A/N: Hey guys. I hope you all are finding this story interesting so far. I would love some feedback because this story is different than the others I've written. Thanks. I love you guys and I hope you keep reading.
Sheldon and Amy became very wrapped up in Leonard and Penny's wedding. Sheldon was Leonard's best man. Penny couldn't choose between Amy and Bernadette for her maid of honor, so they were sharing the job. Amy was glad for the distraction because it helped her keep her mind off of what was going on at home.
There were days that Amy almost forgot how distant Sheldon was. She would wake up and go to work and then spend the night across the hall from her home helping Penny address invitations only to go home very tired. Sleeping in Leonard's old room would remind her of what she had lost, but she was tired enough that after a few tears she would be asleep. Then she could wake up and do it all over again the next day.
The new pattern was comforting for Amy, so she was starting to dread the wedding itself. Once all of the planning and preparation was over, she didn't know how she would distract herself from her situation with Sheldon. Every once in a while, Amy would get up the courage to ask Sheldon if he knew why the change had occurred or if there was anything she could do, but Sheldon was always at a loss.
Leonard and Penny knew what was going on even though they were pretty wrapped up in their wedding preparations. It wasn't the kind of thing that either Amy or Sheldon felt comfortable talking about, so it took a while before their friends found out that they were sleeping in separate rooms. Amy felt rejected by Sheldon and Sheldon felt like a failure.
"Leonard, I don't feel the same kind of anxiety as when I touch others. If I were to give you a hug I might be worried about germs or feel a general discomfort. When I touch Amy, it's like I'm completely terrified, but I don't know why. I love her, but she scares me," Sheldon admitted one night while they were playing video games in his apartment.
The months moved quickly with no progress. The wedding between Leonard and Penny was beautiful. Amy was much more relaxed that she had been with Howard and Bernadette's wedding. She even caught the bouquet, but it didn't give her any hope about a future marriage of her own any time soon, although Sheldon did hold her hand for a few minutes before his speech. Maybe he was starting to gain comfort from contact rather than lose it. Sheldon also danced with Amy for one song. The whole night almost had Amy optimistic about their future, but Sheldon stayed far away from her once they were home again.
That night Amy didn't sleep. She just cried alone in her room. The small amount of affection combined with the fact that the wedding was over broke her heart. She came up with a new plan: she was going to throw herself into her work. Amy would never be able to bring herself to leave Sheldon despite his flaws, so she would live her life like before she met him. Work until exhausted and then repeat. Amy was starting to feel like she would never get her Sheldon back, but she didn't want anyone else either.
Amy spent plenty of time with Sheldon, but it was easy to stay late at work or spend time with Penny and Bernadette whenever they asked. She didn't want to leave him or cheat on him. Before Sheldon, there hadn't really been anyone. There just wasn't as much appeal sitting home with Sheldon every night. Work or the girls were just better sometimes. Or at least less painful. Amy had spent years with Sheldon before he would even kiss her, but it was so much harder knowing what it was like to have him caress her skin or kiss her lips.
Sheldon felt like he was spending more and more time alone. Raj had a new girlfriend and Leonard and Howard were married. That meant that they weren't around for video game nights or Klingon Boggle as much anymore. His friends were leaving him and he was pushing Amy away. He knew that their troubles were his fault, and he was going end up alone for it. Maybe he was crazy after all.
Sitting alone in the apartment for the fourth night in a row, Sheldon decided it was time to make some changes. He was going to fix this thing with Amy. If he didn't, he was going to lose her. He decided he didn't care how scared he was, he was going to start making this up to her. Sheldon was a loss of where to start, so he decided to go see the only person he thought might understand: his MeeMaw.
He called Amy at work. He rarely bothered her there because he knew that she used it to escape him. "Amy, would you like to go to Texas with me for the weekend? I'm planning a trip to visit my family."
"I don't know, Sheldon. I'm not sure I'm up to spending a whole weekend with you," Amy said. Her voice cracked while she said it. There was a time when that would have been her biggest dream come true. These days it was just another reminder of what they had lost.
"I'll pay for everything. I know I have no right to ask for it, but it would mean a lot if you would come with me."
Amy sighed. "Okay. I'll come with, but I can't leave until after work on Friday and I need to be back by Monday. If you want to stay longer, you'll need to make separate arrangements for me."
"No. That works perfectly for me. I'll make the arrangements right now, and I guess I'll see you when you get home."
"I'll probably be late, Sheldon," Amy said before she hung up.
Sheldon called his mother to inform his family of the visit before making the flight reservations. She was excited to see Sheldon and Amy again. She didn't know about the problems between them, and he didn't want to explain over the phone. Mostly because his mother didn't know how serious things were getting before everything went wrong. She didn't even know that they were living together.
Amy was right about being home late. Sheldon was in bed when he heard her come though the door. He got out of bed and went to the kitchen where Amy was standing, staring into their refrigerator. "I booked us a flight leaving Saturday morning and coming home Sunday night," Sheldon told Amy before realizing how tired she looked. "Did you have dinner?" he asked.
Amy shook her head. Sheldon sighed and put his hand on her arm to lead her to the couch. It wasn't until he saw the way that she looked at him that he noticed what he was doing. Sometimes, some other need made itself known and Sheldon was better. At least for a little while. In that moment, he needed to take care of Amy. He hugged her and sat her down before getting her some soup.
Amy knew better than to take the hug at anything more than a hug. The soup came from a more real place than the hug did. The soup represented Sheldon's real caring for Amy. He might never be her lover, but he did love her. Those were the moments when Amy knew, that even if she couldn't be Sheldon's girlfriend, she wanted to be his friend. She was still just trying to figure out how to make that work without breaking her own heart. So far nothing was working in that regard.
When Friday came around, Amy still wondered why she let Sheldon talk her into going to Texas. The weekend might have been nice at home alone, but she wouldn't get to find out. Instead, she had a bag packed for the weekend and ready for their early morning flight the next day.
Amy went home relatively early that night since she had to get up early the next morning. Sheldon was still up and watching TV when she came in. Amy sat next to him, but he jumped up as soon as she did. "I didn't even touch you," Amy said, exasperated.
"I know. I was getting you some tea. You look like you might need it. Would you like some dinner too? Penny brought me Chinese and there is plenty left."
Amy got up to help herself to some food instead of letting Sheldon bring it to her. His fingers brushed hers as he handed her the tea. She flinched back and spilled a little on herself. It burned but she ignored it. She wondered when she had become as unaccustomed to touch as he had. Maybe she was back where she was when she first met Sheldon too. Leonard's leaving reverted them both to the previous versions of themselves. When Amy told Sheldon that all forms of physical contact were off the table, she meant it. She hadn't wanted to kiss or touch much of anyone before him.
"I think I'm going to move out when we get back from Texas," Amy said suddenly. She didn't even realize that she had decided it until she said it out loud.
"Are you breaking up with me?" Sheldon asked frantically. "I love you."
"I know you do. I love you too, but it's killing me to live this way. I don't want to break up with you, but I think maybe some space will help."
"You can't leave me," Sheldon said, but he was resigned to his fate. He knew this was coming sooner or later.
"I'm not leaving. I just need some... distance. I love you, Sheldon," Amy told him.
He just nodded sadly before saying, "I love you too." Then he went back to his room to go to bed. It was the first night in a long time that he truly missed having her in his arms as he slept. He felt like she was already gone.
