Twilight: Not Mine!
Chapter One: Homecoming
BPOV
I was already settled in within the first few days of living with Charlie, sporting a new-old ride and registered into Forks High School. My Dad was nothing if not efficient. Charlie had a no-nonsense approach to getting things in order. He certainly didn't want me hanging around the house by myself, waiting for all the necessary paperwork to be processed before I could start classes.
Forks High was on spring break and the huge, old brick monstrosity of a building was virtually empty, running on skeleton crew. With class schedule and parking permit in hand, the countdown had begun. I had a little less than a week to mentally prepare myself for being the new girl. I felt like a carnival gold fish sitting in a plastic bag of stale water, hoping I would get passed by and go belly up quietly, rather than end up as a feeder for an even larger tank.
I didn't do "new" very well.
Anxiety was already welling up inside of me. I had one, real saving grace. Jessica. My long distance best friend was going to be home in two days from visiting her grandparents in New York. I couldn't wait to see her again and finally transubstantiate our bond from far away to up close and personal.
I hoped that we would share some of the same classes and that her friends, Lauren and Angela, would welcome me into the clutch. I wanted to meet Mike Newton and finally get to check out the guy that had Jessica practically fucking panty-bunched every time he spoke a word to her. I remember what that feeling was like. It was the same way I felt when I was around James.
"I should be done in plenty of time, Bells-baby. I'll get a few hours of study time in with my lab partner and be right there to pick you up for the movie. You still want to go, right?" James flashed those baby-blue eyes at me and I could feel my knees go weak.
"Yeah. Eight-o-clock." I tried to sound confident and nonchalant. I never was any good at lying about the way I felt; I really wasn't the confident type. And I wasn't much for this new lab partner James had been assigned. Every time he mentioned Victoria, his teeth would drag against his lower lip and I would feel the knot in my stomach tighten and tug on every vital organ.
James leaned down to kiss me, his hand drawing around the back of my neck, ensnaring some of the dark hair that slid out of the confines of my pony-tail. When I gasped softly against him, I could taste cherry-flavored-lip smacker-lip-gloss. My mind was playing tricks on me.
"Stay sexy, kitten." He winked and stepped away from me, taking a long glance at me, as he stood in the hallway by the girl's locker room.
All of the other girls from class had gotten some water from the drinking fountain and were neatly tucked back inside, changing. I just watched him walk away, my fingernails digging against my cuticles, still wearing the blue shorts and white t-shirt of my Phoenix Tigers gym uniform.
When the 7-minute bell rang, I jumped out of my skin. James was long gone and the hallway leading to the Chem labs were empty. I wasn't sure where I had gone for that really long moment, but when I checked back into reality, I swore I could still taste cherry all over my mouth.
"Earth to Bells, what do you think? Look straight to you?" Charlie must have called to me a few times as he strained to see the windshield from the outside in. He was half leaning out of my new-old red Chevy truck that was parked in the driveway.
I was huddled in my jacket, standing like a statue on the back porch, absently watching nothing but the memories flashing through my mind. My Dad had taken it upon himself to affix the Forks High parking permit to the window of the truck he bought for me. He liked things to look official.
"Yeah Dad. Looks straight as an arrow." I gave him the thumbs up and he smiled beneath his dark mustache. For a second he reminded me of the pictures my mom kept around the house of the both of them when they were young. Probably too young to have been parents. It just goes to show how one decision you make can change your life forever. For Charlie and Renee, it was having me.
It begs the question, how will things turn out for me? Will I always wonder what would have been, if James had never…
"You alright, Kidd-o?" Charlie was in front of me, wiping his hands off on an old car-worn rag. He was avoiding the fresh oil spots on the black smudged fabric.
"Great, Dad," I smiled, shivering beneath my jacket. After spending a lifetime in Phoenix, the frigid pacific-northwest was going to whip my ass. "Thanks for putting the sticker on. And the Oil change, I'm guessing."
"Well, Billy said the truck hasn't been driven in a while. The last time it had a proper oil change was when Jacob rebuilt the engine on her." Why were cars and trucks always referred to in the female tense? Maybe because they required so much maintenance.
"Wow, Jake did all that?" I hadn't seen Jacob since the last time I was in Forks over the summer, two years ago. He was the only other person besides Jess that I knew here. His father, Billy, (delete extra space) and Charlie had been best friends all of their lives.
