Chapter 2—Losing Myself

The week had begun very slowly for Ginny, but once it had started, there was no turning back. Ginny had awakened, expecting to see red and gold drapes hanging around her four-poster bed; instead, she saw green and silver. It took her two minutes to stop hyperventilating before she remembered. I'm a Slytherin now. Once again, queasiness flooded her stomach. Ginny shook her head and stood from her bed, walking over to her bureau of clothes. She grabbed her hand-me-down robes, shirt, jeans, and undergarments before heading for the Loo to shower.

It was then she remembered that she hadn't written her parents as promised; she hadn't told them about the sorting. Ginny wanted to pull out her flaming red hair for forgetting but she figured Ron would have told them everything by now. That was when she remembered that she hadn't seen Ron at the feast last night or Harry. Where had they been?

Ginny thought no more about it as she got out of the shower and changed, using a Drying Spell on her hair before brushing it once. Then she left the Loo, only to see Astoria still asleep. A vindictive part of her wanted the girl to miss their first class this morning, but Ginny knew that her parents had not taught her to be mean to others. After shaking Astoria awake, Ginny quickly left the room and headed down the stairs. She went through the commons (thankfully unharmed) and then to the Great Hall, where she paused outside before entering.

As she took a left to go to her table, however, Ginny felt someone grab her right elbow and steer her to the right. Upon looking up, she saw the Golden Trio. Ron looked so mad at her.

"You know," Ginny said so quietly and shakily, not even recognizing her own voice. She'd never seen so much rage on Ron's face before; it scared her.

"Of course I know," He said a bit loudly, dropping her at the end of Gryffindor's table before sitting himself.

"How could you do this?" Ron yelled.

"Ron, you shouldn't blame her." Hermione began.

"Why?" Ron snapped at Hermione, cutting her off. "It's her fault."

Ginny wanted to run out of the Great Hall and cry. He blames me for this and he's right, she thought to herself. "Ron, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get sorted there—I really didn't. It just happened—and I don't think anything can be done to fix it." Ginny said, seeing Ron shake his head at her. "Ron, be realistic. I really am sorry. I never wanted this."

There was silence before Hermione ended it. "So…do you like your house?"

A bitter, dry laugh escaped Ginny that made the trio all share a look before frowning at her. "I'll be lucky to survive this year alone. I've been thinking and maybe there's another school I can go to."

"Mum and Dad would never allow it, Ginnikins." Fred said, seating himself across the table from them with George.

"Yeah, they want us all close to be a family." George finished, using their mother's tone of voice.

Ginny offered them a small smile. "I hate that house. Some call me Weasley; others call me blood traitor. Malfoy's going to make life a living hell for me. I might be able to convince them to transfer me out of here all together."

"What's a blood traitor?" Harry asked her, frowning at Ginny in confusion. She couldn't answer him. The only reason she'd spoken so much around him was because she hadn't really focused on Harry, her obsession.

"It's what pureblood manias call those purebloods who believe in rights for anyone who's not a pureblood." Fred explained quickly, winking afterward at Harry, who was still trying to understand what Fred had said. Then, Harry nodded before giving Ginny a pitying look. She looked at Ron instead, but she couldn't stop blushing for a minute afterward.

"Why'd you have to go and get yourself sorted in Slytherin anyway?" Ron asked, and this time, Ginny felt anger.

"Shut up, Ronnikins." George said fiercely, holding his hand out for Ginny to place her small hand in his. "You're still a Weasley. You're still our sister and we still love you." George said seriously, nodding at her afterward.

Ginny beamed widely at him before looking at Fred. "You're still our favorite brat." Fred added.

Ginny fought tears but nodded at them and said, "Thanks." The twins were now standing up to leave.

"You leave her alone, Ron." George said, glaring at their younger brother.

"Or you answer to us." Fred finished, and together, they walked away.

"Look, I'm not really mad at you," Ron said quietly, looking at Ginny with some hurt and confusion. "I just don't get it, all right. It's just a…awful mistake. You never know, maybe Mum and Dad can fix it."

"And if they can't?" Ginny asked, seeing Ron falter a bit. "What then, Ron?"

Ron sighed before nodding at her. "You're still an over-talkative brat who happens to be my favorite sister." He said with a shrug but he wasn't smiling.

"As usual, you have no tact at all. I'm your only sister." Ginny said, beaming at Ron before elbowing him in the ribs. Ron had never been very emotional, even when they were kids. Ginny knew it was his way of saying that he still cared for her. "And where were you during my sorting? You, too, Harry?" Ginny asked Harry without looking at him.

Ron blushed embarrassedly. Ginny narrowed her eyes, glaring at him. "What did you do?" She asked slowly.

Ron and Harry both looked guilty. Harry quietly answered, "We flew your father's car to school last night."

Ginny wanted to rage and call them idiots but she knew that would help nothing, nor would it change what they'd already done. Instead, she gave each a cold glare that made them both look away.

