Sorry for the wait, I'm moving and I don't have internet at the moment, so ENJOY!!! (There are a few spoilers in it involving Sasuke and Itachi.)
Deidara sighed as he pulled Sasori's laundry out of the dryer. OH, GROSS!!!! SASORI'S UNDERWEAR!!! DISGUSTING!!!! He picked them up between his thumb and first finger and threw it across the room into the basket. He then proceeded to do the "gross" dance which consisted of him hopping from foot to foot, shaking his hands profusely, and saying "ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, EW!!!!!!" He did this for a few minutes and finally regained his composure. He sighed again and took the laundry basket up to Sasori's room.
"Here you go, un," he said, dropping the basket.
"Thank you, oh and I think you should polish my puppets." Sasori said, throwing a soda can in the trash.
"Ok, which ones?" Deidara sighed.
"All of them."
"WHAT?!?! THAT WOULD TAKE LIKE THREE DAYS NON-STOP!!!!"
"I know, that's why you're doing it and not me."
"God, I hate you, un."
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing, jackass."
"What did you say?"
"Nothing, un," Deidara said, walking out.
Four days later
Deidara and Sasori were sitting in the Akatsuki's living room, watching TV. "Man Television sucks today." Sasori said flipping through the channels and finally turning it off. "Tell me a story to entertain me."
"No"
"Yes you will… or something might slip out."
"GROSS!!! I DON'T WANNA SEE THAT THING!!!"
"I didn't mean that!!! Gawd, you're perverted!!!"
"Ok, one day-"
"It has to start with once upon a time."
"Ok, once upon a time, un, Sasori knew Deidara's secret and Deidara blew up Sasori."
"And doesn't involve explosions."
"Fine, once upon a time, a goose drank wine, a m-"
"That makes sense!!! And has puppets in it."
"OK!!! Once upon a time, there was a little blonde-haired puppet, un, and a little red-haired puppet. The little blonde-haired puppet had a secret and the little red-haired puppet knew it and was blackmailing the HELL out of the little blonde-haired puppet, un. And so the little blonde-haired puppet blew the little red-haired puppet to smithereens!!! Mwahahaha-!!!"
"No explosives."
"Oh, yeah, un… Fine, the little blonde-haired puppet fed the little red-haired puppet to a little back and white plant thing puppet."
"The red-haired puppet can't die."
"FINE!!!!!!!! THE LITTLE BLONDE-HAIRED PUPPET GOT REALLY PISSED AND THREW THE LITTLE RED-HAIRED PUPPET INTO THE LAKE IN A CONCRETE BOX!!!!! BUT THE LITTLE RED-HAIRED PUPPET WOULDN'T DIE!!!!"
"And they all lived-"
"HAPPILY FUCKING AFTER!!!! GOD DAMMIT!!!"
"…"
"…"
Sasori stared at Deidara blankly when Tobi walked. Tobi saw Deidara pissed off and asked, "Deidara-sempai, are you PMSing?"
"NO!!!!" and then Deidara proceeded to pummel the shit out of Tobi.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!MOOOOOOOOOMMMMMYYYYYY!!! DEIDARA IS BEING MEAN AND HURTING ME!!!!!!" Tobi screamed at Konan who had just walked in.
Konan stood there for a minute, realized Tobi had called her mom and screamed at him, "I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER!!!!! AND DEIDARA, STOP BEATING UP TOBI!!!! NOW!!!!" Deidara had to stop and Tobi ran over to Konan and gave her a hug, "Thanks mommy!!!"
"I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER AND WILL NEVER BE A MOTHER!!!!"
Pein happened to be walking by at that moment, "That's what you say."
"Wait, what's that supposed to mean?" Konan asked turning to Pein.
"Oh, nothing."
"It means, un, he wants kids?!?!" Deidara said, kinda surprised himself.
"HOMIE SAY WHAT?!?!" everyone yelled, turning to Pein.
"WHAT?!?!"
"IF YOU WANT KIDS SO MUCH, GET YOURSELF PREGNANT!!!!"
"YOU CAN DO THAT?!?!"
"NO YOU IDIOT!!! SHE'S SAYING SHE DOESN'T WANT KIDS!!!" Deidara screamed at Pein.
"HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT GIRLS?!?!"
"BECAUSE… because… BECAUSE I DO, UN!!!!"
"Mommy, I'm scared. Everyone's yelling at each other." Tobi said, pulling on Konan's coat.
"I'M. NOT. YOUR. MOTHER!!!!!!" Konan screamed down at Tobi. This made Tobi start crying. "No, don't cry," she said, kneeling down and patting Tobi on the head.