"Yeah. He's a good kid. Shooting up like a sprout." Charlie shook his head. "Hey, how about I get all cleaned up and we hit the diner for some dinner?"
"That sounds great. But let me drive." I smiled. Charlie knew I hated being escorted around in his police cruiser. Too much attention.
I gave a look over the old Chevy truck that was going to be my personal freedom-ride. It was a weather beaten monster with a full metal smile and tons of character. It was just my style and probably the best gift Charlie had ever given me.
"Deal," he agreed sheepishly. Without another word, he went inside and closed the door behind him, giving me a brief reprieve to study the world around me. Luckily, my dad didn't like to hover.
****
Two days of absolute boredom flew by. I was counting down the minutes till Jess was back in town, ready to rescue me from the inane.
I waited anxiously by the front door, biting the edge of my nail out of habit. Every time a car passed by, I threw my eyes to the front window, practically tripping over myself while looking for Jessica's car. Two days went by so slowly in this town. I wasn't the 'venture out on my own' type.
"Bells, you're gonna wear a hole in the carpet if you keep pacing like that,"Charlie chuckled, leaning his shoulder on the wall that lead out from the kitchen. "Come on, you've only been cooped up with me for a few days and already your chomping at the bit to get out?"
I rolled my eyes, another habit of mine. "No, Dad. Just looking forward to seeing Jess and finally getting some normalcy in my life."
"Oh, and I'm not normal?" He was baiting me.
"Don't start with me," I sighed with annoyance. I bolted back to the window at the sound of another car. The turn signal was on and I could see a shock of blonde hair behind the wheel. Finally, my long distance best friend was about to be up close and personal. "Thank God, she's here!"
I had the front door open before Jess even had the car in park. The last time I had seen her was during the summer. Six months ago. As she stepped out onto the freshly salted driveway, I couldn't help but smile. She looked great, far more stylish than I remember seeing her. Jessica's long blonde hair was primped and wavy, falling in long curls over her sunglasses. The jacket she wore was tapered to her shape.
Suddenly, I understood what went through the minds of all the adults in my life when encountering a friend they hadn't seen for years. It was like time was passing by, precious and fleeting. I don't know why, but I kind of felt…old.
"Bella!" Jess squealed as she stepped past the open portal, finding me there. In a single second I went from anxious to overly joyful. We grabbed each other up in a tight, solid hug. I don't know who started jumping around like a fan-girl first, but we were both practically airborne.
"Jess! Oh my god you look great!" I howled, nearly doubling over.
"Me? Oh, my god, look at you! You are so skinny! I would totally die for your curves!"
"Oh my god, I am going to be sick," Charlie chuckled, shaking his head like our shrieks hurt him.
"Oh, hi Chief Swan," Jessica laughed, giving a short, fast wave to my dad at the other end of the room.
"Jessica. Good to see you,"Charlie nodded, watching me grab my overnight duffel. "So, what's on the agenda for the next two days?"
I had been waiting for the investigative search, and here it came.
Jessica lifted her sunglasses into her hair and took a deep breath. "Well, this afternoon we are going to go clothes shopping up in Port Angeles and tonight we will probably sit around and gossip. Maybe we could do make-over's!"
I rolled my eyes again. Charlie was still waiting, his arms now crossed over his chest.
"Oh and tomorrow we were going to do the mall and maybe a movie. I think my parents want to take us out to dinner too. What time does Bella have to be home on Sunday?" Jessica asked, seeming to derail her own train of thought.
"Afternoon would be best. I'd like to spend some time discussing the rules of the school year before classes start on Monday," Charlie dictated, his cautionary police voice suddenly out in full force.
"Okay, Chief Swan," Jess nodded. I moved in closer to the door.
"Jessica, your parents are going to be home all weekend?" Charlie asked, stopping me in my tracks.
"Well I don't know about during the day, but they usually don't go too far. Of course…" Jess was ready to give the long end of her explanation but hands were going up in defeat.
"Alright, I get it." Charlie was already sighing, clearly at his limit of patience with teenage girls.
Jess shrugged her shoulders and swirled her car keys around her finger. She was seemingly oblivious to the annoyance her vocal pattern created in Charlie. The situation was on the border of comical.
"Can we go now, Dad?" I was getting antsy to get out of the house.