"Before acting, you should always consider the consequences of your actions, not only for yourself but for others, too." Ginny said, remembering exactly what Tom had told her after he'd supported a punishment that her mother had given her a month ago for being rash. The trio looked at her with wide eyes and Hermione was watching her calculatingly. "If you were seen; if you'd hurt someone; if you'd exposed our world; if you'd hurt yourself, then how could that have possibly been reasonable or beneficial? It's time to start thinking like men before acting without thought, like boys."

Once Ginny had finished, she stood and looked down at Ron mostly but briefly at Harry, too. If she would have looked at herself, then she would have seen what she looked like at that moment, a Slytherin. Her eyes held no warmth and no leniency or understanding for the situation at all. Harry had thought her expression was very close to how Snape's had been last night. Ron was thinking the exact same thing and was wondering when Ginny had changed. He'd known her for all of his life and knew how she was when angered. She was like Mum: All fiery rage and shouting, not cold and calm. Hermione thought Ginny truly belonged in Slytherin; she would have to watch her (or watch out for her) from now on.

"You don't know what happened." Ron said defensively. Ginny's gaze became colder, silencing Ron.

Harry spoke. "The barrier to 9¾ just…closed; it wouldn't let us through. We panicked and did the only thing we thought we could do."

Ginny thought a bit before saying, "Why not just wait for Mum and Dad to return for the car?" Ginny asked them thoughtfully, still standing to leave. "After all that Dad had done to it, did you really think he'd just leave it at Kings Cross? If you had waited for them to return, then they could have rightly handled the situation. You two could've owled Hogwarts or someone, perhaps Professor McGonagall or even the Headmaster. Hedwig was there with you—I'm sure she could have found a way onto the platform and fast, too. She could've alerted Mum and Dad, who would've dropped everything to start looking for you both." Ginny said, seeing Ron and Harry look even guiltier. She didn't notice the figure behind her at that moment. "Taking that car was wrong and very stupid. Your behavior affects not only yourself but others. Think from now on and you just wait till Mum gets her hands on you, Ron. You're very lucky we're at school."

"Miss. Weasley," said a voice she knew didn't belong to Professor McGonagall. Ginny's reaction to that cold, cultured voice was not the typical reaction of a first year and that stunned the trio and rather secretly impressed Professor Snape, who'd never admit that to anyone other than himself. The girl kept her stance and only turned her head to face him; she almost regarded him with coolly and this alone nearly made him chide her for her insolence. Then, her posture straightened; it became demure-like. Yet her eyes, while very respectful, had a faint shade of calculation in their depths that was barely perceivable.

Interesting, Snape thought before continuing, "Your sojourn here at this…table," He said with distaste, looking at the trio and their Gryffindor attire, "has lasted long enough. You are to return to your house, you impudent girl. I did not appreciate having to scour the hall for you when I was handing out time-tables. You remain at your house, is that understood?"

Hermione was about to say that Hogwarts, A History did not mention that sitting at another House's table violated any school rules but Ginny interrupted her, saying, "Yes, sir. Sorry."

Snape quickly handed her the time-table with a cold glower and turned around to leave. He knew Weasley was wise enough to follow him. Ginny turned as she walked behind the man, sending a small grateful smile at Hermione. She knew the girl was going to defend her to Snape but Ron, Fred, and George had told her how extremely unfair the man was. She didn't want Hermione to lose her house any points but she did want her to know that she appreciated her trying all the same.

"Sit," Snape said sharply and Ginny did not hesitate to obey. She looked up at him, seeing that he was looking down at her time-table rather than at her. "I see that your first lesson of the year is with me. There will be…consequences," He said 'consequences' with an emphasis, "should your performance in my class or any other class for that matter bring shame upon this House. Do you understand, girl?"

The man was now bearing down on her like a black bat out of hell and in front of everyone, too. She could hear her housemates snickering and talking to one another. One even said, "Look at the blood traitor finally getting hers." Ginny met the Professor's eyes; this time, her gaze was challenging.

"Perfectly, sir." Ginny said without sarcasm, knowing that her voice could not be anything but respectful; after all, Tom and her mother wouldn't want her to be rude to a Hogwarts professor.

Snape sneered down at her before walking back up the aisle toward the Staff table. As he took his seat once again, he saw the Weasley girl shaking her head at her brothers from across the hall. He had angered them, when his intent had been to infuriate the girl instead. She was different but still a Weasley; he could still see some Gryffindor in her eyes. It was her innocence, Snape realized, as he watched the Greengrass girl say something to Weasley that made her give Greengrass a small smile. Weasley had a Gryffindor's innocence and outlook on the world. He wondered what would become of Weasley should she ever lose that perception on life.

"She is your student, Severus." McGonagall said from his left, giving him a stern look. "You should treat her fairly as such."

"Severus would never abuse one of his, Minerva." Dumbledore said; that infuriating twinkle was in the old man's eye.

"I cannot say if she truly is one of mine," Snape said, looking at them before his gaze switched to the flaming redhead at his table. "I assume Dumbledore told you of her parents and how they wrote him, begging for a re-sorting." He spat, thinking the elder Weasleys knew better than to ask for such foolishness.

