A/N: So this has been a crazy experiment gone horribly right. My random ramblings turned into chapters. Much awesome, so power.

Disclaimer: This is my craziness inside my own head so I ain't gotta disclaim anything! Well, except everything. Amd therein lies my crazy.


We continue our story in no particular order as there is no linear plot. Currently our favorite fox finds himself in battle against a truly formidable foe. One that strikes fear into the hearts of tigers and rodents alike. The dreaded 'un-evolved horse (because let's face it the player needs something to ride to get places and a horse is fast so they didn't evolve since it's convenient) that gets accidentally hit and turned enemy.'

Nick dodged a particularly powerful stomp by the horse's large hoof. To someone bigger, like a cape buffalo, "Buffalo butt," Nick snickered, it would be a minor injury. Nick would surely be killed by the crushing blow.

Thankfully the vulpine warrior was armed and dangerous. Quickly pulling out his mighty bow h- "Uh, hold on. Where is this 'bow' supposed to be?" The world around him paused for the moment while a large glowing sign popped up, the 'inventory' tab highlighted. Cocking his head to the side, Nick raised his iron gloved paw because he was too lazy to take off and replace his armor and tapped the tab.

Halfway down the list was a rusty bow. Raising a brow, Nick tapped it. His sword disappeared from his paw and the bow took it's place. "This is some crazy bullshit magic type thing here." Closing out the window, Nick went to pull the string while grabbing an arrow from his quiver only to find no quiver and no arrows. "Aw crap." Quickly bringing the menu back up he selected the stack of iron arrows he had obtained and slung them on his back.

This time when he reached back, he found several hundred arrows jammed into his quiver. It was almost too difficult to pull a single arrow without others surging out as well. Having never used a bow before in his life, something he really should have gone through the tunnel for since it gives you a chance to practice, "Hey!" Nick was finding the process rather difficult. He had failed to get his first shot on target and had needed to roll in order to avoid the powerful kick from the horse.

"Now you're gonna get it," the fox cried out. Reaching over his back he fumbled for an arrow only to not find any. "What the-." Glancing around, he saw a very large pile of them a few feet away. They had all fallen out during his rol- "Yeah I got it. Thanks," he said in an unnecessary hostile tone.

Diving for the collection of arrows, Nick grabbed several pawfuls and threw them at the horse. Out of the forty seven sharp sticks to hit the horse, forty six caused tiny scratches that did nothing more that irritate the mammal. The last one became stuck in midair, hanging as if it had hit an invisible target. Nick scratched his head, unsure of what had just happened.

Out of options with his ammo scattered around on the ground and his sword back in his inventory, he did the only thing he could think of and collapsed to the ground, rolling up into a ball to protect himself. It would normally be suicide with the horse being so much larger and heavier than the fox, but the second he had dropped all his weapons and curled up, the horse suddenly became passive and began walking away.

Nick was confused. "I am confused," he said. "Why did it stop?" He was only now beginning to understand that surrender worked not just with the guards but also other animals, as long as those animals were horses. Considering he had lived all his life in Tamil, the fact that he did not know these things was strange but then again that was Nick.

Picking up his weapons, the tod put his arrows back in the quiver. At first it was several at a time but eventually, like putting pencils in a cup, each one had to be jammed into place. There was still a few left over so he stuck them in his back pocket for safe keeping. "That will keep em sa- hey wait a minute! I would never stick sharp arrowheads into my pocket!" Nick started to take them out when he changed his mind and put them back in with a happy smile. He did not know that a scene further ahead would require the arrows to be in his back pocket.

Dusting off his pants, Nick resumed his trek up the winding dirt road headed for places unknown. "Unknown? I'm not going to somewhere unknown. I'm going to Chorrol." He had planned to go straight to the big city but an undeniable urge had him leaving the path and straying into the woods.

