Disclaimer: Don't own Kuroko no Basuke. I certainly ain't from Japan, and I certainly don't write manga. Just fanfiction!
Note: Alright! Here's the second part of Stray! I wrote this in a week, guys. All of your reviews, favorites, and alerts really motivated me to write fast. (And so did the week long snow-adventure we had that got us out of school!) I also discovered Nightcore on YouTube and that music is great for writing like anything.
I want to thank everyone who reviewed, favorited, and alerted my first chapter of this story: Puncakegoddess, Rin1730, Kottori, LadyOtaku99, NayaPower, guestallx27, Attack-on-Levi-the-bae, Celestial-Dragon777, Dragon Courage, Ana B. Rose, frenkym, Blukang Blarak, everyone falls, Bara in Blue, Swtazngrl5, Kuroshiroyuu, Jazzytiger23, Macie Cage, The Only Sane One, Winfox, mariafranciscaj, YuKiHiMe97, Tokoyonokuni, RuRuLaLa, Azuregold, bobbyjoette, and guests—JustHope, Shadow Carnival, and anonymous. Thanks guys! You're amazing with your support!
There will be more wolf-Kuroko in this chapter, like I promised! And Kuroko and Kagami will finally talk things out (concerning basketball and the werewolf thing). The time-line for this chapter goes along with ch. 56 in the manga and s1ep20 of the anime.
I suggest you guys listen to Yoko Kanno's 'Wolf's Rain' OST while read this chapter and any other I write for this story. It's the mood I have for the story. 'Stray' is the overall theme, but the OSTs are still amazing and have been inspiring me like crazy! Music is the first ingredient in my writing process, the ideas and words come from that. I'll soon be posting a track list for this story on my profile when I get enough chapters up.
Also, check out these AMVs on YouTube to get yourselves in the mood for wolves—it sure got me pumped!—"You Can't Take Me" – Wolf's Rain by taqu, Wolf's Rain – Heaven's Not Enough by dyingember, and Wolf's Rain~I Will Not Bow by twilitprincess. They are awesome!
No yaoi/slash.
Now enjoy!
Stray: Pt 2
After an hour and a half, Kagami still hadn't woken up.
Kuroko had been worried that the redhead had hit his head when he'd fainted, but there was no bump, so he then assumed that Kagami's body just shut down from the stress. First witnessing a werewolf's transformation, then being trapped in a room with one—it was a wonder that Kagami didn't have a full-blown heart attack…
It took forty-five minutes before Kuroko could shift back to his human form, and he had spent those forty-five minutes pacing his room like a caged animal (which technically, he was—Kagami's huge body was blocking the door) with Nigou trying to get him to play with him the entire time. It was nerve-wracking.
When he felt the hold of the wolf loosen, he immediately changed back. He had stayed shifted long enough this time that he could go awhile before his body would force him to again—even when being hit with triggers. Another week or two at most.
Once human again, he had dressed and then attempted to maneuver Kagami off the floor and onto the bed. This proved to be very difficult for Kuroko—he had very little upper body strength and Kagami was a giant. He was only able to drag him to the middle of the room, which he decided was good enough (his body ached and he was still feeling ill). He put a pillow under Kagami's head and left him be.
Minutes later he was sitting in the kitchen, sipping some fresh tea he had made to replace the long-cold tea Kagami had made earlier. It helped to calm him a bit and he sighed at the soothing taste. Out of the corner of his eye he kept a watch on his bedroom door, waiting for Kagami to come out. Nigou was munching at his food bowl, having worked up an appetite with his one-sided playtime with his master earlier.
Kuroko took the time to get his thoughts together, to think of a way to explain things to Kagami without freaking him out again. He had never told any of his friends his secret before—even the 'Generation of Miracles'. He could never find the right time to bring it up…or maybe on some deeper level, he knew they weren't the right ones to tell. He'd thought about telling Aomine at one point, but then things went the way they did and… he found he couldn't. He had desperately wanted to tell Ogiwara-kun, or even his grandmother (before she died), but he was too much of a coward to do so. It was an easy secret to keep, but a hard one to share, and Kuroko kept it to himself like the second skin it was.
The time for secrets was over now, though. Kagami had seen everything. There was no hiding from it now. He just had to suck it up and get it over with.
…How come he couldn't shake the fear those thoughts brought?
~KnB~
Kagami woke with a start. The image of a huge, snarling, white beast snapping at him with its bloody jaws fading from his mind. He wiped the sweat from his face and sat up, trying to get his breathing under control.
"Thank God…just…a nightmare…" He panted in relief. Then he groaned and rubbed his head, feeling the headache that was throbbing behind his eyes. His back was aching, and when he felt carpet under his palm, he understood why.
"What the hell am I doing on the floor?" He muttered. Confused, he looked around the dark room, memories slowly coming back to him. He was at Kuroko's house, in Kuroko's room. He remembered that he had come to check on his friend after practice, concerned after hearing he was ill.
He also remembered that Kuroko had looked terrible—like he was on his death bed.
Besides that he didn't remember a damn thing.
Was Kuroko alright? Where was he?
He looked around the room, trying to find his sick friend. When he didn't see Kuroko he began to panic. That is, until he saw the light coming from under the cracked door. As quick as he could he stood up and made his way out of the room.