Minerva sighed. "Even I cannot understand it myself. She does not seem to have what it takes to be a Slytherin. Severus, you must watch out for her there; she's too nice, too…"

"Innocent," he offered, seeing Minerva nod before saying, "What do you think, Albus?"

"I trust that Severus will ensure the girl's welfare." Dumbledore said and the way he said it made Snape want to sneer. "I worry about her parents, however. Arthur will be fine, I think. Molly, on the other hand, will need more time. Ginny will need them to bear this…unexpected turn of events."

Meanwhile, at the Slytherin table, Ginny was silently fuming to herself about what Snape had said to her. Out of all the Slytherins, he'd chosen to tell her in front of everyone not to shame his house. It was the way he'd said it that made her understand that he thought she didn't belong there. Well, Ginny thought to herself, he's right about that. He'd told her outright that she wasn't good enough to be there, but Ginny would show him and the others that she was far greater than them all.

Ginny eyed the Gryffindor table, seeing Hermione trying to calm down the twins and Ron. Harry was glaring at Snape. When Ron, Fred, and George looked her way, Ginny shook her head at them, telling them to drop it. She didn't want any of them getting into trouble. Snape had tried to bait her in front of everyone but failed. Tom had said that she wasn't to argue with Professors and her mother had told her the exact same thing.

It was at that moment when the owls came. "Mail." Ginny said quietly. Astoria frowned at her before Ginny added, "My parents."

For a moment, Ginny thought she saw a shade of pity in Astoria's eye but that look quickly faded. Ginny reached for Errol and untied the parchment from his leg.

Dear Ginny,

After talking extensively with Headmaster Dumbledore last night over the Floo connection—well, there's nothing we can do, sweetheart. We are very sorry. (That's Dad, Ginny noticed. The letter was in his writing and only Dad called her sweetheart. To Mum, Ginny was always 'dear' or 'my baby.') Your mother and I were wondering, are your housemates being nice to you? Of course they aren't, your mother says. Ignore them, sweetie, and remember to treat people the way your mother and I taught you to. Also, do not worry about being in Slytherin, Ginny. Remember that we love you regardless. You're still our little girl. Stay kind, honest, and true. Your mother and I both believe in you. We've raised you all, I think, extremely well. That's why we have faith in you and your brothers and the choices (including mistakes) that you all will inevitably make. We love you, sweetheart, and can't wait till summer to see you. Remember, we're visiting Bill for Christmas.

Love,

Dad and Mum

P.S. Help Percy keep an eye on Ron and Harry, wouldn't you? (That's Mum's handwriting, Ginny thought to herself). There's enough on his plate with studying, the twins, and now those two. By now, I assume they've told you about the situation with the car. I'm afraid, at the rate they're going, that they'll soon be expelled. Keep them in line, dear.

I love you,

Mum

"Your parents are understanding," Astoria said softly, not hiding the fact that she'd been reading Ginny's letter.

Ginny gave her a small smile. "Of course they're understanding. They're the best."

Ginny began gathering food for breakfast, ignoring the glares of her housemates—especially Malfoy. Tom had been right after all. Ginny wanted to head back to the dungeons to tell Tom how well her family had taken the news but she thought better of it. Yes, Ginny would have liked hearing more directly from her Mum but there was no doubt in Ginny's mind that she still loved her only daughter.

In no time, they were in their first class of the day—Potions. Ginny sat in the middle of the class and noticed that smoke from the cauldrons could make seeing the blackboard with instructions more difficult. Astoria sat next to Ginny in potions and was squinting at the board. Ginny heard Astoria sigh and watched the girl reach for toadstool.

"No," Ginny said abruptly, firmly grabbing Astoria's left wrist to stop the girl from adding the ingredient. "It's the roots, then the toadstool."

Astoria shot her a glare out of the corner of her eye but nodded at her a moment later; that happened after Snape walked past their table. If Ginny hadn't stopped her, then she would have been the first student of both the Gryffindors and the Slytherins to botch their potion. Ginny smiled to herself as she focused yet again on the instructions. At least this blood traitor can brew a simple burning salve, Ginny thought to herself. She wished Snape could've seen what she'd just done. After bottling the potion and taking hers to the professor, he thoroughly scrutinized it before his mouth curled, saying that the texture wasn't supposed to be so thin. Ginny replied "yes, sir" before turning around and leaving Potions.

Astoria was by her side immediately afterward. "Thanks for what you did back there. I can't believe I nearly screwed myself over for the next six years and all because of a simple burning salve, too. Professor Snape would've never let me live that down."

As they headed to Transfiguration, Ginny replied, "Stick around me, Greengrass. I'll try my best to help you with your potions."

Astoria looked at her calculatingly, before smirking. "Deal."


Ginny was now in the library. She'd decided to skip lunch and begin some research. Snape and McGonagall had already set them an essay. Ginny would do those later, though. Right now, she wanted to learn some basic spell casting that would help her against Malfoy. He said he'd break her and Ginny didn't take threats lightly. The Hogwarts library was huge. Ginny felt overwhelmed by the sight of all those books. Where to begin? She wondered aloud.

