Pottage

Based off of two random names (Tsunade and Pakkun) and one random word from the dictionary (Pottage)

Pakkun's been acting strange, but Kakashi can't take care of him. The Inuzuka clan is unavailable or unwilling. His only option left is Tsunade…What does she think Pakkun needs to get better? Maybe he was better off going on that mission with Kakashi…


The small dog struggled against his master's arms wrapped tightly around his middle. Kakashi refused to let him go, but rather would manipulate his arms into a more secure place around Pakkun if he managed to slip out of the first.

"Kakashi, why do you have to take me to her?" He complained. "I told you, I'm not sick!" The masked ninja looked down at him reprovingly.

"We've gone over this, Pakkun," he stated calmly, though the pug kept struggling. "You've had that nasty cough, you've been sneezing, and you threw up after our morning walk."

"It was a long walk and I had just eaten breakfast!"

"Three times in a row," Kakashi finished. "That's not normal, so we're going to see her to see if there is in fact something wrong with you and what you need to do to get better."

Pakkun grumbled, straining against Kakashi's forearms, unable to free his small body. What was worse was that Kakashi was running through the streets of Konoha, rather than on the rooftops, displaying his antics for the whole village to see.

Groaning at the humiliation of it all, he finally settled down in his master's arms, begrudgingly. Kakashi let out a chuckle before picking up his pace a bit more to the hospital.

Finally, Pakkun thought when they reached the fenced-in building. Kakashi politely asked the attendant at the main desk if Tsunade was there. When she informed him that she was, he asked if he could see her.

A few messengers and messages later, Kakashi was sent into the west wing on the left side of the courtyard, room W25. When he reached the room and knocked gently, Pakkun attempted one last time to escape his master.

He slipped out almost entirely before Kakashi noticed and clung to what little of the pug he had left—his hind paws. The dog squealed as his entire body hung from Kakashi's fingers.

"What is it?" A voice growled as the door flew open revealing the comical sight. Awkward silence ensued. Kakashi gathered up his dog and smiled sheepishly at Lady Tsunade.

"Sorry about that," he said. "He hates visiting doctors." She quirked a brow at them.

"You do realize that this is a hospital for humans? This is Hana Inuzuka's area of expertise, not mine." Kakashi winced, looking down at his ninja hound.

"Right…well, you see, Hana is out on a mission, her mother wouldn't help and Kiba didn't know what to do about him." He shrugged apologetically. Tsunade's countenance relaxed.

"Oh, well then come on in, I suppose." She held the door open for the Copy Ninja and closed the door after him.

"So, what are the symptoms?"

"Coughing, sneezing, and retching." The blond woman had Kakashi set Pakkun on the examination table and began looking him over.

"Did they just start this morning?"

"Yes."

"What did he eat this morning?"

"The usual; a bowl of dog food."

"Dry or wet?"

"Dry."

"Did you go on a mission or a long walk this morning?"

"Yes, a long walk."

"Hm…I see." She carefully removed Pakkun's blue vest and felt his lungs and had him breathe in deeply a few times. They always ended in a raspy cough.

"Just as I thought," she calmly observed. "You have ¹kennel cough, Pakkun!"

"What?" The dog shouted. "No! I can't! That means I'll miss out on the mission–"

"Mission?" Tsunade interrupted. "What mission?"

Kakashi rubbed the back of his head.

"Yeah, that's the thing…I have to leave for a mission with my dogs at 0900. I can't take care of Pakkun while I'm away. Would you...?" He trailed off. He was afraid of the Hokage's wrath, not wanting to say it out loud. Thankfully, she didn't seem inclined to be so.

"I see. Well, it's all for the best. Pakkun needs to be quarantined and put on antibiotics. Also, his diet will need to be changed so as to allay the throwing up until he's better. It's better if he's here than with the other dogs."

As she said this, she went to a cupboard and pulled out various pills and capsules. Deciding on one, she went over to Pakkun and shoved it down his throat, holding his muzzle shut to prevent any upheaval. Pakkun's eyes bulged as he attempted to spit the offending thing out. "Kennel cough is highly contagious so keep an eye on the others for similar symptoms."

Finally, it seemed he swallowed it since he stopped fighting against the woman and his eyes looked a little glazed. Sighing contentedly, she let him go. As soon as she did, his little pink tongue came peeping out and with it a small white capsule, coated in saliva. Kakashi paled and Tsunade's face reddened. It seemed all his blood went into her.

"Why, you little!" She roared.

