"Noooo!"
Caillou's shrieks echoed through the house and found their way into the kitchen as Daddy dragged him towards the stair landing.
Rosie heard Caillou and giggled.
"Well, Caillou, aren't we a little bitch today?" said Mommy, loud enough for Caillou to hear. "Isn't that right, Rosie?" she added to Rosie in a loud whisper.
And Rosie giggled all the harder.
Soon, there was a loud rumbling noise and a rhythmic "Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-OWWW!"
"What's that, honey?" Mommy asked Rosie. "Let's go see!"
When they went to check, they saw Daddy pulling Caillou, by his LEG, down the stairs. Every time they went down a step, Caillou hit his head on the stair above it, because he was being dragged. This explained for the noisy rumbling.
"OW-OW-OW!" screamed Caillou. "OW! OWW! OWWW! OOOWWWW!" After Daddy was completely on the first floor, Caillou hit his head on the last step. But by this time, Caillou's head and neck area had become so weak from all the blows from the stairs, that after he hit that last step, his perfectly-round head became detached from the rest of his body, blood spewing from both places.
The head bounced down the hallway, emitting a shrill exclaim of "MOMMYYYYY! DADDYYYYY! I have NO BODYYYYYY!"
Everyone but Caillou and Daddy laughed. Even Gilbert was trying to stifle a chuckle. But Daddy wasn't in a laughing mood.
"CAILLOU! WHYYY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE!?" He was so angry he was almost in tears.
Caillou's head bounced into the kitchen. Daddy followed, lugging the rest of him. He quickly caught up with him, screwed Caillou's disembodied head back onto his body, and wrapped duct tape around his neck to keep things together and stop the bleeding.
Caillou felt the top of his head and immediately began to whine again. "DADDYYYYY! I have no HAIR!"
Nobody was laughing this time.
"Shut your trap, Caillou!" screamed everybody.
"Birdie!" yelled Rosie, giving Caillou the middle finger.
"Caillou spazzed out when Rosie flipped him the bird," said the grandma-narrator out of nowhere.
Everyone looked around.
"Who said that?" said Mommy.
"All right, everyone, dinnertime!" Daddy said cheerfully as he forcefully threw Caillou into his chair.
"I thought it was lunchtime!" said Caillou.
"Caillou, we had lunchtime two hours ago!" said Mommy, trying to sound happy, but she was a little angry. "Now it's suppertime, and we're having lasagna!"
"YAY!" shouted Caillou.
Daddy began to make the plates, relieved that this bad day was probably finally over.
But alas, it was not. Unfortunately for him, Odie the puppy, who had a bad habit of playing in other people's cartoons, leaped through the kitchen window, pushing Caillou out of his chair onto the floor.
Daddy overreacted a little. "HOLY CRAP, HE'S MAKING TRACKS ALL OVER MY GODDAMN KITCHEN!" he shouted.
"Sorry, Odie, this isn't Muncie, Indiana!" Mommy laughed. She was the only one who recognized this dog.
Odie sighed.
Caillou gasped. "Mommyyyy!" he squealed happily, "It's a puppy! Can he play with us? Please! Please! PLEASE!?"
"Okay," said Mommy, smiling. But Daddy wasn't smiling. He was very angry at his son.
Odie barked and panted, wagging his tail.
"What are you doing here, puppy?" asked Caillou.
The yellow dog began to explain (in barks) that he was sent here by Garfield to get lasagna for him because he was too sleepy.
"What's he saying, Mommy?"
"I don't know, I don't speak dog," Mommy replied, amused.
"Can he stay for supper, Mommy?" begged Caillou.
Odie heard the word "supper" and a sonar beeped in his head. In the time it took Caillou to get up, the black-spotted puppy hopped into Caillou's chair, spotted Caillou's plate, JUMPED ONTO THE TABLE, and ate almost worse than his comic's main character, causing sauce to splatter all over the walls.
"OH, SHIT!" screamed Daddy. "THAT STUPID DOG IS MAKING A HUGE DAMN MESS!"
Odie swallowed without chewing, licked all the sauce and stuff off the plate, belched, and pointed at the pan.
"Want MORE?" asked Mommy, giggling.
Odie barked for her to put the lasagna in a plastic food container.
"Here's your lasagna to-go, honey!" As he left the room, since he didn't wipe his mouth, Odie gave the family a complimentary trail of drool throughout the first floor as a farewell present.
"Ew," winced Mommy. "Why couldn't he wipe his mouth, or at least thank us for the meal?"
Daddy slapped Mommy silly upside the head. "You stupid idiot! Cats don't talk! They think everything!"
"That was a dog, you moron," said Mommy.
"OH GODDANG IT!" cried Daddy.