"Here," said a voice from behind her that sounded disapproving. "I guess you've already lost your copy of this; it happens every year." The woman, a librarian said, handing Ginny a Standard Book of Spells, Year 1.

Ginny briefly flipped through the book. Afterward, she looked back up at the tall librarian. "Thank you." She said distractedly, choosing to walk to a deserted table and begin reading.

Ginny began to chastise herself. She'd had this same book for a month and hadn't attempted to read it. Ginny sighed, knowing she'd spent most of her time in August writing to Tom. Oh, well. It's not like Mum and Dad would've let me do magic before school anyway. She used the hour lunch to read the first section of the book: Charms.

Ginny found that most of the spells were simple. That had surprised her—especially after hearing Ron whining over the summer about the difficulty of first year. By the end of her lunch hour, Ginny had mastered eight spells and looked forward to trying more tonight. On her way out of the library, she saw a book titled Practical Defensive Magic for Beginners. She checked it out and made a point of returning the first book that Madam Pince had given her. The woman gave Ginny a suspicious look before watching her leave for Charms.

Most of Ginny's first day went well, except for dinner. There was a truce between Astoria and Ginny; that, however, still wasn't enough to stop the girl from being such a pest.

"After we left for classes, your brother got an owl from your parents." Astoria said snootily. "Your father's facing an inquiry at work, you know? All over that flying car."

"Well, her family couldn't afford for daddy to lose his job, right Weasley?" asked a girl Ginny now knew to be Parkinson.

Ginny sipped from her goblet before adding, "And it looks like you can't afford to gain any extra weight, now can you, Parkinson? We've all noticed how disgustingly tight those robes of yours are becoming, you cow." Ginny said, smirking afterward at the girl who was gaping at her.

"You bitch!" Parkinson spat, drawing her wand on Ginny who looked impassive. Ginny noticed how none of the others rose to Pansy's defense; in fact, they laughed at her, including Malfoy. Was there any loyalty in this house?

"Such irony." Ginny began blandly, seeing every Slytherin at the table listening. Ginny liked the attention and so she looked Pansy directly in the eye, continuing, "Especially coming from such a fat bitch." Ginny finished with a viciousness that made their table laugh loudly.

The entire hall was looking at them now. Pansy stood in fury, although Ginny thought the girl's eyes were a bit wet. Parkinson ran from the Great Hall. Ginny didn't spare her a look. She had it coming, Ginny thought to herself. She should've left my family out of her pettiness against me.

Soon afterward, Ginny finished eating. She read during their hour and a half dinner (depending on when one decided to arrive). Underneath the table, she practiced wand movements. Since lunch, she'd learned three new spells. By the night, she planned to learn five more at the least.

Dinner ended quickly, and before Ginny knew it, she was in her room reading her Year 1 book again. Ginny was trying to teach Astoria the levitation charm, a spell they hadn't yet learned in Charms. Astoria saw Ginny doing the spell in their room and so she'd sat on Ginny's bed, ordering Ginny to show her how to do it.

Ginny glared at Astoria, who later rolled her eyes. "Fine, please, show me."

After correcting Astoria's wand movement, their room door suddenly burst open. She saw that it was Malfoy, who was glaring at both Ginny and Astoria. Greengrass, Ginny noticed, quickly stood and walked over to her own bed, pulling the drapes around her bed closed. Ginny's gaze never left Malfoy's throughout it all.

"What?" Ginny snapped, seeing his lip tighten in fury at her blatant disrespect.

"You think I fear you, Weasley?" Draco sneered, drawing his wand on her. "You think embarrassing a witch far more superior than yourself makes you any better than the blood traitor garbage that you are? You aren't and never will be, you know."

"Parkinson embarrasses herself, you idiot." Ginny said softly, although her voice was cold. "And for your information, I am far better than her. I am far greater than you, too."

Tension hung in the air between them. Ginny felt like the last sentence she'd said hadn't really been her but she ignored it as she focused and readied herself. Sure enough, Malfoy struck first with a Rictumsempra. It missed and Ginny retaliated with a Petrificus Totalus. The spell struck Malfoy in the face; he toppled over and lay on her floor just as stiff as a board. Ginny walked over to Draco, leveling her wand down at him as he glared daggers straight up at her. Ginny squatted down beside him and placed her wand underneath his pointy chin.

"I see you for what you are. Let me tell you about yourself." Ginny said coldly, feeling an urge to truly hurt him, too. She didn't know where this feeling was coming from but part of her felt thrilled. "You are weak. Like daddy, you will never outlive your father's shadow. The only thing you have to offer our world is your money. You—are—nothing."

Upon standing, Ginny felt light-headed. The world was spinning before it immediately came back into focus. Ginny dragged Malfoy out of the room by the feet, leaving him right outside of their room door. When she reentered the room, Astoria seemed impressed.

"You're just going to leave him there?" She asked, sounding afraid.

Ginny shrugged. "Why not? Let him be someone else's problem." She finished, walking over to her bed and grabbing the diary to tell Tom all about her day.

"B-but what if he awakes? He'll come back." Astoria said. Ginny rolled her eyes, standing to head to the door.

