The day upon which Satsuki Kiryuin learned truly how thin the walls of the Honnouji Academy 4-star dormitories were began like any other, with meetings held in the high-altitude conference room within the academy itself, whereupon the onslaught would begin.

It began subtly; sideways glances from Nonon, the persistent and irritating grin dancing upon Sanageyama's lips, Gamagoori's unwillingness for eye contact; well they were more things the average human would consider subtle, but Satsuki was far from a normal human.

Around lunchtime, however, the innuendos began, each one more painful than the last.

"Lady Satsuki, may we break for lunch? I have an important meeting with…Mankanshoku" Gamagoori requested, in a tone closer to a shout than anything else.

Nonon pounced at the opportunity with glee.

"I doubt Lady Satsuki would be hungry, Gamagoori,"

Her head turned to make eye contact with Satsuki, and the aura of impudence was pungeunt.

"She ate late last night."

It took Satsuki a moment; two, if she was being honest, but the moment she understood, so did the others, and thus came the beginning of the end.

"Yes, I do believe I heard her having a midnight snack" Hoka interjected, pulling his collar from his mouth before replacing it, his grin clearly visible through the fabric.

Uzu Sanageyama, who had dozed off somewhere about halfway through the meeting saw this as a good opportunity to wake up and ask Nonon what the current topic of discussion was.

"Oh we were just discussing Lady Satsuki's meal late last night." the little imp grinned.

Oh, how greatly Satsuki wished to shove that conductor's baton up her insolent little a-

"Meal? I thought she was banging Matoi last night."

There was a loud slump as Gamagoori passed out in a rather uncharacteristic manner.

"YOU IDIOTIC NORTHERN KANTO MONKEY! DON'T JUST SAY IT OUTRIGHT!"

Satsuki's hand met her bright red face as the door opened and Ryuko Matoi, still wearing her pyjamas took in te sight before her.

Nonon Jakuzure, that pink-haired nutbag was currently attacking Sanageyama. Gamagoori appered to be down for the count and the computer geek was grinning so hard he might pull a muscle, and there was Satsuki with her face buried in her hands.

The room fell silent after a few moments, however, and Ryuko felt all eyes in the room turn to her.

Satsuki had renewed hope, perhaps Ryuko could save her; rescue her from this nightmarish scenario.

"Satsuki I made you coffee, I thought you'd be tired after last night."

Unbelievable.