Phoenix's note: Behold the incredibly long second half of the season premiere and all its action-packed/thrill-a-minute glory! Enjoy and review!
(WARNING: The end has some sex-based content not suitable for non-mature fans!)
The screen opened up in the large kitchen of the X-House (Third Times the Ed), where Nazz, Holly, and Maggie could be seen sitting at the kitchen table discussing their plans for saving the Sugar Bar from going out of business with the latter having a laptop in front of her.
"All right, I don't know about you girls, but I think the most important thing that needs to be changed is the theme! I mean, come on! A place that mostly sells sweet-based products with cliché waitresses and waiters sounds so juvenile!" Maggie started. "Sure it made a substantial profit for the past few years, but it has got to go!"
"You're right, Maggie!" Holly agreed. "But they don't exactly have a theme! I mean, there are the huge sugar cubes decorated on the walls, but that's totally got out-of-date hanging just outside!"
"That's not a theme, Holly! That's just décor! A theme would be something that catches everyone's eyes so that they'll want to become a part of it. Like…" Nazz snapped her fingers, the sign of an idea forming. "A Hooters theme! Girls! We should, like, seriously do something like Hooters to rake in more customers! With us as the main ones!"
"But it's winter!" Holly argued. "I don't think it's a good idea to limit our clothing and freeze just for sex appeal!"
"We'll be inside, Holly! Y'know, where it's toasty? I think that's a good idea, Nazz!" Maggie typed it in.
"While you're at it, type in a name for us like…the Sugar Girls! Or the Hot Cubes!" Nazz dished out some ideas while Holly and Maggie rolled their respective eyes. "Or the…"
"Sugar Cubes!" Holly interrupted, which prompted a positive reaction from the other two bombshells.
"Sugar Cubes it is!" Maggie typed it in. "Now, the last thing I think needs to go is…the choice of music! I mean, I got respect for Meek Miss Manager Melissa, but half the rock, pop, and hip-hop songs she plays in that place are so…eww!"
"Let's, like, introduce her to Kamille!" Nazz suggested. "Everyone loves her! And maybe, for Nate, Brooke, and Twan, some Jonesy Ray!"
"You don't like Jonesy Ray?" Holly raised her eyebrows surprised. "He's one of the best rappers of all time! And he's hot! So totally hot!"
"Watch it, Holland!" Nazz teased. "You and Ed might end up breaking up if you don't tone it down on the celebrity worship!"
"Holland?" Maggie took out her flash drive. "Where does Phoenix get all these names? Brooke's real name is Brooklyn, Twan's real name is Antwan, and now we just learned that Holly's real name is Holland? Come on!"
"Speaking of Ed," Holly spoke up, ignoring Maggie's rant. "Where do you think-"?
Holly was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and the three Eds, though off-screen, could be heard muttering loudly.
"Are you sure?" Edd asked Eddy.
"Yeah, Sockhead, for the fifth time, I'm good." Eddy answered sternly. "I appreciate you carin' and all, but you know I'm a fast-healer!"
"And I'm Ed!" Ed joked. "And…oh, who am I kidding? I wanna go to sleep!"
Holly and Maggie power-walked out of the kitchen to join their boyfriends while Nazz remained sitting in the kitchen with a frustrated look on her face.
In the X-House living room (Deck the Eds, Third Times the Ed), Maggie embraced Edd while Holly looked around to find Ed, who disappeared.
"Hey, where's the big guy?" Holly asked the two Eds.
"He desires rest upstairs after a…ahem…wicked event at the school!" Edd replied.
"Nazz here?" Eddy asked the girls.
"Yeah, but I don't think she-"
Eddy, ignoring Holly, walked into the kitchen to speak with his woman as Holly finished, "wants to talk to you right now!"
"I desire a soda! Would either of you care for one?" Edd asked before the girls shook their respective heads "no" and he walked into the kitchen.
"So, where did he say Ed was?" Holly asked.
"Upstairs sleeping because he is so tired! Shouldn't blame him after the morning we've been through!" Maggie translated. "Hey, why don't you check up on him while Double D and I talk?"
"Totally!" Holly dashed off-screen as Maggie sat down on the couch.
In the kitchen, Eddy tried to get Nazz to look at him as he talked to her, but she was too upset about something to do so. Edd walked by with a lemon-lime soda and ignored the whole thing, but not without a worried facial expression.
"C'mon, sweetheart! What've I done to you that's so bad?" Eddy asked confused.
"You, like, know this has nothing to do with me!" Nazz finally spoke up. "It's about Coach Pierce and the disrespect you gave him! Yeah, he's an asshole, but he's still an adult! An adult who gets to decide if whether or not you get to move on! Is it so hard for you to—gasp!"
Nazz didn't finish her sentence when she turned around and looked at Eddy with concern, noticing the bruises on his face and the blood stains on his shirt, given to him after his brutal match with Ashton.
"Oh my god!" She touched Eddy's face. "What happened to you?"
"Let's just say Gavin Pierce has got a secret that he didn't want me to find out or talk about!" Eddy touched Nazz's hand.
"What?" Nazz swung her hips in disbelief. "Are you saying that Coach Pierce did this to you, dude? Eddy, like I said, he might be an asshole, but he's not the Devil you think he is for you to keep rebelling against him!"
"You're right! He ain't the devil!" Eddy folded his arms. "He's a buddy and protégé of the Devil! Just like any other high-guy who hears out the head honcho of the Death Shades! Oh and by the way, it's Teague! Not Pierce!"
"You're accusing him of being a member of a group of sadistic monsters like the Death Shades?" Nazz asked, surprised at Eddy's revelations as well as disbelieving them. "Where do you get off?"
"You weren't there, Nazz!" Eddy justified. "You don't know what happened! You think I did this to myself?"
"No, but I do think you're, like, so hateful towards the guy and stuff!" Nazz argued.
"Okay, how 'bout this?" Eddy pinched his head frustrated. "Why don't you find out where he lives and talk to him about what happened earlier? I taught you how to look through someone's bullshit, so it should be pretty easy for you!"
"Eddy-" Nazz sternly started.
"I don't like bein' accused of lyin' when I just got a taste of Hell!" Eddy interrupted. "Especially when the accuser's my girlfriend! Make it work!" Eddy angrily stormed out of the kitchen while Nazz folded her arms and sighed.
In "his" room (which closely paralleled his actual one with sci-fi movie posters "Real Steel", "Cowboys and Aliens", and "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" respectively on the ceiling, the wall in front, and above his long bed, an flatscreen television that was older than the one in his house, a DVD player, and a portable fridge), a shirtless Ed lied down on top of his bed as he looked up at the ceiling in a daze, hoping to fall asleep. Just then, Holly walked into the room and caused Ed to change his facial expression to happiness at the sight of his girlfriend.
"Hey, handsome!" Holly sat on the side of Ed's bed. "Don't suppose you feel like going anywhere later, do you?"
"Yeah! Into more sleep!" Ed replied with his eyes closed.
"Look, I know that whole physical fitness exam totally messed up our morning, but we can still do more than chill today, right, honey?" Holly asked, only to find that Ed had already fallen asleep, much to her annoyance. Nevertheless, she pulled a cover out from underneath the bed and put it over Ed to keep him warm.