She herself had forgotten to place a locking charm on the door. "He won't be getting in here again tonight." Ginny said, seeing Astoria look relieved before grabbing her things to take a shower.

Once she headed to the Loo, Ginny began writing to Tom. They talked for a little over half an hour. He'd said that Ginny had proven how she wasn't weak today. Tom told her to never let anyone see her weak, for it would be exploited. He was proud of her when she'd told him what she recalled telling Harry and Ron at breakfast this morning. Ginny found it odd how she could remember lecturing them on what they could have done, but she couldn't word-for-word remember what she'd told them before then.

Tom told her not to worry; that she was simply overwhelmed by her first day back. Ginny realized that he was right and told him that she needed to start her essays. Tom had said that he'd missed her for the day and that he'd help her with her homework. Ginny therefore stayed up to two-thirty in the morning, finishing her Transfiguration and Potions essay with Tom's help. He was brilliant and she told him so, too. At the moment, he was her one trusted friend and Ginny would never let him forget that.

The knowledge Tom would give. Reading his words was like reading a textbook. One couldn't help but be enthralled by him. Potions was his favorite and so he began recommending books for her to read in the library, telling her that she'd need them to be as powerful as she wanted to be one day. He already expected her to read Formulations and Techniques, a book on potions that he'd told her about on Sunday. In fact, Tom made out a list of books for Ginny to read from his memory.

Ginny told him that he was brilliant but Tom didn't think so. He told her that it was simply knowing how to think and that he would teach her how to do that. Ginny went to sleep that night with a wide smile on her face.

Her last thought before going to sleep was that she was lucky to have Tom.


(Late October)

Ginny, so far, found everything at Hogwarts to be amazing but she noticed that she had no one to really share this experience with, except for Tom. Her brothers had lives of their own: Percy had his studies and surprisingly a girlfriend that he didn't want the twins to know about; Fred and George had each other and their pranks; Ron had Harry and Hermione, who were in a world of their own. All of them were Gryffindors and they were older; they didn't want to be seen with her, the Slytherin loner, although they talked to her occasionally.

Ginny was a loner now.

Astoria could not be called a friend; she was an ally who filled Ginny's mind with mindless chatter but Ginny was not fooled by Greengrass. The girl wouldn't give her the time of day if Ginny wasn't so smart. Ginny was lower in the Slytherin hierarchy and so she could never be her friend. At dinner, when Astoria talked to Ginny in front of their housemates, she made sure to cleverly mention topics that related to wealth and she even mentioned blood traitors a few times. By now, Ginny knew the girl had a thing for Malfoy and so she didn't want to appear to like Ginny.

Ginny knew Astoria didn't really like her, but as long as Ginny was useful, she would remain close to her. Ginny just liked having someone physically around her. The closest she got to Tom was holding his diary. Contact with anyone else was awkward and out of the question. Ginny read in the library during every lunch hour; she was the last to leave the library before curfew. Before Hogwarts, Ginny was never truly a reader. She found herself picking up book after book, devouring each for what they had to offer her. She'd come across something and would immediately think of a question to ask Tom. She could no longer wait to go back to her room for the diary. She now carried it with her everywhere she went. Tom was always on her mind and he kept his promise to teach her how to think. Tom told her that Ginny's level of understanding was impressive and quickly improving. Ginny knew he liked teaching her; he was the best teacher so far that she'd ever had.

"All you do is read." Astoria said one night, as she scrutinized Ginny from her bed. "You stayed up all last night reading and writing—I saw you. I think you've gone mad."

Ginny focused on finishing up her readings on various potion theories instead. Ginny's new favorite subject was Potions; Tom said she had a lot of promise and that she was a natural at the art.

"I know you heard me, Weasley." Astoria snapped. Again, Ginny ignored her.

The door to their room suddenly opened and Ginny didn't need to look up from her book to see that it was Malfoy. He visited every night to bully her. Ginny would try to give as good as she got, but Malfoy was just a bit quicker than her sometimes.

"Ignoring your betters, I see." Malfoy said, shutting the door behind him. "What are you, deaf? Look at me, blood traitor."

Ginny did not. Draco shared a furious glance with Astoria who said, "She's been acting like a freak for the past two weeks and it's scaring me. All she does is read and she barely eats. She's not only a danger to me but to us all."

Meanwhile, Ginny was having problems focusing. She could only decipher one emotion within her; it was potently vicious with a latent desire to truly cause pain. Raw anger, Ginny realized. It was hers but then it wasn't, too. Malfoy frowned at her before crossing the room to Ginny's bedside, snatching Ginny's book from her hand. That made her look up at him and the look she'd given him made him step back. Ginny embraced the anger, instantly feeling better now that she was no longer trying to resist and understand its origins.

"Give it to me," Ginny hissed deadly, glaring at the boy.

"Her eyes—I swear they flashed red or something. You are mad." Malfoy said somewhat frightfully but his gaze was still shrewd.

"Accio book." Ginny said coldly. Instantly, the book flew from Malfoy's hands and back to Ginny, who caught it.

