachel: what do you mean?
Ross: well we just had a baby together and usually people who have a baby together at least try and make it work for the sake of the child
Rachel: yes but most people don't have our history
Ross: I know its complicated
Rachel: Ross it's more than complicated we've been married for god sake, look when it comes to us it seems we do things in a screwed up way because I think, and don't quote me on this, most people are together in some form or another before they have a child
Ross: I know its complicated but look I think we should just try now to make things work and then if it doesn't work out it won't affect Emma that much because she won't notice
Rachel: she notices plenty, she helped me choose what clothes to wear today!
Ross: as I've said before Rach gurgling doesn't count as conversation!
Rachel: fine look I'll think about it . . . but I swear to God if you propose to me
Ross: hey I want to take it slow I'm not going to propose when we've barely started anything
Rachel: Ok sure but try telling that to Emily!
Scene: coffee house, everyone's there except Monica & Phoebe, Emma's crying
Chandler: you know at times like these when I look at Emma I wonder why I even would consider having a child
Joey: because you're whipped
(Phoebe enters)
Rachel: hey sweetie you Ok? You look a bit . . . hmmmm how can I be nice about this
Ross: if you can't say anything nice don't saw anything at all
Phoebe: I'm Ok just a little behind on my bills apparently people don't need to get massaged anymore, no they can find their own, inexpensive ways of de-stressing themselves!
Joey: what happened?
Phoebe: I just lost another customer and apparently the bank wants to meet me to 'talk', ugh Ross I blame you for this!
Ross: what did I ever do but give you good financial advice
Phoebe: if you call not hiding all your money under your mattress good advice! You can't trust corporate bankers, that's why I don't pay taxes I don't want to feed the greed!
Scene: Monica & Chandler's, Chandler's there & Joey enters
(Joey goes straight for the fridge)
Chandler: do you even see me here or is it only about food for you
Joey: well its past 5 o' clock and I couldn't smell Monica cooking anything from my apartment so I decided to come here and feed myself
Chandler: (sarcastic) damn Monica!
Joey: I know! She knows when I need to be fed! You've got to get her under control man, she\s your responsibility not mine!
(Monica enters)
Joey: its about time woman! now that you're hear I could really go for lasagna
Monica: well sweetie you might have to get someone else to look after your food because I'm way too important and busy for that now
Chandler: so I take it then they gave you the job
Monica: well they have a couple more people to interview but come on it's me and I thrilled them
Chandler: by thrilled them I hope you mean that in a non-sexual way . . . . congratulations honey (they kiss)
Joey: awww what a sweet moment . . . but I'm still hungry here!
Closing Credits
Scene: Ross & Rachel's, Rachel's there with Emma
Rachel: oh sweetie aren't you just so beautiful . . . and smelly, oh god sweetie why now Ross isn't here, you'd be Ok till he comes back right?
(Emma starts crying)
Rachel: oh no sweeite, mommy's here but mommy just got a manicure . . . . (picks up phone) hey Monica you think you could pop by here . . . . just for a chat . . . really I only want to talk . . . . (hangs up) there Emma Aunt Monica is on her way because Green's don't do diaper changing, we'll leave the dirty work to the Gellars, the sooner you learn that honey the better