In the living room, Edd and Maggie were discussing what was on the latter's flash drive and why she and the other bombshells desire to keep the Sugar Bar open.
"And should you succeed, which I'm quite sure you shall, where do you attend to go from there?" Edd asked.
"Well, hopefully we leave behind a legacy when we quit the place and go to college." Maggie replied. "Because it would so suck if all the work we put into it only kept the place open for a year or whatever!"
"Well, I wish you good fortune when you pitch your proposition to the owner today, turtledove!" Edd supported his girl.
"Oh, I'm not going to do it! I need you, Ed, and Eddy to do it!" Maggie smiled. "I have to join Nazz and Holly in questioning Coach Pierce on the "Death Shades member" theory Eddy has!"
"Wha-uh, how do you know about that?" Edd asked, allowing a bead of sweat to escape.
"I read the script!" Maggie stroked Edd's chin hairs before she walked off-screen with her laptop. She walked up to Holly and Nazz as the latter walked out of the kitchen. "Ready?"
Nazz jingled her keys in the air, "Let's do it! See ya, Double D!"
After the girls went out the front door, Eddy suddenly jumped from off-screen and flopped on one of the living room couches as he sighed.
"You do realize that even if they manage to locate Mr. Teague's so-called dwelling, it will not make a difference because both he and his accomplices are currently in the custody of the authorities, don't you?" Edd pointed out.
"That's the idea!" Eddy laid his head back relaxed. "With Teague not there, they can scratch around his place for enough evidence to put that guy back on Death Row!"
"Eddy! As cruel and unforgivable as that man is, none of us should have the heart to wish him deceased." Edd reprimanded.
"Yer talkin' to a guy who won't even hit a Kanker sister much less wish her dead!" Eddy yawned. "But let's quit this talk! What're we doin' today? Gotta make it count 'cause we gotta go back to…yecch…school tomorrow!"
"I might be able to conjure an idea just as soon as we complete our appointment with Ms. Melissa at the Sugar Bar!" Edd responded.
"Our appointment?" Eddy repeated, obviously unwillingly.
"Yes, Eddy! You and I rather enjoy ourselves at that eatery for adolescent citizens as well!" Edd replied. "You should be more than enthusiastic to save it from proverbially folding! And aside from that, I require your mentally creative prowess to do just that!"
"What about Ed?" Eddy pointed upstairs. "Kinda been lookin' forward to dog-pilin' on 'im again!"
"If he is not awake by the time we return, then I will join you!" Edd stood up and placed the flash drive in his pocket. "For now, let's allow him to rest! Shall we?"
"I'm drivin'!" Eddy followed Edd off-screen.
The screen slowly transitioned into the office of the Sugar Bar's manager/owner, Melissa Cervantes, where Edd and Eddy were speaking with Melissa herself on their girlfriends' ideas for saving the place from going out of business. Melissa was a lovely Hispanic black-haired woman in her mid-thirties who wore a black shirt, an even blacker skirt, and off-screen shoes. Their flash-drive was in her own personal computer so that they could all see the work created by the Bombshells.
"Perhaps the practical idea of renovating this structure is wise if you garner more customers than you could predict!" Edd suggested.
"These are very interesting concepts, boys but-" Melissa started.
"Have I mentioned that you needn't not worry about the considerable noise the party-goers will emit?" Edd added. "We chose a reasonable hour that also happens to be convenient for students, like us, who have parents that place a deadline on our nocturnal activities."
"Yes, but…I really don't see how you're going to be able to save my business in a day!" Melissa shrugged. "I mean, how can you or your girlfriends prepare all this and still go to school for like six hours or whatever?"
Eddy chuckled confidently, "Liss…you let us worry about that! Trust me! We might be teens, but we, mainly me, got pockets of connections! School is in the unrelated-slash-unimportant-crap category, so chill! We got'chu covered!"
Melissa thought for about five seconds until, "You've got yourself a deal, gentlemen!" She stood up and shook their respective hands. "But remember! These Sugar-cube Bombshell girls of yours better not be a minute late when it's their turn to perform tomorrow night! And don't…disappoint me!"
"Uh, Double D? Mind definin' that word for me? Dis-dis-disappoint is what'chu said?" Eddy asked Edd sarcastically, the latter rolled his eyes and shook his head with a smile before the screen faded to black.
The screen reopened to a gray townhouse in an unknown part of Peach Creek, where Nazz's Altima could be seen pulling up in front of the camera. Maggie rode shotgun as she looked at her laptop while Holly sat in the backseat.
"You, like, sure this is the place, Maggie?" Nazz asked.
"Yeah, because, this totally doesn't fit the description of my ideal house!" Holly looked out the window.
"Could be because it's not your house!" Maggie scoffed. "But yeah! I'm so sure this is Pierce's house! Hacked into the database of S. Ralston and O. Reid High to find his address! If he's what Eddy says he is, he's pretty freaking convincing! More so than any terrorist I've ever heard of!"
"He's no terrorist, Maggie!" Nazz unbuckled her seatbelt. "I mean, with his attitude, he could pass for one, but it's seriously messed up to think the whole "Coach" thing was a mask for something way more messed-up!"
"Did you say, "hacked"?" Holly stepped out of the car after Maggie.
"Please stay with us, Holly!" Maggie rolled her eyes. "And no I'm not worried about being traced for hacking because both of those schools' computer systems have pathetic-ass security!"
"All right, girls! Let's get this over with!" Nazz knocked on the townhouse's front door as she yelled, "Hello? Coach Pierce! It's the Bombshells! We need to talk to you about something important! Well, maybe it's not all that important, but I think it is kinda sorta serious! Hello?"
Nazz banged on the door three more times before she tugged on the doorknob and accidentally opened the door! She looked back at her friends suspicious before she entered the house with them right behind her. It was dark. Relatively dark. The girls could barely see strands of hair in front of their respective eyes.
"Hello? Are you here?" While Maggie tried to avoid bumping into rough furniture, Holly felt around the walls for a light switch.
"Hello?" Nazz noticed a staircase and began to climb up it until, suddenly, the door slammed shut at the same time the lights switched on to reveal Ashton (still known to the girls as "Pierce") behind the door with a CAR-15 in his hands!
"GET THE FUCK DOWN FROM THERE!" Ashton pointed his gun at Nazz, causing her and her fellow Bombshells to fall down and shriek in terror! However, Ashton, recognizing the three girls, quickly switched the weapon to safety and tossed it in the closet! "Oh my God! Are you three okay? I-I didn't mean to scare you!"
"It's-It's all right!" Nazz hyperventilated. "You didn't fire, right?"
"I'm so sorry! Have a seat ladies!" Ashton pointed to a brown sofa, which the girls sat on. "Lemme get you some water to calm your hearts!"
Ashton went into a mini-fridge and pulled out three bottles of water before he handed one to each Bombshell and sat down in front of them in a comfy purple-furred chair.
"So sorry!" Ashton put on a convincing smile. "Now…mind telling me what made you come out here and almost get your heads…y'know?"
"Well, I don't know if you, like, heard me, but I said what I'm about to share with you is going to sound incredibly stupid!" Nazz sipped some of her water.
"After what I almost did to you, I don't see myself with a choice but to hear ya out!" Ashton motioned for Nazz to speak up.
