Chapter 2—The Circle Never Ends

Take away the sensation inside

Bittersweet migraine in my head

It's like a thrumming toothache of the mind

I can't take this feeling anymore

Drain the pressure from the swelling

This sensation's overwhelming

Give me all a kiss goodnight

And everything'll be alright

Tell me that I won't feel a thing

So give me novacaine

----Give Me Novacaine, by GreenDay

"Sam, where are you going? Sam? Sam!"

Sam took no recognition of the voices behind him.

"Ellen and Bobby can yell themselves hoarse," he thought bitterly. The anti-depressants, mixed with whiskey, rum, and tequila, made him so numb he was sure he shouldn't be able to see straight. They ran fast through his system as he roared away from the Bobby's house and they made him so reckless that he didn't stop once until he was in Louisiana. He had chucked his phone out of the window because it had gotten annoying.

He found a small local joint way back in the weeds along a long stretch of gravel road. It was the kind of place only people who had grown up here would know where it was. Sam only knew because he'd been here before. Down the path, not far from the pub, was a crossroad. The pub itself was called Crossroad Blues.

"How fitting," he commented dryly to no one, as he pulled over into one of the four corners of the crossroads. He turned the engine off and got out of the Impala. In his hand was a small, beat-up, rectangular cigar box. Sam marched to the middle of the crossroads and knelt down. He dug a shallow hole in the ground and placed the box in it. He covered the hole and stood up. It was dark out, and fog drifted eerily out from the weeds.

"Well, well, well, little Sammy. We've been wondering when you'd show up," simpered a voice from behind him. Sam turned around and stared at a very attractive woman in a tight-fitting white dress.

"What, no protection?" she mocked. "No devil's trap? No silver dagger? No holy water? Not even a rosary," she continued, circling Sam like a vulture. "We are desperate, aren't we?"

"Then you know why I'm here," stated Sam icily.

"Ooo, that stings," the demon pretended to wince.

"I know you can do it," accused Sam.

"I know too, but I would so love to see you beg."

"What more do you want?" He spread his arms out wide.

"I'm looking for something more original, Sam," snapped the demon. "You should know that by now."

"Okay," replied Sam, stepping up to her. "Where do you want to do this?"

The demon laughed. "Oh, Sam! It's not a question of what I want," giggled the demon. "It's what you want."

"Fine," spat Sam. "I want Dean back," his face softened. Tears sprang to his eyes. The grief and guilt he had been trying to restrain washed over him, making him fall to his knees. He curled into a miserable ball at the crossroad demon's feet, sobbing loudly.

"Dammit," muttered the demon, "I hate it when they start bawling." She reached down and hauled Sam to his feet.

"Shape up boy, cause your brothers gonna open up a can of whoop-ass when he wakes up," she said, dusting off Sam's jacket. Sam hiccupped, looking more and more like lost puppy.

"And since I'm such a gem, I'll give you one year, the same deal Dean had," she continued. "Now, let's seal this deal before you start blubbering again." She pulled Sam to her and kissed him. Sam answered almost to eagerly.

"Woah tiger," joked the demon. She gave him a gentle push. "Go, wherever that may be." With a snap of her fingers, she disappeared into the fog. Sam walked slowly back to the Impala.

"Dean's going to kill me," he thought as he started her up and made the gravel fly.


Dean's eyes flew open. He frowned up at the cracked ceiling above him and winced when the bed he was laying on creaked underneath him when he sat up. Last time he had checked, this wasn't what Hell looked like. Something clunked somewhere. Dean jumped up at the sound. He doubled over when his muscles seized up.

Straightening up, Dean crept to the door. He opened it just enough to barely squeeze through, then shut it just as quietly. Feeling very foolish, Dean slinked slowly down the hallway and down some stairs. He stopped when he got to the corner and glanced around it. He snapped back and closed his eyes. Bobby was sitting at a table drinking a beer while Ellen cooked something behind him.

"What kind of Hell is this?" he thought. Glancing back around the corner, Dean made an impulsive decision. He jumped out from behind the corner. Bobby looked up as his boots made a loud thump on the old wooden floor. Ellen dropped what she was holding. Her mouth moved soundlessly at him as he stood in the entryway, not moving.

It happened fast, but it seemed like everything was moving in slow motion. Bobby leapt from his chair, knocking over the bottle and the chair with loud, ear-shattering crashes. Dean barely had time to react as he was slammed against the wall and a white-hot pain erupted in his shoulder. Dean cried out and tried to shove Bobby away.

"Bobby," he gasped, "it's me."

"You son-of-a-bitch, you can't hide for long," Bobby looked like a lunatic. "Isn't it bad enough that Sam's already tore up, but you demons can't leave the boys alone!"

"Bobby," Dean's head thumped against the wall as Bobby put pressure on the knife. "Bobby," he was nearly crying now. "Please, Bobby, please. It really is me, Dean."

