Happy to see the positive reviews for the first chapter. I try very hard to keep everyone in character.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gravity Falls or any of its characters.
Gassed and Confused
Chapter 2
"Wendy get down from there!" Dipper snapped.
"WOOOOO!" Wendy cheered as she stood on the back of the cart holding onto the bars as they drove.
"Argh" Dipper sighed. Ever since he'd picked her up, Wendy had been acting crazy. No common sense or self control, kinda reminded him of Mabel.
He came to a stop by the sidewalk. "Faster!" Wendy cheered, seemingly oblivious to the fact they weren't moving anymore.
"Come on Wendy," Dipper got out of the cart. "Its time to sit down so I can take you hom-" he stopped when he saw she was gone. "Seriously!?" He nearly shouted.
He jumped back into the cart and started driving away. "Okay think," he said to himself. "Wendy's loopy from the gas, she couldn't have gotten far." He then heard screaming and something landed on the carts roof. "What the?" He pulled over and looked up to see it was a person. "Toby Determined?"
"Oh marbles." He said before rolling off the roof and falling to the ground.
"Where'd he come from?" Dipper then noticed a crowd gathered on the sidewalk.
"Oh too bad for Toby," Bud Gleeful shook his head. "But don't that scare any of you. Step on up and see if you can last against, the Bull Ride of Terror!" He gestured to a mechanical bull ride with a sinister metal bull head on the front. "How about you young lady?"
"Hmm, sounds like fun," Wendy said with her eyes half closed.
"Wendy!" Dipper rushed over. "Come on, your in no shape to ride a bull, mechanical or otherwise."
"Are you sure about that?" Bud asked. "Theres a very special prize for anyone who can last thirty seconds on this mighty beast."
"Hmm," Wendy thought for a moment. "Okay, I'll get on the bull. But on one condition." She wrapped an arm around Dipper. "My buddy here rides it with me."
"Wait what?" Dipper blinked.
"Sure, why not." Bud shrugged.
"Sweet, come on Dipper." She grabbed his arm and pulled him over to the bull, setting him down on it before sitting behind him. "Lets ride!"
"Hold on tight, and I mean that literally." Bud pressed a button and the bull began to slowly buck.
Dipper grabbed hold of the reins with both hands and Wendy did the same. Dipper felt his face heat up from how close they were, but before he could linger on it, the bull began bucking faster. "Oh boy."
"Yeah!" Wendy cheered. "Faster!"
"Whatever the lady wants," Bud said before the bull began bucking so fast Dipper could barely hold on. Wendy on the other hand, let go with one hand and held it in the air while laughing. Bud looked at his watch, "and that's thirty seconds! Congrats you've won the prize!" He pressed a button, but nothing happened.
"Ah if we won, shouldn't you be turning this thing off?" Dipper asked.
"Hmm," Bud pressed button again but nothing happened. "That's strange. Shifty said just push this button to make it stop."
"Wait," Dipper blinked. "Did you say shifty?" The bulls eyes then glowed bright red and steam poured out of its nostrils. "Oh no."
The bull began bucking dangerously fast and Dipper held on for dear life. Wendy on the other hand was having a blast. "WOOOOO!"
Steam stared spraying from different parts of the bull as the bucking got faster and more random, making the crowd take a few steps back as it started shaking. "That can't be good." The bull then bucked upwards so hard, the seat broke off sending it, Dipper and Wendy flying through the air. With the former screaming and the latter laughing.
"Oh dear," Bud tugged his caller. "I'll mail you your prizes!"
The Woodpecker guy was walking through the park with his wife on his shoulder. "There, we're out in the fresh air. Happy now?" The woodpecker just chirped. "There is just no pleasing you!" The Woodpecker flew off his shoulder, "now what?" He was then knocked to the ground when Dipper landed on him.
"Ow," Dipper sat up. "Ah, sorry." He got to his feet.
The Woodpecker flew back landing in front of her husbands face and chirped. "How is this my fault?" The Woodpecker proceeded to peck his nose. "OW!"
"Okay," Dipper backed away from the strange scene. "I'm just gonna go." With that he ran off. "Wendy! Wendy!" He called out as he looked for her. "WENDY!"
"DIPPER!" He jumped back and looked up to see Wendy in the tree. "Why are we yelling?"
"Wendy! Are you okay?" He asked.
"I'm great," she smiled. "Wasn't that ride awesome?"
"Ah sure," Dipper looked away for a moment. "That's the word I'd use. Anyway, how about you come down from there and we head to your house?"
"Aww, but we just got here," Wendy moaned, "hey look." She pointed to a parked police car which Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland standing next to and drinking coffee.