The screen transitioned to "Ed's room", where the oldest of the trio could be seen still sleepin' loudly, yet peacefully. Just then, his door cracked open slightly before one could see Eddy and Edd snickering mischievously through that crack, prepared to pounce on their friend. The two snuck quietly into the room and, using their respective fingers, counted to three before…
"DOGPILE!" The two Eds successfully ambushed their friend and woke him up! Immediately afterwards, the three fell onto the floor and laughed heartily!
"Like ol' times, eh, Lumpy?" Eddy slapped Ed in the back of the head!
"Better to remain awake, old friend!" Edd chuckled. "You won't be able to receive all of your energy come morning if you overdo your resting habits!"
The three Eds looked up to find Holly and Maggie staring down at them with emotionless facial expressions and Nazz with an angered one! Ed and Edd stood up straight while Eddy merely sat on the edge of Ed's bed.
"Gravy-cake! You're back!" Ed smiled.
"Excellent news, ladies!" Edd smiled. "Ms. Cervantes wishes to go with your plans for saving the Sugar Bar so long as we fulfill every commitment we've made!"
"Yeah, that's cool, Double D! Thanks! But if you don't mind, I'd like to speak to my boyfriend alone!" Nazz folded her arms, changing the mood in the room! "Sorry, big guy that we have to use your room for a minute!"
"Ooh, somebody's in trouble!" Ed walked out of the room with Holly, Edd, and Maggie, closing the door behind him.
"So, you looked around?" Eddy smiled, hoping to be informed that he was right all along!
"Better! I talked to him in person!" Nazz continued with a hostile tone!
"WHAT?" Eddy frowned outraged as he stood up. "That assclown must've woken up and bailed before the cops showed up!"
"Okay, you know what? Stop!" Nazz demanded aggravated. "You've done and said a lot of messed up stuff in your life, Eddy, but this is one thing I have to get in your face about! Coach Pierce said that you, not Ed or Double D, tried to sneak out to your car before he could reason with you and talk about giving you another chance! Which is something we both know you'd do!"
"That's bullshit! He's tryin' to make ya distrust me!"
"He also said that it looked like you were threatening Ed and Double D into helping you get away when he tried to catch up with you! And I know you're almost always plotting things with Ed and Double D…and so do you!"
"When've you ever seen me threaten those two, Nazz? Huh?"
"That's just it! I never have because I never do! I don't know half the things you do when I'm not around!"
"Exactly! So, why won't you listen to me?"
"Because Eddy, you're rebellious! You can be deceitful! Disrespectful! And I've seen all of that yesterday!"
"Well if you can't hear me out, even if I do sound a little retarded, then maybe you and I need to take a break, huh? 'Cause I don't see a point in us even lookin' at each other if ya can't trust me!"
Nazz, heartbroken by these words, emitted some tears and turned around to leave the room. But before she left, Eddy continued softly, "And here's something you should think about! Who do you know is tough enough to damage me like this? Keyword: "Know"!"
Despite still emitting some tears, Nazz began to develop a facial expression that bordered on thinking. As she left the room and wiped her face, the screen zoomed in on a visibly hurt Eddy before it faded to black.
The screen reopened at J. Wootton High School the following day, where it was now final lunch and the Eds were walking down a hallway to the cafeteria. Ed and Edd were doing their best to support a still-depressed Eddy after yesterday's fight with Nazz.
"Cheer up, Eddy!" Edd placed his hand on his shoulder. "I'm very confident that you two will eventually reaffirm your mutual affection! But the only way to be sure of that is if you are just as confident if not more so!"
"Yeah, but today, it's guy time!" Ed put his arm around Eddy's shoulder buddy-style. "A day with the dudes!"
"Y'know what? You're right, Ed!" Eddy quickly perked up. "What I need is to chill with my boys the rest of the day! Least until we get on over to that Sugar Bar thing!"
"But Eddy, Nazz is the focal point of that event!" Edd reminded his friend. "Seeing her there would defeat the purpose of-"
"Who said I'd be there for her? Especially when I pulled the strings that got the place lookin' sexy!" Eddy slapped Edd on the back.
"THERE THEY ARE! AGGHH! AGGHH!" The moment the Eds walked through the cafeteria door, they were suddenly ambushed by female students who randomly started asking for the Eds' respective autographs!
"My word!" Edd took out a pen and frantically signed many of the girls' stuff. "I certainly don't recall our school harboring this many female learners!"
"That's 'cause these girls are actually extras who grew up watching our first show and followed us on this one!" Ed signed a girl's cardboard buttered toast! "Talk about the ultimate 4th wall break, huh guys?"
"Hate to break this to ya ladies, but, Ed…" Eddy pulled Ed over to his side. "…Edd…" Eddy pulled Edd over to his other side. "…and even Eddy are off the market! No kisses!"
"But Eddy, since you and Nazz are taking a break, doesn't that technically mean you're back on layaway or something?" Ed asked.
"Shut up, Ed!" Eddy signed a girl's T-shirt.
"Hey, that's what it says on my shirt!" A random girl showed the Eds her yellow shirt, which showed a younger Eddy telling a younger Ed to shut up!
Just then, three boys (about the same age as Ed) that were wearing all black got passed the crowd of girls and confronted the Eds angrily. One was a redheaded boy, one was a blonde boy, and the last one was a brunette boy.
"Just who the fuck do you shit-pieces think you are?" the apparent redheaded leader growled with his Brooklyn accent, jealous of the namesake protagonists' fame. "Yer hoggin' all the damn action!"
Eddy, seeing this as an opportunity to fully get over yesterday by being himself again, smirked, "One: They came to us! Two: you need some mints! And three: you obviously…need to get laid if all you want are extras and fangirls! But I don't think you're the right size, so…"
Furious, the redheaded kid yelled, "Girls! Guy talk! Go back to your tables!"
Annoyed, the girls walked away from the Eds and sat back down to allow the three jealous teens to continue annoying them.
"Look, celebrities!" the redheaded kid continued. "If I catch you talkin' to those girls again or if you make another smart-ass comment, I'll…"
"What?" Eddy folded his arms in disbelief. "Whine to us about how your breath's nailin' which is probably one of twenty-eight reasons why you can't get laid?"
"All right…THAT DOES IT!" The redheaded kid swung at Eddy, but he caught his fist and ran out of the cafeteria with his friends despite knowing that the bullies in black would surely give chase! "GET BACK HERE, DICK, DICKK, N DICKY!"
"So, he's a wannabe Kevin now, ain't he?" Eddy smiled as he and his pals ran down another hallway! "Phoenix is goin' all out with these extras this episode…ain't he?"
The three Eds reached the stairs and went down their own way. Eddy slid down the rails like a surfer, Ed slid down the rails on his head, and Edd simply ran down the stairs frantically!
"BREAK OFF!" The Eds broke off in all directions and while the bullies gave chase, instead of going after each Ed (which would make more sense), strangely, the redheaded boy and the blonde boy only went for Eddy while the brunette boy went for Ed since he went in his direction!
The blonde kid was close to snatching Eddy, but the Ed leader averted this by jumping at a wall, bouncing off of it with his feet, and flipping over the blonde kid as well as flipping him off! When he landed, however, he found himself surrounded by both the redheaded boy and the blonde boy!
