The idea wouldn't leave me… so here some reaction to the news of Luffy becoming a Yonko and beating Big Mom (not the canon version). If you have no idea what I am talking about read the first chapter. A reminder WB and Ace are alive.
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This is just crack and fun, each chapter will be for another crew/person etc..
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This Chapter was beta'd by the amazing Black' Victor Cachat. Please check his stories. I for one enjoy them very much:D
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To understand half the jokes and references, I would recommend reading first "Shanks's Hair Trouble" (you should read all my fic's really and leave long ass reviews).
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"Shanksssssssssssssssss…" come the roar as the corpulent Lucky Roo raced across the deck of the Red Force, heading towards where he knew all his crewmates were gathered together this morning.
He forced himself to move even faster.
Faster!
Almost there.
"What is it Lucky Roo?" Answered Shanks calmly.
Too calmly.
Charging around the corner, at the last moment, Lucky Roo braked his run suddenly, which ended with few of his crewmates- those not lucky enough to get out of the way in time- hmmmm understanding the actual meaning of 'crushed like sardines in a tin box,' or 'acting like the flying spaghetti monster' (Lucky Roo had met few of them…well, ate them… they were delicious, if hard to catch. They zipped away just like those he sent flying with his sudden stop. Oopsy!).
Finally, Lucky Roo stopped and opened his mouth to tell them the exciting un-fadoodling-believable news, but found himself pausing, the words dying on his lips.
None of the sitting crew (neither those crushed nor those returning from their flying journey even looked at his direction, nor complained about his sudden and deadly arrival. More importantly, no one was drinking or partying.
Not even a whisper could be heard.
He surveyed the scene, trying to decipher the reason behind it and was utterly, truly, madly taken aback.
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Why, you ask?
Hmmm….
The fact that his captain answered him calmly wasn't what took him back. No.
Neither was the fact he didn't have a bottle of sake attached to his hand, nor the fact that he wasn't smiling. Neither was the fact that none of the crew were.
Benny always complained they acted more like a merry wannabe boyband (I want it that way~~ Bye, Bye~~) than pirates.
Even though Lucky Roo was in hurry to share the news, he still had a chunk of meat in his hand, while the newspaper had flown from his other hand when he sprinted here.
Yet… th...the...s… scene in front him, almost… Almost made him drop it (not like that would have stopped him for eating it, but still!).
Lucky Roo swallowed. Trying to find his balance and maybe… just maybe finally understanding what in Roger's mustache was going on here?
What had had he missed when he slept in, before the news coo woke him up? Lucky Roo give another glance around and his eyes once more stopped on his captain.
He shrugged mentally and admitted to himself that what had made him almost drop his precious meat was….no. It wasn't that either. He was not really thrown off by the fact that Shanks had chicken scratch drawing on his face… probably Yasopp's doing, wasn't something new (*Tale as old as time*). And, YES, he meant an actual, literal scratch of a chicken on the captain's chin. (The reason he was able to so intimately recognize such scratches lay in a piece of his personal history he swore never to reveal.)
Nope, nor was he taken aback by the childish drawing of black eye and -a banana?— between his Captain's mouth and nose. Lucky Roo supposed it was meant to be a mustache (maybe like Whitebeard, he guessed). Nor were the small leaves badly drawn around the captain's scars under his eye really out of place. The drawings on his Captain face (if one could call such atrocity that) weren't what had made him almost drop his meat, he concluded.
Truly, this happened every Monday, and Thursday. Sometimes Sunday, Tuesday, and Wednesday…..well, any time they partied, or got drunk, gambled…you know, every damn day of the week, twice around.
Benn almost had aneurysm once when they went to fight with "Red Haired all around even down there" with an arrow (do I need to tell you to where it pointed? Do I?) written on the Captain's face in red!
It had become a rule that before any fight, you had to clean your face (Benny had insisted, even threated with leaving!). It doesn't matter if you were about to be impaled by a sword, shot in the head…clean your face and then beat the holy shit of the motherfadoodle eating crap-hole. Or as Yasopp eloquently explained it: 'Why do you think it's mandatory to know how to swim before joining the Red-Hair Pirates? You shower before and after each fight. We are not animals, yo. Civilized gentleeemannn of the sea, that's what we are.' (Yes, you hadn't misread it- showering is equal to -forced- swimming according to Yasopp, he was always delighted to give a hand to any crewmate in need of a shower. There was a reason they were a non-Devil Fruit member crew.)
