A/N: Thanks for reading! This chapter is part two and three from tumblr. The next chapter will be completely new.
Ms. Trinket had a strict policy about cell phone use during work hours. Katniss wasn't allowed to touch her own but was expected to keep the iPhone Effie had purchased for her within reach at all times. Katniss was to answer it, always, even if she was in the middle of speak with one of Effie's clients on the landline.
She was getting pretty good at having two conversations at once.
She had never minded the policy before. Prim and Prim's school had both of her work numbers, and that was all that had mattered.
Until.
Until Peeta Mellark spent the entire Meet and Greet after the concert trying to catch her eye and smiling whenever he succeeded. Until Peeta Mellark had insisted Annie and Katniss trade places, so Katniss could have at least one picture with the group. Until Peeta Mellark had swiped her cell phone and took a selfie.
Until Peeta freaking Mellark had entered his number into her phone and set his stupid, perfect picture as the contact photo.
And then texted her the next day.
They had texted everyday in the three weeks that followed, but since he was on tour, he was busy nearly every minute of every day. He had a little downtime during the afternoon between traveling and doing press, but it was always while she was at work. By the time she arrived home, he was already at a new venue, rehearsing.
They were never available at the same time, except for last Sunday when there had been no press, no meet and greets, no performance. They had texted back and forth for two uninterrupted hours.
Peeta had wanted to call. He had said he wanted to hear her voice, but he was almost never alone, and there was no way in hell he was going to let the guys eavesdrop on their conversation.
Katniss glanced over at the clock in the corner of her computer screen. It had been 12:58 PM for at least ten minutes, and Katniss had been proofreading the same sentence for at least twice as long. Effie had an engagement this afternoon that would occupy her for the rest of the day (and, Katniss thought with a smirk, the rest of the night), so she would be leaving soon. Katniss would finally have a very rare lunch hour that wasn't consumed with work.
Technically, the no personal cell phone policy did not apply to Katniss's lunch hour. So today, for the first time in at least three months, she was going to set at her desk, eat her lunch, and use her damn phone.
She had woken up this morning to a picture of a smiling but exhausted Peeta who had clearly just finished another meet and greet. His hair, which was usually slicked back with globs of gel for his shows had reverted to its natural unruly state. It made her think of bedhead, of what he would look like waking up next to her. If that hadn't been enough, his very simple message of "goodnight miss you" had sent her into a tailspin.
What were they doing? Why was she imagining him in her bed? And why was she letting whatever this was happen?
She liked routine. She liked knowing what to expect. She had enough anxiety and uncertainty in her life without adding some guy she barely knew into the mix. At the same time though, his messages made her happy. She felt like a teenager again, distracted by a cute boy rather than worries about money. His messages transported her back to the easy days before her father's death. Before her mother's nervous breakdown. Before she had to figure out how to be an adult and take care of her family.
He made her feel lighter. Carefree.
"Katniss, dear, I need you to pick up my dry cleaning. Everything can be dropped off at my apartment, but the green Gucci must be left here."
Katniss, who had zoned out in front of her computer screen, said nothing.
Effie took a few steps closer, her six-inch heels click-clacking loudly against the hardwood floor. "Katniss?"
Effie leaned over the desk and snapped her manicured nails in front of Katniss's face. Katniss jumped, her hands flying to the keyboard as if she could pretend she had been busy this entire time.
"Did you hear me?" Effie asked. "It's very important you get my dry cleaning."
"Yes, no problem, Ms. Trinket."
"And you'll leave the green Gucci dress here?"
"Yes."
"You know which one the Gucci is, right? I don't need to quiz you again?"
Katniss rolled her eyes. Her first couple of weeks as Effie's assistant involved hours of poring over pictures of designer dresses until Effie was satisfied that Katniss knew the labels by heart. Effie still tested her monthly, insisting Katniss had to keep her knowledge current.
"Yes, I remember. I'll leave it hanging on your door for you."
"Wonderful. Well, Cinna's flight just got in. We'll probably have a long lunch. I don't expect to be back in today."