The room silenced before Astoria asked, "H-how did she do that? We haven't learned how to do that."

"Neither have I," Malfoy said slowly, his voice sounded peculiar. "Where'd you learn that, Weasley?" He asked, but again, Ginny ignored him. Ginny was reading about Gamps separate theory on the Trans-morphing of Potion solutions.

Yet Ginny couldn't ignore the hands that gripped her shoulder and shook her hard. Before she knew what she'd really done, her wand was out and Malfoy was on the ground at her feet. Ginny's head tilted to the right, blinking down at him afterward in a bit of confusion. She knew why Malfoy had been in her room, but what had he said to her after he called her a blood traitor? Ginny looked up, seeing Astoria's mouth wide open in horror as she watched Ginny fearfully.

"What did you do?" Greengrass asked; her voice was shaky and sounded faint.

Ginny bent down and checked Malfoy out; she'd stunned him! Ginny gulped, knowing that her stunning wasn't yet strong enough to take down a person. She could stun cats (Millicent Bulstrodes's cat) but she hadn't tried stunning people.

Although Ginny knew she could levitate Malfoy out of their room, she didn't want Astoria knowing all of what she could do. The more she tried, the more she was beginning to remember what she'd done. It was a faint memory, though. All Ginny knew was that she'd shown both Malfoy and Astoria too much, so she dragged Malfoy out of their room by his feet and deposited him outside their door. Afterward, Ginny slammed it closed.

"I only stunned him, that's all." Ginny said guardedly. "He'll be fine."

"You can't just leave him out there like that." Astoria said heatedly.

Ginny's head turned as she looked at the girl over her shoulder. Astoria thought she'd seen Weasley's eyes flash with something but she couldn't be sure; it seemed to be just a stirring of hate in Weasley's eyes but it was chilling and so it instantly silenced her.

"And why not?" Weasley asked, and Astoria noticed how lethally cold the girl's voice was. Was it even her voice, Astoria wondered? Eleven year olds couldn't talk like that. "The weakling won't speak of it; he won't tell others how a blood traitorous girl stunned him. You won't either, will you, Astoria?" She finished charmingly.

And the predator-like smile on Weasley's face made Astoria gulp and nod vigorously. Weasley's head moved, as if she was angling herself to hear better. She even placed a hand up to her ear.

"I won't tell." Astoria said quickly.

The smirk on Weasley's face made Astoria tremble. Afterward, she watched Weasley turn and stare down at her bed almost confusedly. Astoria thought she stared blankly like that for five or ten seconds before moving to her bureau for pajamas. Once she walked past Astoria toward the Loo, their eyes met and Astoria saw the usual distrust in Weasley's eyes. Yet Weasley's eyes definitely weren't as harsh as they'd been about a minute ago. Ginny closed the door behind her and instantly slid to the floor; she was hyperventilating. What's happening to me? She asked, struggling to breathe. What's happening to me?

It took a while for Ginny to control herself but she found that she could do it better when she wasn't thinking about the bits of time she was losing in a day. After she showered, Ginny took a moment to really look at herself in the mirror. She touched her chin, seeing that it was beginning to feel tight. Two and a half weeks of imbalanced meals—that is, if they could be called meals. Ginny was visibly frailer. Nowadays, she didn't even crave food.

Instead, she craved knowledge. It was her power; it was the root of her greed. Ginny liked learning but she didn't like looking weak. She would do better, starting tomorrow. Maybe she could convince the twins into telling her the whereabouts of the kitchen. She came back into their room, seeing that Astoria had drawn the drapes around her bed closed. Ginny thought nothing more of her, choosing to clean the mess of books and parchments that she had scattered on her bed and floor.

Ginny closed her eyes, hearing a voice she imagined to be Tom's. Focus, it said and she did. With a wave of her wand, the books zoomed towards the top of her bureau and began arranging themselves in the order of her choosing. Another wave and the parchments flew together, rolling afterwards until they all were one.

Ginny smiled and climbed into bed. Her smile widened as the same voice before told her well done, Ginny.


Ginny now found herself sitting before Professor Snape. After their class, he'd told Ginny to report to him for "a talk" at 5pm. What Ginny had done, she didn't know. She hadn't destroyed any potions, but he'd barked at her in front of her classmates like she had. She wondered what the greasy-haired bat would have her do tonight. He was so unfair to her. Ginny hated him. He'd probably make her serve out the detention till the night's end. Ginny wouldn't even get to celebrate the Halloween feast with everyone else.

"Which seventh year was foolish enough to write your essay on the significance of moon phases in potion making, Weasley?" Snape asked sharply. Ginny found his black eyes to be almost captivating; she felt like she couldn't look away, even if she wanted to. "Answer me, girl. Now!"

"I wrote that essay, sir. All of it."

Snape would have said the girl was lying but he could see that she wasn't; it was all there in her mind. She had done her research incredibly well and structured her paper brilliantly. Her work was a masterpiece; Snape thought he was reading a Potions Master's work from a scholarly journal, not an eleven year olds writing. Her work had inspired him with past ideas that he'd never properly experimented on. She wrote that essay; he knew that much now.