"YOU'RE GOIN' DOWN, ASSWIPE!" The redheaded kid snarled!
"Yeah, right!" Eddy back-bended to avoid the two bullies' punches, causing them to sock each other instead! "Come get me if this hurts more than a few seconds!" Eddy swiftly and potently punched both boys in the ribs before he kicked the blonde kid over to the redheaded kid, causing them both to writhe in pain on the floor while he ran off-screen and laughed!
In the same hallway, Ed and Edd continued to run, only for the former to be tackled off-screen by the brunette bully! Edd, shocked at this, ran to assist his friend, but was overpowered by the redheaded kid and the blonde kid, who recovered from Eddy's attack! The redheaded kid trapped Edd in his own hat before he tossed him in the nearby trashcan!
"A waste basket! How revolting!" Edd yelled in a muffled tone!
"Deal with it!" The blonde kid kicked the trashcan down the stairs leading to the boiler room (with Edd still in it) before he and the redheaded kid went to join the brunette kid in assaulting Ed!
"Double D!" Having just jumped on-screen, Eddy noticed that Edd was still falling down the stairs and was headed straight for the super-hot (but closed) furnace! Using his quarter-necklace as a grappling hook, he yanked Edd out of the trashcan, which was burnt to a crisp once it touched the furnace door! "I got'chu, pal!"
"Thank you, Eddy!" Edd fixed his hat back.
"What's with these idiots?" Eddy pointed to the furnace.
"Seeing as how I was, as a cruel running gag, encased within my own hat again, I must say this is clearly yet another bullying attempt on our person!" Edd folded his arms.
"Yeah, well! They're gonna learn that the Eds don't get no bullies!" Eddy cracked his knuckles as he walked off-screen.
"Eddy, playing their game is what will make this entire scene go on indefinitely!" Edd tried to reason with Eddy. Quickly, however, they saw the three bullies assaulting a downed Ed while also taunting him!
"RAAGGH!" Ed, fed-up, sprung himself up and knocked out the blonde kid and assaulted the redheaded kid and the brunette boy respectively in the face and stomach! Before he could hit the brunette kid again, the latter held a sharp pocketknife to his neck before the redheaded kid punched him to the floor!
"Let's cut 'im up!" the two boys cackled!
"YAAGGH!" Enraged, the two Eds dashed towards the two bullies with Edd pulling out the same stagger-inducing rifle Ed gave him earlier for defense! Edd knocked the brunette kid unconscious with a shot fired from the rifle and tried to do the same to the redheaded kid, but he grabbed the rifle, used his superior strength to throw him against some lockers, and knocked him unconscious by hitting him upside the head with the rifle itself!
"You're next, asswipe!" The redheaded kid tossed the rifle off-screen.
"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? There's…nobody else around so…you must be talkin' to me!" Eddy taunted the redheaded kid by mocking his Brooklyn accent!
"RRRR!" Annoyed, the kid snatched up his brunette friend's pocketknife and attempted to cut (and possibly kill) Eddy, but failed when the latter swiftly blocked his arm, sucker-punched him in the face, neck, and rib (the same place he hit not too long ago), and performed a roundhouse kick to the back of his head so powerful that it sent the redheaded kid into unconsciousness and smack into a nearby water fountain, which was destroyed on impact!
"Works every freakin' time!" Eddy helped his two friends up. "Oh, good! Yer awake! Now, let's run away before—huh?"
Eddy failed to finish his sentence when his attention went to the unconscious redheaded kid. As water poured out of the destroyed fountain and onto the boy's neck, something red could be seen appearing on it (the kid's neck). Eddy walked over to the kid and moved his shirt collar out of the way before he uttered, "No way!"
"What is it, Ed-d-d-d-dy?" Edd walked on-screen to have a look and developed a surprised facial expression as well!
"What are you guys looking a—HOLY GRAVY-BISCUIT DELUXE!" Ed exclaimed when he joined his friends in staring at what was on the kid's neck! The camera slowly shifted to show that the so-called kid had a red skull-in-crossbones tattoo on his neck!
"Damn it if it don't make sense!" Eddy snapped his fingers. "Tryin' to gang up on me? Kickin' you downstairs to the boiler room? Holdin' Ed at knifepoint? These guys are Shades sent to kill us!"
"Their jealousy directed at our popularity and subsequent desire to violently pursue us was meant to be a common excuse to do so!" Edd deduced. "Yet…if all members of the Death Shades terrorist group possess ages that range from 20 to 25, how could they have possibly been able to penetrate this institution without receiving notice?"
"Don't you watch the behind-the-scenes features of scary movies, Double D?" Ed started. "Even though the characters are teenagers, the actors are commonly in their twenties and don't need make-up…most of the time!"
"My, that's…a very apt way of comparing the situations, Ed!" Edd placed his hand on Ed's shoulder.
"Wait a sec, guys! Think there's more than one thing goin' on here!" Eddy thought. "If they're willin' to come after us durin' school hours, that means they're either desperate or…"
"Or what, Eddy?" Edd asked Eddy to continue, not liking the sudden burst of silence.
"They're tryin' to keep us from gettin' in their way again! And I think "they" means "Teague" since Nazz told me that she personally talked to the guy! The son of a bitch!" Eddy finished.
"We have to find Teague and stop him before he makes another move!" Ed pointed his finger up.
"You three aren't going anywhere!" Hector (What an Ed wants, Hail to the Ed) appeared behind the three boys and pointed to the direction of his office, much to their frustration!
In Nazz's room, the bombshells were preparing for their big night by dressing a little nicer than usual! Holly was wearing a silk short-sleeve dress shirt, black dress pants, and was putting on black leather heels. Maggie was wearing the same dress shirt in pink, matching black leather heels, and was buttoning up her matching black pants. Nazz was buttoning up a shirt that was the same as her friends', but was purple, and was wearing matching dress pants and shoes. She looked in her mirror emotionless, still thinking about yesterday's fight with Eddy and everything he said.
"Hey, you know what? We should totally have our guys dance with us for the second song! Y'know! Make everything we do different from the last!" Holly suggested.
"That'd be a great idea, Holly, if Nazz and Eddy weren't taking a break!" Maggie reminded her friend. "And this is so not the right time for them to make-out to make-up! Still, we need you to have a positive attitude when we perform, Nazz! Nazz?"
"Can I ask you guys something?" Nazz turned around. "As long as you've known Eddy, have you ever, like, seen him take a beating?"
"Well, you told us that before he took martial arts, he was an easy target for Kevin, but…no! I've never seen Eddy come close to losing a fight!" Maggie replied. "Half the time when he says he's been in a fight, there's not a scratch on him because, well, with him, it's not really a fight as much as a massacre!"
"Why?" Holly wondered why Nazz asked such a random question.
"It's just…something doesn't add up about yesterday or the day before!" Nazz realized. "Yesterday, Coach Pierce said that Eddy tried to sneak away to his car, but he didn't say how Eddy got banged up so bad! In fact, he kinda avoided the question! And then he said that from a distance, it looked like he was threatening Ed and Double D into helping him. And if I know one thing, Eddy might be rebellious and sometimes deceitful, but I've only seen and heard him do nothing but look out for those two! He wouldn't relapse into that asshole his brother made him into!"
