SM: This is second chapter. Please Read & Review.
Ren: She doesn't own anything.
SM: Damn straight. Enjoy. It won't be as good as the first chappy but please don't let me put you off. It was meant to be a one-shot.
Yoh's house
Some scars can never fade. Some aren't meant to. They help you remember. Once Ren was with Yoh he thought that his scars meant less to him, but he was wrong. His pain had gone but the scars didn't go away and soon he remembered the pain. Yoh meant the world to him, he kept most of the pain away, he tried to hide it from his love but Yoh soon realised that Ren was hurting inside. He then tried everything to make Ren happy but it wasn't working as well as Yoh had hoped.
Anna was the main problem; Ren and Yoh's relationship had to be kept a secret to her, this was not a very easy thing to do. However at first it was exciting to be in secret love but it was becoming riskier. Ren was feeling the effects of loving Yoh, Anna was getting suspicious and he knew that she wouldn't let go of being shaman queen because of her fiancé's love. Yoh didn't want to be found out and have Ren taken away from him; it had to stay a secret. He didn't love Anna as wife but as a friend, he knew that Anna wouldn't care about what he felt.
The pain was affecting Ren more then ever, he wanted it gone. But he had promised Yoh when they became an item that he wouldn't hurt himself. He wanted more then anything to get rid of the pain. So he started to do it in secret so as not to break his promise; after all if Yoh didn't know about it he wasn't exactly breaking his promise. Was he?
Ren walked down the stairs with a bandage on each arm. He had taken to doing this so as mot to upset Yoh by him seeing the scars, it also helped to hide the new ones. He walked past Anna, who gave him a look of utmost loathing. Ren started rubbing his soar arm; he had caused a new cut on his arm minutes before. Yoh ran up to him joyfully, "Hi Ren." He looked around carefully and gave Ren a short kiss. Yoh then noticed that Ren was rubbing his arm. "Are you alright?"
Ren instantly stopped. "Just an old pain." He lied.
"Can I look at it?" Yoh said and tried to see his arm. Ren quickly moved out of the way. "What are you hiding from me?" Ren shook his head; Yoh knew that something was wrong with his lover so he grabbed Ren by the shoulders. "What have you done?" he moved his hand and pulled of the bandages from Ren's arm he was rubbing. Yoh instantly knew what was going on and stepped back from Ren with a look of utter disgust on his face.
Ren covered the new marks up with his hand. "Yoh." He muttered. "You don't understand. Its not what it looks like." He went up to Yoh and tried to touch his arm carefully.
"Stay away from me!" Yoh shouted, stepping further away. He couldn't even look at Ren. "You lied to me." Sounding hurt. "Why did you lie, to me of all people?" Ren tried to speak but Yoh put his hand up. "I don't want to hear anymore lies from you."
"But, Yoh, I didn't want to hurt you. And with you as well its helping." Ren tried.
Yoh turned to face Ren. "I'm an 'as well' to you. You mean everything to me. I can't stand to see you in pain." He turned away; he didn't want Ren to see his tears. "Yet no matter what I try you're still unhappy. You're probably better off without me, and I you. If you're causing yourself pain then I guess you're not happy with me. I can't even look at you; all I see now is pain and lies." Yoh started to walk away. "I hope you're pleased with yourself."
"Yoh!" Ren cried out, Yoh didn't even look back. Ren collapsed onto the floor crying. I'm meant to be with you. He thought. I love you, Yoh. Why are you gone? I didn't mean to hurt you. I thought it better that you didn't know. He kept crying as he got up and went to his bedroom. I don't deserve to live if I am able to cause the only person I've ever cared about pain.
Ren let his body fall onto the bed and lay there crying. He didn't move for three days, he didn't eat or drink. All he could think about was his pain, the pain Yoh felt and how he could fix it. On the third day he found a way to stop his pain for good. He walked into the living space where he found all of his friends and his former lover.
When he walked in everyone, except Yoh, looked up at him; Ren's cheeks where stand red from his crying and his body looked like it was fighting to stay alive. "I'm sorry if I've hurt any of you." Ren said his practiced speech. "I know that it's hard for anyone to be around me. I've decided that I should fix this. I never meant to hurt anyone, especially you, Yoh." At this Yoh looked up; however Ren was staring at the floor now and didn't notice. "Goodbye, my friends." Ren raised a knife that he had in his hand and put it so he would go through his heart in one movement.
Yoh ran up to him and took hold of Ren's wrist. "Don't you dare!" He spat. Ren tried not to meet his loves gaze. "If you do this I will never forgive you." Ren looked back down, he was crying again. "How could you even think of doing this? I thought you said that you never wanted to hurt me."
Ren looked up, letting his tears run down his cheeks freely. "I don't. I never did. This is easier because now you won't have to go through the pain of seeing me."
A soft hand touched Ren's wet cheek. "I love you." Everyone in the room gasped, even Ren. "I thought you loved me." Ren nodded. "Then why are you being so selfish, I couldn't stand the last couple of days. I have to see you. Sure I was angry but that is nothing compared to how angry I am now."
"You said you couldn't stand to look at me." Ren whimpered.
Yoh chuckled slightly. "Not with you knowing. I would still look at you when you don't know about it. I have to maintain the image of being angry." Ren sniffled. "I could never stay angry at you, love."
Ren looked up at Yoh, determination shinning in his cat-like eyes. "Then I'm sorry for what I'm about to do next. And I hope that you can forgive me." Ren used his other hand to make the knife come to heart level, with Yoh still holding his wrist. "I love you." Ren whispered. "But trust me its better this way, you'll understand some day." And with that he pushed himself onto the knife. His eyes went wide from pain but he continued looking at Yoh.
Yoh screamed, "REN!" His eyes filling with tears, Ren smiled at the sound his name before he gasped and started going limp. His eyes started to close and with the last of his strength said four words. "Wo ai ni, Yoh."
Yoh collapsed on the floor and held hid dead love in his arms. "Ren!" he shouted shaking the fragile body in his arms. "Ren!" he held the smaller boy closer, he ignored the blood that was seeping from his heart. "You can't leave me! Please come back!" He was now rocking the body in his arms like a baby and crying his name, "Ren, Ren, Ren," Yoh couldn't let him go, he wouldn't let him die. Everyone in the room was looking at the body and wanted to go near their dead friend but nobody dared to get close to the weeping Shaman king. The former members of Team Ren were crying and the others were in complete shock.
Ren, the strong minded individual who wouldn't let anything get to him, had just killed himself in front of them. They were all in shock but Yoh was the worst off. When Horohoro tried to get the dead shaman out off Yoh's grip, Yoh sent a wave of energy at him pushing everyone further away from him. He would never let go, he had to try and make Ren live but he didn't have a clue on how to do that. No one was going to take Ren away from him, not even death. Never. He needed Ren in his life. Then he fainted over his dead friend, tears made their way down his face.
As he slept he dreamed only of Ren; he was alive and they were happy. Ren had no scars on his arms and the thought of suicide had never even entered his mind. Yoh and Ren were smiling and happy. Nothing bad would ever happen to them. They were together and in love.
If only life could be like his dream.
If only . . .
With me
SM: Did you like?
Ren: You killed me!
SM: Did I? (Reads ficcy) Oh I did. Please review. Shall I add another chapter?
Ren: Yes.
SM: Really?
Ren: Bring me back to life! I'm you fav character!
SM: You and Hao.
Ren: Whatever.
SM: Review please!
