Episode 1: Jess moves in

"Thanks for being able to ALL meet with me. At once. Like a firing squad." Jess sat nervously on the small ottoman and stared across at the three friends sitting all squished together on the same section of the L shaped brown leather couch. She raised both hands sheepishly and said in a cartoon voice, which was supposed to mimic someone from the old west actually about to face a firing squad, "I swear sonny, I'm innocent, I was framed." They looked at her confused and in silence for a beat. The one in the dress suit spoke first.

"So, I would like to begin with a set of scientifically derived questions on compatibility…" Schmidt started to pull what looked like a small novel out of his briefcase which had been on the floor by his feet, when he was cut off by the other two interviewers and their rolling eyes.

"Schmidt, not the E Harmony questions AGAIN!" Nic said elbowing him in the ribs and smacking the papers out of his hand. "I am sorry about him." She said that directly to Jess and made an apologetic shrug, a gesture which seemed second nature. "We're trying to get him enrolled in special classes". She gave Jess a sour look that made Jess swear she thought it might have contained the slightest hint of a smile.

"Let's start over. My name is Winston. This schmuck is Nicole. And the one who was about to put you through a SAT like testing experience, was Schmidt." Winston was the first to actually reach out his hand and shake hello. He had a nice and genuine smile.

"They were scientifically derived…" Schmidt voiced defensively and then seemed to sulk back in his spot on the couch. He added more quietly to himself, "You can't mess with science."

"Actually I go by Nic. Just Nic. Nicole was my aunt and it has just always sounded weird. So, you know Julia?"

"Yeah. Julia dated my good friend Sadie. Julia. Jules. The Julester." Jess looked like she wanted someone to stop her before she just kept going, saying names in a deep voice like Ron Synder in an SNL skit.

"If you're friends with Sadie… Are you… I mean… Do you ever go out to… You know… the same bars, as she…" Nic was so awkward it was adorable. She had tried to save Jess from an awkward rant, and now Jess guessed it was her turn to return the favor.

"A lesbian? No, I'm not. I just have friends that are."

Schmidt breathed a dramatic sigh of relief. "Phew! Good. No chance for another Caroline here." Nic one again elbowed Schmidt in the ribs, but this timed it seemed harder and more personal. "Just saying Nic, you and your unfathomable lesbian sex musk ruined things with our last female roommate."

"Lesbian sex musk?! Really Schmidt? Jar!" Winston pointed in the direction of a glass mason jar with a post-it note reading "Douche Bag Jar" and cash stuffed inside.

Nic chimed in over Winston, "And Caroline was your idea in the first place Schmidt. 'Hey guys I have a co-worker who needs a place to crash for a bit. It's okay if she takes Coach's old room, right?'" Nic's attempt at impersonating Schmidt sounded like a grumpy whiny man-child. Plus she made a weird frowning turtle face while doing it. It was just weird. "It's not my fault we shared a magic, spiritual like connection that tore my heart into a million pieces."

"Schmidt. Why would you even bring it up? She just stopped listening to that song." Winston was trying to say it quietly so that Nic, sitting right between him and Schmidt, couldn't hear.

"Winston! I am sitting right here. You can't talk about someone like that when they are sitting right here." Nic looked directly at Jess, "They are totally exaggerating. I am totally recovered, by the way, and there is absolutely nothing weird about it." Nic gave the same apologetic shrug from earlier. It was the first time anyone even looked at her during their roommate banter.

Jess just smiled as they continued arguing about who's fault it was that they needed a new roommate in the first place. She got the impression that these were good friends with quirks and weirdness that could rival her own. These were obviously three good-hearted, all-be-it possibly emotionally stunted, people she felt immediately comfortable with. She looked around the loft and saw the sunlight shinning through the large industrial windows along the two walls of the living/dinning room and she breathed deep. She started singing to herself, that's how comfortable she felt.

"The sun will come out, tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow…"

Winston was the first to hear it and he just stopped himself mid sentence to listen in wide-eyed wonder.

"I'm sorry, but are you singing?" Nic was the first to comment.

"Yeah. I do that when I am happy. Or when I'm sad. Or when I'm anxious. Really, I just do it a lot."

"So what are you right now? Happy, sad, or anxious?" Winston seemed genuinely interested, but also a bit confused.

"Happy." She smiled, "Happy" she repeated in a sing-song voice.

"Yeah no way that's going to get annoying." Schmidt said trying to be overly sarcastic. "You know its stuff like this that my scientific questionnaire would have alerted us to…"

"Schmidt you're annoying. When could you move in? We already know you have a stable job and you were referred by a friend of a friend. So you're most likely not a total weirdo. All though I guess it was an ex of an ex, so maybe…" Nic offered and almost winked.

"Well I'm staying with my friend on her couch right now, so I am basically already packed. The place has been getting really crowded lately. Models surprisingly take up a lot of space for how skinny they all are. But…"

Schmidt cut off Jess mid sentence, "Models? Did you say models? Would these be Lesbian models? Because they are my favorite kind of model."

"Jar!" This time everyone pointed at the glass jar in unison. Jess smiled again, knowing she was going to be the new girl in their odd family.