"We have a mission, idiot bean sprout."

Allen curses silently and slowly turns in his seat to face Kanda, who seems to be glaring at him with much more hatred than usual. Which was probably because he had been pelted by his Clown Belt. Inwardly, Allen cringes in shame.

"It's Allen, pretty face. And just let me finish my food." He huffs casually, turning around.

He blinks when, all of a sudden, the apple he had just about to give to Timcampy is speared by a sword. More specifically, Kanda's sword. The juice slides down the blade slowly and he stares at it, mesmerized for some absurd reason.

"What did you just call me?" Kanda hisses out, and it's only than Allen realizes what he had just called the other man.

Did I… Did I just really just have to call him pretty face, of all things?

"BaKanda." Allen says simply, drawing from his reservoirs of cheating, lying, and all things dark and scary. It's only for a split second that he is thankful he has been under Cross' tutorage, but it's gone as quickly as it had come. "Your hearing must be going."

"I heard 'pretty face', bean sprout. Do you want to die young?" Kanda threatens, deathly quiet. Something inside of Allen dies a little but his smile stays on his face, even when he turns around and stares straight into Kanda's eyes.

"Like I said, BaKanda, your hearing must be going if you hear me calling you pretty." He shrugs, hands coming up, palms flat, in a gesture that screams 'what can you do?'.

Then Allen finds himself wiping across the table after being punched square in the jaw, food falling left and right as he hears gasps and a sharp "Kanda!" around him.

When he looks up, hand rubbing his jaw, Kanda's coat is disappearing around the corner and Lenalee and Lavi are in front of him, pulling him up by his shirt sleeves.

"Are you alright Allen?!" Lenalee looks worried, brows furrowed angrily over her eyes. "Sometimes, Kanda is so- so-"

"I'm guessing it didn't go well last night." Lavi says dryly, wiping some food off of Allen's shoulders into Timcampy's awaiting mouth.

Here, Allen laughs weakly, hand reaching up to pick at some drying ketchup in his hair.

"No." He says, looking down. "It never does with Kanda."

------

"Oh, All- Oh. Allen, what happened to you now?" Komui stares at him from over the tops of his glasses, hands holding a pile of papers which Allen guesses must be the mission report. Allen just smiles and walks towards the couch which holds A Very Angry Looking Kanda.

"Oh, I just fell asleep while eating." Allen lies and sits down primly on the couch, refusing to look at Kanda because he really should be concentrating on the mission, not checking the other exorcist out.

"Uh huuuuuh." Komui drawls, looking Allen up and down. Allen smiles (and, in his head, worries insistently if the insane scientist made up a lie detector that could draw out the truth with just a look).

But then Komui perks up and smiles, handing them separate sheets. "Well, anyway, the innocence is in Germany and the basic summary is that a doctor is healing people at a phenomenal rate. The thing is, apparently, the doctor in question died months ago. So go check it out."

Allen and Kanda nod and leave after sorting out a few of the details, which is when Reever comes in and starts yelling at Komui to get back to work. They're silent until, in an abandoned hallway, Kanda slams him against the wall.

He gasps out, his eyes slamming shut as his body tries to draw in large, gasping breathes against the fore arm pressed against his throat.

Allen opens his eyes a slit, hands shooting up to Kanda's arm, clawing at it desperately but not with a lot of conviction- because, yeah, maybe it is his fault Kanda is so pissed off. Actually, yeah. It is his fault.

What he sees is Kanda, probably a lot closer than he should be, eyes narrowed, mouth set in a scowl.

And then a realization, because his heart is beating fast and not because he's getting turned on by the boy. Not because Kanda is a lot closer than he would be comfortable with, usually. Not because Kanda is staring at him, straight in his face, nostrils flaring and eyes a dark, dark shade of blue.

He doesn't mind the fighting and the anger and the quasi hatred and- all of Kanda's attitude, really, at all. It's- part of routine. He accepts it. He isn't scared- just- apprehensive. His heart beats fast but- he doesn't mind this- at all-

He doesn't care if Kanda is angry at him or hates him or just plain doesn't want to see him- he still likes him. He still wants Kanda, yeah, but not just physically anymore.