"Yes you can go. I won't tell you when to call me but I expect to hear from you. Don't make me take a ride out to the Stanley's new place." Charlie was giving me the parental eye. "I'll have my cell phone on me but if I'm out of range and down at the Reservation with Billy, you can have the barracks page me through my link up."
"Alright, Dad. I'm not eight years old anymore," I grunted. Now, Charlie was just pissing me off.
"No, it's worse. You're seventeen. I've helped scrape enough kids your age off the pavement, drinking and driving."
"Don't worry Chief Swan, We will totally be on our best behavior," Jess promised, that sweet-as-an-angel lilt to her voice.
Everything went quiet with the exception of my best friend popping her gum repeatedly. After a long, fully assessing moment, Charlie nodded his head.
"Have fun, girls."
We were out of the door in a shot, the screen still vibrating as we tore down the small de-iced pathway to her car. With a roar of the engine, we made our escape.
I fidgeted in my seat as Jess smoothed her sunglasses back over her eyes. Before we had gotten too far, she turned to glance at me briefly, a wicked grin set over her frosted lips.
"So, Bella…you want to know what we're really doing this weekend?"
*
My mouth hung open as Jess promptly informed me of the night she actually had in store for us--a party in Port Angeles. And here Jess had convinced both Charlie and me that this was going to be some shopping filled, Cosmo reading, get-to-know each other all over again kind of a weekend. Damn, she was good.
"Why didn't you tell me we were hitting a party? I didn't pack anything worthwhile!" I protested excitedly. I didn't really have any party clothes. I was more of a jeans and comfy shirt kind of girl.
"Bella, you can't lie for shit and you know it!" Jess giggled, adjusting her hair in the mirror and casting me a glance over her sunglasses. "If I would have told you, the game would have been hella-over. Besides, if Charlie took a peek at what you packed, he totally would have known we wouldn't be around the house much."
I voiced my thought from moments ago. "Damn your good! But, how are we getting around your parents?" Oh damn, what if Charlie called the house looking for me? What if he stopped by?
"My parents and my brother totally left for Seattle this morning to check out the University there. They won't be back till tomorrow and they think that I'm staying at your house." Her voice was a completely self-satisfied giggle.
"But what if they call my house, or Charlie calls over to yours?" I bit the edge of my lip, anxious to hear her reply.
"I copied the message from the answering machine at home and forwarded the calls from the house to my cell phone. As far as calling your dad, come on! As far as they know I'm as safe as a kitten. I am crashing at the home of the Chief of Police, after all. Believe me Bells, we are totally covered!" She was obviously pleased with her dastardly plan.
"Maybe we should just skip the party?" I probably sounded like Charlie now.
"Oh hell no." Jess pushed the gas and we were flying down the only main highway out of Forks. "We are bringing Bad-Bella Swan out to play. After what James did to you, you deserve a night out. You never know, you might even hook up with someone so hot he can finally fuck that heartbreak right out of you. Don't worry about a thing, Bella. Your best friend has this all under control."
Just the mention of James, made that fire of injustice deep inside of me spring to life. I wanted to forget the rules, forget the past and strike out like a tiger in a cage. I wanted to push against the bars until they broke open and granted me my freedom. I didn't belong to James anymore.
"You will always be mine, baby. We have our whole fucking lives ahead of us." When James purred like that, I couldn't resist. He was half naked on the bed, dark blue jeans hanging dangerously open, arms outstretched to welcome me in.
"Come here, baby-girl," he crooned, pale blue eyes half lidded with anticipation. I watched him lick his lips as I slowly crossed the distance between us. "I think I want to tie you up and watch you squirm, tonight."
Captivity never suited me. So, why did I feel like my hands were still bound?
It was enough to make me choke on my own spit.
"I'm down. But first, we need to go shopping." A cold smile trickled across my lips. You only live once. If we got caught, my life expectancy was going to drop to zero.
"That's my girl! Let's do this!" Jess turned up the music and it pumped loudly out of her custom speaker system.
We were flying down the road like hell itself was chasing us. And every mile over the speed-limit we went, I was leaving responsible Bella behind.
**
Jessica killed the headlights, parking alongside the curb. There must have been twenty other cars lining the incredibly long driveway of the most extravagant house I had ever seen. Every light in the place seemed to be on and the music was loud enough to echo through the surrounding woods. The location was perfect, in the middle of nowhere and on the outskirts of Port Angeles. There wasn't a neighbor around for miles in either direction.
