Is it so hard to REVIEW once in a while? NO!! it can even be a bad one, it can say: man, this story sucks, I hate you!! I don't care, just REVIEW REVIEW REIVIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!!!! (actually, never mind, don't tell me I suck and I hope u do not hate me…)

Well, when we last left off, Jack, Elizabeth and Will were down the yellow brick road, seeking soberness for Jack to end his hallucination. Oh, and Elizabeth is a whore, and a bitch and a slut and a ho… and mean.

Elizabeth kept on screaming at her two male companions to hurry up so they could get out of the hallucination.

"We CAN'T!!" yelled Jack.

Elizabeth put her hands on her now BITCH-like hips and said, intimidating him,

"Why NOT?" Will answered for Jack.

"Because you've kicked our asses so many times it HURTS!!" Jack slouched even further.

"There's not a place in my body that's not sore!" Elizabeth grabbed both their ears and tugged on them ferociously.

"SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU AND COME ON: OR I'LL KICK YOUR ASSES TWICE AS HARD!!!"

The two obeyed and followed her, quickening their pace.

   

After a while, however, the boys' bodies began to numb and could no longer feel the unremitting sting of Elizabeth's hands, knees and feet, which was a slight relief, if not for the mild aching they still recieved. The trio then came upon a field of apple trees and, upon witnessing the gorgeous juiciness of the apples, realized they were very, very hungry. Jack groaned: he wasn't hungry… he was THIRSTY. He started to cry.

"I WAN' MY RU-U-U-U-M!!" he sank to the floor and started beating the ground with his fists. Elizabeth hit him -sigh- agaaain.

"Too bad, be thankful you get to eat apples: Will, go get some for us!" Will complied and ran up to an apple tree, about to grab an apple when suddenly- WHAM!!! THE APPLE TREE BITCH-SLAPPED HIM AND THREW HIM ONTO THE GROUND!!

"Hey, how would you like it if I came and picked something off of you?"

"Oh, 'e already 'as somethin' 'picked' off'o 'im… coughEUNUCHcough" Jack said, smiling.

"Do you EVER get tired of those jokes?"

"No."

Will glared at him while Elizabeth, steaming, confronted the talking apple tree.

"Listen, you: we are HUNGRY, and we just want some apples,comprende?"

Elizabeth kicked the tree and punched it… but nothing really happened. Instead, the tree swatted Elizabeth away, with one mighty branch as she cracked her head on the yellow brick road.

Jack and Will thrust their hands up into the air.

"Hurry for the apple tree: the wicked bitch is dead!!" The two held hands and spun around in a circle:

"DING DONG, THE BITCH IS DEAD!!"

"Which ol' bitch!?"

"THE WICKED BITCH!! DING DONG THE WICKED-" at that moment, two whales fell on top of the pair and killed them. The whales imploded. 1The End.

No, not really, of course, but they did have two wooden bats flung at them by none other than "the wicked bitch" herself.

"HOW DARE YOU SING GAILY ABOUT ME THAT WAY!!!!" she had another pair of bats ready for her to hit them with.

"I though'you were dea'!!" yelled Jack.

"How did you come back to life!?!!"

"An' where'djou get those bats!?!!" screamed Jack, backing away from the ever steaming maniac. Elizabeth pulled each by the hair and beat them to a pulp.

"I chopped down the trees AND carved them while you guys were SINGING!! I also found this."

She said, handing the mangled Jack a straw basket. Jack adjusted his dress before taking the basket.

"Wha' is ih'?" he said, his brain bleeding.

"How should I know?"

"Why're you given' ih' t'me, then?" Elizabeth slapped him across the back of his head.

"It advances the story- blame the freakin' writer!!" she said, getting struck by lightning.

Jack looked at the sky once, and then opened up the basket, where a mangy Jack the Monkey popped out of, sniffed human Jack, and ran back inside the basket. Elizabeth "awwwwwww'ed"

"Let's call him 'Jojo'!" she said. Will looked at her.

"But his name is 'Jack'." He said. Once again, he was kicked in the shin.

"DOES JACK RHYME WITH, TOTO? HUH!?" Will shook his head.

"I didn't think so."

And with that, Elizabeth, Will, Jack and "Jojo" were on their way down the yellow brick road. Along the way, however, they came across a VERY dark forest, one that blocked out all other sunlight with its abundance of trees:

"HOLD ME, JACK, I'M SCARED!!" it was ironic Elizabeth should say that for, as soon as they came to a fork in the road, they met a sobbing octopus man, sitting on a log.

"DAVY JONES!!!" Jack thrust Elizabeth in front of him and pushed her toward the man.

"SIC 'IM, GIRL!!" he said, pointing at Davy.

"I. AM. NOT. A DOG!!!" she said, crotch kicking him a second time. She muttered to herself "You have no idea how much you violate my emotions.", kicking him again. She slowly walked over to Davy Jones.

"Hey, what's wrong, big guy?"

Davy Jones looked at her with deep, brooding eyes:

"You wanna' know what's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong-" he took a DEEP breath "Well, the only woman I ever loved abandoned me and caused me to tear out my own heart and put it in a chest that I can actually only GET to once in every ten years and I'm stuck on some old dirty ship leading a band of ungrateful fish-men and a giant octopus: not to mention, a blacksmith, an annoying bitch, and a seemingly drunken, bisexual pirate, currently in a light blue dress, is going to ruin my life and completely destroy me, causing me to wallow in my own self- depression for eternity... oh! AND I'M A SQUID!" Elizabeth looked back at Jack and Will.

Jack was STILL on the ground moaning with pain(that last crotch-kick REALLY stung) and Will was almost waiting for her to hit him. Elizabeth looked back at the depressed pirate and asked:

"Do you want to come with us and see the wizard? Maybe he can make your life better!"

Jack and Will ran into the forest, picked up a mochacino from Starbucks, ran back to Elizabeth and Davy, waited for it to cool down, put whip cream on it and sugar, drank it simultaneously and spit it out.

"WHAT!?!!!!" they both yelled.

"'E CAN'T COME WIT' US- 'E'S-" Jack was interrupted by the growling Elizabeth, who had unsheathed a dagger she had hidden on her person… apparently.

"On second thought- that's a lovely idea!" said Will, smiling gaily, cupping his hand over Jack's mouth.

"That's what I thought." Elizabeth said, once again, glaring at the two. "That's what I thought."

Author's note: I know, it ended abruptly… once again, it shall be continued… would you look at that? My foot fell asleep… wow, I hate it when this happens…