This is the realization that makes him gasp harder and grip Kanda's arm, who, in turn, loosens up a little but just scowls even harder.

"Don't fuck this up." He spits, and suddenly he is gone, coat and Allen's eyes following him, all just passion and beautiful rage.

Allen takes large breathes, leaning his head against the wall, and despairs because he's going to spend a month with a boy that hates him.

------------

It's been two weeks and they're heading back from Germany on a dingy boat. Allen is out at the railing at the bow, wondering why the world can be so cruel to people who don't deserve it.

The doctor, as it turns out, was dead, and had been dead for two months- the innocence in question had been controlling his body because of his wish to heal the people of the world. But the people he healed always died a week later because he had to suck their life force drastically to keep his body moving.

When he had learned what he had been doing, he had actually given up his chance at another life with his wife and children. Allen's heart hurt just thinking about it, because the man had been so sad when he had learned he had actually been killing people.

Kanda had even let him talk to the man before taking action, which actually was a the gory part of the mission- they had to take the innocence out of the man's brain. So, well Kanda worked, Allen killed the AKUMA that had showed up to take the innocence.

When Kanda had come back with blood on his hands and a hidden pity in his eyes, the red stained innocence in his left hand, Allen had treacherously thought he was beautiful.

Then they had departed silently, and had not even slept another night before getting on the slow boat back to head quarters.

As soon as they had gotten on the boat, they had went their separate ways- Allen to the deck, where he stood now, and Kanda to some other destination with the innocence in hand.

Allen stares out at the water, and it's difficult to even think about the mission because all he can think about is Kanda. Kanda Kanda Kanda, his mind screams, relentlessly, I want Kanda, Kanda is beautiful, and I want him, and it's stupid. But I want him.

The last two weeks have been torture for Allen, really, because even if he wants Kanda, Kanda clearly does not want him back. He avoids him like a plague, and whenever they're in a room together the Japanese man refuses to talk to him. The only time Kanda will even speak to him is when it's part of the mission, and longest sentence uttered between them so far was "I'll do it, just go!".

He kind of misses being called a bean sprout.

His world abruptly lurches, out of nowhere, and for a second all he can see is the sky- bright blue and wary, before his hand streaks out and catches the railing.

Looking around frantically, he clutches whatever seems solid as he moves- around him, people are screaming out orders and the few passengers are clinging to each other desperately. The captain is the loudest of them all, screeching like a crow as she orders them all to man their positions. It is only when Allen's eye goes berserk that he realizes what is happening, and at once he activates his innocence and rounds the corner.

When he does, Kanda is there- his arm shoots out to grab Allen's, and, quite plainly, everything else fades out and it is Kanda's warmth on his arm that keeps him grounded, and when Kanda's eyes meet his there is a determination and foreboding there- as if, for once, the taller man doesn't want to fight but has too.

"There are three. Two are underwater, and one is northwest of here, about fifty miles and closing in." He says automatically, eyes still locked on Kanda's- it's the longest he has ever really looked at Kanda in the past few weeks, which is saying something because he looks at Kanda a lot.

"I'll take the one coming closer. Take the ones underwater." Kanda barks out, and then they're suddenly moving, quickly- Kanda lets go of his arm and it's the heat left that propels Allen to go to the head of the ship and look wildly for the AKUMA, which are ten feet deep.

It is a stupid decision, but what Allen does is jump over the side of the ship after activating his innocence, looping his Clown Belt to the railing as he dives deep. Both of them, the AKUMA, are together, and they're fish-like; they remind Allen of the Pisces from the Chinese zodiac.

Taking an inward breath, he starts swimming, intent on saving their souls.

It's a long and tedious fight- Allen has to come up for air many times and the fish-like AKUMA are fast in water, as is to be expected. He finally kills them when one of them is stupid enough to come too close and he slashes at it, which slows down the other one so much that he can simply swim over and kill it.

