Merlin was trying, he really was, it wasn't his fault that any loud noise caused him to startle or if anyone came too close he flinched. He was trying to avoid talking to anyone. Arthur came close causing Merlin to jerk out of the way and run off leaving a confused Arthur behind.

Pathetic.

Merlin knew that it wasn't the Knights fault that they did that to him the Lamia that enchanted them to do it but that didn't stop the pain when the words struck Merlin almost as badly as the hits when Gwen wasn't around.

Worthless.

Merlin was in the secret room in the great library books surrounding him and dust coating every available surface. This was his safety: his room to hide away in when the weight of destiny became too much. Just like now. He was done pretending he was fine as if what had happened never did, that the bruises had faded and he didn't believe the words they said.

Nothing but a servant.

The words echoed around his head the intensity getting louder with every repeat. "Stop" cried out Merlin curling into himself with his hands clamped over his ears, he pleads into the empty room.