"Blubs and Durland?" Dipper raised an eyebrow. "What about them."
"Those guys are so dumb," she laughed. "Once, me and my friends stole their car and uniforms while they were playing dress up in the high school gym."
"Seriously?" Dipper asked.
"Yeah the doors were left open, wide open!" Wendy held her arms out, almost losing her balance but grabbed the branch she was on. "Even left the keys in the ignition."
"Wow," Dipper looked back at the two, "Those guys really are not good at their jobs."
Wendy gasped. "You should prank them!"
"Wait what?" Dipper asked.
"You should totally prank them," she repeated. "Come on it'd be so funny!"
"Wendy I can't prank cops." Dipper said.
"Sure you can man," Wendy smiled. "Your like one of the smartest people I've ever met."
Dipper blushed at the compliment, "ah thanks." He coughed into his fist. "But seriously I'm not gonna prank the cops."
"Okay, then I'm not coming down." Wendy shrugged.
"What?" Dippers eyes widened.
Wendy gripped the branch she was on. "I'm not coming down unless you prank them."
Dipper looked at her. "You can't be serious."
"Yeah I can," she smiled. "I just don't want to," she started snickering.
"Oh come on!" Dipper said in frustration. He walked away mumbling to himself and trying to think of a plan when he bumped into someone.
"Oh hey Dipper," Tambry said while texting.
"Tambry, man am I glad you're here. Listen I've got a situation here." Dipper began.
"Wendy was at the dentist and they gassed her. So now shes totally out of it and acting crazy?" Tambry said without looking up from her phone.
"Oh," Dipper blinked. "Yes exactly. Wait, has this happened before?"
"Everytime shes ever had a filling." She shrugged.
"Well right now shes in that tree and won't come down." Dipper pointed. "Unless I prank Blubs and Durland."
"You gotta do what she wants," she said simply.
"But-" Dipper tried but she cut him off again.
"Trust me, I've seen this enough times. The only way to get her outta the tree, is to do what she asked." Tambry explained. Then looked up as if she was thinking of something. "Or get a tranq gun. That's what they did with Manly Dan once. "Later," she then walked off.
Dipper watched her go then looked up at Wendy who gave him a big wave, almost falling out of the tree in the process. She gripped the branch again and chuckled. Dipper looked at the cops and sighed. "Maybe I should have stayed and helped with the smoothy machine."
The Mystery Shack
Mabel held up the blueprints and inspected them. "Hmm, I think we're getting closer." She lowered it to see a new metal trap, with Stan locked in metal stocks and Soos held in a metal drum slowly spinning around. "Maybe?"
"Dudes, I don't feel so good." Soos said looking a little green.
"Soos don't you dare puke on my floor." Stan warned.
"If he barfs, the floors not the only thing hes gonna hit." Mabel chuckled.
"What?" Stan raised an eyebrow, looked at Soos and realised his was with in vomit distance. "Mabel! DO SOMETHING!"
"Ah," Mabel looked around and saw a blue button and pressed it. A metal plate slid open and a rod with a boxing glove on it shot out, punching Stan in the face. "OW!"
"Oops," Mabel winched. "Wait, why would a smoothy machine have punch somebody in the face button?"
Suddenly Stanford walked in. "Stanley I know this is a long shot, but do have any carbon rods in the house?" He then noticed what was happening, "uh whats going on?"
"Grunkle Ford!" Mabel smiled. "Perfect timing."
"Please help." Soos begged. Ford approached the machine and opened a panel with a screwdriver before disconnecting a cable. The drum stopped turning, with Soos right side up. "Oh man, thank you."
"Don't mention it," Ford said. "What is this contraption?"
"Just a little assembly trouble." Stan said. "No big deal."
"Grunkle Stan bought a smoothy machine, but the instructions don't make any sense." Mabel explained. "Think you could help us out."
"You've come to the right person." Ford Smiled, then placed a hand under his chin. "Technically I came to all of you, but that doesn't matter. I'll have this assembled and working better than ever."
"Yeah!" Mabel through her arms out with a cheer, accidentally hitting the blue button again. The boxing glove shot out, this time punching Ford and knocking him to the ground.
"HAHAHA!" Stan laughed. "What do you know? It is working better."
The Park
Dipper looked from behind a tree as he observed the two cops drinking their coffee. "This is a bad idea," he said to himself. He looked back at Wendy in the tree who gave him a big smile and a thumbs up. "Here goes nothing." He approached the two. "Afternoon Officers, hows the coffee?"
"Its really hot!" Durland said loudly.
"Kid we're on a break right now," Blubs explained. "So unless you're here to report a crime, I'm gonna have to ask you to move along."