"I'll be leaving you to it, then." Kakashi saluted before flash-stepping out of there.

"What is that?" Pakkun asked, wary of what was being presented to him. It couldn't be food. There could be no creature ever created that could consume such a disgusting substance and live! …Could there?

There could.

"Pottage," Tsunade stated simply. "Since you've been throwing up, you need to be on a bland diet." Her back was turned as she put the ingredients of the concoction away.

"Define bland diet," he told her, pushing his food away with one delicately pink paw. Little did he know that the blond was sneaking behind him. Then she pounced.

He yelped as she tucked him under one arm. She grabbed a spoonful of the stuff and crammed it into his mouth, holding shut his muzzle once again. He whined and whimpered as he tried not to swallow the food.

Ugh, this stuff tastes awful! He thought. But if I don't swallow it, it'll just wallow in my mouth. Oh, this is so gross… The small dog, in one giant gulp, swallowed the pottage.

"There! Now was that so hard?" She asked triumphantly. Cleaning things up, she shoved the bowl once more into Pakkun's face.

"You have no idea…" he muttered darkly. With a painful grimace, he took a small mouthful. He shivered as it slid down his throat. Soon enough, the pottage was gone.

"What's in that stuff?" He demanded. Tsunade, washing her hands in the sink, looked to the ceiling in thought.

"Hm… Rice, broccoli stalks and asparagus spears." His eyes practically came out of his head.

"Broccoli and asparagus spears?" He squeaked out. "You know a dog's diet consists mainly of meat and occasionally rice, right?"

"Wrong!" Tsunade declared cheerfully, her forefinger extended toward the sky. "Only 55% of a dog's diet needs to be meat. The other 45% should be grains, fruits and vegetables, that is, a completely healthy diet consist of such. Vegetables boost the immune system so you're going to eat lots of that until Kakashi gets back." Looking down at his empty bowl, she smirked.

"And seeing as how you've finished your first bowl so quickly, why not eat a couple more!" He backed away from the shadowed figure approaching him with more of the awful goop.

"More?" He panicked as she picked him up and crammed more into his muzzle, force feeding him. Once three more bowls were empty, she let him down, content.

Pakkun grumbled in defeat, lying down on the bed assigned to him. It painfully reminded him of Kakashi's bed, being so obviously made for a human. It reminded him of the nights when a big lightning storm would roll in and all the dogs would pile into bed with the masked ninja.

He closed his eyes and pictured the warmth and comfort of his brothers lying beside him with a loving hand not too far away, always ready to scratch an ear or two. Right as he was about to doze off, that woman's loud voice broke through his sub-conscious.

"Right! I'll be heading out now. You just get some rest. I'll have Sakura check in on you now and then since I've got some things to do. Remember to eat whatever she gives you, got it?"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it," he grunted from behind his paws. As soon as he heard the clicking

of her heels fade down the halls, he muttered insults at her.

"Stupid woman…wouldn't know the smell of a ²vagrant from her own…can't even cook…how'd she become Hokage?" Pakkun sighed. A scented breeze rolled in through the open window, the thin curtains fluttering with it. His inhaled deeply, enjoying the herbal scent.

"Maybe this won't be so bad…" he said. And that's what he thought.

Until the nurses passed by his door.

"Oh. My! Goodness. Gracious!" The young blond was obnoxiously chewing her gum. The raven-haired girl next to her cooed at him.

"He's soooo cuute, Aya!" She screeched. Aya scooped him up and clutched him to her…well-endowed chest.

"Oh! Poor. Wittdle. Puppy! You sick, huh?" She aggressively stroked his head whilst the other tugged on his ears painfully. He considered talking, telling them to back off, but then they might become all the more enthralled with him.

Send someone to save me, he silently prayed. Please, save me from this abuse. God saw fit to answer his prayer with a yes.

"Aya! Miki! What are you two doing here when you're on duty?" A stern voice demanded. Aya dropped him like a hot coal and turned to attention with the raven-haired girl. Thankfully, he landed on the white hospital bed, though he wrinkled up the sheets a little bit. Peering between the immature girls, he caught a glimpse of pink hair.

Sakura… he thought gratefully.

"Miss Haruno!" They seemed frightened by her appearance. Pakkun smirked to himself.

"I won't ask again." She walked forward threateningly.

"W-we were, uh…" Aya seemed at a loss.

"We were just walking to our posts when we saw this puppy and he looked like he was going to throw up and since we don't see puppies here that often…uh…" Sakura nodded and dismissed them with a wave of her hand.

