The next day, the story was everywhere. The bad guys were in jail, the babies' cheques were being returned and Brian was given a medal for his brave deeds by Mayor West (even though it didn't meant he liked him any better).
That night the family were celebrating Brian's good deed. Then the doorbell rang. Brian walked to the door and opened it. He was surprised, but happy surprised. It was his animal friends and their baby friends with them.
"My family are so busy tonight so Suzy and I thought we could come over and thank you properly," smiled Helen, getting him a big martini bottle.
"Oh, thank you, Helen," said Brian, taking it. But it wasn't the drink that made him happy.
"Since Mr. and Mrs. Gregton is away for vacation and can't take Benny with them, we swipe this red wine out of his cabernet for you," said Jack, giving it to Brian.
"Oh, you shouldn't have," said Brian.
"Here, get these old-as-the-hills rum bottles down your throat," said Arnold. "It'll help you to get up in the morning and help you focus on what you do. The farmer won't miss them. He's too busy picking up sheep, chicken and pig crap."
"Hey, Lois, I think I need something like that in the morning," said Peter.
"No, Peter! You don't need anything!" Lois told him. "Remember when you took those fat-losing pills?"
Peter had taken some weight-losing pills and he shrunk like a milk carton, as if all the milk had been slurped out.
Soon, everyone was eating.
"Lucky I made enough," smiled Lois.
"Well, I can tell you've worked very hard on this, Mrs. Griffin," Helen said. "This is excellent."
"Thank you, Helen," smiled Lois. She saw Brian smiling at the white cat. "Oh, do I sense something in you? Either the Force or a love for that cat."
"No, Lois!" snapped Brian. "Have you been smoking pot again? You know, I hate cats! I'm just being polite. Like the rich and famous people are to their colleagues and their fans but not to their families."
One day, there was a rich and famous actor who was looked very well-meaning and was very polite to his colleagues whoever he worked with and his fans waiting for him outside a movie premiere. But when he got home and his family was waiting, he would say to his wife, "Where's my beer, bitch?", he would say to his son, "What's for my tea?" and when he would speak to his daughter, he would notice her in a new dress and say, "A new dress? Wasting more money on more dresses? You guys are a f****** disgrace!"
The next morning, Lois got up to wash the pots, tidy up the house and make breakfast for the entire family. When she got up, she saw the house spotless and breakfast already made on the table.
"Oh, my god! This is wonderful!" cheered Lois. The rest of the family came down.
"Oh, boy, Lois!" exclaimed Peter. "How did you do it all in two minutes?"
"I don't know!" panted Lois happily. "Maybe it's a miracle."
But Brian knew who really did it. He soon drove all the way to an isolated farm in Quahog countryside. He knocked on the door of the house and the person he wanted to see answered it. "Brian!" greeted Helen. "What are you doing here?"
"I want to thank you for that kind deed you did for Lois," replied Brian.
"More than Jesus ever did!" chuckled Helen. She and Brian laughed. "Come in and meet my family."
Brian followed her into the old and snug house. "You know Suzy."
Suzy was playing with dolls with knives and guns! "Oh, you didn't bring Stewie? I would've given him the best welcome I could give him!" She got out a shotgun and loaded it.
Brian and Helen moved on and she introduced the only son who went by the name of Ed who was ugly, wore a blue hat and glasses. He seemed to be the male spitting version of Meg. Christine was the oldest daughter in the family and the female version of Chris Griffin. The ginger Boris was like a male version of Lois Griffin and, finally but not least, Helen's owner and best friend, there was the female version of Peter Griffin... Bruce Firebird!
After an enjoyable visit, Brian went back to his house and found the Griffins looking fed up. "What's up with everyone?" he asked.
"I'm doing more duties at work, because Angela has sacked people to save money," Peter moaned.
"The housework is never done," sighed Lois.
"My life of bullying will never end!" complained Meg.
"I'm in need for some boob!" shouted Chris.
"I feel like killing the entire human race!" shouted Stewie.
"All right, calm down, everyone!" shouted Brian. He shouted at the top of his lungs that everyone obeyed him. "Now, tomorrow if no one's too busy, I would like to take you somewhere that will cheer you up."
"Like when you took us to that boring Giant Redwood Forest?" Peter reminded him
When the Griffins went to discover the Giant Redwood Forest on vacation, the only one who didn't like it was Peter. "This is boring! This is so boring!" he would complain. "With a big forest like this, why worry about global warming or climate change?" Then an ewok would appear out every now and again. "Oh, I hate you guys!" Peter would say and he would grab his Imperial blaster and shoot him.
"Peter, that's the hundredth ewok you shot!" Lois shouted, when the journey in the forest ended.
"No, Peter, this will be better, I promise," said Brian.
The next day, Brian took his family to the Firebird Farm. You know Brian and Helen were very happy to see each other and Stewie and Suzy were trying to fight each other for the ultimate power over the world. But the rest were really warming up to each other. They were just being polite and not talking much.
But when Ed went to check the wheat fields, he was greeted by a bunch of wolves – the same wolves that storks the farm.
"Look, guys, how many times have I told you guys to piss off?" Ed snapped at them.
"When are you guys going to find it in your heart to help a poor family?" asked the leader of the pack. "And don't give me those charities for wolves crap! Now just a mouthful and we'll get off your land."