"You've got a room at The Victors' Villas," Katniss said. "Check in is at 3:00."
Effie wobbled in her heels as she bent to pick up her purse. "Right. Yes. Thank you."
While Effie, who believed in manners above all else, preferred to pretend her fashion model turned designer boyfriend was only a business associate, Katniss knew better. After all, someone had to book the hotel rooms.
As soon as Effie's steps faded away, Katniss ripped open her purse and powered on her phone.
Peeta: I hope Effie isn't driving you crazy today
Peeta: do you ever wear your hair down?
Peeta: I'm being creepy and stalking your facebook page
Peeta: don't get me wrong I love your braid but now I'm wondering if you have some kind of medical condition that doesn't allow you to take it out
Peeta: and now i'm making you feel bad about your medical condition
Peeta: I only slept for two hours last night I'm sorry
Peeta: what are you having for dinner
Peeta: describe to me your home cooked meal
Peeta: can you tell I'm getting desperate for home? thank god our last show is tomorrow night
Fighting off a ridiculously huge smile, Katniss checked the timestamps. The first few had been sent this morning, shortly after she had arrived at work and powered off her phone. The last three had been sent fifteen minutes ago. She quickly typed a response and held her breath, hoping he wasn't busy.
Katniss: 1. I like my braid do not question it 2. sorry to disappoint but dinner is still a mystery. 3. are you happy the tour's almost done or are you going to miss it
Peeta: i like your braid too
Peeta: I love it actually
Peeta: I'm stilI running on two hours of sleep I shouldn't be allowed to text anyone at this stage of exhaustion
Peeta: I also think I'm going deaf from all the screaming, crying girls. I love our fans really I do but my ears cant take it much longer
Katniss: oh I can imagine how hard it is to have all those girls throwing themselves at you every night
Peeta: you do know the majority of our fans are extremely underage right? The rest are their mothers
Katniss: not so fast…I know at least one adult woman who is obsessed with your group
Peeta: is her name Katniss? ;)
Katniss: actually I was referring to Annie. she's in love with your lead singer.
Peeta: he has that effect on people. But what about you?
Katniss: oh yeah, I'm in love with Finnick too. Can you tell him I asked about him?
Peeta: you're hilarious
Katniss: my deadpan humor does translate well over text
Peeta: you know what I meant
Katniss: well I no longer turn off the station when you come on the radio
Peeta: stop please I'm blushing
Peeta: can I see you this weekend?
Katniss nearly dropped her phone. She couldn't follow the mental leap he had made from harmless banter to asking her out. Wait, no, not asking her out. More like hanging out, right?
He wanted to see her.
Why did he want to see her?
She put her phone down and turned back to her computer, wishing she could freeze time just for a couple of minutes so she could think. She didn't want to take too long to answer, but she had no idea what to say.
For all she knew, Peeta had a whole contact list of girls from different cities, girls to text him good morning and good night, girls that replied to his pictures with pictures of their own, the kind of pictures she'd never be willing to take no matter the distance.
Somehow, she doubted this. He didn't seem like the type of guy who juggled numerous girls. He seemed nice. Genuine. On the other hand, she had only seen him in person once, and while she had learned a lot about him over the past three weeks, she still hardly knew him.
But wasn't that the point of hanging out? Getting to know the other person better?
Ugh. Their relationship, friendship, whatever-ship was the very definition of uncertainty, but maybe if he came to see her, it would become more clearly defined?
She was getting ahead of herself. They were friends, nothing more. Nothing needed to be defined. She had a long-distance friendship with a famous pop star. No big deal.
And anyway, if she shut out the worries and misgivings she had, if she ignored all the possible what-if scenarios running through her head and focused only on the facts, her response was clear. After all, there were only two important facts:
He wanted to see her.
And she really, really wanted to see him.
Katniss: yes
"You look beautiful!" Annie said.
Katniss frowned at her reflection. She supposed she looked better than usual thanks to Annie's handiwork. She had been sitting on the couch, watching reruns of Modern Familyand unable to stop her legs from jiggling, when Annie had come home, taken one look at her, and said, "Absolutely not."