(Another rule was added afterward about not using permanent markers . . . Which most of the crew conveniently forget to follow).
What really made Lucky Roo stomach turn (He yet to decide if it was good or bad turn, mind you).
It was the person sitting in front of Shanks.
No, that wasn't accurate either.
He knew that person. Not knew him, knew him, but knew him (you get what he meanssss).
Don't get him wrong, he saw him a few times, even shared some meat with him (Lucky Roo liked him, because he politely refused!).
He was ehmmm nice and …...he was without his hat. Which wasn't that super strange… actually yeah… it was.
It was Lucky Roo's first time seeing him like that. Without a hat! Especially when he saw that the hat was on Yasopp's head.
Hawkeyes Mihawk. The strongest swordsman in the World. A Warlord, was sitting in front of Shanks, staring unblinkingly back at their captain.
His hair had few flowers woven into it, and someone had tried to braid them into a crown or tiara, but butchered it. Badly.
His face was adorned with some kind of star (with nine points?) drawn on his left side, half of his goatee was … not there anymore, and like Shanks, he had a very distinct black eye. Ahmmmm…very black!
And yeah, one couldn't miss that on his forehead was written, riddled with mistakes mind you, "Property of Shankseey".
"Lucky Roo?" Shanks asked with edge of annoyance to his voice, staring ahead at the Warlord unblinking.
Lucky Roo tried to pick up his still open mouth, and after few tries, he closed it with click.
He opened it again.
"What…. oh yeah… I wanted to tell you… Luffy is a Yonko now. He defeated Big Mom and destroyed her home island…" he muttered irritably, still trying to come to term with picture in front of him (and would someone bloody explain the reason for it!?).
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Shanks blinked.
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Lucky Roo blinked.
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Shanks turned to face him, his mouth gaping… "W...w..wh..what?" he gurgled out.
Shanks's question shattered the Moment...just shattered.
The place erupted like volcano with cheers, shouts, and so manyyyyyyy questions.
Chaos had descendent, yoi.
"The brat did it?"
"Come again?"
"HOW?"
"WHEN?"
"I want details!"
"You sure?"
"The old hag is dead?"
"Roger's mustache! that's awesome.."
"Are there pictures?"
"YAHOOOO!"
"What happened!?"
"What does 'defeat' mean?"
"Ohhhhhh… The baby boy is coming…"
"Not a baby anymore!"
"I called it, didn't I call it! Told you Big Mom will be the first to go!"
"Does that mean we are next?"
"Better get ready!"
"Candy women melted away!"
"Bring the big guns!"
"Nah…. Kaido and the old manfirst..."
"500 beli on Kaido!"
"1000 on Whitebeard!"
"Yeah, we are last, baby..."
"Let's celebrate!"
"Cheers to that!"
"Where is the sake?"
"Our little boy has grown up!"
"It's too soon!"
"I still remember when he ate the Devil Fruit….."
"Details!"
"Is there a picture?"
"Yeah!"
"How did he do it?!"
"Truly!"
"Hey, should we take over some of her territories?"
"I want the candy land!"
"Aren't all of them candy?"
"Cocoa. We can get endless cocoa…"
"Yummm!"
"Heyyy, isn't there like a Liqueur Island in Big Mom's territory?"
"A what?"
"You mean one full of … sake?"
"Why didn't someone say something before?"
"Why don't WE own such an island?"
"We can have it as our base!"
"Base, what base? Captain would drink it dry in a week!"
"I will bet on Yasopp finishing it first!"
"I will drink it all!"
"Pffttt…. You get drunk on chocolate with a tiny bit of sake inside it."
"I don't!"
"I bet 1000 that Benn will confiscate it."
"The island?"
"Or drink it to the ground!"
"Possible, He does always complain that the captain made him an alcoholic…"
"We also helped!"
"Nah, he will sell the island….or burn it to the ground!"
"Nooo…he wouldn't do that….would he!?"
"Why waste the sake….."
"That's just … cruel!"
"He can get pissy…soooo.."
"It will be easy…. Just light his cigarette!"
"You sure Luffy beat the old hag?"
"You aren't pulling our legs?"
"For Luffy!"
"The cake-sucker is gone!"
"Strawberry lava for all!"
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"You blinked." Hawkeye said in an even, matter-of-fact tone, somehow carrying to everyone.