"Bobby, stop it!" Ellen forced her way in between the two of them. Bobby still looked crazy, but he didn't try to continue his torture of Dean when Ellen pulled him away. Dean tried to move away from them, but found he was pinned to the wall by the knife.

"It's him, Bobby, it's really him," Ellen looked at Dean, at the blood that poured down from his shoulder. Bobby seemed to freeze, then his face crumpled.

"Dean!" He cried as he hugged Dean. Ellen was squashed between them, but she didn't seem to mind. Dean grunted as they both bumped the knife handle.

"Um, yeah, I'd join in the group hug, but I'm kind of pinned right now," he gasped as fresh blood escaped.

"Oh, uh, sorry about that," Bobby let go and gently moved Ellen over to the side. He placed one hand on Dean's chest, the other gripped the knife.

"One, two, three," with a grunt, Bobby tugged the knife free. Dean doubled over for the second time that day, this time holding his hurt shoulder.

"Sorry, Dean, I had to make sure," apologized Bobby.

"No harm, no foul," Dean answered sarcastically.

"Let's get you cleaned up," said Ellen, righting Dean and helping him to the kitchen.

"Who did it?" he asked as Ellen began to busy herself with his shoulder. "Since I already know it wasn't you two." He winced as Ellen jostled his arm.

"Sam," Bobby practically spat the name.

"No," said Dean, shaking his head. "No, Sam knows what could happen. No, no, Sam would not do that."

"Dean, the only other people who know you are dead is Jo and Ruby. And neither of them would do such a thing," said Ellen.

"How do you know that? How do you know that they didn't bring me back?" accused Dean.

"Because, asshole, we were both sitting in the living room when you decided to surprise us with your walking carcass," Ruby stood in the doorway. "Sam's the only one who could have done it, and believe me, I sure as hell was not going to do anything about you, except maybe come to your funeral."

"You're a real pal," Dean said acerbically. He ignored her and asked Bobby, "So where is Sam?"

"Don't know," said Bobby, scratching his neck. "Boy dropped you off, grabbed some liquor and lit outta here so fast I swear I could see smoke coming out from under those tires."

"He took the Impala!"

"Yep."

"That's another thing I'm going to kill him for," Dean stood up. Ellen backed off.

"You may not have to, Dean," said Bobby calmly, standing up as well. "To bring someone back from the dead means you gotta trade one soul for another. Sam could already be an empty corpse by now."

Dean was still seething. "Well hell, let's go find him!"

"Boy, use your head! The last thing Sam wants us to do is find him. He ain't gonna be hanging around someplace that we know of!"

"So what do we do? Just sit here and twiddle our thumbs and wait for the police to call? No fucking way!" Dean pushed past Bobby but only found Ruby standing in his way.

"Outta my way, bitch," he growled. Ruby frowned.

"You know, you're not very smart," she said. "Me being a demon and all."

"What are you getting at?" Dean spat at her.

"I'm just saying, I could easily find out where Sammy is and report back here faster than you can."

Dean hesitated. "Why haven't you?"

"Because," said Ruby, exasperated, "until very recently, you were dead and I was trying to find out ways to keep some real nasty bitches from inhabiting your cadaver. I didn't even know Sam was gone until a few minutes ago when you started yelling!"

Dean stared at her. Ruby glowered angrily back.

"Will you?" Dean sounded like he was pleading.

"Oh god! Do not start begging," said Ruby throwing her hands up. "That is the worst thing you could do! And yeah, sure, I'll find him." Ruby turned around and walked out of the front door.

"Should we trust her?" Ellen asked.

"She's all we got," replied Dean, still gazing at the open front door.


Sam slammed the brakes and almost got whiplash. He stared out of the windshield, not believing what he was seeing.

"Boy, are you in trouble," said Ruby, her arms folded in a defiant way as she stood in the middle of the road.

"How'd you…what are…what's going on?" he stammered as she walked around the Impala and got in.

"I'll tell you what's going on!" Ruby slapped him. "Get ready to get your ass beat, cause you are not going to be able to stand when all three get through with you!"

Sam cowered away from Ruby. Her fury seethed out of her and pooled around them as she glared at Sam.

"Are you an idiot?!" she yelled. "Are you crazy?! What the fuck were you thinking?! Making a fucking Deal like that!"

"I…I…I couldn't leave Dean dead," Sam was sobbing now.

"You did when he first died!"

Sam buried his face in his arm. He didn't feel the sting where Ruby had hit him. How could he, when he knew worse was waiting for him when he got back.

"You're just pathetic!" Ruby continued. "All you Winchesters are! First your dad, then Dean, and now you!"

"I tried the first time," whispered Sam. Ruby paused when she heard his words. Sam rushed on, "I tried to bring Dean back. Tried to switch places. But I couldn't."

Ruby shook her head. "And the circle never ends."