The light was coming from the kitchen, and when he stumbled in he was shocked to see the object of his worry sitting at the kitchen table—without a care in the world—sipping tea. Kagami's eye twitched.
"Kuroko!?"
The bluenette, who had been deep in thought, jumped at Kagami's voice, surprising both of them. It wasn't every day you could get the jump on Kuroko. It was usually the other way around.
"Kagami-kun. You're awake."
"Yeah, shouldn't it be the other way around?" Kagami asked incredulously. "Why the hell was I asleep on your floor? And what are you doing up? You should be resting!" He walked closer, ready to haul the teen back to his room, but stopped when he noticed something. "Wait, you look fine now!"
He looked paler than normal, but Kuroko did seem to be better than when Kagami first got there.
"…Yes, I do feel better." Kuroko said.
Kagami sweat-dropped and rubbed his forehead tiredly. "Geez. You sure recover quickly, don't you? One minute you look like hell, the next you're perfectly fine. What's with that?"
Kuroko didn't say anything. Kagami decided to join him at the table, his head still hurting. He rubbed the side of his head pitifully.
"So why was I knocked out on your floor again?" Kagami asked him.
Kuroko didn't say anything for a moment. His head was bowed and his was hair shielding his eyes so Kagami couldn't see his expression.
"You…don't remember?" Kuroko eventually asked, his voice quiet.
"Not really. It's a little hazy." Kagami screwed his eyes shut, thinking. "I remember…I came here. Got attacked by that devil-mutt….um…fixed you some tea…" Kagami blinked. "You…were in pain, I think?...Then there was that nightmare."
Kuroko looked at him in confusion. "Nightmare?"
"Yeah, it was…" Kagami stopped when he met Kuroko's eyes. Sudden irrational fear shot through him.
Those eyes…why was he seeing those same blue eyes staring at him…from a beast's body…?
Flashes of white fur…black claws…sharp teeth…coming at him in the dark…
Kagami shivered and shook his head to get rid of the images. "Eh, it was nothing. Just some crazy dream about a monster or whatever." He didn't see Kuroko flinch beside him.
'Nightmare…He thinks it was a nightmare…' Kuroko didn't know if he should feel relieved or not. He didn't know what to feel.
"Did I fall asleep or something…?" Kagami asked.
Kuroko grew quiet again. Kagami was ignorant of the inner turmoil going on inside the smaller boy.
How was he supposed to handle this? What was the right choice in this situation? He thought he knew what he was going to have to do, but…if Kagami didn't remember…
"Yes." Kuroko found himself saying. He couldn't stop the words from coming out. "Kagami-kun was very tired after practice and ended up falling asleep while we were talking." 'What? Why am I saying this?'
"Eh, really?" Kagami rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Sorry about that. Guess I was more tired than I thought." He gave Kuroko another once-over. "But are you sure you're feeling better? You looked pretty bad earlier."
Kuroko nodded, not looking at Kagami. "It must have been a 24-hour bug. I feel completely fine now. With some rest I should be back to normal tomorrow." It felt like he was speaking on auto-piolet.
"That's good." Kagami said.
With nothing else to say they both fell silent. Which quickly grew awkward—for Kagami because he remembered what's being happening between them lately—for Kuroko because of the guilt and misery that was eating him from the inside out.
"So, ah…" Kagami broke the silence. "Since you're feeling better, I guess I'll head out. It's pretty late." He stood to leave, eager to get out of the house where the tension was very palpable. It was hard to deal with at the moment.
He really hoped that Kuroko caught on soon so they could resolve things between them. He missed hanging out with his friend without so much awkwardness.
If only he knew that basketball was the last thing on Kuroko's mind at the moment.
Kuroko stood with him, intending to show him out. He followed the taller boy to the door, watching with dull eyes as Kagami cursed at Nigou as he tried to put on his shoes.
When Kagami opened the door, giving a 'goodbye' as he prepared to leave, Kuroko panicked.
"Wait!"
Kagami stopped, a little startled. He looked back at his Shadow expectantly. Kuroko's eyes were hooded again and his expression showed some of his inner conflict. The red-head waited patiently.
But as suddenly as the expression came, it was gone. The moment passed as Kuroko's face evened out into its usual blankness.
"Ah, never mind. Thank you for coming, Kagami-kun. Goodnight." Kuroko said with a small bow, inwardly cringing at how emotionless he sounded.
He didn't notice the disappointment that flashed across Kagami's face.
The red-head nodded back, lips pursed. "Yeah. Goodnight."
Then he left.
Kuroko watched him go sadly. Of all the people he'd wanted to tell his secret to, Kagami had been one of them. Now he was added to the list of people Kuroko will always regret not telling. His fists clenched at his side, anger welling inside him.
He was scared of course. It was completely reasonable to be. Who wanted to be seen as a monster by those closest to them? That was why he never told his parents, or his grandmother, or even his friends.
So when Kagami unintentionally gave him an out, he took it. Cowardly as it may be, he just wasn't ready yet.
Some of his kind say that it's better to tell friends and family about their condition. That way they could have support while they go through their hardships of being wolves. Others will say it's better to protect yourself from the heartache. Humans are just…too unpredictable when it comes to facing real-life monsters.