"I'll take it over from here. Go to your posts."

"Yes, Miss Haruno!" They said simultaneously before running out and down the halls. Sakura walked up to Pakkun and began smoothing his ruffled fur.

"Hey, Pakkun," she greeted with a smile. "What are you doing here? Didn't Kakashi just go out on a mission?" He relished in her touch, arching his back before answering. Besides Kakashi's, Pakkun only enjoyed Sakura's touch out of all the humans of his acquaintance.

"Tsunade says I have Kennel Cough, but I have to be quarantined so Kakashi left me here. Thanks, by the way." She sat down, the bed dipping under her weight and began massaging his ears gently.

"No problem," she said with a chuckle. "Those girls aren't going to make it as medics. They have such short attention spans."

"You got that right," he grumbled in his throat.

"So what is Lady Tsunade putting you on?" She inquired.

"I don't know about the medicine, but she's feeding me this awful pottage stuff. It tastes worse than when Kakashi had us try his cooking back in the day." Sakura laughed at the reference of Kakashi in his younger days.

"What were your symptoms?"

"Coughing, sneezing and retching. I told Kakashi it was just my allergies. I always get that way this time of year, but he wouldn't listen." Sakura nodded thoughtfully.

"Yes, that would do that…what did you eat yesterday?" Pakkun wrinkled his brow in thought.

"Well, Kakashi said it was my normal food, but it tasted kind of funny. It was softer than usual…and it smelled funny." Sakura raised an eyebrow before running a glowing hand over his small body a few times.

"What are you doing?" He asked nervously.

"I'm scanning your system, give me a second." Pakkun settled down in her lap. Her stroking was slow and methodical, soothing him into sleep. He didn't notice she'd put him down until she came back from doing some sort of test. She held something out in front of his nose.

"Is this what it smelled like?" He lifted his head and sniffed deeply. It was a rich, intoxicating scent, full of sugar and…cocoa?

"Yeah, that's it. What is that?" He opened his eyes to see an opened bar of candy. She began snickering as she fell down beside him, laughing. Pakkun frowned and crawled over to hover above her face.

"What's so funny? What is that stuff? Did it do something to me?" Tears were streaming from Sakura's eyes now, but she seemed to be calming down.

"Oh my…" she said wiping the tears away. "Pakkun, did Naruto go anywhere near your bowl when we visited last night?"

"Yeah," he answered hesitantly. "What does that–" His eyes widened as he remembered the crazy blonde munching on his chocolate bar loudly talking to Kakashi, bits and pieces of the poisonous substance flying from his mouth as he spoke, landing in…his bowl.

"You mean…" he trailed off, horrified. The pink-headed girl nodded.

"Yup! ³You ate chocolate! Being a ninja dog, though, you've got a gut of iron so you didn't suffer from the normal symptoms dogs usual get when they've eaten chocolate." Pakkun sighed, lying down against Sakura's side.

"Well, I guess that's a relief. I'm not sick then." Sakura smiled and scratched his ears humming to herself, enjoying the few moments she had for her break. Suddenly Pakkun leapt to his feet.

"Wait a minute! You mean I had to eat the disgusting, revolting pottage for nothing?"


¹Kennel Cough - Kennel cough is a highly contagious canine illness characterized by inflammation of the upper respiratory system. Symptoms can include a harsh, dry hacking/coughing, retching, sneezing, snorting, gagging or vomiting in response to light pressing of the trachea or after excitement or exercise.

²Vagrant - A person who wanders about idly and has no permanent home or employment; vagabond; tramp.

³You ate chocolate! – Normally when a dog eats chocolate, the signs are: "The central nervous system is affected (may cause your dog to tilt his head or bob, walk backwards or to the side almost as if he's drunk) and the heart muscle ( heavy panting, wide eyes and whining like he just finished chasing a cat; heart attack)." But if the dog isn't showing these signs: "If your dog isn't displaying signs of symptoms, the fat content may cause nausea or diarrhea. If this happens, watch him carefully. If his symptoms don't clear up within eight hours, call your veterinarian." Kakashi of course, noticed right away (Pakkun didn't eat the chocolate til the next morning)

Pottage is a thick soup or stew made by boiling vegetables, grains, and/or occasionally meat or fish. Obviously a bland diet wouldn't have meat with it, thus Pakkun's torment. ;)

A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed it! Again, just review and give me a request and I'll do my best to write it for you. :) I look forward to see what you guys come up with!

In Christ,

~Timber Wolf