"Oh, well then I guess I'll be going then. Hey is that guy jaywalking?" Dipper pointed.
"Huh?" They both look, and Dipper discreetly placed a tiny stick on Blubs hat.
"Oh sorry, they were just regular walking." He said quickly. "My bad. Hey is that a spider?"
Durland turned and saw the stick on his partners hat, and it did look like a long legged spider. "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! SPIDER!" He drew his night stick and swung it down on his partners head. This caused him to spit the hot coffee he was drinking into Durland's face. "AAAAHHHH! IT BURNS!" He raised the night stick again.
Blubs raised his hands, "wait, wait!"
Durland swung the night stick down on Blubs head again, "I'll get it!" He swung again, hitting his shoulder then his head again. Blubs turned and ran, but Durland ran after him. "Come back! It might be poisonous!"
Dipper chuckled to himself. "Well, that was easy." He then felt someone lightly punch his shoulder.
"DUDE!" Wendy laughed. "That was hilarious!"
"Thanks," Dipper said while wondering how she snuck up on him like that. "Durland's fear of spiders did most of the work.
Wendy tried to open the car door. "Its locked."
"Guess they're learning," Dipper said. But then noticed the keys were still in the ignition. "Or not."
"They locked themselves out," Wendy chuckled.
"Hilarious," Dipper said quickly. "So, now that they're pranked, lets get going."
"Sure," Wendy took Dippers hand and lead him along the path.
He felt himself blush from holding her hand. "Her hands are so soft. Be cool Dipper," he mentally told himself. "Be cool." It was then he realised something, they were going the wrong way. "Ah Wendy, the golf carts that way."
"Yeah, but this place is right here." She stopped right outside the biker joint, Skull Fracture.
"Ah, Wendy-" Dipper began but Wendy cut him off.
"My Dad goes here all the time," she said. "Always wondered what the place is like on the inside."
"Wendy I'm pretty sure it illegal for use to be in there." He said, not mentioning the time he and Mabel got in using googly eyed fake ID's.
Suddenly a small Grunkle Stan with devil horns, a tail, a pitch fork and a red cape appears on Dippers right shoulder. "Remember what I always say Dipper. When theres no cops around, everything is legal."
Then a mini Mabel appeared on his other shoulder, also dressed as a devil. "Don't do it Dipper. You know better. I mean sure we both used fake IDs to get in there once, but that was for justice, and mystery." She said the last part while wiggling her fingers.
"Wait, shouldn't you be the angel on my shoulder?" Dipper asked.
"I am the angel on your shoulder," she said.
He raised and eyebrow, "then why are you dressed as a devil?"
"Cause I look adorable in anything." She smiled.
"Gotta hand it to her." Devil Stan admitted. "She really does."
A small Soos then appeared on his left shoulder, wearing a hotdog costume. "Soos? Why are you here?" Dipper asked. "And why are you dressed like a hotdog?"
"My masked wrestler costume is in the wash." He said simply. "Besides, who doesn't love hotdogs?"
Then a diminutive duo of Blubs and Durland appeared on his right shoulder, both dressed as bottles of ketchup. "Really? Why are you both ketchup?"
"We were supposed to be ketchup and mustard, but somebody brought the wrong costume." Blubs said while glaring at his partner.
"All that yellow hurt my eyes." Durland said.
Ford appeared on his left shoulder dressed as a pirate. "Dipper, I think you might have some issues."
"Hey poindexter, the eye patch is my thing!" Stan snapped.
Then Old Man McGucket appeared on his right shoulder dressed as little bow peep. He looked around, "Wait, why is everybody else dressed up? There must have been something wrong with the squirrel stew."
"Okay," Dipper looked straight ahead with wide eyes. "Clearly I do have some issues."
"Dude," Wendy leaned down. "Whats with all the little people on your shoulders?"
"She sees us. SCATTER!" Devil Stan shouted and they all disappeared in a puff of smoke.
"I should probably look into that later." Dipper thought to himself before taking a moment to shake his head clear. "As I was saying, we don't have ID's." Dipper pointed out.
"Pssh," Wendy waved it off. "Chill, I got this." She pulled him towards Tats, the bouncer who stood by the door. "Hey bro," she said getting Tats attention. "Look," she pointed, "we're over there."
"What?" He blinked before turning around to look.
"Boosh," Wendy whispered before pulling Dipper into the biker joint.
Remember the Woodpecker guy? I'd say that's one of the weirdest things of all. And what Wendy said about stealing Bubs and Durlands car, it actually happened in a Gravity Falls short. Many of you are probably wondering about Dipper seeing tiny people appear on his shoulder, and Wendy being able to see them two. Well, you'll have to keep reading to find out.
