Hey guys, I think i might post a chapter every week. Thanks for all your support.
"Anyone want some hot coco?" A nightly tradition at our New
York apartment. As we all sat around the table the conversation I had been
dreading was finally arriving. "So what are you going to say to
Finn?" After a long pause not knowing what to say I answered "I don't
know I guess I will wing it, you can't really plan these things. Can we please
not talk about my life, eats talk about Kurt's? Adam or Blaine?" Now we
were talking bps out Kurt's problems and he really hated it. "Why do we
have to talk about my problems? We do we even have to talk about problems at
all?" We all laughed a little but were interrupted by a knock on the door.
"I will get it" I just didn't want to continue the 'problems'
conversation. As I walked to the door I was nervous my problems were just going
to punch me in the face and that was exactly what happened I now had to make my
decision on the spot. "Who is it?" Kurt asked. I stayed quiet then
started running...
I could tell that Kurt and Santana were confused as to why I was running, bare
footed, thin clothed into the freezing cold New York winter night. "Finn,
Finn" I was running through the not so crowded streets chasing after Finn.
As I caught up to him I was out of breath and about to get frost bite.
"Finn, I, and I just, I choose you... I can't imagine a life without you
in my life, it's a lifeless life. I knew from the moment we met I loved you. It
was love at first sight and two people who have been through as much as we have
don't just separate, we were engaged and I ruined that. I don't care if I have
to fight for you for a year or twenty years, you are my boyfriend and we are
endgame." He smiled and laughed that I quoted him. "I love you!"
He smiled once again but this time realising how cold I was and gave me his
coat. For the first time in months I was in his arms not Body's but Finn, my
one true love 3 as we kissed it started to snow "it's like a fairy
tale" I was the happiest I could be.
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"Rach I can't stay long I have to go back to my hotel and pack otherwise I
will miss my flight." I was
drowning in his words "flight you mean you are really leaving?" I
knew the happiness wouldn't last. "Look Finn I didn't just say what I said
because I wanted you to leave I said that because I wanted you to stay"
the look on Finns face, I knew there was more too it but I was too afraid to
ask. "Rach" he laughed a little. "I need to tell you
something" I started to worry "I got into NYU". I went into immediate shock. "What? Are
you serious?" I started jumping up and down and got a little too excited
for everyone's choosing but I didn't care, Finn was going to be moving here, to
New York. "This feels like a fairy tale that's about to go wrong, this
much happiness never lasts." I started to worry that someone was going to
die or get severely injured or my apartment was going to burn down. In life you
get things thrown at you without knowing what to do. But for now I just had to
be thankful for what I have and enjoy every minute of it. "Let's go home"
home I liked the Sunday of that and truth be told it wasn't a home until Finn
was there to call it his home as well. As we walked home I knew I was going to
be judged by both Kurt and Santana but this was Finn, they would have to deal
with it.
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"Rachel are you going to tell Finn I mean are you going to tell anyone?
Are you going to get an abortion? You really need to think about this"
Santana's words were repeating in my head. It had been 10 weeks since I fell
pregnant and it doesn't look like anything. I really needed to go to the doctor
but I was too afraid. What if something was wrong? But for now I had to get on
my day.
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NYADA was starting to get annoying bumping into so many people that knew Brody
and I broke up. They all just stared at me like I was crazy for breaking up
with him, if only they knew the whole story. "Kurt, do you have a
sec?" I didn't know what I was about to say I just needed to talk to him
for emotional support before I went to the doctors. "Hey rach, you will
never believe what just happened." He was getting so excited "I was
in drama and for once my teacher asked me to perform in front of the class and
I nailed it." "I am so proud of you." He was so happy I couldn't
ruin his mood. Well I have got to go, I will see you at home and I might be a
bit late tonight.
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"Miss Rachel Berry" as the doctor called my name I was so scared I
almost ran out of the doctors surgery. I took a deep breath and walked over to
the doctor waiting for me. I walked into his room and sat down on the chair
next to his desk; I got changed and sat on the weird bed I have seen in movies
and movies only. "Miss Berry this might feel a little cold" he
squeezed the paste into my stomach and watched the screen. He looked uncertain
of things so he called another doctor to come and look at the screen. I started
to worry even more than I was before I came into the room. The two doctors
seemed to agree on something and their faces went happy "what's going on?
Is everything ok?" He could hear the worry in my voice. He waited a few
moments to tell me the news. "Look Rachel there is never an easy way to
say this" he took deep breath before continuing "you have had a miscarriage"
I started crying. Why would this happen to me just as I was getting excited
about this. What was I going to do? I loved this baby so much even though it
was the size of a peanut. I now had to go home and see Kurt and Santana... And
Finn. Kurt and Finn didn't even know and now I was going to arrive crying...
As I walked down the corridor to my apartment door I could hear the happiness
and joy in everyone's voices and I wasn't even inside the house yet. I started
crying again and instead if going inside the door I stayed outside and cried
until Santana figured it out and came outside. "Hey Rach what's
wrong?" The worry in her tone meant I could trust her "I, I "I
couldn't help the tears, I thought I would cause a flood. "I had a miscarriage"
it was the perfect moment I said that because that was the moment Finn and Kurt
decided to open the door. "Oh Rachel" Santana one who was immune to
everyone's feelings was now feeling sorry for me and Finland Kurt speechless. I
don't blame them, they had no idea.
Everyone just went silent so to escape the awkwardness I ran to my room
hoping that No one would follow. I was not in a state of mind to be able to
talk about it. "Rachel its Finn, can Please come in so we can talk" I love
the way that even though it was technically his room as well he still knocked.
I was crying so much I couldn't speak and barley breath. "Rach come
on" I started to heavily breath. What was happening to me? The next thing
I know I am laying on the floor with paramedics at my aid. "We need to get
her to the hospital"