When he comes up, he is gasping for breath, tired, and his muscles feel like they were just repaired by Komui. After getting on board to the cheers of the passengers and crew alike, he looks up to the sight of an explosion and Kanda flying away from it, body oddly limp as he sails through the air and lands in the water.

Allen does not think.

He flings himself after the boy and swims furiously, ignoring the pain, the screaming of his body. As his heart pounds, his eyes stay open, even against the mad stinging- it takes a few minutes before he is able to find Kanda, who has slipped under the surface with what looks like two broken arms and is sinking fast.

Allen does not think.

Taking a large amount of breath he dives and paddles, hard, against the tide towards Kanda, whose eyes are somehow still open, a little hazy from what must be pain and lack of oxygen, and watching as Allen makes his way to him. It is when Allen is close enough that they slip closed and, panicked, Allen grabs him.

Allen does not think.

He closes his mouth over the other exorcist's. Kanda's eyes shoot open at that, and he almost yells- but Allen stares at him, breathing life and love and whatever he has to offer to Kanda. Allen's eyes say I will not let you die.

When they separate, Kanda pinches his mouth close and Allen smiles, strained, before he kicks the water and they slowly climb up to the surface, where a boat and the hidden innocence awaits.

Once on board, Kanda swears at the crew to bandage him up and, while his back is turned, Allen blacks out.

---------

Allen dreams in phases- he dreams of a boat ride, Mana paddling and laughing brightly when Allen almost falls into the lake. He dreams of Lavi and Lenalee, fighting on a mission where one of them has to flirt with the bartender to get some information. He dreams of Cross, laying on silk and actually teaching him something. He dreams of Johnny and Komui and Reever, studying the Ark and being extremely fascinated by it.

Finally, he dreams of Kanda sitting on his bed, staring at him intently.

Allen smiles and closes his eyes, slipping into another dream about the past.

---------

When he finally wakes up, it is to a gently moving but silent room. His wounds have been wrapped and, when he finally gets the urge to move it is only slightly painful. His muscles creak in protest but are otherwise silent

His feet shuffle on the floor and he goes to open the door; when he does, the nurse is just about to come in. He smiles and they chat- Allen tells her he's doing fine and he was just heading towards the bathroom. The nurse gives him some pills in response and he takes them dry and heads to the washroom, intent on relieving himself.

He finds the washroom and, after finishing up and washing his hands, he decides it would be really awfully nice to go up to the deck and breath fresh air. He must have been down there for awhile.

Allen walks slowly, just enjoying the leisure, and of course his thoughts turn to Kanda.

The first thing he wonders is how the other exorcist is doing- his arms had been broken when he last saw him. The second thing he wonders is if he's healed yet- Kanda has that amazing healing ability that has something to do with his tattoo, which Allen has heard snippets about.

The third thing he wonders is if Kanda still remembers the kiss.

This makes him stop in his footsteps because he realizes that he kissed Kanda. Well, okay, it hadn't really been a kiss, it had been giving him air, but still, his lips had touched Kanda's and it was like a kiss and he's surprised he isn't dead yet. Because Kanda should have killed him by now for even doing that. Even thinking about it. And, to tell you the truth, Allen hadn't really thought it through- he was just intent on saving Kanda.

Before he can think of anything else, his mind tries to recall how Kanda's lips felt- but all he can remember is water, panic, and a need to save.

His feet, before he realizes it, have taken him up to the deck and the sky is dark, except for the slivers of pink in the east- Allen blinks when he realizes it is only early morning of the next day, which really surprises him. They are still three days travel from headquarters.

His feet barely make any sound as he walks across the deck, and he sways gently with the ship- he's still not really used to the sea and it's rocking. But he could live like this, he thinks- if it wasn't for the Order and the Innocence and the AKUMA, if all that didn't exist. He could live on a ship.

He makes it to the bow and watches the sun rise silently, his head going through various thoughts- he's so deep in his mind that he doesn't realize when someone comes up behind him and touches his shoulder meekly.

Jumping, he turns around, and deep inside he hopes it's Kanda's- but he knows it isn't because Kanda would never touch him so softly. Kanda would never touch him unless it was absolutely necessary.