A green knee length dress with lacy cap sleeves replaced Katniss's jeans and cardigan. She scrubbed her face clean of the little make-up she wore and allowed Annie to play beautician. Annie had been careful not to overdo it: foundation, a little blush, and delicate, winged eyeliner.
Katniss had been prepared to fight Annie on her braid until she remembered Peeta's text messages. She knew he had been teasing her, but she wanted to surprise him. Maybe impress him.
So she sat very still while Annie put a few loose curls in her hair and held back a litany of swear words when Annie accidentally burned her earlobes.
"Are you sure this isn't too much?" Katniss asked.
"No, you look perfect! A pretty dress, a little make-up, and tada! First date ready," Annie said. "I bet he's going to take you somewhere nice. He didn't give you a single clue?"
"Nope. Just a time."
The arrangements had been done via text on Thursday, the afternoon of Peeta's last concert. Peeta had promised to take care of everything. All she had to do was provide her address. He sent her his flight information, promised to show up at six on Saturday night, and then, nothing. She had texted him a couple of times to ask how his last show had gone and tell him she was excited to see him, but she hadn't heard back until this morning when he had sent her a picture of his feet next to his carry-on.
Beneath the picture, it had simply read, "on my way."
No exclamation points. No smiley faces. No excitement. The lackluster message was much worse than his silence. It was as if he regretted planning the trip but was still coming out of obligation.
To make matters worse, this was her first date in a long time. Her last serious relationship had begun the end of her senior year in high school and had lasted a year and a half. Cato had been great at first, but a few months in, he started showing his true colors. Katniss, who was stressed and struggling to take care of her sister and mother, was grateful to have a boyfriend at all. As her mother got worse, it was nice to be able to turn to Cato and let him take care of her. He was attentive in bed and gave the best back massages, but unfortunately he had little patience for what he called her "family bullshit."
Their relationship was rocky long before Mrs. Everdeen's first suicide attempt, but Katniss knew Cato wouldn't stick around after that. And to be honest, it no longer mattered. Katniss didn't need Cato. She didn't need anyone. She had bigger things to worry about than a sneering boy who had never struggled a day in his life.
She wasn't entirely sure how dating worked anymore, especially now that she was twenty-two. Did guys expect sex on the first date? Yeah, guys had expected it when she was a teenager, but that didn't mean they were going to get it. But she was older now. An adult. Sex on the first date happened.
Did she want it to happen? Cato was the only guy she had ever been with, and look how well that turned out.
A knock at the door pulled her away from the bathroom mirror. She wasn't going to overthink this. This was the same sweet, funny guy she had been texting for the past few weeks. This was no big deal. This was—
Oh, shit. It really wasn't a big deal. She swung open the apartment door to reveal an almost unrecognizable Peeta wearing a baseball cap, hoodie, and faded pair of jeans.
She was going to kill Annie. Right now. She would excuse herself, shut the door, wait until Peeta took the hint and left, and then she would murder her roommate for talking her into this dress.
"Wow," Peeta said. "You look gorgeous."
"I'll be right back," Katniss said in a surprisingly steady voice. She disappeared down the hall, leaving a very confused Peeta standing in the doorway.
Katniss closed herself in Prim's room, who, thankfully, was sleeping over her friend Rue's house and knew nothing about Katniss's date. Otherwise, Prim, Rue, and several of their friends would have been crammed into the living room to witness her embarrassment.
Through the walls, Katniss heard Annie greet Peeta and invite him inside. Katniss cringed. How could she have left him standing there like that? At least Annie had been polite.
And really, this wasn't Annie's fault. After all, Katniss was the one who assumed it was a date, and Annie had just been trying to help. She felt like an idiot. Of course he wasn't interested in dating her. He was ridiculously handsome, crazy talented, and a member of the hottest band in the country. He could literally have any girl he wanted.
Besides, he had never once used the word date. All he said was that he wanted to see her. Hang out. She had injected her own meaning into his words. This was no one's fault but her own.
