Jaded

By SarahFish

Chapter 2


"Zeb…."

"ZEB…"

"ZEB!"

He frowned, willed his sluggish eyes to open. He'd been lost somewhere in a dream-forest full of glowing blue trees when Jade's voice pulled him back to consciousness, and the sooner he was able to go back, the better. Now that he was awake, he was aware that his whole body ached, back and shoulders sore from lifting corpses with Cyrus all night. Christ, even his fingers hurt, joints swollen and palms blistered from handling syringe after syringe.

"What?" he asked, pushing himself up onto his elbows. Tried to focus on the redheaded shadow next to his bed. The window behind her was still dark. Thank God for some small favors, at least.

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" she whispered. He sighed, collapsed back onto the mattress, burying his face into his pillow. A feather poked into his cheek. He swatted at it, sending it away from his cheek and up his nose.

"Fucking…shit." He sneezed. "Hate these goddamned feathers. Jadie…" he paused, realized he sounded cross. "Jadiebell, it's been six months. Can't you sleep in your own bed yet?"

The mattress sagged as the little girl leaned against it, laying her head on his shoulder. "Please, Z? It's too big in this house. I'm scared," she whispered.

He sighed, rolled over, lifting the quilt for her. "Come on in, I suppose. Jesus your feet are cold," he hissed as she crawled in beside him. She spooned against him, wrapping his arm around her shoulders like a blanket. "We used to live in a graveyard, kiddo. The hell you have to be scared of in here?"

Jadie shrugged. "I just don't like it, s'all." She worried at a strand of hair, winding it around her fingers before putting it into her mouth.

"Hey, don't chew on your hair," Zeb said, smoothing the strand back into place. "Besides, you'll hurt Cyrus' feelings if you talk like that."

"Don't like him, either," she replied.

"Jadie…he could have just as easily left us in the graveyard. But he took us in. At least try to be grateful for that. He makes me damn uncomfortable at times too. Comes with the business, though, I guess."

Jade rolled over to look at her brother. "That's the only reason he did it, though. He wasn't up to the job anymore, so he found someone who was. You're keeping his business afloat, and he's reaping all the credit."

Zeb frowned. He wished he could explain…put into words the exact nature of their business relationship. Sure, he worked himself into exhaustion for the old grave robber. But Cyrus kept a roof over their heads and food in their bellies. He peddled drugs for him, but Zeb was learning from the old man at the same time. He'd learned which chemicals and compounds to blend with raw Zydrate to produce different effects in the user. Hyzapril for euphoria. Tercontin for psychosis. Learned how to hook new customers by giving a high quality hit to first-time users, and keep them coming back often by producing mediocre product for their return visits. Then he remembered that he was trying to rationalize himself to a nine year old who, for all that she'd seen, still had an innocent black-and-white view of the world, and decided to keep his mouth shut.

"You're really getting too old for this," he finally said. "Should be sleeping in your own bed."

"That's what he said too," Jadie murmured, pulling her knees to her chest.

"What?" he asked, not sure he'd heard correctly.

"Cyrus. Told me I was too big to be sleeping with you," she replied.

"Well, maybe he's right," Zeb said, trying to decipher Jade's tone of voice.

"No!" she shouted, startling him as she sat up, throwing the quilt off. "No, you don't understand anything! He…" she sighed, waving her hands in the air, searching for the words. "He….argh…never mind." Jade threw herself back down onto the mattress, covering her face with her pillow.

"Wha….Jadie. What's wrong, kiddo?" he asked, touching her arm. She rolled over, turning her back on him.

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong. I just….I have nightmares when I sleep in there. I didn't at first, but I do now. But I don't when I sleep in here with you. You'll keep me safe, though, right? You won't let anything happen to me…" she turned back to him, fear glittering in her eyes, visible even in the semi-darkness.

"Hey, kid," he said, pulling her into a hug. "Anything comes through that door'll have to get through me first. And I don't think it's chances of getting that far are very good."

He lay awake for a long while after Jadie had finally dropped off to sleep. Tried to piece together the different bits of thought floating around his head into a cohesive whole. Failed. Maybe if he closed his eyes, things would make more sense...

The next thing he knew, Cyrus was shaking him awake, scowling down at them.

"Get up," he said, throwing a bag of tools onto the bed. "We have work to do."


A/N: There's a bit of a viewpoint shift going on here. I'm trying to move more from looking down at GR from the outside to looking out from inside his head. I'm toying with the idea of shifting the viewpoint on the first chapter as well....thoughts? Which do you, the reader, prefer? Omniscient viewpoint, or the more intimate one? Inquiring minds want to know!

Other thoughts....on the ages of the characters...initially I'd intended them to be ten and six when Cyrus took them in, but the more I feel out the characters, the more I think it's too young. In this chapter, they're about 12 and 9....discrepancies and inconsistencies will, of course, be addressed by some future revision....