The wolves started to charge for the wheat, but then they stopped. "Eugh! Is that your girlfriend?"
Ed turned around to see Meg. "Meg?"
"Two disgusting people together?"
"That's the grossest thing I've ever seen!"
"Let's go!" ordered the leader.
Meg sadly turned away, but Ed stopped in front of her. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to make you look so bad – "
"Wherever I go, I look bad, even from my parents," he said. "Thank you for helping me." Then he kissed her.
At the stables, Christine was mucking out the horses.
"Come on! Where's our new fresh straw?" the horses would tease her.
"Nowhere if you don't control those sausages that come out of your asses!" Christine shouted.
Then, to make matters worse, a bunch of crows flew in. "Since you're cleaning out toilets, mind if we do our business here? Of course not," said one. Then they all did their business.
Christine was getting really pissed off. Then she saw the crows screaming and flying away. The horses were getting scared too and they run out of their pens and trotted into the fields. Christine turned around to see Chris dressed in rotten and stinking hay.
"I thought a scarecrow could come in handy or in straws," he said.
Christine hugged him. "Wow! You are scary yet funny and you're disgusting yet sexy."
Chris smiled and out of his head shot a jack-in-the-box version of Chris holding a "Jackpot" sign.
Back at the house, after a delicious dinner, Lois felt like helping Boris tidy up afterwards.
"Really, Lois, you don't have to help," said Boris politely. "I'm quite use to doing everything around here."
"So am I back at my house," said Lois. "Do you ever get the feeling that you run the whole house and the whole family, even though your wife makes the decisions and pays for everything, Boris?"
"Yes, I do," replied Boris. "You can't image how thick Bruce is!"
Boris can never forget all the times when Bruce asked him what the different between a can of tomato soup and a bottle of tomato sauce. She can never remember how to use the toilet, so she uses Helen's cat litter. Bruce always bumps and crashes into things, because she never remembers to clean her glasses, so every time a horse or a pig shoots something at her, she thinks a meteorite is coming to Earth.
"But I love Bruce with all my heart," said Boris.
"And I love Peter with all my heart," smiled Lois. They were looking at each other romantically.
And so for the next weeks, everything was going well for both families. At James Woods High, Meg and Ed were seen together a lot. They seem really happy together and weren't letting anyone get them down.
Although Meg's enemy Connie D'Amico was still picking on her, Ed had an idea. He made his rival, Jimmy Hemmend, the school's most popular boy, chase him and Jimmy bumped into Connie. They carried on dating for weeks and weeks. But what they didn't realise was that Ed and Meg was spying on them and video-recording them.
Then one night when they were having sex at a drive-in movie theatre, the police arrived to arrest them! Jimmy was arrested for raping Connie stated by Ed and Connie was arrested for having an abortion stated by Meg! And both of their parents were very angry by this that they weren't going to bail them!
When Connie was thrown in her cell at the female prison, she saw Meg outside. "How's your room in this palace, your Bee Highness?" she chuckled.
"I'll get you for this, Griffin!" snapped Connie. But Meg pulled her middle finger up at her and walked away.
At the male prison, on the outside, Ed waved and said to Jimmy in his cell, "Popular isn't everything. The law proves it."
"But when I get out and become famous, Firebird, I will be so powerful and have you killed legally!"
But Ed scoffed as he walked away.
Chris enjoyed every little second with Christine. Every day after school, he would come to Firebird Farm and help her – playing with the disgusting straw, joining a mud bath with the pigs and having a thrill ride on... a 1903 steam roll tractor!
The rest of the families were getting along with each other, except the babies who just fought and fought with each other, but no one gave a damn, not even Brian and Helen. But they were so happy that...
"You're getting married?" exclaimed Lois and Boris.
"That's right!" yelled Helen, shaking her glass of red wine.
"That make you happy, Lois?" asked Brian, drunkenly spilling his glass of martini.
"Well, I don't want to ruin your happiness, but – "
"Well, it makes me happy, even if you don't give a damn!" the dog snapped.
"Me too!" joined in Helen.
"Hey, don't talk to Lois like that, Helen!" yelled Boris.
"Hey, why should a creature with nine lives listen to an ape that wastes his only one life destroying this planet like the rest of the ape race?"
"Well, I have only one life and I want to spend the rest of it with the female creature I've been searching my whole life," said Brian.
"Dad, have you seen Mom or Peter?" asked Ed, coming through with Meg. "We haven't seen them all week!"
Then Channel Five News came on. "Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker," said Tom.
"And I'm Joyce Kidney," joined in Joyce.
"Tonight we are getting reports all over Quahog," Tom said. "There are reports of sheep, pigs and even beetles being let out of their farms, there are reports of banks being robbed and the homeless getting the money what they need and there are reports of building equipment being destroyed due to a message saying, 'You rich and pollution-making bastards aren't going to change the world like this!'"
"Peter!" sighed Brian.
"Bruce!" moaned Helen.
"Baby Face Nelson!" cried Suzy. Stewie came in dressed like Nelson and fired a Tommy gun! A toy Tommy gun!
But the babies have discovered that everyone has left the room.
"You try and be nice and show it and what do you get? Nothing!" complained Suzy.
"You took the words right out of my mouth," smiled a surprised Stewie.