"Yeah! And the day before, he decided to shorten our run just so he could go check on the Eds!" Maggie added. "School policy says that the physical fitness instructor is supposed to be in the presence of his working students at all times, but that's not the only suspicious thing about his behavior!"
"You talking about why he felt the need to point a gun at someone even though they knocked on his door a few times?" Holly asked.
"Not just that!" Maggie continued. "Between us finishing our run, leaving to go home, and our men coming home almost an hour after we all left, that would give him more than enough time to…stir up trouble for them!"
"Well, there's something not right about that guy for sure, but can he really be what Eddy says he is?" Holly wondered. "A guy from the Death Shades of all places?"
"Not sure!" Nazz folded her arms suspiciously. "But I hate being lied to just as much as I do getting in a fight with Eddy! We're going back to that townhouse and make this "Coach Pierce" tell us the truth! Let's go girls!"
"Yeah!" Holly and Maggie followed Nazz off-screen.
The screen cut to the front of Ashton's townhouse, which Nazz's Altima parked in front of. The Bombshells got out of the car and dashed towards the front door. Nazz banged on the door three times before Ashton opened it.
"Ah, girls! Come on in!" Ashton invited them in, not knowing that they were onto him.
"We need to have a talk, sir!" Nazz folded her arms sternly.
"Okay, shoot!" Ashton did the same.
"When we talked yesterday, I asked you a couple times why Eddy looked like he took a beating, but you kept ducking the question!" Nazz started.
"What, you think I had something to do with that?" Ashton chuckled. "Eddy could've been somewhere before he went home and got thrashed or whatever! Did you think about-"
"My boyfriend was trained by one of the best martial artists in the country!" Nazz added. "There's not a lot of kids—scratch that—people who can even touch him much less damage him like that! Least not around here! I know this because I know a lot of people in this district and what they can do!"
"Also, you said the whole marine-trainer act was to motivate us into working harder and faster! If you really believed that, you wouldn't have cut our running time short and broke school policy just to confront one kid for being a constant pain to you!" Maggie joined in, causing Ashton to change his facial expression to anger.
"And by the way, the fact that you were standing behind the door the whole time with a gun not only tells us that you knew damn well that we were here even when you said you didn't, it tells us that you didn't want anyone to find you for whatever reason!" Holly realized, causing Nazz and Maggie to look at her surprised since they haven't seen her display some deductive prowess before.
"Now, we want the truth…sir!" Nazz cracked her knuckles as she clinched her fists. "Who are you?"
Ashton chuckled wickedly, "Someone who's never seen a loyal bitch when he was in school!"
"Bitch? That's it!" Nazz stomped towards Ashton, but just then, three men in black, obviously Shades members, jumped off of the stairs and attacked Holly and Maggie by tackling the two girls off-screen! The third one went for Nazz, but she front-kicked him in the groin and ran off into the kitchen!
"NO!" Ashton stopped the in-pain terrorist from giving chase. "She's mine!"
Ashton ran into the kitchen and attempted to corner Nazz a few times around the table and island counter! Just when it looked like she outsmarted him by sliding under the table and punching him in the groin, he pulled her back by her hair and kicked her against the counter!
Next, he grabbed her by the neck and slammed her harder against the counter before she grabbed his shirt and slammed him against the counter next to the refrigerator! She tried to deliver a swift punch and kick, but Ashton used the fridge door to block them before he successfully punched her in the face! Nazz ducked the next swing and managed to land a blow to the man's ribs! Nazz tried to deliver another blow, but Ashton once again used the refrigerator door as a shield and tried to use the freezer door to knock her out. Nazz ducked to avoid the freezer door and kicked the fridge door against Ashton to faze him a little! She moved the refrigerator door out of the way and tried to deliver a sucker-punch, but Ashton caught her fist punched her in the abdomen, slammed her head against the refrigerator, and knocked her onto the floor with an uppercut!
"You're a tough dragon, girl! Gotta give ya that!" Ashton snickered. "But your boyfriend's better!"
Nazz sprung herself back up in time to avoid a side-piercing kick by front-flipping out of the way and attempted to perform yet another sucker-punch, but failed when Ashton caught her fist, elbowed her in the abdomen, neck, and face, and slid her across the island counter before she landed on the eating table! She picked up a saltshaker and sprung herself off the table to avoid Ashton's sucker-punch. She tried to deliver a haymaker to Ashton, but he ducked and kicked her in the abdomen before she threw the saltshaker in the air and Ashton knocked it away distracted, allowing Nazz to finally land a clean blow to the man's face!
"Least you, like, fight more than you talk!" Nazz cracked her neck.
Ashton swung his right at Nazz, but she blocked it and tried to react with a cross-punch to the left cheek, but he caught it and successfully delivered a blow to her right cheek! But before he could deliver another one, she caught his fist and viciously head-butted him, breaking his nose! Wanting to end the fight, Nazz swung her left at the man, but he grabbed her arm, twisted it around her back, spun her around three times by both her twisted arm and hair, and tossed her into the living room, where one of the three terrorists successfully caught her and slammed her on the couch next to her friends!
"I gotta say, I didn't expect to take this huge a whiff of the potential you kids had in this place! Whoo!" Ashton clapped his hands excited. "You three poodles will make great labor sources for the big guy and all his works of art!"
"Labor sources?" Maggie repeated. "You're gonna turn us into slaves?"
"Don't worry, I know how to make it more fun for you! I'll make co-workers outta all your friends!" Ashton cackled as Nazz growled angrily.
Half an hour later, the Eds and Hector were in a hallway near some exit doors as they spoke with Police Commissioner Marsh, who had three SWAT officers escort the redheaded, blonde, and brunette terrorists to the truck outside. Marsh went to talk to another officer while Hector faced the Eds.
"For once, Gates, I'm proud of you! Yecch!" Caird shivered at the thought of what he just said to Eddy. "And I guess I'll…talk to the Board about automatically passing you for the physical fitness exam since you've been through two ordeals in two days!"
"Dudes day rules, guys!" Ed raised his hands happy!
Just then, Edd's cell phone rang before he looked at it with a surprised and suspicious facial expression.
"Odd." Edd muttered. "An unknown person is contacting me on my emergency phone number!"
"You have an emergency phone number? What the heck for?" Eddy chuckled.
"For Maggie and my family in case something appalling takes place when I'm not in their presence!" Edd replied. "But this number I do not recognize!"
"Lemme see that thing!" Eddy snatched the phone out of Edd's hand and developed surprised eyes, "Wait a freakin' minute! I know this number!" He answered, "What's goin' on?"
"Eddy?" Nazz whispered on the other end.
"Nazz?" Eddy recognized her voice. "Why you callin' Double D's phone?"
"He smashed Holly's and Maggie's phones, but forgot to see if I had mine!" Nazz replied.
"He?" Who's-?" Eddy suddenly developed bug-eyes knowingly. "Oh, god! Don't tell me-"
"Eddy, I'm so, so sorry! I should've known you were right all along about Pier-I mean, Ashton!" Nazz continued as the screen shifted to what appeared to be a stripped abandoned building of some kind, where Nazz and her fellow Bombshells could be seen trapped in the back of an obviously stolen prison bus. "He said he was going to have us delivered to the terrorist leader personally! Then, he's going to come for you guys and the others for slave labor like they planned!"
