..O_O

...O_____o

Okay. I am surprised (pleasantly) and delighted at the reviews! Okay yeah its only 5 but that's a little more than I get after releasing my first chapters of my fics. Usually. I thought not many people would wanna read this cuz...it aint 2769 or whatever warped pairing.

Thus, I bring thee all the Torture of Hibari Kyouya. (insert ebil laugh and lightning and thunder)

Disclaimer: I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. Heck, I don't even own a single piece of its MERCHANDISE.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"...I'll bite you herbivores to death if you don't get out of this corridor. You're crowding up the place. And why are you all in a group again? Stupid herbivores."

"...Hi...Hibari-san! Uh...we'll get...out...now!" Tsuna stuttered pathetically (as usual) and was about to drag his friends away but remembered the reason they were trying to stick together.

"Hibari-san...um, just to warn you. There are ...fangirls around in here! Be..uh, careful!" Then he ran off with Gokudera and Yamamoto on his heels.

Hibari frowned (okay he frowns all the time. Let's say he frowned even MORE...if that was even possible). "These herbivores fear a bunch of silly girls?"

Deep within his heart, though, something stirred.

Something that hadn't stirred for a long, long time.

Tee hee hee hee hee...!!!

o0o0o0oo0o

Hibari was lying on the rooftops as usual, with little Hibird fluttering about.

Then he heard the Namimori school song being played. Hibird landed next to Hibari's head.

He frowned. He looked at Hibird. Hibird turned his head and looked back at Hibari. His beak was full of bird seed that Hibari had left in a little bowl beside his head.

Now evidently something was wrong.

Hibari set his handphone to vibration AND sound. Since his pant pocket was not vibrating...

It obviously wasn't Hibird...unless that creep Birds had taught his birds to be ventriloquists, which would have been very cool yet very unlikely.

...it was midway through lessons, therefore the school song had already been sung earlier that day.

So this is Hibari Kyouya we're talking about. Super paranoid, possible asexual totally antisocial head prefect of Namimori school. He jumped up...smoothly, of course. To panic would be...un-Hibari-ish. He wielded his tonfas of utter destruction, and looked around. Hibird flew around and started soaring toward the big pillar thingy that they have on the roof.

Hibari walked toward the pillar thingy. "I'll give you three seconds to come out, or I'll bite you to...???"

When he said "I'll bite you to", a squeal was heard from behind the pillar. This was strange. After all, Hibari was used to hearing screams of fear, or pain, or ...stuff. Not...excitement? Happiness? Elation? Clearly he was up against someone who was of a different fighting calibre altogether.

"I'm coming." He growled softly, in that menacing voice that sends chills down most human beings.

Of course, it didn't send any chills of fear down this enemy...unless it was chills of...never mind. As Hibari neared the pillar, a sparkling figure leapt out toward him.

Hibari Kyouya. Freaky pro-fighter who never dies (even when you want him to). If he couldn't defend himself in his own territory, he wouldn't be the Cloud Guardian, or the freaky scary head prefect of the school for years. He easily evaded the attack and whacked the figure away onto the floor. A scream of terror was heard. Now, that's more like it, thought our crazy head prefect.

He stepped over to the person. It was...a girl? "I don't recognise your school uniform. You're not from here. How did you get in here and what do you want?" Hibari smirked, holding the tonfa at her lower back. "It doesn't matter. What matters is that I get to bite someone to..."

"EEEEEEEEE!!!" went the girl. It was the same happy squeal that Hibari had heard when he approached the pillar. What the hell is wrong with this woman? he thought. (A/N: ...I figured Hibari would be the type who says WTH with a hell and not WTH as in heck, despite my....aversion to vulgarity. But whatever. Continue reading)

"YESYESHIBARI-SAMA! BITE ME TO DEATH!" The girl squealed, and sparkled even brighter. Hibari's thoughts went along the lines of "...is she mad." and "...is she some enemy Guardian of Sun or something? Because as far as I know, humans don't sparkle like that. (Unless they are silly vampires but then that's not human so whatever)."

The surprise led Hibari to tense up, and the girl still remained. Hibari was puzzled.