So Kuroko watched him go, regret filling his heart as the secret he's kept close to himself for so long remained intact. Untarnished.
~KnB~
A lot happened in the week that followed.
Kuroko tried to put what happened at his house (and his guilt over lying to Kagami) behind him—instead focusing on basketball. Although, he was upset to find that nothing had changed between him and Kagami in that area.
Kagami was still playing by himself. Just like he did in the beginning. It was starting to bother Kuroko greatly.
What if Kagami left him behind like the others did?
He didn't think he could handle it a second time.
On another note, Riko had signed their team up for three days of practice matches against other schools so that each of them could be evaluated. After that, Riko would put them each on a specific training regimen during the summer that would help them improve.
The third day had been interesting. Riko had, out of the blue (and through suggestion of Kiyoshi), decided to have the freshmen play the match against Toshukin. The second years were confused, but they tried to guess what she and Kiyoshi were trying to do. With the way Kagami had been playing lately, some of them thought he was being a bit egotistic. They believed that by having the freshmen (who were at a disadvantage against Toshukin's regulars—even with Kagami and Kuroko) play the match, it could teach them that you couldn't win a game alone.
Kuroko thought this as well. He knew that they would have a hard time in the match if they couldn't work together properly. But Kagami's words before the match stuck with him:
"Kuroko. You don't need to pass to me anymore."
Those words had hurt, and reminded him way too much of Aomine's.
Although, unknown to the phantom-player, Kiyoshi had a different plan for the set-up. He had admitted to the others during the match that his actual purpose wasn't really about Kagami, but more about Kuroko. He was trying to help Kuroko change his focus and overcome his self-imposed limits. Though, he was worried that the boy wouldn't realize it on his own. And the match's conclusion only proved that.
The freshmen had won the match, but only because of Kagami's strength. Kuroko had passed to everyone as usual, but Kagami's power-play had given them the win of 43 – 41.
The second-years felt disheartened. Kuroko even more so than them.
~KnB~
After the match, Kuroko had felt that he was at his limit as a player. He felt that there was nothing else that he could contribute besides his passing. And that's not what he team needed—especially since the Generation of Miracles were going to be their opponents in the next coming months.
And didn't he show just how useful he was against the Miracles during their match against Tōō?
No. Seirin deserved better. He had nothing more to give.
…Or at least that's what he thought before he went to see the captain.
Initially he had gone to request that Kiyoshi-senpai replace him as a starter on the team. His play was at its limit and he didn't want to drag Seirin down because of it.
The way he saw it, he supported the others with his style, but he also put too much on them, leaving most of the game to them ("supporting others" vs. "leave it to the others"). That was far from fair.
Hyūga-senpai, though, would have none of it and promptly smacked Kuroko on the back of the head.
"Don't get cocky, idiot! Removing you from the starters? Have you ever thought about those sitting on the bench? So don't give me that shit. If you're serious, go to the coach."
He made it clear that he saw it as Kuroko giving up, and to him that wouldn't be fair to the others.
In the case of limits, he told Kuroko the story of Kiyoshi's struggles and how he created his style to get over his own limits. He said that Kuroko reminded him a lot of the large Center.
"You and Kiyoshi are different…But is that really the only thing you can do?"
Kiyoshi found a way past his limits, and Hyūga believed Kuroko could do the same.
When Kuroko looked uncertain, Hyūga told him to at least talk to Kagami if he still didn't want to be a starter anymore. As partners, they should talk things over. Plus, the captain admitted that Kagami had come to him, too, and opened up about what's been going on.
"He says you've saved him a lot until now. He's decided to take some distance for now. He knows you won't let him just like that. He's determined to get stronger. He knows you can, too. He believes in you…But he's really clumsy—especially with his words!"
That had shocked Kuroko. Of course—why hadn't he seen it before? He had been so stupid (although, Kagami's way of getting the message across sucked). Kagami wasn't trying to leave him behind—he was just waiting for Kuroko to catch up!
Now he knew what he needed to do.
When Hyūga saw that Kuroko finally got it, he sent the younger boy away, telling him where to find Kagami. The two definitely needed to talk. Kuroko thanked his captain and rushed out of there as fast as he could, leaving Hyūga mumbling angrily about dumbass kōhai in his wake.
When he found his Light shooting hoops on the streetball court, they hashed things out between one another.
He told Kagami the reason why he chose him to be his Light. He told him how, as the sixth man in Teikō, he began to lose the trust of his friends and their passes eventually stopped coming. They evolved past him, and believed that his way of basketball was obsolete. In truth, it didn't have to be him, but he chose Kagami—all for the purpose of making them acknowledge his way of playing.
Before Kagami could get too bitter about that, though, Kuroko also explained that, because Kagami believed in him, and because Seirin had been such a great place to him—with great people who accepted and believed in him—he had also evolved. He was no longer the Kuroko Tetsuya of Teikō Middle School, but the Kuroko Tetsuya of Seirin High School. He understood why Kagami was distancing himself—so that they could get stronger individually and match two even greater forces so as to ascertain their victory.
And with Kagami—and everyone else—he want to become Japan's number one, not just make someone Japan's number one. So he promised his Light that he would push past his limits and give Seirin everything he had. He would get stronger, and together they would defeat the Generation of Miracles. Kagami's response fueled his motivation.