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The two words made the place dead silent. Even an enraged Benn bent on chasing whoever brought the forbidden scissors aboard the Red Force, would not have succeeded in making the place this quiet.
Shanks mouth still gaping, turned to face back the swordsman, only one word spilling from his open mouth.
"SHIT!"
The place erupted with cheers and snickers once more.
"Ohhhhh…..."
Some grimaced, other laughed clutching their stomach and each other.
"Double or nothing," Shanks demanded, seemingly able to regain some of his wits, but still looking like a caged animal that Lucky Roo was about to roast.
"No," Hawkeye answered easily, still not blinking.
The news of Luffy's new status hadn't fazed him. At all.
His face was like blank white sheet (with star, black eye and "Property of Shankseey", yet still blank!), except Lucky Roo could swear on his storage of meat (that didn't exist! Well, his stomach could be seen as one, if you considered minced meat only) that the man was radiating glee and relish. Extremely satisfied with himself and the world at large.
"But… but…" Shanks tried, looking around him, seeking something ...anything.
"All of it!" The Warlord demanded.
Shanks whimpered.
"Cruel!" uttered Shanks. It sounded like a pout. Lucky Roo wasn't the only one who thought that, going by all the snickers and sniggers that accompanied his answer.
Yasopp cleared his throat, getting everyone attention.
"I think we should go pick fight with Kaido. If Luffy took care of Big Mom, we shouldn't let him get big headed," Yasopp announced with unhidden glee, and stood up making it a point that they should go now. "Let's show him how it's done!" The crew cheered and "Aye'd" to this.
"We are not going anywhere," Shanks shouted and then quietly added, "For like a month. No… a year… How fadoodling long it takes a hair to grow back?"
"I think we should look for new name," Yasopp continued ignoring him "yo'know….cause Shanks will have no red hair on his head….I vote for red eyebrows!"
"Baldy!"
"Chicken shit face."
"No hair?"
"You're asking or suggesting?"
"Badass!"
"Ass!"
"Maybe have Shanks grow a beard and call him Redbeard!"
"Hey… we can use Big Mom's name! She ain't goona use it no more!"
"Luffy made sure of it!"
"DANM STRAIGHT!"
"Big Shanks!"
"Huge…"
"Bigely Shanksey!"
"Shanks Mom."
"Dad?"
"Dad Shanks!"
"Shanks Dad!"
"Papa Shanks!"
"Daddy?"
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Hey gal, who's your daddy?"
"Shanksssyyyyyy" the whole crew screamed, falling into a fit of giggles. (Teenage girls all around the world felt ashamed and insulted to be compared to them. They adamantly and strongly refused to concede for any similarity whatsoever, quoting that they at least breathed when the giggled and spat, and drool weren't involved).
"Bring the scissors," demanded the Warlord. He was a man with mission.
Silence prevailed again over the kingdom.
"Ehmmm… we have none!" someone finally squeaked. "No razors either."
The swordsman turned to face him with a raised eyebrow that demanded elaboration.
"Benny," Lucky Roo said with shrug. Taking pity on his crewmate that were clearly unsure how to explain (where to begin, really!) about the hair issues that haunted the crew.
The mention of Benn's name made Shanks perk up (Benny to the rescue!?), and everyone looked suspiciously around, expecting him to jump any minute to tusk tusk at them.
Well, Benny was like the devil. You were attracted to him, felt the need to follow him, to appease him, and were deathly afraid of him catching you with your hand in the cookie jar, especially cause he somehow always knew when your hand was inside the jar trying to close on the cookie. On second thought, it felt like he was describing a 'mother' and not the devil! Hmmmm…. Maybe that's said something about moms.
The swordsman blinked for the first time. Hullellejui!~ A miracle!~ He was human after all~
Hawkeyes nodded, satisfied with the reply, like it had answered everything (In reality it did).
Shanks looked relieved, like an ant that dodged a huge foot coming down on it at the last second. (Lucky Roo saw him mouthing his love and adoration to his first mate).
Where was Benny anyway?
"Oh well," said the swordsman standing up as he unsheathed his sword. "There's another way to claim my prize."
Shanks blinked confused for second, before the blood drained from his face.
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The poor ant.
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I promise that I am working on my stories! It just a lot of things going on in my life and I am finding it hard to juggle everything.
How many song references did you catch?
I hope you enjoyed this chapter, let me know!
Send me some love, M&M's, and if not possible, I will accept reviews (I am gracious like that XD)