While Nazz was speaking with Eddy, Holly and Maggie (who positioned themselves in an angle that made it impossible to tell if whether or not Nazz was on the phone) were listening in on Ashton and a random terrorist's conversation.
"None of the kids are home." The terrorist informed Ashton. "They're all at a special event at some Sugar Bar. Too many people and witnesses to kill without causing the big guy problems."
"All right, tell him that we need the copter now and we'll drag the rest of the kids outta their houses at around 5:00 a.m!" Ashton sighed.
Back at the school…
"I'll tell Commissioner Marsh what's going on." Hector walked towards Marsh.
"To hell with cops! Ed, go get Nate, Kevin, and Rolf! They should still be throwin' ball on the field!" Eddy ordered, prompting Ed to comply and Hector to turn his attention to him. He (Eddy) spoke into the phone, "Nazz-"
"Gates, you stay put!" Hector demanded.
"Yeah, sure!" Eddy falsely (yet convincingly) agreed before Hector ran up to Marsh to tell him about the situation.
"Nazz, sweetheart, sit tight! I'm comin' for ya! Double D, get Maggie to describe the place they're at and see if either of you know what it is! We'll keep in touch!" Eddy took out his own phone.
"Affirmative!" Edd took back his phone.
"Did I hear there was a situation?" Nate, Kevin, and Rolf showed up on the scene with Ed.
"Yeah! Long story short, some terrorists kidnapped the Bombshells and I need to get on the road, but I can't use my car 'cause Pierce AKA Teague'll recognize it!" Eddy explained.
"Oh! Oh! I got an idea!" Ed raised his hand before the screen shifted to the student parking lot, where three large black motorcycles could be seen on kickstands.
"Doubt those three wannabes 'ill need these anymore!" Eddy hopped on one of the cycles, put on the helmet, and drove off to rescue the Bombshells.
"Let's ride!" The boys hopped in Nate's van (Edd sat shotgun while Ed, Kevin, and Rolf sat in the backseats) and rode off as well.
"All right, Maggie, let's review." Edd spoke on the other end of Maggie's phone. "You're incarcerated in a prison bus, yet the expanded area you are in hasn't a single object in sight. No shelves. No plants. Only cobwebs, dust, and echoes if one is too loud. And lastly, the building itself looks to be at least three stories high. If I'm not mistaken, which I know I'm not, the place that you are trapped within is—"
"Rathebone Hardware! Good job, Double D!" Maggie snapped her fingers before the screen shifted back to Edd, who called Eddy.
Eddy was in the middle of the street on his confiscated cycle as he spoke with Edd on the phone.
"The girls are being held captive at Rathebone Hardware, Eddy!" Edd told Eddy. "I can give you the directions if you-"
"Don't bother, Sockhead! Know where it is! Just go the short way since I covered the long one!" Eddy rode passed the screen.
In the abandoned warehouse, the girls were thinking of a way out of the prison bus as instructed by Eddy.
"This is so pointless, Nazz!" Maggie uttered. "There's a reason why this type of metal is used for prison buses! No one's meant to get out! Ashton and his gang of assholes knew that when they stole it!"
"But no prison bus can hold guys like Holly and Ed!" Nazz replied.
"What?" Holly looked at Nazz.
"You, like, crumpled a concrete ball at the junior/senior prom like it was nothing and ripped a four-door sedan in half last summer!" Nazz remembered. "You can do this!"
"Yeah, but I need the situation! The anger! The pain!" Holly explained. "Knowing that the boys are coming totally took all that negativity away!"
"Pretend Ed wasn't coming and you'd never see him again!" Nazz suggested.
Holly suddenly went into a fit of rage and punched the back of the bus, creating a hole more than large enough for the girls to escape through!
"Nice going, girl!" The Bombshells tried to make a run for the nearest exit, but was blocked by five armed terrorists, who heard the sound of the bus' partial destruction!
"Why're you three so anxious to leave?" One of them joked. "Copter's close-by! Wait a few seconds!"
That same terrorist pointed his rifle at Nazz and before he could pull the trigger (to injure, not kill her), she knocked the weapon in another direction, front-kicked him in the groin, punched him in the throat, forced him into unconsciousness by elbowing his neck, and kicked his rifle off-screen just as Maggie lunged for it and Holly made a run for the prison bus! Nazz ducked another terrorist's swing and delivered a blow to his face just as another terrorist came from behind Nazz and attempted to sucker-punch her, only to end up also punching that same terrorist! Prompting this, Maggie cocked the rifle she picked up and shot the terrorist that was behind Nazz in the left shoulder, forcing him to the floor!
"LET'S GO!" Nazz and Maggie made a run for the prison bus just as the three remaining able-bodied terrorists, rather than giving chase, prepared to shoot at both girls! But just before they could pull their respective triggers, they saw, to their horror, that Holly had just lifted the prison bus with her own two hands as she glared angrily at the terrorists!
"PISS…OFF!" Holly tossed the prison bus at the terrorists, who were far too frightened to move a muscle and ended up screaming hysterically before the bus expectedly crushed them all! Holly then ran with her fellow Bombshells out the no-longer guarded exit and ran around the building in an attempt to locate the street that the boys would find them on.
"THAT'S IT, GIRLS!" Nazz pointed to the street ahead, blocked only by a tall fence. But before they could even get close to the fence…
"Little dark for a walk, eh ladies? Wouldn't you prefer a nice ride in a helicopter?" Ashton himself suddenly jumped out in front of the girls with his CAR-15 pointed at them. He cocked it and subtly threatened, "Think about it! A gentle breeze in the beautiful night sky versus Hell-hot lead bullets and bloody coughs!"
"FUCK YOU!" Maggie snapped.
"Maybe in a few years…if you're lucky!" Ashton pointed his rifle at the girls, ready to injure, not kill, them. Before he could fire, however…
"YEE-HAW!" Eddy, in slow-motion, suddenly leapt over the tall fence on the screen's left in his confiscated motorcycle before he hopped off, sending the motorcycle crashing towards Ashton!
Realizing this, Ashton quickly back-flipped out of the way while the Bombshells, though out of the motorcycle's way, hit the deck when Ashton indirectly (and unsuccessfully) shot his gun in their direction!
"What the hell do you think you're-" Ashton, thinking that it was one of his own men that attacked him, stood up outraged just as Eddy tackled him down to the ground and knocked his gun out of reaching range with his helmet, revealing himself to the Bombshells and Ashton! "You!"
"Miss me, Ash?" Eddy sprung himself off of Ashton. "I came for them, but now, I wanna deal with you!"
"Well, these little tramps aren't goin' anywhere unless you deal with my friends, too!" Ashton spoke into his earpiece. "All of you! Outside! Now! Labor source is in jeopardy!"
Inside the warehouse, about fifteen armed terrorists were rushing down some stairs and heading outside to assist Ashton as one of them yelled, "You heard 'im! Outside to retain labor source! Absolutely no one's allowed to leave!"
"You're not the only one with friends, but'chu probably are if they're in low places!" Eddy smirked before, not a second too soon, Nate's blue van arrived on the scene, crashed through the tall fence, and swerved to a stop just as the sliding door opened and all of the boys (save for Edd) jumped out of the vehicle!