"I had that goal from the beginning. Besides, you got it wrong again! It's not 'want'. We 'will' become number one!"
"I'll get stronger, too. I'm gonna leave you behind if you slack off, though. Got it?"
"Let's get stronger quickly and show them in winter—the re-born Kuroko's basketball!"
The fist-bump they shared sealed their promise.
That conversation had given Kuroko hope—real hope that he had not felt in a long time. It inspired him to want to do his best to get stronger and be the player that Seirin and Kagami needed. But not just a player, the best teammate as well.
It also helped to give him the courage to go through with something he has been putting off for far too long. Something that needed to be done if their goals were going to be met and if the promise they made one another could be achieved.
Which was why a few days after they talked he was ringing the doorbell to Kagami's apartment, prepared to finally let go of the secret he's been keeping for far too long.
~KnB~
Kagami was surprised when he opened his door to see his Shadow standing in front of him.
"Kuroko?"
"Hello, Kagami-kun." Kuroko said, stoic as ever. "I'm sorry, I know it's late, but may I came in? There's something I need to discuss with you."
Kagami's eye-brows raised. "Uh, yeah, sure. Come on in." He stepped aside and let Kuroko in.
"I'm sorry for the intrusion, Kagami-kun." Kuroko said as he took off his shoes.
"Ah, it's no problem. I wasn't doing anything anyways. Do you want some tea, or…"
"No, thank you."
Kagami offered him a seat and they both sat on the large couch. Out of the corner of his eye, Kagami noticed that Kuroko was sitting rod straight and chewing on his lower lip.
"Is everything alright? You look tense." Actually, since their conversation a few days ago, the smaller boy (besides showing renewed vigor) had looked lost in thought and nothing short of listless. Kagami was getting a little worried about his Shadow.
"Yes, I'm just…" Kuroko struggled a bit with what to say. "I need to tell you something."
He sounded so serious that Kagami's concern grew and he turned to fully face his friend.
"Sure, go ahead."
Kuroko nodded, taking a few minutes to get his thoughts together. "After our conversation, I've been thinking about some things. And I realized that, even though I told you everything concerning my intentions with basketball, I've been keeping something else from you. And it's because of my own selfishness and my fear of being seen as different that has been keeping me from telling anyone."
He turned to Kagami, looking guilty. "Kagami-kun, you are my friend, and I feel that in order for us to become stronger like we promised, I need to tell you everything."
"…Um…ok. You know, you can tell me, whatever it is." Kagami assured, although on the inside he was nervous to hear what it was.
"I know, but it's complicated." 'Especially since its Kagami-kun—cynophobe extraordinaire' "Please allow me time to explain properly."
"Sure." Kagami said.
Kuroko took a breath before beginning. "Kagami-kun, last week…when you came to see me when I was sick…I lied to you. I'm sorry."
"…You seem to be doing that a lot lately." Kagami mumbled, referring to their conversation on the streetball court.
"Kagami-kun, please. Anyways, something happened while you were there, even though I reassured you that nothing did. You accepted that answer right away, but I could not help but think this whole time that it was cowardly of me to lie to you like that. Especially when we made that promise with one another."
He paused.
"…You must understand that this is hard for me. I have never told anyone about this. Including my own family. But I'm learning how to trust, and I trust you, Kagami-kun. I have faith that you won't hate me for it." He was able to give a small smile, even while looking as nervous as he did.
Kagami frowned—what could it possibly be for Kuroko to not confide in anyone about it?
Kuroko looked down at his lap, clenching his fists nervously. 'This is it.' He thought.
"It wasn't a dream." He blurted out, confusing Kagami. "What you saw at my house, it wasn't a dream. The truth is…I suffer from what's medically termed as Lycanthropy."
He looked up at Kagami seriously. "In simpler terms…I am a werewolf."
Kagami looked stunned at the confession, not saying anything for several seconds. Then he began to laugh hesitantly, unsure of Kuroko's newfound—and weird—humor.
"Haha, that's really funny, Kuroko! I mean, that's just plain ridiculous! Vampires, zombies, werewolves—that stuff doesn't exist!" He tried to sound sure of himself, but Kuroko's words brought up memories he didn't know he had. Images were already flashing in his head—said nightmare that he had almost forgotten from a week ago replaying in his mind.
A huge, snarling beast snapping at him with its bloody jaws…its ethereal fur glowing in the dim light…
His best-friend's screams…body contorting unnaturally…blue eyes looking out at him from a beast's body…
He shook his head, unnerved. 'What the hell?'
He heard Kuroko sigh beside him. "I knew you wouldn't believe right away. That's why I was prepared to show you."
When bluenette stood and began removing his clothes, Kagami freaked.
"W-W-What are you doing, idiot!?" The red-head yelled, quickly scooting away from Kuroko. He was blushing and looked completely scandalized.
"I don't want to ruin another set of clothes. It's easier this way." Kuroko explained simply. His shirt was already on the floor and he was moving to remove his shoes and pants.
Kagami turned away, eyes closed and holding his hands out in front of him to stave off any advances. "Look, ok, I think I get it. This is either some elaborate joke, or you're into some kinky shit! Just, whatever it is, don't involve me in it! It's not funny!"