The nurse, one of two that stay with the crew, stands there smiling, and when she speaks her tone is soft, as if not to disturb the sea and the horizon. "Mr. Walker, I do believe you should be in bed."

"Can't sleep." He cracks a smile and turns to fully face her, voice slipping into overly polite. "But I'll go now, if you think it's best."

"Oh, I don't mind. But if you start feeling the least bit faint, I suggest you go rest." She pauses, as if contemplating her next words. Allen waits for her, because he's a gentleman. A fake gentleman, sure, but she doesn't know that. Sometimes Allen feels bad about being Cross' pupil. No, well, not sometimes. All the time.

"Also, I think you should thank the other exorcist. The pretty one." She says. Her face then flushes as she realizes what she had just said, and she hurries to cover it up; Allen doesn't know if its embarrassing because she insinuated that he wasn't pretty or because she called a boy that's probably fifteen years her junior pretty. Either way, if it wouldn't have freaked her out, he would have outright agreed with her- Kanda was the prettier one of them.

"He was such a help." She amends. "Always ran and got water for us when we asked, and helped us dress you after we tended to your wounds. Was quite a nuisance in the beginning because he just wouldn't leave the room. A help nonetheless."

The nurse smiles softly at him and he tries not to freak out when he realizes that Kanda was touching him and dressing him, for God's sake. The smile he has on is plastered on his face, so he just nods, unsure of what to say.

The silence is kind of awkward because of it, and the nurse shifts a little before saying "Well, Mr. Walker, if you're feeling faint, get back to bed."

"Yes ma'am." He replies, automatically, trying hard to dispel the images of what Kanda dressing him would look like. He's had fantasies of Kanda undressing him, certainly, but dressing someone implies a certain amount of actually caring about the person you're taking care of. And that would imply Kanda- of all people-

"Enjoy the sunrise, Mr. Walker. It's beautiful here, out at sea." She says in departure, and he gives one last smile (automatically, again) as she leaves and then turns around, clutching the railing and facing the horizon with wide eyes and a furiously beating heart.

The implications of Kanda taking care of him are odd in and out of itself because Kanda doesn't take care of anyone. Well, okay, he does, but not in the physical sense. Like, he takes care of Lenalee emotionally by listening to her whenever she's sad (and he only knows that because he accidentally almost walked in on them talking one time when Leverrier was being a particular asshole to everyone at the Order), and whenever Lavi needs someone to just sit around and be quiet he's always there, silent and calm. And whenever Komui needs help with something he helps him, if not grudgingly.

The thing is, he can't think of a time that Kanda just helped him. They've always fought and sure, that might have relieved a little stress for him but, all in all, Kanda was usually more the problem than anything else.

But Kanda taking care of him implied some level of… fondness… or affection, or something of the like for Allen, right? Because, really, Kanda never actually took care of anyone. He was in the mentality that everyone took care of themselves and that was that, case closed.

But.

Kanda took care of him. Actually man handled him (which was probably as gentle as the Japanese exorcist could get), and harassed the nurses, and Kanda had even dressed him. In clothes.

Forcibly kicking the last statement and the imagery that came with it out of his head, Allen did something he hadn't done in awhile, and with something like confidence and hope blooming in his chest:

Allen smiled.

--------------

"Good morning, Kanda."

Well, it wasn't really morning- early afternoon was more the term, actually, but Allen felt like today was a fresh day. A fresh start. A day where he could start everything over and do it perfectly.

Kanda showing that he cared for him, Allen thinks, smiling down at the glowering face of his partner, was probably the worst thing he could have done. Because now Allen was serious. And when Allen was serious, full grown men started crying.

"Che." Kanda directs at him, and he can't help but notice that his arms are wrapped in bandages but they aren't pinned to his chest or anything. Allen tries not to think about how it would look if someone had to feed Kanda- if he had to feed Kanda- but his thoughts bloom on his face and he smiles wider, if not a little creepily, and this makes the other exorcist scowl.

So Allen, instead, just sits down across from Kanda and starts eating. They're both eating fish because it's the only thing the cook really knows how to make.

