Chapter Two: Trust Issues

He sat in his car watching the windows freeze over. He had been watching her apartment for over an hour now. Even though all the lights were off and he knew she must be asleep, he couldn't convince himself to drive away.

During those long, hard months he had longed just to see her…to touch her. Even now that everything was back to "normal," he couldn't gather the nerve to talk to her. He didn't know how she'd react….

He had tried to call her several times, but he could never hit the "send" button. In the back of his mind and heart, he knew that this couldn't be done in a phone call. She deserved more than that—much more than that. He needed to be a man and do this in person.

But the courage wasn't in him tonight. He finally started the car and drove off, hoping that next time he would be able to do face her.


Jordan yawned as she stepped off the elevator and into the morgue. Her sleep habits hadn't improved any, and that combined with working way too much overtime was taking its toll on her.

As she walked down the hallway to her office, Jordan heard a familiar voice call her name.

"Jordan! Hey, wait up!" Woody half-ran the distance between him and her. Inwardly, Jordan groaned. Woody was the one person with whom she wanted absolutely no contact. He was the only one she had actively avoided. There was so much water under the bridge between them, and she didn't have the energy to sort it out again.

Woody reached her just as she opened her office door. "Hey," he said. "You got a minute?"

"Uh…sure," Jordan said reluctantly. "What there something on a case…?"

"No…no," he answered. "I just wanted to talk. We haven't had a chance to really be together since you got…back."

"Yeah, I know," she acknowledged. "But I'm kind of busy…how about some other time?"

Unfortunately, Woody didn't take the hint. "You're always busy. We need to talk now." His voice had taken on a more authoritative tone. "We need to figure out where we stand with each other…where we want to go."

Jordan sighed. He was pushing…she hadn't been back for two months and he was pushing her for a commitment. Did he think that she just went on an extended vacation? Did he think that she could just hop back into her old life like nothing had happened? Did he even care that something had?

"Woody, there's nothing to talk about," she began. "I don't want to take any steps toward any relationships right now. I'm not done sorting out everything yet."

"Come on, Jordan. What's there to sort out?" Woody asked. "He's dead, and he isn't coming back. You need to move on."

Her eyes stung at his words, but Jordan kept her emotions at bay. "I know that," she said softly. "And I'm trying to move on…but I'm not ready yet." She took a breath; she might as well be completely honest. "And…I'll never be ready with you."

Woody was taken aback slightly. "Jordan, what do you mean? I'm not with Lu anymore…I thought…."

"Just because you're available doesn't mean I want to jump back into your arms." Jordan kept her voice even. The last thing she wanted to do was fight.

"But we…the Inn…," Woody struggled to put his thoughts together.

"That was before you were with Lu," she reminded him. "Just because you broke up…it's not enough, Woody."

"Why not?"

"Because, I gave you everything," she began. "That night, I didn't just give you my body…I gave you my mind and heart, too. I'd never done that with anyone before…I thought you loved me. Afterwards, I even gave up a man who also loved me and who was willing to overlook the way I'd hurt him."

Jordan paused then, her mind consumed in the memories. It all seemed so long ago…

"And then you went to Lu. You took everything that I gave you, and you threw it back in my face." Jordan finished her explanation and turned away.

Woody came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. She pulled away from him. "Jordan, I'm so sorry," he said. "I never should have done that…I should have given you more of a chance. I promise that will never happen again. I'll be here to stay this time, Jordan."

She faced him then. "That's just it, Woody," she said. "How can I know that? How can I know that you won't walk right on out the next time you meet another pretty blond girl? I won't do it again, Woody. I can't take that risk. I don't trust you."

When she said that, Woody's eyes dropped. "I'm sorry," he said one more time.

"I know," she replied. "But it doesn't change anything….Now, could you leave? Just…please leave."

He looked at her one last time, but her eyes said she was done talking. His shoulders sagged, defeated, and he walked back down the hallway.

When he was out of sight, Jordan sighed in relief. It was finally over. She didn't feel sadness, or loss…she had too many other overwhelming emotions to deal with right now. She was just glad that she could put Woody behind her.