There was silence after his exclamation. Then something cold and wet unexpectedly touched his outstretched hand. Kagami jumped and turned around to see a huge white wolf standing in front of him, pressing its wet nose into his palm.
His mind took a moment to process what he was seeing.
When his mind caught up, Kagami let out a shriek and made a perfect vault (one that could be the envy of any gymnast) over the couch in an attempt to escape.
"What the hell!?" Kagami screamed as he presses himself against the back of the couch, trying to hide from the beast that suddenly appeared in his apartment. What the hell was going on?! Where did that thing come from!? And where was Kuroko!?
He heard a huff and looked up to see the wolf's head look down at him from over the couch. Another shriek and he moved as quick as lightning to press himself into the corner of the room—a stupid move really, considering he was now trapped. He watched with horror as the wolf jumped off the couch and slowly advanced towards him. All the while Kagami was shaking in absolute terror.
"Stay away! Stay away! Stay away! Stay away!" Kagami screamed over and over, utterly petrified. He tried to shield himself with his arms just as the wolf stopped its advance on him a few feet away. Kagami closed his eyes, shivering and whimpering, waiting for his untimely end.
Something hard suddenly bopped against his leg. Hesitantly, Kagami looked between his arms at what the thing was and was surprised to see one of his basketballs sitting against his leg. He looked up and flinched hard when he saw that the wolf sitting directly in front of him, staring at him with…very familiar blue eyes.
They stared at each other for a few minutes, neither breaking eye contact. Kagami recoiled, though, when the wolf began to slowly lift its leg, its paw landing on the basketball sitting between them. Kagami froze, finding the action confusing, and when he glanced at the wolf again he noticed something that he didn't before in the haze of terror—the wolf had very expressive eyes, looking at him with what he could only describe as earnest and fear. Its ears were laid flat and its head was lowered. There were no teeth in sight. No malice whatsoever. It whined—a high-pitch noise that sounded pathetic and sad coming from such a beast. It was like it was trying to get him to do something. To remember something. It took a little bit, but things began to click in his head.
Kuroko's admission only minutes before…Lycanthropy…Werewolf…Him taking off his clothes for some reason…Blue eyes…
Memories of that night were slowly coming back to Kagami. His eyes widened and everything clicked at once.
He looked at the wolf again, completely stunned.
"…K-Kuroko?" He really felt like he was going insane.
The wolf nodded—actually nodded!—looking at him with what he knows are Kuroko's eyes, which were filled with relief. It was…so unreal. Kuroko thumped his paw on the basketball one more time before stepping back away from Kagami, giving him room to breathe and digest.
Kagami looked way more shocked than scared now. He studied the wolf in front of him intensely, noting its calm demeanor and it's…very human eyes looking back at him. They were the most distinguishable feature.
"Kuroko…That really is you, isn't it?" Kagami asked in disbelief.
Kuroko nodded again, stepping aside to show Kagami the pile of clothes laying on the floor—completely Kuroko-less. Kagami took it all in.
"…Huh." That was all he could think to say. Kuroko wasn't kidding after all. His best friend was actually…a werewolf…
Wow, just thinking the words sounded ridiculous. But the proof was standing in front of him, looking at him intensely with nervous eyes.
Kagami stood slowly and shakily made his way back to the couch, not really avoiding Kuroko on his way as he was too engrossed in his own thoughts. Processing the information was going to take him a minute. He plopped down on the couch, head in hands. Kuroko remained in the middle of the room, giving his friend some time.
After a few minutes, Kagami finally spoke.
"So you weren't lying? You're a…werewolf." Kagami said. Gah, it was so hard to say.
"Yes, that's correct."
Kagami looked up in shock at the sound of a voice. Kuroko was standing in front of him again, only in his human form—fully dressed—looking as calm as can be.
"H-How did you…so fast!?" Kagami asked incredulously.
"I've had lots of practice. I am uncomfortable with being nude in front of other people." Kuroko said—like it was the most normal thing in the world.
Still looking incredulous, Kagami could only shake his head at the craziness.
Kuroko sat beside him on the couch, inwardly glad when the taller boy doesn't move away from him. Although, Kagami looked to be too deep in thought to be scared at that moment.
"So…what do you think?" Kuroko asked hesitantly.
"…Um…It's…uh…." Kagami laughed in exasperation. "Well, it's surprising. Guess you weren't kidding after all."
Kuroko looked guilty again. "I'm sorry for putting this on you all of a sudden, Kagami-kun. But I felt it was important for you to know this about me. Since we are partners, and friends, there should be no secrets between us."
Kagamisighed. "Yeah, I get that. It's just…so hard to believe. I mean—you're a werewolf!" He said it a little accusingly.
"Technically, I'm a Lycan." Kuroko said.
Kagami was confused. "…A what?"
"A Lycan." He repeated—then clarified. "Lycans can control their transformation into a wolf, as well as their consciousness while in wolf form. Like this." Kuroko raised his right hand and demonstrated by shifting it into a paw, the transformation flawless. Kagami looked at it warily as he shifted it back to a regular hand again.
Kuroko continued. "A werewolf, though, has no control and relies on a full moon for transformation. They also have no memory of being human while in that form. The distinction in very different, but we always end up being called werewolves. It's kind of racist."
