Chapter 2 – The Definition of Love

Laura wiped the tears away as she hugged the dictionary to her chest.

She read the 3rd definition of Bill's word over and over.

3. To feel deep infatuation or adoration towards someone slightly out of ones reach.

"Oh Bill" she said aloud. "You're always so subtle, yet so direct."

Over the past few months they had become quite brazen with each other. While always careful not to cross that proverbial line, they had begun to spend all their spare time together. Sometimes it felt like they were an old married couple, while other times they flirted shamelessly like a couple of teenagers.

It felt odd to be sitting there without him. As she closed her eyes she could hear his voice "You're always welcome in one of my beds". She smiled at the memory of that day and the sweet smile he had flashed when he'd said it.

Feeling a sudden chill she got up and went to his closet. The smell of him engulfed her when she opened the door to search for something to wear. She flipped through some items until she found a sweater tucked away in the bottom corner. "Funny. " She thought. "Don't think I've ever seen him wear this….. as a matter of fact, I can't recall many times where I've seen him in anything but his uniform"

On her way back to the couch she stopped off at the service cart to get a drink. She poured herself two fingers of Tyrol's finest brew and started to make her way back to her spot. She stopped half way, went back, and grabbed the whole bottle.

As Laura sat in his quarters she couldn't help but wonder how Bill Adama had managed to capture her heart. Her past had seen her in several relationships, had perhaps a few too many lovers, and had enjoyed encounters that didn't quite fit into either of the other two categories.

In retrospect she had to admit that she hadn't truly loved any of them. She had cared about some of the men in her life, perhaps believed she loved them at the time, but back then she didn't know what love was.

As she settled into the couch she couldn't help but wonder how wearing someone else's clothes could bring such comfort. The sweater literally floated on her. The shoulders nearly half way down her arms, the sleeves 4 inches too long, and it hung nearly mid thigh. She had never thought one could feel embraced by a garment until that moment.

She winced when the amber liquid assaulted her throat as she stifled a small cough. The stuff wasn't half bad after the first few gulps. She wasn't sure if that had to do with taste buds adjusting to the harshness, or the fact that it was 90-proof.

Laura closed her eyes and could see the image of Bill in SickBay. "Gods" she thought. "Please don't take him from me…. please"

The irony of her situation was not lost on her. She had spent the better part of her life avoiding love. There is a vast difference between having sex and being intimate with someone. While the act itself can be quite similar the associated costs are immensely different. Intimacy can also be achieved without even touching. She came to realize in that moment that she and Bill had been in an intimate relationship for quite some time. While they had never shared more than a chaste kiss between friends she had shown more to him than any other man in her lifetime. He was her best friend, he was her confidant, and he was her anchor.

Laura had always thought that love was for fools. Love only served to cloud your judgment and impair your vision. If one wanted to achieve their goals they could not afford such a distraction.

As Laura contemplated their situation she couldn't help but question how Bill Adama had managed to sneak in the back door. Had she subconsciously allowed it to happen? Was it because she knew they could never be? Was it somehow safer for her to love him because she knew their positions and circumstances would never allow things to get out of hand?

She chuffed at this thought for at that very moment she couldn't imagine how things could get more out of hand. She was staring down the possibility of losing him and it terrified her more than the concept of love itself. Why had she always resented love? Was it because she thought it would make her weak? Was it the vulnerability that scared her? Either way it was too late for her now, for she had never felt more weak or vulnerable in her life as the only cure for her ailments laid in SickBay fighting for his.

Wow she thought. It only took the near end of humanity, years of running from killer machines, a near death experience and a bottle of moonshine for you to find love. As she looked down at the book in her lap a tear fell on the page before her. She quickly flipped through the pages to find another word. She blinked several times in an effort to make out the definition.

LOVE: [luhv]

1. William Adama