"...woman, there are no mental hospitals in the vicinity. Where have you come from?"

The girl jumped up as Hibari withdrew his tonfa. She beamed happily at him, screamed (happily), and threw herself at him. Again.

Hibari was prepared, and counter whacked her with his tonfas over the side of the building. He peered over.

She was no where to be seen.

Again, the chill ran down his spine. As the wind blew, he heard the faint sound of an excited squeal...

o0o0o0o00o0o0o0o

Hibari was just...hanging out with Hibird in the school corridors. It was nice and quiet because it was after school. Staring/stoning out of the window, he watched the empty courtyard with the trees swaying, and the birds flying and cheeping. Hibird suddenly set off from the sill and soared around. Hibari watched his pretty little bird fly about (A/N:...dang, this sounds like he's...Hibirdsexual or something. BLEAH).

Then something strange happened.

Hibird, being the overweight ball of bright yellow fluff, was unmistakable in the sky, flying about very clearly to one's eye. There was only one Hibird.

...then why were there two overweight balls of fluff floating in the air?

Was that creep Birds back? Were there left over birds that someone still owned? More importantly, was that bird going to do anything to Hibird? Note here that Hibari fights with tonfas, which are not long-range weapons, which makes killing a (mocking)bird a bit hard.

"Hibird. Return." He said just loud enough to reach Hibird's ...ears. (...birds don't really HAVE ears but they do have some hearing hole thing I think...) Hibird turned and soared back toward Hibari. The second 'Hibird' followed.

As Hibird neared, Hibari opened the window a bit wider, jumped onto the sill, and with lightning quick reflexes grabbed the imposter bird. In desperation, the bird started singing the Namimori school song.

A distance away, the breaking of a bird's neck was heard, along with the soft mutter of "...it was singing in the wrong key."

Attached to the dead bird's leg was a note. It had Hibari Kyouya written on the outside in flowery pink handwriting.

It read:

"Hibari-sama~ 3
To bridge our hearts together, I think it best for Hibird and Hinabird to get together as a signi..."

Hibari is not a romantic. Even if he was, it wasn't going to stop him from not reading the whole letter, shredding it to bits with his tonfa, chucking it into a fire, and scrubbing his hands (as well as poor Hibird) when he got home.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Another horrible event nearly cost the fangirl population of Namimori extinction.

For some reason, Reborn had organised a weird gathering that even Hibari had to go for. But of course to say he was forced would be a bruise to his pride. He insisted the only reason he went was because of boredom. Which was true, of course.

Hibari and Gokudera were sparring, and Gokudera was losing (A/N: NUUUU...I'm sorry. Continue reading). Hibari raised his tonfas...

...when suddenly a loud cheer came from behind the hill behind the seven Guardians and Reborn's gathering place.

"WE LOVE YOU HIBARI KYOUYA-SAMAAAAA~~~!!!"

Hibari's eye twitched. Gokudera calmly pulled out 5 large sticks of dynamite, lit them, and passed them to Hibari.

Hibari wordlessly chucked them toward the hill.

Not too far away, Sawada Nana looked out of the window toward the hill. "Ooh, fireworks!"

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

OKAY THAT WAS ...quite long.

Now, OMAKE (because my crazy friends suggested it. Blame them)

The whole Vongola family is going on vacation! Suggested by Reborn, of course. Which also suggested vigorous training, but when has Tsuna ever been able to refuse Reborn's lovely offers?

Now everything was going smoothly until they reached the checkpoint place.

Gokudera: YOU WANT ME TO GIVE YOU MY #$#$ING DYNAMITE?

Guard guy:...Yes.

Gokudera:...ROCKET BOMB!!!

Guard guy and Tsuna: AIEEEEEEEEEE!!!

not too far away:

Guard guy 2: ..sir, these...weapons are not allowed on board.

Hibari:...(evil glare of DOOOM) Are you telling me you want to take my tonfas away?

Guard guy 2:...well, just keep it here for safekeeping, you're not allowed to...

Hibari:...(intensified evil glare of DOOOM)...are you telling me what I'm allowed or not allowed to do?

Guard guy 2:...ye-

...the poor guy didn't even complete his one word answer.

...REVIEWS!