Kagami nodded, looking at Kuroko's previously-shifted hand. "I see. That sounds a little less frightening." He said sarcastically. Then he looked at Kuroko, confused. "But, if what you said is true, and if what happened at your house last week is also true, then…?"
Kuroko looked ashamed—and a little embarrassed. "Ah, yes…that…It is not impossible for us to lose control. I did that night. I'm sorry that you had to see that."
"But…why did you?"
Kuroko fidgeted. "…It's a long story, and involves me going to the beginning."
His voice sounded tense and Kagami backtracked, thinking he didn't want to talk about it. "Oh, um… if you don't want to…"
Kuroko interjected. "No, that's why I came tonight, to explain things to you. That means telling my story, too." He turned to Kagami. "If you have questions, don't hesitate to ask. But please let me get everything out, first."
Kagami nodded and Kuroko began his story.
"I became a Lycan when I was nine years old. I was playing in one of the street courts in our neighborhood, and it was late. Ogiwara-kun, my friend who I was playing with, had already gone home, and I was going to, too. I remember hearing a growl from one of the bushes and feeling a sudden pain in my arm. I don't remember what happened after that. I woke up a few hours later in my bed. My grandmother was having a fit, she was so worried about me. She said our neighbor had found me passed out in the court on his way home. She fretted over me for days after that and wouldn't let me go outside to play. The crazy thing, though, was that I could remember feeling pain in my arm before blacking out, but there wasn't a mark on me. I asked my grandmother about it, but she said I didn't have any other injuries besides the bump on my head. And the next day I was completely fine.
"But a few days later, when my grandmother left the house for a while, it happened. I'm glad that she wasn't there to see it. The first time is always very painful and scary. It started as nausea, until it got to where I thought my stomach was on fire. Then the rest of my body followed after. I can't tell you how painful the first shift is. I'm glad that I don't remember much of how it felt." He shivered faintly, though, and Kagami winced in sympathy.
"When I first woke up as a wolf I was scared out of my mind. I had no idea what was happening. I was confused and disoriented. It was horrifying. I eventually shifted back and when my grandmother found me I was crying hysterically. I tried to tell her what happened, but she didn't believe me and thought I had a bad dream. I thought about showing her that time, but I had no idea how it worked. I decided to keep it from her, though, even when I knew how to shift. I didn't want her to be scared of me, and I definitely didn't want to shock her into a heart-attack. Her health was already fragile."
"So, you didn't tell your grandmother. But did you tell your parents? Your friends?" Kagami asked.
Kuroko shook his head, clutching his arms. "Like I told you before, I haven't told anyone besides you."
"Really? That…sounds lonely." And it did. Having to live with something like this and dealing with it alone—without the help of family or friends—sounded terrible.
Kuroko nodded. "Yes. It is. It's very hard to explain to humans about us. Some people cannot accept what we are. A lot of us just want to live normal lives, but how can we when our loved ones see us as some kind of monster?"
Kagami frowned. He had a point. That would be awful.
They fell silent again. Kagami was processing everything and Kuroko was giving him the time he needed.
In truth, Kagami was more than a little shocked at the revelation. Because werewolves didn't exist! Or at least they didn't until now. And Kuroko was one. He could actually turn into a wolf. A big white one.
Kagami thought he should have been a little more…well, scared—or at least uncomfortable with the fact that his friend could turn into another species. What Kuroko was and what he could do was, by any terms, unnatural. But looking at the smaller boy, and seeing how nervous and fearful he had been, and still was, about telling Kagami all of this—he couldn't help feeling sympathetic towards Kuroko. Supportive, even. This was huge, and Kuroko obviously built up a lot of courage in order to do it.
And he chose to tell Kagami. Just like he chose him to be his Light. Out of everyone (including those damned Generation of Miracles), Kuroko chose him.
'This is possibly the craziest thing that has ever happened in my life.' But Kagami didn't find that he minded. In fact, he was finding himself more and more curious as Kuroko opened up about everything.
"So, I'm the only one who knows about you?" He clarified.
Kuroko nodded. "Yes. You're the only human who knows."
Yep. Kagami felt very pleased about that.
"Others of my kind know about me, but they don't count because we can tell just by scent if someone is a wolf." The bluenette added.
"Others of your kind…" Kagami said thoughtfully. "So there are a lot of Lycans, then?"
"In Japan there are nearly 10,000. About two-fifths of them live in Tokyo alone."
"…Wow." Kagami was impressed by those numbers. "That's surprisingly a lot. How come more people don't know about them, then?"
"We keep to ourselves mostly. You could say we are like a secret society. It's an unspoken rule not to let our existence become public knowledge." Kuroko explained.
"Do you know many of them?"
"We typically try to avoid one another, but I do know a few of them personally. We are in a support group together and usually only interact when we have meetings or group outings."
Kagami blinked. Then, "There's a support group for werewolves!?"
"Yes, there is. Several hundred in fact across Japan. Ours is called "Lycans Anonymous"—or LA for short." There was no humor in that statement.
"…You are completely serious."
"Yes."
Kagami 'pff'd'. "That's a stupid name for a support group. And why would werewolves—I mean, Lycans—need support groups?"
