This is the first Chapter, I have always wanted to something unique and have my chapter listed as songs, sort of to reflect the mood in a way. (I do hope no one takes my idea.) Once again comments are so very much welcomed, I am hoping to see a few in the coming days. Thank you for reading and enjoy!

Track One: Beginning of the End by Spineshank

I couldn't remember how long we had be driving, and frankly I believed we were lost. But a few minutes after my father complained that we were running low on gas. We climbed up a hill and saw our destination. "There it is our new home," my mother said in a relieved voice. As far as I was concerned I had no home, I didn't even have a life. I am not one to complain but those two must have dreaded my birth cause I have paid for it ever since. They have always made the comment that they wanted a daughter. If being a girl would make them love me, I would gladly accept a gender switch.

I sighed, but couldn't help but have an eye to the horizon. This was a new place, it was out in the middle of absolutely nowhere but a change of scenery was in order. We had lived in the middle of a desert where we saw more dead wood than living people. Maybe that is an exaggeration but it usually only rained enough at any time to look wet. The rainwater couldn't even soak into the ground it was so arid. I love rain, I love trees and this view told me that it rained here, like there was a broken faucet over this area. If it was at all possible I could find a friend or two, and get a girl to like me. What a pipe dream that was, I hadn't ever even kissed a girl. I can picture a horde of them laughing at my failing attempt to talk without stuttering to the ugliest duckling this side of the Mississippi. Socializing is a gift given to some but in my case God must have been drunk when he threw me together. No I don't consider myself ugly physically. But when you live with negative people, being my parents you sort of are shaped awkwardly by it.

Coming down the hill the town disappeared behind a sea of trees and after sometime a sign appeared. It was green with white writing that read Paracrisis population 11,864. Well at least there was a good collection of people living out here in nowhere U.S.A, I considered the possibility my parents were driving me out somewhere to leave me, or off me. But that couldn't ever happen, that would be a selfless act on their part. A lot of people think death is the ultimate punishment, I disagree one hundred and ten percent. "Ashley I was beginning to think we would have to use you to push us the rest of the way into town, it looks like you lucked out today." My father said looking at me through the overhanging mirror which he used to spy on me with. Did I mention my parent's wanted a girl, and allow me to clarify that he never used that mirror for its actual intended job. No in his eyes that mirror was put there for the sole purpose of watching me. You get used to that and the bullying that everyone does whenever they realize that your actual first name is a girl's name. I prefer Ashley over my middle name any day though.

What is strange is I have no real desire to ever change it. Because it makes me unique in a way, I like to think I am special in at least some way, it keeps me from wanting to prematurely die from any number of self-inflicting proven ways. We entered the city limits and the town seemed more or less the same as anywhere else. But for a population of this size I saw nothing along the lines of chain fast food or stores that suggested this town was mediocre. I sat there as we drove around wondering why that was. Every town before this had at least a McDonald's. I'm sorry but McDonalds would build a store in a graveyard if the dead could come back to life and had money.

My parents are preoccupied talking to themselves about how beautiful this place is and I won't disagree. This place had a sight that even a blind man could see. But to actually enjoy this I would first have to get away from these two. Smiling was a privilege only my parents were allowed to have. I am surprised my father didn't stop the car and smack me around for not replying to his earlier statement about me becoming the car engine after we ran out of gas. Maybe the sadistic fuck was actually as sick and tired of being in the vehicle as much as I was sick in tired of being a part of this twisted family.

Later he would exercise his god given right to make my life a living hell. My mother would join in on the fun and then they'd go and fuck. That is just how they operate, and the crazy part is I am still sane after 17 years of this crap. At least they love each other….I think. We arrived at our new home. It was nice, my parents had money, but I'd have to earn my way into that house even if it had seven rooms and no yard. The color looked faded in some places, the shingles looked like they need replaced. But the 2 story house was pretty, a lot better than the trailer house we lived in until I hit a decade.

The day was early, it wasn't even noon yet as I stepped out of our "family"{ vehicle. The rest of our furniture would arrive soon. In the meantime I would be expected to carry everything we did bring inside without being told. Following behind me was my father keys in hand. Taking off the lock to the moving trailer door he pushed it open and left without so much as a word. At least he didn't give me a deadline. I stared at the horde of things we had and dreaded the next several hours. My parents went inside to go whatever it is they do in an empty house and I began the long process of pulling out boxes being careful not to let anything fall. The end result should something break would be hazardous to my health.

After about an hour of working I took a brief pause and pretended to be retying my shoes. In truth I was winded and I couldn't stand around with my arms above my head or my hands on my knees. I took much longer to tie them of course and happened to look up. I came face to face with a small girl who couldn't have been over the age of ten. I fell back on my ass as the girl was no more than 2 feet away from me and I hadn't even the slightest clue someone had taken notice let alone approached me from the side. "Christ, hello? You scared me," The look on the girl's face seemed to be made of stone. She didn't reply and her expression didn't change as her glare passed straight through me. "Hi?" I replied and turned to look over my shoulder my parents were not watching from the windows so maybe they were preoccupied that was good. I turned back around and the girl was walking away now. I looked up to see an adult with his arms folded to his chest glaring at me with the same expression as the girl.