Pushing through the tree limbs blocking his sight, Nick's eyes landed upon a small cave set in-between two large boulders. He knew it was a cave because there was a wooden door set over the entrance and since something usually is behind a door it must be a cave. The thrill of adventure flowed int- "Uhh, I really don't want to go in there." The lure of the unknown pulled at the t- "No, I really, really don't want to go in there. I have no idea what's in there. I'm just gonna name it 'Nonwyll Cavern and get the heck outta here." As the name became clear on the map, Nick suddenly felt an urge to approach th- "Alright stop it! I'm not going in. That's final."

So Nick went traipsing along like a boring old fo- "Don't say it. I will crawl out of that save menu so fast you won't even know." Bo- "I mean it!"

…All of a sudden, two wolves appeared from the brush. "Oh screw you."

Clad in armor and carrying large swords nearly the entire length of Nick's body, they came to a stop in front of the vulpine and stared down at him. "Hi. I'm Gary. And this is Larry." Larry raised a paw and waved in greeting. "We're here to rob you now. Do you have a hundred gold you can give us?"

"A hundred gold? That's highway robbery!" The two wolves scratched their heads because that's exactly what it was. A highway robbery.

However, before the two bandits could dispatch what they figured must be a slow and annoying fox and loot his corpse, a group of goblins, attracted by the sound of the fight with the horse, charged into the fray.

"Larry! Form up! We'll need to fight our way out of this. Fox, join us in battle and split the spoils with us. Shed the blood of these mon-…" Gary's voice trailed off as he turned towards the tod only to find a cloud of dust in place of where he had just stood. "-sters…fox?"

Nick was halfway up the hill when he heard a scream. He chanced a look back in time to see the two wolves become buried by a large group of hideous and distorted goblins. "Well, sucks to be them I guess." Pulling out his map, Nick made an 'X' mark and wrote 'goblins here. Two dead guys too. Loot and run.'

Continuing on, he found himself feeling horribly guilty for having left th- "Uh, no? Those guys wanted to kill me." Feeling slightly- "Yeah, still no."

A sudden shaking of the ground beneath him- "Are you serious? So every time I don't agree with you you're gonna sic bandits and monsters on me? This isn't going to turn into a healthy relationship."

After some consideration the ground stopped shaking as the unseen danger vanished. "That's more like it." Instead, the rattle of a thousand skeletons with bows and swords could be heard coming up the road, headed straight for the fox. "WHAT?!" Nick cried out. His smug arrogant smirk disappeared as he blanched. "Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. Do you want me to feel bad for the wolves? I can do that! Caves? The more the merrier!" His pleading led to nothing as the army of the dead grew closer.

"Oh crap oh crap oh crap!" Nick began running as fast as he could. He considered pulling out the bow again but as bad as he was at it it would probably just get him killed quicker. Pausing the world and bringing up his inventory menu, Nick scrolled down until he found the burning silver sword of burning. It was just what he ne- "OW! Dammit it burnt me!" Uhhh okay, so Nick pulled out the dagger of cold and put it on the burn which made him sigh in relief. "Ahhh," he sighed in relief.

"I think I'll just stick with plain old steel, thank you." Drawing his steel short sword, one without any special effects, Nick started running again. The sounds of the army soon faded into the background since skeletons are slower than a fox who is scared out of his mind. "You got that right, strange script writing asshole."

Looking behind him, he wasn't watching where he was going until it was too late. "Oomph!" Falling back on his butt, his tail almost getting caught under himself, Nick looked upwards to see a familiar and unwelcome sight. The tip of his sword was lodged into the flank of a brown horse, one that still registered as an enemy on his strange floating heads up display. With a snort, the large mammal turned to face the sprawling fox. "Oh c'mon. Is it cause of the asshole comment?"


Post A/N: For anyone following my other stories, don't worry. They will be updated as soon as I can. With school, work, kid stuff, and this crappy ass seasonal sadness, finding motivation sucks. That and my writing quality hasn't been on par and I refuse to post bad writing.