"The only way you can become a Lycan is for you to be turned by a Lycan—usually through a bite, but the transfer of blood and other bodily fluids work the same way. So many Lycans have memories of being human before becoming a wolf, and that is understandably hard to come to terms with. For nearly half my life I was a human, and being turned as a child can be very traumatic. The support groups help with all of that. We come together and figure out how to live our new lives. We help each other come to terms with it. If you really look at it, Lycanthropy is like any other disease."
'Except for the whole turning into another species part.' Kagami thought. Then he remembered, "Wait, the other day we shared a water bottle! Does that mean I…!?"
Kuroko interrupted him before he could get too wound up. "No, Kagami-kun. I can only turn someone into a Lycan when I'm in my wolf form. It doesn't work in my human form."
"O-Oh. Ok. S…Sorry. I shouldn't have reacted like that." He said sheepishly, feeling embarrassed over his reaction.
"It's fine. I would be worried if you weren't concerned. The last thing I want is to turn any of you into what I am."
Kagami's eyebrows furrowed. "Do you…hate it? Being a Lycan, I mean."
Kuroko looked pensive. "I don't completely dislike it. It's been seven years, so I'm pretty much used to being a wolf. There are some things I like—even enjoy—about it. Other things…are difficult to handle. Two things, really."
"What are they?"
Kuroko hesitated, but decided to tell him anyways. "When you're turned, many things change about your body. Your senses heighten and your ability to heal is increased. As well as other things. But the biggest change is what the wolf takes away from you. The wolf is another part of me. It's like there are two beings living in the same body. I may have control over both, but it doesn't erase the fact that having two beings in one body is a huge strain. In order to make room for the wolf, something needs to…be erased. Otherwise the body can't handle the transformation and it dies."
"What do you mean something gets erased?" Kagami asked worriedly.
"It could be sight, or hearing, or even the ability to talk." He pointed to himself. "For me, it was my presence. I wasn't always this hard to notice. As a child I had quite a huge presence, I was very noticeable. When I was turned, it was like I became invisible to everyone around me. It was only after I joined the support group and learned about the mechanics of Lycanthropy that I realized what my body gave up for the wolf so that I wouldn't die. I am actually luckier than some Lycans. I know someone who lost the ability to taste food, and another who lost the ability to feel emotion. The loss can be small or large depending on the person, their age, and their health." He shrugged. "Luckily I didn't lose much."
"You make it sound like losing your presence isn't a bad thing." Kagami muttered in disbelief. "And are you sure you're not the one who lost the ability to feel emotions? You can be pretty emotionless like, all the time." Even with a blank expression Kuroko still managed to glare at him. Kagami sweat-dropped and waved his hands. "Geez, I'm just kidding! Anyways, what was the second thing?"
"Ah, yes. Besides taking something from you, becoming a Lycan also gives you something. Although it isn't pleasant. We call them 'triggers'. A trigger is different for every Lycan and is something that forces us to shift—usually under great stress. You see, it is healthy for us to shift once a day, but we can usually hold off for about two weeks or so. At that point our body forces us to shift so that we do not harm ourselves. Holding in a shift for that long is like not drinking or eating for weeks. If we do not shift, we could die. It is just how our bodies are chemically made up. If we hold out for too long, or we are under a lot of stress, we become sensitive to certain things that could cause us to shift—our triggers. My trigger is my own negative emotions—anger, sadness, jealousy, frustration, guilt, shame. Whenever I feel those emotions at a certain intensity, my body forces me to shift." Kuroko looked down, fiddling with his hands. "I can usually calm myself down, but the night you came to my house I couldn't and unfortunately…well, you know the rest."
Kagami nodded, now understanding why Kuroko was acting the way he was that night. It also explained why Kuroko was always so unemotional. If he could be triggered into a shift just by feeling sad or angry, it was better to just bury those feelings. Kuroko's monotonous mannerisms made a whole lot of sense now.
He realized something else.
"You were…really upset over the game against Tōō." He closed his eyes, ashamed. "And me distancing myself from you probably didn't help either, did it?"
He knew Kuroko had abandonment issues, thanks to those damned Miracles. And he had to go and act like those bastards. It looked like his 'trying to help' did a lot more harm than good.
He hung his head. "I'm sorry."
Kuroko shook his head stubbornly. "It wasn't your fault, Kagami-kun. I shouldn't have let myself get sucked into my negative emotions and I shouldn't have let them build up like they did. I knew it could happen, yet I wallowed in my own self-pity."
Kagami wanted to protest, but he knew that Kuroko wouldn't listen. The phantom-player would blame himself over his friends for anything. But he knew he had contributed to Kuroko's negativity these past weeks, and even though his Shadow would deny it left and right, it didn't make if any less true. He decided to let it go for now, though. He would make it up to him later.
"It looked like it hurt." He said instead, remembering Kuroko's screams and the way his body had contorted.
"Only when it's forced on me." Kuroko admitted. "I've shifted so many times now that I usually don't feel a thing. It's more like a tickle—especially when sprouting fur. That stuff itches like crazy."
His attempt at humor got a snort from Kagami, who began to laugh immediately after. The mood was finally lightening and Kuroko smiled in relief. The red-head wiped tears from his eyes.
"Wow. My best-friend's a werewolf. How many people can say that? It's a bit surreal." Kagami said with a grin. Kuroko smiled.