Waving I received no reaction and the two went into the house directly infront of ours. I pushed a lock of hair out of my face and rubbed the back of my neck. Did they not like newcomers? I tried to shrug off the feeling of being unwelcomed. The father I could understand, but the girl? Children are usually overly friendly not cold. I resumed my work; I had wasted enough time and couldn't afford to keep pushing my luck. A few more hours pasted by before I saw my any sign of my parents. I had just got done lifting his reclining chair out of the trailer and sat it down only to look up and see him in one of the windows. He gestured to come inside. But I knew better, he wanted me to bring in his recliner. I paused for a moment before grabbing ahold of the dark red lazy boy and made my way up to the front door. He met me there and opened it, holding open the screen door to allow me get inside.

"Through here," he said as he pasted me heading into a fairly large living room. The inside of the house was nice for smelling of dust and old air. Holding the chair awkwardly I managed to get into the living room and get it sat down without being yelled at. I shifted it around as instructed and was outside away from him with no physical pain or cussing involved. Apparently I was doing a good enough job at the moment and I wasn't about to start slacking. "Hey!" I turned around and instinctively caught the bottle of water that my father threw to me from the doorway.

They must have taken in the water from the truck when they went inside. The door closed and I took off the cap not caring how warm the contents would be. Draining the bottle was quick, and my body was thankful. I was thankful that he had noticed, he sometimes is odd like that. I finished getting everything out of the trailer and was in a hurry to get everything inside by evening. Being as I loved rain I could look at clouds and be able to tell if storms would be forming soon. I couldn't have our stuff getting soaked. "First day here and it is going to rain I love it." I said as I carried a full load of boxes into the house. My mom was having me stacking them in the kitchen to be sorted out later.

I finished about 30 minutes before the first rain drops began to fall and my parents decided that they were going to go out to eat. I on the other hand was told to cook something up and watch over the house just in case anyone felt like stealing all our stuff. They learn their lesson the first time we moved. I don't blame them. I didn't want to go anyways, it was about to storm and I would be able to eat whatever I fixed. I found it amusing though they leave me behind thinking that I actually want to go. They are sadly mistaken but I have to play the act, otherwise they may get smart. I unpacked our microwave and pulled out some ramen noodles. This was about the only food I was allowed to eat without having to ask. It was cheap so they bought in bulk.

While I waited for my dinner that was when the first drops of rain began to fall. Within an empty house the softest drops were audible. Smiling I went to one of the windows and took in the exhilarating sight before me. The emotion sent chills down my body, I could get used to this place like this. It was nearly dark out and I wanted to be able to enjoy this first rain so I was quick to eat and get outside. It was during my rabid eating frenzy that the first sounds of thunder joined the symphony playing in my ears. I wasted no time after I finished eating my bowl of ramen and I was outside, feeling the rain against my face. Of course the rain wasn't just hitting my face, but at that moment that was all I could feel. It was cold and the wind was chilly but I didn't care. The soreness and the tiredness of being a slave fell off my shoulders in an instant. I took off into the night, sprinting down the street and having not destination set in my head.

It wasn't long before lightning tore up the sky, the sight was beautiful. The image was nearly the same everytime. But what occurred next wasn't, the thunder came and every street light I could see flickered. It caused me to slow to a stop and eye the street light almost directly above me. I turned my head to look down the way I came. Every light was still on, but what I had just seen was odd. Panting slightly I wait patiently for the next lightning strike. When it did I watched for what I had seen just seconds before. Sure enough a softer rumble came and the streetlights flickered but not as strongly.

"What the?" I mouthed, as I started to jog again. It was almost spooky I hadn't seen anything like it before. After a few more blocks I stopped and began to head back the way I came. I didn't turn down any street so I was still on the same one my house was, so getting lost wouldn't be an issue. I was walking back now and it occurred to me that the whole time I had been jogging I hadn't seen a single vehicle. Who knows where this town got its electricity, maybe there was a stronger storm somewhere else messing with the energy grid causing what I had been seeing. But as another round of thunder came through, I watched as the inside lights of a house didn't flicker, not even a hiccup and out of the corner of my eye I could still see a streetlight struggle to stay functioning. That wasn't normal, street lights and house lights usual are not separate and I had seen nothing different in the way this town ran its electricity.

What I was witnessing made me feel out of place and more than a little creeped out. I jogged the rest of the way home and stood outside to watch to see if my house would do the same thing. I hadn't been gone long and as I had guessed they weren't back from their date. Sure enough the light working in the living room did not react yet every light up and down the street fought their battle. It wasn't just this street either, I had paid attention and this bugged me. I went inside soon after to pull off my drenched clothing, I'd start to shiver soon if I didn't I went into what would be my room, and grabbed my second hand suitcase. A few minutes later I was in redressed was looking out my window watching for more of the unexplainable streetlight malfunction. After about 15 minutes of it I had seen enough and I put my back against the wall. After a few motionless minutes my body was begging for rest. I stretched out on the floor and let my mind slip from reality.