"Get set, boys!" Eddy ordered. "Some gun-holdin' pricks are 'bout to come out! Get in the van, girls!" The Bombshells made a run for Nate's van, but Ashton swiftly stood back up and grabbed Maggie by her hair!
"MAGGIE!" Edd shouted horrified.
"AAH! AAH! LET GO, YOU BASTARD!" Maggie tried to remove Ashton's hand, but he was too strong!
"Why the hell would I do that?" Ashton sneered. "'Cause of your friends? Way I see it, they volunteered to come along with ya!"
"What, again?" Eddy tackled Ashton off-screen, allowing Maggie to freely dive into Nate's van with Holly, but not Nazz since she decided to stay outside and join Nate, Ed, Kevin, and Rolf in their oncoming fight against Ashton's fifteen men, who came pouring out of the warehouse with their weapons cocked and ready!
"HERE THEY COME!" Kevin got into a battle-stance.
"ED, TAKE OUT THEIR GUNS!" Eddy got kicked onto the ground by Ashton, but nevertheless stood back up to engage him in another hand-to-hand battle!
"No weapons, chickenshits!" A light-bulb appeared over Ed's head before it turned into a lightning rod that he pointed at the terrorists! Just then, in a flash of yellow light, the terrorists' respective guns were destroyed, leaving them without an advantage!
"LET'S GET THESE MOTHER-FUCKERS!" Nate ran towards the terrorists first before his friends followed him into battle! Nate punched one terrorist in the stomach and kicked another one in the groin before he smashed their heads together, knocking them unconscious! He then ducked an oncoming terrorist's swing, put him in a headlock, and rapidly punched him in the face until he too fell unconscious!
"MAY THE GODS BE MERCIFUL TO YOU, IRKSOME RUFFIANS!" Rolf brutally and rapidly punched one terrorist in the stomach and just as another one tried to strike him from behind, he (Rolf) saw this, caught his arm, flipped him onto the ground and stomped on his neck! The first terrorist he dealt with, still injured, lunged at him, but Rolf grabbed his head and twisted it, forcing him into unconsciousness! Rolf then grabbed another oncoming terrorist by the throat and viciously choke-slammed him into unconsciousness!
Dealing with Ashton himself, Eddy ducked his swift kicks and blocked his rapid punches before he managed to strike him in the ribcage and in the jaw, but failed to block his (Ashton's) sucker-punch to his own jaw! Eddy swung his left at Ashton, but Ashton grappled onto the boy's arm and attempted to strike him with his (Ashton's) other arm, but Eddy grappled onto his arm, locking the two in a stalemate. They broke off and swiftly threw punches at one another, but ended up once again grappling onto each other's arms and trying to strangle one another with one of their respective hands! Ashton managed to land one clean blow to Eddy's face, but the boy topped that by using his left leg to kick Ashton in the head, breaking the stalemate!
Nazz heel-kicked one terrorist in the abdomen and elbowed one behind her in the ribcage before she knocked the latter unconscious with an elbow-blow to the neck! As for the first terrorist, she struck him in the jaw, head-slapped him, and knocked him out with a double-hammerfist! Another terrorist tried to deliver a blow to the back of her head, but she saw this, leg-swept him, knee-kicked him upwards, and kicked him across the air off-screen! She chuckled, "You know, for notorious bad guys, these jerks can't, like, fight for crap!"
"Course they can't fight! They're terrorists, babe! All they can do is shoot guns and blow shit up!" Kevin ran up to one terrorist and knocked him to the ground with an elbow-blow to the throat before he knocked that same terrorist out by performing a pile-driver! He then grabbed another terrorist by the shirt, kicked him in the groin, grabbed his head, and bashed it on his thigh before another terrorist came from behind him and successfully put him in a headlock! Kevin, however, didn't give up that easily, as he jumped up in the air and forced the terrorist to land painfully hard on his own back and release Kevin, who swiftly got up and knocked the terrorist out with a blow to the face!
Ashton tackled Eddy to the ground before he sprung himself back up, picked Eddy up by his shirt, and managed to land a blow to both sides of his jaw and abdomen before he landed one more blow to his left cheek and sent him off-screen! He attempted to land another one after he ran up to him, but Eddy blocked it, struck him in the neck, karate-chopped him on the neck, punched him in the ribs, grabbed his neck, and punched him off-screen (payback)!
Ed was dealing with the last three terrorists outside relatively quickly. He struck one terrorist in the face and in the abdomen before he grabbed him by the throat and tossed him off-screen. He then put another terrorist in a headlock, struck him in the ribcage and face, and kicked him into the sky like a kickball! The last one ran up to him and flashed a bright light in his eyes, making his vision blurry!
"LEAST YOU'RE SMARTER THAN YOUR CO-PARTNERS, SHITBAG!" Despite this, Ed could still see his enemy and managed to land a blow to his face! However, due to his blurred vision, he was unable to avoid a blow to his jaw, abdomen, and right cheek and was tackled to the ground. The terrorist then held Ed in a headlock, but because he had no chin, he slipped out of it and elbow-struck the terrorist three times in the ribcage! He then got up on his knees and was about to strike the terrorist once more, but he grabbed the boy's shirt and tossed him off-screen. By this time, Ed's vision had returned, and he took advantage of this by double-kicking the terrorist down and knocking him unconscious with a kick to the face! "My sister hits harder…literally!"
At the climax of their battle, Eddy and Ashton were staring each other down and carefully watching each other's movements. Ashton successfully distracted Eddy with a false punch and delivered a true one to his ribs, but when he attempted to do so a second time, Eddy caught and grappled onto his arm and viciously punched it before he successfully punched the man in the face! Ashton swiftly kicked Eddy a few feet back and delivered two more blows to his abdomen. Before he could deliver one to his face, the boy caught his fist, punched him in the throat, kicked him in the chest, and spun around once to kick him in the abdomen! He attempted to perform a roundhouse kick to the man twice, but failed both times when he ducked and back-bended! He then tried to strike Eddy one more time with a haymaker, but the boy ducked, jumped up in the air, and successfully performed a roundhouse kick to the back of Ashton's head, forcing him onto the ground and ending the fistfight!
"The hot blonde ain't to be touched…assclown!" Eddy spat, disgusted with his defeated opponent.
"All right, kid! Ya beat me!" Ashton snickered, implying that he wasn't giving up despite losing to Eddy in mortal combat. "But I still got, what'chu call 'em? Friends in low places!"
The kids all looked up and saw a black helicopter with the Death Shades' insignia (red skull-in-crossbones) painted on the right side flash its light on them as it descended towards the ground. The co-pilot released the ladder to allow Ashton to grab on and escape, much to Eddy's anger.
"By the way, you think you've won? The big guy wanted teenaged labor from Peach Creek and…well, let's just say that you and all your friends from the Estates aren't the only potential fish around here! Just the only ones we wanted, but didn't catch!" Ashton cackled, causing Eddy to frown at the thought that Ashton still won something out of all this despite his efforts to stop him. "See ya when I see ya…punk!"
Holding onto the copter as it flew off into the night sky, Ashton disappeared from the sight of all the kids.