Katniss stood in the center of the room and took a deep breath. This was ridiculous. She had been in much worse situations. So she had dressed up for a low-key hangout. Whatever. If Peeta was as nice as she thought he was, he wouldn't tease her about it. She wasn't going to let this ruin the night.
She pulled off the dress and slipped into her original outfit: jeans, flats, a billowy tank top, and a green cardigan. At the last minute, she twisted her hair into her usual braid.
Annie spun around to face her as soon as she emerged from Prim's room. With wide eyes, Annie mouthed 'I'm sorry' but Katniss smiled and shook her head slightly.
"Well, have fun you two," Annie said.
Peeta shook Annie's hand. "It was nice seeing you again." He followed Katniss out the door.
"You changed," he said as they headed toward the elevator.
"Oh yeah, I was little overdressed," Katniss replied, staring straight ahead.
"You looked gorgeous. You should have left the dress on. Make people wonder what a slob like me is doing with a girl like you."
Her cheeks burned. She hoped the make-up Annie applied hid it. "I'm more comfortable like this, anyway."
"Okay, but I saw your hair down. I know it's possible," he said and pushed the elevator button. "Sorry, by the way. I should have warned you I'd be dressed down. This is my incognito, please-don't-let-legions-of-screaming-preteens-recognize-me look."
"That's a very specific look."
"I've had a while to perfect it. Where should we go for dinner?" he asked as the doors slid open.
Another pang of disappointment hit her, displacing the pleasure his compliment had given her. It wasn't as if she had expected him to appear at her door in a suit with reservations to a swanky restaurant. But she had expected something. A little excitement. A nice shirt. A plan.
"Sorry, I've only been to Connecticut on tour. I wasn't sure what was good around here."
"It's no problem," Katniss said. "I've got a place in mind."
This was terrible. No, excruciating. Peeta had glanced at his phone at least five times since a waitress had led them to their seats at The Hob Bar & Grille. He kept looking around too, as if expecting to see someone he knew. Someone infinitely more interesting than her.
Their conversation started, sputtered out, and died. Repeatedly. Despite trying to sweep the feelings aside, she was still embarrassed and disappointed about the confusion earlier. It was obvious now that this wasn't a date. This was barely dinner between friends.
When Peeta frowned down at his cell phone again, Katniss spoke up. "Do you need to call someone?"
"Oh no, I'm sorry." He sighed and shoved his phone back into his pocket. "I should just turn this off."
"It's okay if you do. If Effie calls in the next hour, I have to answer or she'll hunt me down." Katniss gave him what she hoped was an encouraging smile.
Before Peeta could reply, the waitress brought over their meals.
"Can I get you two anything else?"
They shook their heads. Katniss wondered if the waitress noticed the tension, if she could recognize how terribly this was going.
"I hope you had a chance for a home-cooked meal before you got here," Katniss said.
"Huh?" Peeta had been studying his bacon cheeseburger quite intently. "Oh, right. Yeah."
She could just smile back at his lame response and dig into her food. There was no need for scintillating conversation as they devoured their burgers. Then, he would drive her home in painful silence, and the night would finally, blessedly end.
But she had to find out what had happened. How had their three weeks of flirting turned into this?
"Peeta, is there something wrong?"
"No," he said way too quickly.
Katniss pushed her plate forward and rested her hands on the table. "Look, if you regret coming out here, it's fine. Just tell me."
"What? No! No, that's not it."
"Then, what is it?"
He pulled off his baseball cap and ran a hand through his hair. The appearance of his blonde curls was almost enough to distract her from the situation, but then he had to go and open his mouth.
"I know about your mom."
She must have heard him wrong. She wished, desperately, that she had heard him wrong. But the nausea that swept over her, the same sickness that always hit her when her mother was mentioned, said otherwise.
"Excuse me?"
"I'm sorry. Haymitch ran a background check on you. I had no idea about your mom or that you're Prim's legal guardian. I just thought—"
She couldn't believe how fast the residual embarrassment and disappointment disappeared as anger took their place. "Of course you didn't," she cut in. "That's not something you casually share over a text message with someone you've known less than a month."