"So you don't…see me…differently?" He asked.
Kagami shrugged. "Well, a little—now that I know you're part wolf and all. But I mean, you're still Kuroko, right? Even when you're all wolf-y." He said reassuringly to the smaller boy.
Kuroko smiled, a huge weight being lifted off his shoulders. "That makes me relieved. I was afraid…"
Kagami scoffed, already knowing what he was going to say. "Please. Like I could see you as a monster or anything. Why would you think something like that?" He was a little incredulous.
"Well, Kagami-kun's extreme fear of dogs had me worried that you would be afraid of me." Kuroko deadpanned.
"I-It is not extreme! I just don't like them, ok!? They have shifty eyes!" The red-head defended himself, pointing to his own eye for emphasis.
"So does that mean you don't like me?" And Kuroko said it with those damned puppy-dog eyes he always pulled when he was with Nigou.
"D-Don't look at me with those eyes!" Kagami exclaimed angrily. "And it's not like that! You're only half dog, so it doesn't count!"
"So, that's how it works for you? Kagami-kun is weird." Kuroko suddenly shifted his nose and ears, startling Kagami. "What about now? It still looks like you're afraid."
"W-Well, I just need to get used to it, is all! It's not something I can just turn off!"
Kuroko nodded. "Oh, ok. I understand now. If that's what Kagami-kun needs." Kuroko fully shifted in a blink of an eye, slipping out of his clothes and sitting happily in front of Kagami on the couch, his tail wagging.
Kagami jumped back in surprise, placing a hand over his heart and trying to calm his frazzled nerves.
"Seriously!? You've gotta warn me before you do that! This is worse than you popping up everywhere!" Kuroko nodded in understanding, giving him an apologetic look.
Kagami sat and stared at Kuroko for a few minutes, looking nervous and slightly uncomfortable but much less so than when Kuroko first shifted.
"O-Ok. This isn't so bad. You're not so scary." And it was the truth. Maybe it was because Kuroko still had his human eyes while in this form, giving him a more human than animal feel. The intelligence behind them calmed his nerves.
Kuroko's tail wagged happily. In an effort to calm Kagami even further he lowered his head towards the other teen, offering himself to be petted. Usually he found this demeaning—especially with Murasakibara—but in this case he would let it slide if it helped his Light to get used to him. Kagami, understanding what he wanted, hesitated for a bit, before shakily raising his hand and petting Kuroko's head. The white fur was surprisingly soft and Kagami marveled at how unafraid he was to be doing what he was doing. There was no awkwardness, either, thank goodness. It wasn't every day you were allowed to pet your best friend's head.
He grinned. "See? Like I said, I'm not afraid!" Kuroko's tail wagged harder at that.
Kagami had a sudden thought and he began to laugh almost hysterically, startling Kuroko, who looked at him in concern. 'Oh no, Kagami-kun's finally lost it.'
After catching his breath, Kagami tried explained. "Isn't it a bit ironic? A basketball-playing teen werewolf? I have the feeling I should start called you Scott Howard!"
Kuroko looked at him, confused, and Kagami sweat-dropped.
"Haven't you ever seen Teen Wolf? With Michael J. Fox? You know, the one about the high schooler who finds out he's a werewolf and plays basketball?" Kagami prompted hopefully.
Kuroko shook his head no, but silently agreed that it was very ironic.
The red-head gave up. "Ah, well, it is an American movie. I'll show it to ya sometime, I think you'd get a kick out of it!"
Kuroko nodded, actually wanting to see it. As Kagami went into a detailed explanation of the movie while continuing to pet his head, Kuroko could not have felt any happier. He was so worried that Kagami would hate him if he knew he was a Lycan, but the reveal went better than he had expected. Kagami accepted him for what he was, and that was more than he could have asked for. It felt like a crushing weight had been lifted off his chest.
Sharing his secret with Kagami was a great decision. He only wished he could tell the rest of Seirin as well. He wasn't quite ready for that though. Someday he would be. But right now, having Kagami, his best friend and his Light, knowing his secret (and accepting him) was enough.
Note: Wow, this chapter was very long (and so is this note)! 18 pages and 7500 (+) words! I thought it would only be like 11 pages, like the first chapter—but I forgot I was going to include the basketball issues that were present in the canon alongside the werewolf issues. That added like a gazillion pages to it. But I didn't want to break this up into two chapters—I wanted this part of the story to be a two-shot, so it remained a two-shot.
I hope Kuroko and Kagami's conversation didn't seem OOC. I tried to get it to have the feel of their dialogue in the manga and anime. I wrote it after reading chapter 56 of the manga like a million times so I could get things between Hyūga, Kuroko, and Kagami right. At first I was going to include those dialogues as well, but then this chapter would have definitely had to be split into like three or four parts. They talk a lot. About basketball. And I thought that those parts only needed a brief overview so you all could get to the part you really wanted—Kuroko's reveal! Which I hope went ok! I'm a little nervous about it…
Anyways, please review and let me know what you thought! I don't mind if you don't review, but I would like to hear from my readers—even if it's just a smiley face (or God forbid a frowny face—but seriously, no frown-y faces. That's rude)! I would also love favorites or alerts. As long as my story is getting read, I'm dandy!
The next chapter will be coming soon.
Stay Shiny guys!