But was she truly a potions prodigy or simply a good student?

"And who helped you?" Snape asked Ginny, who wanted to throw a tantrum and rage at him no one, you stupid man. Ginny, however, wisely held her tongue.

"Madam Pince showed me where the books I'd need for the essay were. Other than that, sir, no one."

Again, the girl was telling the truth. He peered into the surface of her mind, but before he could reach where he wanted to be, Weasley had looked away.

"Am I in trouble, professor?" Ginny asked, knowing that he couldn't keep her here or punish her for something he couldn't prove. Ginny would demand him to prove his accusations. Tom had told her to read Hogwarts, a History and Ginny was glad that she had, although it wasn't her favorite book like it was Tom's. Yet Ginny knew all of Hogwarts rules and so she knew Snape couldn't punish her. Let him try and Ginny would nicely go to the Headmaster.

"This evening, you will be brewing the Draught of Peace." Snape said, leaving the girl no room for argument as he stood from behind his desk in the classroom. "All that you need is behind you. Get started."

Ginny faltered, looking up at the Professor thoughtfully. So he knew she hadn't cheated. How? Ginny wondered. And what does he gain by me brewing him a Draught of Peace? Snape would not ask if he didn't want something, but what does he want?

"I can't, sir." Ginny lied and avoided meeting Snape's harsh stare. "I do not have the skill." Ginny lied again, knowing the admission was truly un-Slytherin like. Yet Ginny didn't want Snape knowing her true capabilities. She would show them all in her time, not his.

"You will make the potion or attempt to do as such." Snape said glacially.

Ginny faked fear as she walked over to the cauldron shyly with a slight tremor. The man loved fear; he was a black leech who thrived off of terrorizing his students. She began brewing and loved the overwhelming sense of complacency that filled her. Snape watched Weasley closely, noticing how much she had changed in disposition since he'd first spoken to her over a month and a half ago. Her eyes are different, he thought. Her eyes were shadowed; that shadow seemed to be snuffing out the girl's inner warmth by each growing second. Although Severus had never promised Dumbledore that he would ensure the girl's welfare, he still took the well-being of his students very seriously. Weasley simply did not look well; even that pompous brother of hers had noticed how pale the girl looked. After all, he'd forced her to take Pepper Up potion. Something was happening to the girl; he just didn't know what exactly.

Ginny found herself losing focus halfway through the potion. A wave of exhaustion was building within her; it existed everywhere in her body. She just wanted to sleep and to be anywhere other than there. Snape, however, wouldn't let her leave. Staying in the moment was becoming increasingly harder with each passing second. The exhaustion was overpowering her. That was when it happened. Ginny accidentally dropped the wrong ingredient in the potion and everything erupted around her. The force of the blast threw her back as if she was weightless and her head collided hard with something. She felt pain explode everywhere. Worst of all, she couldn't move.

"You imbecilic girl." Snape shouted, moving quickly to her side and checking her vitals with his wand. "Stay still. I shall return momentarily."

Ginny could hear his footsteps fading; honestly, at that moment, everything around her seemed to be fading. Her grasp on reality was becoming clouded and veiled; it frightened her. Yet that fear wasn't enough to stop whatever it was happening to her. Her pain wasn't enough to bring her back to reality. The veil was becoming thicker before her eyes; Ginny's head was pounding. She could feel the sick at the back of her throat rising.

Snape reentered the room, and again, rushed to the girl's side. He found her hyperventilating on the ground. After grabbing her chin and tilting it back, he found that her eyes were dilated. Snape gave Weasley a Replenishing Draught, a Muscle Relaxant, a stimulant, and a potion for the concussion that she had suffered; all of them would allow her to reach her room alone tonight. Yet, after three minutes, the girl's eyes were still out of focus. Her mishap with this potion hadn't been significant enough to affect her (or anyone for that matter) like this. Severus knew he would have to take her to Poppy.

"Weasley," Snape said sharply. The girl's eyes were closing and so he shook her but she remained unresponsive. He knew that shaking her had to be a painful thing in itself to endure but the girl didn't seem to register anything around her. "Weasley, stay awake."

Ginny's eyes were feeling heavier. Her vision was so black now, but even she recognized her most hated professor's eyes.

"Sir." Ginny said faintly. It was the last thing she'd consciously said that night.

The pale-faced, fragile girl's eyes closed. Severus swore and then conjured a stretcher for Weasley. Next, he levitated her out of his classroom and through the dark dungeons. Most students were in the Great Hall (or were running toward the place) for the Halloween feast. As Severus entered the hospital wing with Weasley floating behind him, he saw how empty the infirmary was. Undoubtedly, the monsters had convinced the matron to release them early for that ridiculous celebration. Snape had never like Halloween; he hated it even more after he lost Lily.

"Severus," Poppy said surprisingly, walking down the aisle toward him. She leaned to his right in order to see Weasley on the stretcher behind him. "Put her here. What happened?" Poppy asked, moving her wand over the girl's body. She was performing the exact same diagnostic spells that he himself already had.