"No wonder he thinks you're his mom."
"Love you mom," Tobi said, hugging Konan and running out.
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Were you high when you hiring people for this?" Konan asked Pein.
"No… Why?"
"Deidara is an explosive-obsessed 'artist' that says 'un' way too much…"
"HEY, U-!!!!" Deidara yelled, stopping himself right before saying 'un'.
"Sasori is a puppet thing…"
"HEY!!!" Sasori screamed as Hidan walked in.
"Hidan is a religious idiot that whines too much…"
"JASHIN DAMN YOU!!!" Hidan said, realizing she was talking about him just as Kakuza walked in.
"Kakuza is a money obsessed freak that sews way too good for a dude…"
"BITCH!!!" Kakuza said when Zetsu came in.
"Zetsu is a plant thing that eats people and argues with himself…"
(italicized is white side, bold is black side) "Wha?"
"She insulted us."
"WHAT?!?! I'M GONNA EAT HER!!!!"
"Don't, we'll get in trouble."
"I DON'T CARE!!!"
"Yes you do."
"NO I DON'T!!!!"
"YES!!! You do!!!" Then Zetsu continued arguing with himself and left the room.
"Kisame is a freaky fish thing…"
And guess who had just walked in… DING DING DING!!! YOU GUESSED RIGHT, KISAME!!!! "Fish?"
"Itachi is a mass
murderer that only kept his brother alive so he could rip his eyes
out when he himself goes blind…" (spoiler)
"Hn." Itachi said as he walked in.
"And Tobi… Tobi is just Tobi… There's too many things wrong with Tobi to say…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"True…" they all said together.
"I'm bored…" Sasori said looking towards Deidara. "Sing."
"What? No."
"Alright then, guys, guess what."
"Hm?"
"No wait!!!" Deidara whispered trying to stop Sasori
Sasori saw this and instead of saying the secret, he said, "Deidara is gonna sing for us."
Deidara looked around, "Any requests?"
"Um… I know!!! Sing That's What You Get!!! You know, by Paramore!!! I love that song!!!" Kisame said, turning chibi.
Everyone turned and looked at him with a 'wtf' expression, "A girl sings that song, and I'm a guy!!!" Deidara said, looking pissed.
"Well, I think it's a good idea." Sasori said, smirking at Deidara, who sent a death glare back to him, basically saying I. Am. Going. To. KILL YOU!!! DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE EVIL BEAST!!!
"Fine then," Deidara said out loud, looking away.
"You're actually gonna sing that? What did you lose a bet or something?" Konan asked, obviously confused.
"Yeah… that's it…"
"Well sing all ready!!!" Kisame said happily.
Mumble, mumble.
No sir
Well I don't wanna be the blame
Not any more
It's your turn
To take the heat
We're settling the final score
And why do we like to hurt so much
I can't decide
You have made it harder
Just to go on
And why all the possibility
Well I was wrong
That's what you get
When you let you let your heart win
Whooooooooooaaaaaa
That what you get
When you let your heart win
Whoooooooooooooaaaaaaaaa
I drown out all my sense with
The sound of it's beating
And that's what you get
When you let your heart win
Whoooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I wonder
How I'm supposed to feel
When your not here
Cause I burned every bridge
I ever built
When you were here
I still try
Holding on to silly things
I never learn
Oh why
All the possibilities
I'm sure you heard
That's what you get
When you let you let your heart win
Whooooooooooaaaaaa
That what you get
When you let your heart win
Whoooooooooooooaaaaaaaaa
I drown out all my sense with
The sound of it's beating
And that's what you get
When you let your heart win
Whoooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaa
They make you wait to me
To me
And I'll always be just so inviting
If I ever start to think straight
This heart will start a riot in me
Let's start
Start
HEY
Why do we like to hurt so much?
Oh why do we like to hurt so much?
That's what you get
When you let you let your heart win
Whooooooooooaaaaaa
That what you get
When you let your heart win
Whoooooooooooooaaaaaaaaa
I drown out all my sense with
The sound of it's beating
And that's what you get
When you let your heart win
Whoooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Now
I can't trust myself with
Anything but this and
That's what you get
When you let you let your heart win
Whooooooooooaaaaaa
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"WHAT?!?!"
"You sing really good," Konan said, while everyone nodded their heads. "REALLY good."
"Especially since it was a girl song," Pein said staring at Deidara.
"It was Jashin!!! He blessed you with an awesome voice!!!" Hidan, obviously, said. Everyone turned to him and threw something at him.