I cast a furtive glance at Jess as she leaned into the rear view mirror, slathering another coating of glossy lip color over the lacquer she already had there. Sunglasses left dangling in the window from the crystal heart chain off the mirror, my best friend primped herself like a model.
"Exactly who do we know here to get into this party?" I asked, running a hand through my long dark hair, the ends feathering down my shoulders.
"I told you before; it's my cousin Laurent. We aren't crashing the scene or anything, Bells!" Jess giggled, handing over her gloss to me. I had refused all attempts to let Jessica make me up. Other than a touch of mascara and eyeliner, I preferred to go more natural. But the gloss, I could make an exception for.
"It was kind of hard to hear you from the dressing room." I rolled my eyes, parting my lips and leaning in to share the mirror with Jess. A swift application of the high-shine clear coat and I puckered my lips, setting the shimmer in place.
"It was worth it, you look hot," she praised, my best friend giving me the confidence boost I needed.
I handed the gloss back to her and she tossed it into her messenger bag. She rummaged around in the large confines for awhile until finally withdrawing her cell phone and leaning her hips up to press it into her back pocket.
"Oh, I almost forgot." Jess reached into the magic bag of tricks again. This time, she produced two small flasks, offering one to me. "I never trust liquor someone else is making. Not with all that date-rape shit they drill into your head in health class. So, I pilfered some Bacardi 151 from my dad's stash."
Bacardi 151? As in one-hundred-fifty-one-proof? It was a good thing the flasks were small because that was the kind of shit that could seriously knock you on your ass. Not that I was a heavy drinker, but I knew a little more than I probably should.
Still, it was good looking out on her part. I accepted the flask and leaned forward, pressing the slim fit into my already skinny-tight jeans. "Well a girl can't be too careful, right?"
"Exactly." Jess was smiling like the Cheshire cat, tossing her keys into the zippered safety of an inner pocket in her messenger bag.
I took a deep breath and reached for the door handle.
"Oh shit, I almost forgot. Speaking of safety!" She rummaged through the magic bag of unending quantity and pulled out a small black box. Without hesitation, she tore it open and I could just make out the gold writing from the house-light reflection.
Magnum. Jessica had enough forethought, or at least hopeful inspiration, to bring a box of condoms.
With deft hands, she withdrew the compact package and tore the line of six individually wrapped parcels in half. Handing three over to me, I was thankful for the quasi-darkness so Jess wouldn't see me blushing as hard as I felt I was. I hadn't had sex, since James. A month ago.
At least one of us was hopeful enough that I might get laid again. Maybe the Depo-Provera shot wasn't a total waste after all. But, I wasn't really the one-nighter type of girl. I was into monogamy, and a firm believer of love and sex going hand in hand.
Then again, I had been fool enough to think that a guy would never cheat on me. I was never shy about sex with James. I thought I gave him everything he could have ever wanted. Apparently, I just wasn't his soul mate. Or at least, that was the bullshit line of justification he tried to feed me. Well, I wasn't biting.
What the fuck does a seventeen-year-old know about soul mates anyway?
I tightened my jaw, biting my tongue from having a hissy fit of frustration. With anger-shaking hands, I took the three condoms and folded them up, sliding them into my side pocket, forcefully.
Jess put her hand on my arm and I turned my blazing dark brown eyes to her pale blue orbs. "Bella, whatever the real reason James did this to you, it doesn't matter. Take back your life, girl."
Was I that damn transparent?
"Yeah, I intend to." I tried to give her a reassuring smile. "And if I don't say it later, I want to make sure I get it out there now. Thanks, Jess. For everything, including tonight."
"You're welcome," she trilled happily. And just like that, the crisis was solved. We weren't getting our rite of passage accomplished by sitting in the car. Jessica and I moved in tandem, making our way to the brightly lit, secluded house where the sound of youth and decadence washed away purity and shame.
I was Bad-Bella-Swan.
Tonight, I was starting over.
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A/N: I bow before the goddess of Brits23, author of this glorious Twific: Show and Don't Tell. Brit has endured countless revisions and remained an endless source of inspiration. Brit- You ARE perfection.
Dedicated to: Matthew, my mate, my inspiration, my Edward.
Do you want more? Feed me blood. Aka reviews :P