And it's quiet, but Allen doesn't really mind; he's just happy to be there. And they way he's actually eating his food, not shoveling it in, kinda shows how happy he is to just be sitting across from Kanda. Any other time the boy would have been emitting a murderous aura but right now it's just- calm. It's nice and calm. Allen could get used to this.

It's about the fifth time of Allen pausing between bites to give the other teen a smile that it all gets shot to hell and Kanda slams his fork down (because the ship doesn't have chopsticks) and glares hellfire at him.

"What?" He hisses out slowly, eyes in slits. Allen actually fully puts down his fork and looks back at the other boy, the corners of his mouth quirked.

"It's just-" And then he pauses, and in that moment he panics because he doesn't even know what he- why- what was he supposed to say to 'why are you smiling?'. He didn't actually have a plan to talk to Kanda- he just thought pleasant conversation wouldn't happen.

He guesses this is what he gets for acting weird. It's entirely his own fault.

"-um." He finishes his sentence lamely, and he can see that Kanda can see that he has no answer by the way the boy's eyes darken and his lips draw up into a lazy, triumphant smirk. Allen tries not to get distracted about how- how- sexy the boy looks and almost fails, his mouth opening slightly and his tongue peeking out from his lips while he bites it. He can think of a thousand different things that expression meant and none of them were innocent at the moment. None of them, which doesn't really do wonders for his teenage body. While, it does, but nothing he wants Kanda seeing.

"Don't stare at me if you have no reason to give." The exorcist says gruffly, and pops some fish into his mouth. Allen snaps his mouth closed at the action and imagines little Allen's fanning out his brain, shooing away images better saved for when he was alone.

It works and when he speaks next, it's with a bit more confidence- he imagines a little Allen holding down the side of his brain that is usually responsible for his dirtier thoughts. His Cross like thoughts. Even though Cross would never think of Kanda like that. Or maybe he would.

He quickly helps his little Allen squish any thoughts about Cross thinking about Kanda, which admittedly makes him feel like taking the man's damn hammer and shoving it- somewhere he shouldn't be saying. Out loud.

"It's just, I didn't think you'd be so kind."

Allen then realizes that was probably the wrong thing to say when he sees Kanda's shoulders stiffen, his mouth almost open to accept the bit of fish halfway to his mouth. He wonders why in the hell he's so obsessed with Kanda's mouth today.

"It's just!" He starts again, even leaning forward earnestly to try and kind of say he didn't mean to offend the other boy without actually saying it. "Um. You. The Nurse-"

He pauses after his stumbling and licks his lips, the little imagined Allen's working hard to sort through his thoughts again.

"The Nurse told me that you helped them when I was passed out." He finally manages to say, truthfully, eyes pinned to Kanda's face, at the boy whose looking away and scowling. Allen laughs, although a bit nervously, when he remembers that the nurse called Kanda pretty; this just makes the other man scowl. Hard, and angrily. And he kind of feels bad so he smothers his smile and says "She told me you harassed them, but you were a great help. So."

And now that he doesn't know what to say, his mind gripes belligerently, and his hands grip his fork. Then his mouth jumps as soon as he lets it, of course, and spills something he really shouldn't have ever let slip out when talking to Kanda.

"Thank you."

Kanda stands up abruptly, face set in his patented permanent scowl, body ramrod straight. The dishes clatter and a few interested sailors look over; the ones who are curious about the religious men and the ones who are just hoping some bruises are exchanged.

"Don't be stupid." Kanda speaks through clenched teeth, dark eyes smoldering. Allen stares back, alarmed. He hadn't meant to offend the other boy, really- again- and he had thought that their relationship had changed a smidgen. Just enough so that he could say thank you without the other boy storming out. Apparently not.

He wonders what Kanda sees in his eyes because his mouth loosens a little and unclenches enough so that he says something which makes Allen's stomach jump and his heart feel light.

"Just- don't be so stupid again."

Then he turns and walks off, leaving Allen with an extra plate of food and a bit more resolve in his heart.