Chapter 2: "Scorn and Negelct."
At some point Bash had refilled his glass, and the full effects of the Brandy he was drinking were weighing heavily on him. Catherine on the other hand seemed to be coming back around to feeling normal.
The fire roared, though the heat from it was doing little compared to the chill of a better northern France winter. Bash was starting to feel rather comfortable
"They almost were the cause of my death, you know?"
Sebastian's brow furrowed at her statement, "Henry?"
She scoffed, "Oh if wishing made it so. No, my dear, the twins."
"Ah." He nodded as he sipped his Brandy, the warm liquid burning his throat. He started to feel relaxed enough to be in her presence.
"Your mother, on the other hand, was not pleased. Knowing her complete and utter disgust with Henry gave me a small moment of pleasure at her expense."
Bash laughed, he actually laughed at her statement, "Catherine, I'm sure she had many moments of pleasure at your expense. You at least owed her one."
She laughed a small lighthearted chuckle. She leaned forward, mere inches away from him and grabbed his drink from him as she downed the contents she became serious.
Her hazel eyes looked right into his steely blue ones, "Bash, I don't mean to ridicule your mother in front of you, and I know you think I have a hatred for you and your mother, but' she paused and sat back with a heavy sigh, 'the truth is…I don't blame you or your mother."
He rose from his place and went to grab himself another drink as he spoke, "Catherine, you've never been unkind to me outright. Any feelings of ill will towards me I always attributed to the situation you had to endure. My mother should not be so easily excused from her actions."
"Oh make no mistake, my dear, I do not EXCUSE her from her actions, but I do have to find a place of forgiveness for her. It is the only way I can even think to move on from this wretched nightmare that's been my marriage for the past 25 years."
He stood beside her and nodded as he drank. He was intrigued by her. She was a mystery to most of France, including him. He had always wondered who the woman behind the face of the Queen of France really was,
"So..the twins? What happened?"
She held up the glass she stole from him, and he smiled as he poured her another glass, then he moved to sit back down.
"The night I went into labor was not a pretty one. We were hosting an audience with the Bourbons. It seems that at any point of weakness that the Valois crown has endured, that family has been there, waiting in the shadows to grasp power. I remember having an argument with your father, what it was about at this point, I really can't remember. Probably because in the middle of it I saw the room begin to sway. For the next two days, I labored. I moved in and out of consciousness, only to endure hours straight of gripping pain."
She paused and laughed.
"Keep in mind, before the twins I had four other children. I had pain, of course with them, but this was different. It was relentless. It was beyond terrible; it would cause me to lose consciousness at intervals. Of course, I later found out from Nostradamus most of that was due to the immense amount of blood I was losing. "
She stopped long enough to drink, Bash's face held concern,
"Where was Henry in all of this?"
"My dear, Kings do not await the arrival of children. Although, with Francis and Louie he stayed by my chambers all night; Of course, we were happy then. He had struck up a party with the nobles, taking bets on if it would be a boy or a girl."
Bash interrupted her more forcefully than he had meant to,
"All the while, your lying in your chambers, possibly dying, bringing his children into the world!?"
The room fell silent as Catherine simply stared at him after his outburst. He was angry, she could see it, for many reasons, but she could see his rage towards Henry. However, Henry had been a wonderful father to him. Francis never knew his father the way that Bash did.
Catherine was quiet and she reached forward and grasped his hand. That action seem to pull him from his volatile gaze into nothingness and his rage towards Henry.
"He hurt you, I'm sorry for that. There is no excuse or words that can ease that type of pain, I know."
Bash felt like a fool. The way that Henry had hurt him couldn't begin to compare to what he'd done to his actual family.
"Catherine, please don't. Don't apologize for him. Don't you think you've done that enough for him through the years?"
They were quiet for a few moments, simply staring into the abyss, thinking of the past until Bash broke the silence,
"What happened next, with the twins?"
"When the babies were born, early, but healthy as could be given the circumstances; I was still in a terrible state. I continued to lose blood for several days after the event. I couldn't even hold my children as they were brought into this world, couldn't shield them for just one small moment from the pressures of royal life.
Nostradamus went and found Henry. He told him I had given birth to not just one, but two twin baby girls. He was floored. From what Nostradamus told me, he was overjoyed. However then he broke the news that I, on the other hand, was not doing well. He told Henry to prepare, because he would probably lose me before the week was over. "
She paused to drink and leaned forward again, lost in thought.
"You know…I asked Nostradamus years later how Henry reacted to that news. I'm still shocked by what he told me."
Bash Interrupted, "Let me guess..threw another party for the impending death of the evil queen?"
She threw her head back and laughed hysterically. It was a lovely sound as she so rarely showed deep emotion…except for anger. That one, she was always spot on.
"Evil Queen? Now THAT is quite amusing."
He laughed slightly as he watched her eyes dance with delight at his statement.
"No, no…actually, according to Nostradamus... he wept. He erupted in anger inside of the throne room, ordered all of the Nobles to leave at once, and for two days he stayed in his chambers. One of my ladies later confided in me that she had heard him sobbing; loud, gut-wrenching, sobs."
Her face held a thousand emotions, all of which bubbled just beneath the surface, none that showed their face at that moment, but Bash could see it. The hurt, the confusion, the betrayal…25 years of it was written across her face at that very moment. Bash couldn't help but wonder, had she ever known REAL love? Did she think she could even be loved anymore? To be as fierce and loyal as a ruler she had been, can't come without its sacrifices. Bash couldn't help but wonder, if love was one of the many sacrifices she had to give over for crown and country.
"I was just as lost as anybody when I heard that information. The idea that Henry would have wept for me at any time was something I could not comprehend. I never inquired about it, I just left it to be as it was. Now that he's gone…I wish…'
She stammered now, shaking her head slightly as she tried to find the words that seemed to fail her,
'I wish I knew how he really felt about me before he died. He told me, he'd always loved me in his own way. I don't know that I believe that. I still feel emptiness when that one moment comes to my mind. Why, if he tried so hard to hate me so, did he weep when he thought I was dying?"
Bash pulled her from her thoughts, " Catherine…did you love Henry?"
She smiled at that question and drained her glass for the second time since they'd begun talking. She closed her eyes, then opened them to show small, unshed, tears as she answered,
"So much more than he ever deserved to be loved by me."