"There was an accident while she was brewing the Draught of Peace." Snape answered bluntly.

Before he could continue, Poppy stopped him with that fierce glare of hers. "That's almost a sixth year potion, Severus. What were you thinking endangering her like that? I have a mind to tell Albus."

"I believed her…capable." He said harshly, glaring down at Weasley. "Clearly, she is incompetent."

The matron stared at him over her shoulder, surveying him coldly. "I daresay that she is not the only one who's incompetent, Professor."

Severus decided to hold his tongue. Already, he was chastising himself for letting Weasley get anywhere near those ingredients. The girl had told him she could not do it but he'd been so sure. The notion of teaching a student with a natural talent for the art of potion-making had made him lose reason and Weasley had paid for his error.

"I've checked her vitals. Whatever this is, it's not a result of the potion." Poppy said, confirming his suspicions and continuing. "She's anemic—I don't understand it. Molly would know something like this about her own daughter and yet she didn't mention anything about anemia in the letter she sent about Ginny's past medical history—and, yes, she does that for all ofher children, Severus. It's not required, of course, but it's good to have around just in case something happens. Her anemia is severe. How she's lasted this long is…remarkable."

"I have potions for this." Severus said thoughtfully, looking down at the unconscious girl in deep thought.

"I'm going to need them." The matron said, looking away from the girl to meet his gaze. "I'll take good care of her." She said, dismissing him.

Snape gave her a cold look, holding back the sneer he wanted to unleash. "I want a report on her state soon." He said, departing the infirmary without so much as a backward glance.

The girl was a Weasley; she, however, was still his student. That was the last thought he spared the Weasley brat before heading to that wretched Halloween feast.


Ginny sat in the tub, not really registering the shower water that was cascading down her body. She just felt cold; she was cold all over. Ginny knew it wasn't because the water; it was really hot. It was something within her that was becoming ice, growing increasingly colder. The chill was all she could feel for the past two hours—that and the fear.

She'd woken up this morning to find herself curled up in a broom cupboard on the first floor. Ginny's robes had been torn; the inside of them were lined with feathers and blood. She knew exactly where they'd come from. She'd visited Hagrid's enough this year to know his own rooster. Ginny liked the half giant's company. Hagrid was kind and compassionate. He really listened to her and was one of the few people who took her seriously. Yes, Ginny also hoped she could talk to Ron, Harry, and Hermione there without everyone in the Great Hall looking at her funny. Yet, being around the half-giant made her feel like a Gryffindor, like Ginny belonged.

She'd helped Hagrid feed those roosters, just as she'd helped him grow his pumpkins so large. She'd killed a friend's pet, and since Ginny didn't think of herself as stupid, then she thought that it was her who'd written The Chamber of Secrets has been opened. Enemies of the Heir beware on the wall in blood.

Ginny couldn't even remember what had happened that night. It took her an hour just to remember the explosion she'd caused in Professor Snape's classroom with the Draught of Peace, but after that, Ginny could remember nothing else. She didn't even know how she'd ended up in that broom cupboard. She'd just came to and found herself in bloody robes that were infested with feathers.

Somehow, she knew she'd hurt Mrs. Norris and wrote those words on the wall. But how? She wondered. How am I doing things that I can't even remember?

Ginny thought that she should tell someone about her suspicions, but what if someone was framing her to get her expelled? What if they really expel me, Ginny thought. She was panicked by the mere thought of leaving Hogwarts forever? No, Ginny said to herself. I'll handle this myself. Ginny lay under the water, using every fiber of her being to focus on what she was truly feeling at the moment. It should have been something that was entirely natural to her, and yet, Ginny couldn't go far beyond the overwhelming numbness and cold. There were undercurrents of fear, but the fear wasn't consistent in its presence. The fear felt like her; it was familiar. Yet the cold and ever growing detachment was so embedded within her that it seemed natural.

It was becoming more and more natural with each day.

Ginny didn't care as much that her family, Harry, and Hermione ignored her; she no longer cared about practicing certain vicious spells on owls, cats, and a few toads. She enjoyed going overboard in her revenge against Malfoy, because it pleased her to see his fear. Ginny liked threatening Astoria because it made her feel more powerful than the beautiful, arrogant girl who knew she was Ginny's superior. Ginny knew it was wrong but she could not find it within herself to care enough.

You care out of duty, a voice that sounded like her whispered in her mind. Caring impedes your happiness, your desires, your wants.

Tom had been right: Choosing for one's self was good. It certainly felt good.

Yet this lack of control over herself;this murdering of roosters and fatally harming cats was not something that Ginny ever imagined was for the good of herself. She hated it. What is happening to me?

Ginny would have to do research before asking Tom; he now liked for her to find her own answers now before asking him. Ginny stepped out of the shower and dried herself and her hair. As Weasley came out of the Loo, Astoria watched the girl crawl underneath the sheets of her bed. The redhead pulled out a leather-bound black book, but rather than writing in it like Astoria thought she would, Weasley held it closer to her and closed her eyes to sleep.

She closed her red eyes to sleep.

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