"IF WE'RE PUNKS, HOW COME YOU RUNNIN'?" Nate shouted victoriously!
"We kicked ass!" Kevin and Nate high-fived.
"Ed kicked terrorists!" Ed squeezed Nate and Kevin in a bear hug, suffocating them!
"I have just contacted the authorities, everyone!" Edd spoke out the window. "They should be arriving momentarily!"
"Hey, guys, I'm glad we won and all, but I got the feeling we forgot something!" Holly scratched her head.
"Yeah, me too!" Maggie agreed.
"The re-opening night at the Sugar Bar!" Nazz gasped. "We, like, so totally forgot! We only have a minute to get there! We're so dead!"
"Not a chance, sweetheart!" Eddy looked at the camera. "Time to do another ultimate fourth-wall break and say all we have to do is shift the camera to the next set piece! Which is…the Sugar Bar! Cut, cameraman! Cut!"
The screen cut to the mega-packed Sugar Bar, where the Bombshells (now wearing white sports-bra-like tank-tops that exposed their stomachs and had the words "SUGAR BAR" across them, white daisy-dukes, and white short-heeled boots) were dancing on the renovated bar table to music sung by their favorite singer "Kamille". The Eds were up front dancing while Nate, Kevin, and Rolf were in the back dancing along with Jonny, Cody, Brooke, Twan, Tori, Jimmy, Sarah (both of whom obviously snuck here), and many teenagers from the school and previous season! When the song reached the near end of the lyrics, the Bombshells gave their boyfriends the seductive "come here" finger before they complied. Eddy took the mike as he got up on the bar table and stood behind Nazz.
"ALL RIGHT, THIS IS THE LAST ONE, SO LET'S MAKE IT COUNT!" Eddy yelled into the mike. "LET IT ALL OUT!"
The Eds danced (bumped and grinded) with their girlfriends on the bar table just as all the girls in the room sung Kamille's lyrics and the guys danced with the girls. Once the song reached its end lyrics, everyone ceased dancing and cheered wildly as the screen faded to black.
The screen reopened in the X-House kitchen, where the tired Eds and Bombshells (who were back to wearing what they were before the event at the Sugar Bar) just walked in muttering.
"So, big guy! I know this was a weird and wild night, but you…wanna have some quick fun?" Holly rubbed Ed's chest. "I could totally put some energy on the side for you!"
"Love to do more than one dance with you, gravy cake, but I really need to get some sleep!" Ed went into the fridge and took out a root beer.
"Mmm…okay, since you did come to my rescue! Well, it was actually Eddy, but he's got Nazz, but anyway!" Holly and Ed walked out of the kitchen and to the elevator to get to their respective rooms.
"You know, I so don't feel like crashing at my place tonight, so I think I'll stay here, too!" Maggie yawned. "Good night, muffin!"
"Sleep well, turtledove!" Edd and Maggie kissed each other good night before the latter walked out of the kitchen.
"Hell, all three of 'em got the right idea, but I gotta get somethin' off my chest right here and now." Eddy sighed, prompting his girlfriend and close friend to look at him. "Teague sent us a couple messages before he flew off. He said he already kidnapped some kids in Peach Creek for slave labor and then he said with his fucked up teeth "See ya when I see ya!" I dunno 'bout you guys, but I don't think what just went down tonight is over. Not by a long shot!"
"Like, what are you saying, Eddy?" Nazz placed her hand on his shoulder. "That Ashton will be back or something?"
"Why should it be him?" Eddy looked at her. "This big guy he's been talkin' about is bound to have more than one high guy in his pocket! Don't think we should get careless 'till we're sure this is done with!"
"I agree with Eddy, Nazz!" Edd joined in. "A notorious terrorist assemblage such as the Death Shades isn't inclined to abandon the individuals who temporarily bested them while they remain living and active! Tonight's events solidified our intertwined fates with these merciless hooligans until further notice! But I believe this is a conversation and situation worth paying attention to for another time, as I too feel rather, yawn, exhausted! Pleasant dreams, friends!"
"Later, Sockhead!" Eddy waved good night to Edd as he left for the elevator.
"Night, Double D!" Nazz waved good night to Edd. She turned her attention to Eddy, "And you! Did I give you an apology for not believing you about Ashton?"
"Yeah, but…I think we both know you owe me more than an apology, sweetheart!" Eddy raised his left eyebrow suggestively.
Nazz, knowing what he meant, pushed him against the counter, took his shirt off, and made-out with him passionately! Eddy grabbed Nazz's waist, picked her up, and sat her down on the counter. He unbuttoned her purple dress shirt to reveal her black bra as he continued to make out with her!
The camera shifted to Rolf's room, which changed drastically over the years. He now had posters of women from his country dressed in wool and/or fur bikinis on all four of his walls, a set of unnaturally large weights in one corner of his room, a lamp that was shaped like a cow standing up, and a king-sized bed. Rolf himself, exhausted like his friends, walked into the room humming a tune as he drunk a green liquid of some kind.
"Hallo!" Rolf noticed a large yellow envelope on his bed and opened it up. Once he pulled out what was inside, he changed his facial expression from jolly to disgruntled as he mentally read the stern note at the top, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YER DOING?"
"Is this a joke?" Rolf tossed the note to the side and spread out three sheets of apparent photos in his hand. He then developed a surprised facial expression and dropped the photos onto the floor! "So…it begins! Rolf smelled the arrival of this before he engaged in this, yes? No regrets!"
As Rolf flopped on his bed to rest, the camera slowly shifted to the three black and white photos on the floor. The first one depicted a nude Rolf (his midsection off-screen) holding an also nude long-haired girl in his arms (her face could not be seen and while her midsection was off-screen as well, part of her leg could be seen) in the shower, obviously engaging in sexual intercourse!
The second one depicted the girl on top of Rolf (although, only her bare back could be seen) with her arms around his neck and his arms around her body to cover up her rear!
The last one showed Rolf on top of her under his bed sheets as they kissed passionately! In this one, her face could be seen. It was none other than Kanker leader: Lee! However, Lee looked very different. She was much more stunning than she had been physically portrayed earlier on in the show. Her long red hair was beautifully curled and she appeared to be wearing heavy eyeliner and make-up. As the camera zoomed in on the last photo, the screen faded to black.
End of episode 11
Tribute: Sugar Bar manager "Melissa Cervantes" is named for and modeled after another one of my high school friends "Melissa Briceno".
Maggie's "Please stay with us, Holly" line is a direct mirrored reference to the episode "Sorry Wrong Ed", where Edd (Maggie's boyfriend) told Ed (Holly's boyfriend) the exact same thing!
Phoenix's note: All right, fans! Hope you enjoyed the season premiere/"re-airing" of Edolescence! Next episode (while of course involving the Eds) will focus on the characters Twan, Jimmy, Brooke, and Lee! By the way, were you shocked to find out something was going on between her and Rolf and why Rolf doesn't seem to be upset about it (even though somebody else knows)? To find out more, you HAVE to stay tuned for episode 12!
Title reference: Feel the burn!
Acknowledging the reference: Even though this mostly has to do with Ashton Teague (disguised as Gavin Pierce) forcing the kids to go through a brutal fitness regimen, it also refers to how the Death Shades feel about getting their butts kicked by a bunch of teenagers!