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have—"
Despite the anger roaring through her, she managed to keep her voice steady. "I'm not hungry anymore."
She stood, her face a blank slate, her hands still and calm, and walked toward the exit.
She heard the clatter of silverware, the scrape of his chair. She heard him call out her name. But she didn't stop.
The night was warm, too warm for mid-September. The air felt heavy against her skin, thick and sticky. It was making her light-headed. She wished they had taken her car to the restaurant, so she could jump in, turn up the air conditioner, and drive home without another word.
But they had taken his rental.
"Katniss, wait!"
She was already halfway down the block, walking past an ice cream shop, but she spun around at the sound of his voice.
"What else did it say?" she demanded, her jaw clenched. "Did you see my grades from my one and only semester at community college? What about my eviction notice from my last apartment?"
"I'm so sorry," Peeta said. "I never should have read what he found. He was just worried."
"Worried about what? That I'm looking to make a quick buck off you? Is that what you think?"
"No! Haymitch is an idiot. He just wants to protect his product. Finnick has had a few bad experiences in the past, girlfriends selling private pictures of the two of them, and—"
"Wait." Katniss held up her hand. Her throat ached the way it always did when she wanted to cry, but she was not going to cry over a guy, especially one from a stupid, overhyped boy band. "Is that why you were sending me pictures? Were you waiting to see if I sold them?"
"No! God, no, I was just trying to flirt with you!"
"Well, you're really shitty at it," she snapped. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a group of teenage girls staring at them through the glass front of the ice cream shop. Perfect. They had an audience.
"Can we start tonight over? Please?"
She turned away from the girls and stared at Peeta. He looked so sad, so earnest. She didn't know how to explain that there was no reset button for the situation. She felt raw and exposed. All she had wanted was a fun night out with a guy she liked, and instead, he had dug up the painful bits of her past. Did the rest of the band know? Did they think she was using Peeta too? Maybe they pitied her instead.
She wasn't sure which was worse.
Just thinking about her mother's suicide made her want to crawl into bed. She hated that feeling of sadness and hopelessness, the kind that went bone deep and stole all her energy. It scared her.
She wouldn't give into it. She wouldn't let Prim down. She would let herself be sad tonight, but tomorrow when she woke up, it would be like tonight had never happened.
"I'm really tired. I'd rather just go home."
Peeta stared at her for a moment, as if contemplating his next move. Would he keep trying? A part of her wanted him to, wanted him not to give up despite his colossal fuck up.
Finally, he said, "Okay. Stay here. I'll pull the car around."
She didn't know why she was disappointed. She had told him she wanted to go home. What had she been thinking anyway? He would sweep her off her feet like some Hollywood romance? Not likely.
"No thanks. I'll find my own way home."
"Katniss, please. Let me drive you home."
"I'll be fine."
She was about to turn around when he grabbed her hand. She hated the way her heart sped up when he touched her. She yanked her arm away.
"Can I see you tomorrow?" he asked. "Let me make this up to you."
"You can't," she said. "And don't worry about your pictures ending up online. I'll be deleting them all tonight."
She knew she was being childish in her attempt to hurt his feelings, but she hated that he could make her feel this way. This was why she didn't date. This was why she didn't try. She didn't have any more room in her life for disappointment and heartache.
"Katniss, this is not how we're saying goodbye."
She squeezed her eyes shut. She was so tired, so done with this entire day. It was time to put this night out of its misery.
She looked over at the ice cream shop. The girls were still there, eating and sneaking glances outside. Katniss wondered how old they were. If they were fans of District*4.
She knocked on the window, startling them.
"Hey!" she shouted. "Can you believe it? It's Peeta Mellark!"
The girls looked past her at Peeta. A couple of them looked confused, but a tall blonde girl let out a shriek. "I knew he looked familiar!"
"Katniss, come on," Peeta said.
The girls rushed out, chattering excitedly, pulling out their cellphones, asking for pictures.
Peeta, the perfect, doting star, smiled at the group and began posing for pictures, a fake smile plastered on his face.
Katniss walked off. She didn't bother looking back.
