a/n: one day i will stop procrastinating but that day has not come in like the past 3 and half months so i mean
I awoke from what should have been a dreamless sleep with foggy senses and a vague sense of dread building in my stomach. I hadn't had a dream in fourteen years. At least, not one I could remember.
I sat up and rubbed my eyes with a sigh. A tingling feeling lanced down my spine as the memory of my dream pushed itself to the forefront of my mind. 'Fucking snakes…' I thought. At that moment, the alarm clock sitting next to my glasses blared like a siren and I jumped slightly. I huffed. 'Fucking work.'
The annoyance was silenced with a pathetic clanging whine by my fist slamming into the button on top. "Ugh…" A headache was forming already. I need a cigarette. I stretched, my back arching until the disks of my spine clicked pleasantly into place and I sighed. I toyed with the idea of just not going to the academy today as I made my way to the bathroom. As steam floated through the air, I thought of all the time I could spend nowhere near any little brats.
The hot spray of the shower was so very relaxing….
I opened my eyes slowly, my vision blurry. The scent of earth and moisture and fire wafted through the air. It was hard to breathe, my whole body ached, and everything was icy cold. I tried to move my arms. The only response was a sharp pain shooting through my wrists and a loud clanging noise. I glanced up, narrowing my eyes. My glasses were gone, but I could just barely make out the shape of chains and shackles. "..What the..?"
There was a hissing sound and I thought I caught sight of something moving in my periphery. Gooseflesh raised on my skin and I tensed. I felt something graze against my thigh and was suddenly hyper aware that my glasses weren't the only thing missing. I gritted my teeth and kicked out at whatever was touching me. It wasn't dissuaded and instead, wrapped itself around my leg like a tentacle. And then there was another around my other leg. I looked down, a snarl pulling at my lips as I gathered my soul wavelength in the pit of my stomach, preparing to lash out with a Soul Menace.
A voice like hissing rang out then, chidingly, "Now, now, Stein." What felt like fingers dragged slowly down my spine and slowly, to my horror, the energy I built up was drained away. "Play nice."
My breath hitched as whatever was wrapped around my legs tightened and one of them slowly slid upwards. Over my stomach, between my breasts, and eventually, it looped once then twice, loosely around my neck. The end of it loomed in front of my face and when it opened a set of golden yellow eyes, I realized it was a snake. It hissed at me and if the shimmering black liquid dripping from its needle like fangs were any indication, it was poisonous.
A whimper forced its way past my lips as the coils around my throat tightened. Spots danced in my vision as the snake drew back, its mouth opened wide. It lunged for my face and I blacked out.
"Gah!" I jumped and nearly slipped as I abruptly shot back into consciousness, my heart beating a mile a minute. I slammed my palm into the shower wall to steady myself and I winced at the stinging pins and needles sensation. "Fuck…" I panted, running a hand through my damp hair and pushing it out of my face.
The sound of someone uneasily clearing their throat echoed throughout my bathroom. My eyebrow twitched. I swept the shower curtain partially open and roared out, "Who the fuck-?!" Instead of my reflection and that of my plain white bathroom, there was the sunny image of the Deathroom along with a pink faced Spirit and Lord Death who appeared to be avoiding eye contact.
The god raised a cartoonish fist to his face and cleared his throat again, before speaking, "H-Hey there, Stein! Just checking in to see how you were doing this morning. Haha…" Spirit flinched and became an interesting shade of red that rivaled his hair.
I blinked and recollected myself. "Yes, I'm fine, sir."
"…Well, that's… good to hear."
We sat in an awkward silence for a moment before Lord Death stared talking again.
"We'll just let you get back to, ahem, what you were doing. Gotta go bye~!" And, with that, he cut the connection to the mirror.
'Well, that was odd…'
I turned off the shower and reached for a towel, but jerked when I felt something liquid and sticky slide down my thigh. I glanced down and blood rushed to my face. "For fucks sake…"
Professor Franken Stein strolled lazily up the flight of stairs leading up to the Death Weapon – Meister Academy, a cigarette drooping slightly between her lips and her hands in her pockets. She was twenty minutes late but she couldn't bring herself to care. The little brats could wait. When she reached the peak, she was met with the sight of the scythe boy form the other night leaning back against the brickwork, apparently napping. She raised an eyebrow at this. She briefly considered waking him and telling him to get to his class, as any good teacher would do without hesitation, but was interrupted by a loud whooping sound. She glanced up to see a familiar blue haired assassin boy leaping down from a spire. 'Oh, goddammit.'
"You!" He shouted. "What're you doing here, you ugly old hag?!"
The older meister scoffed but ultimately decided to let that little comment slide. "As of today, I'm a teacher here, boy."
"Horseshit!"
She ignored him entirely. "Shouldn't you and that other one be in class?" She deadpanned.
"Sorry, teach," he drawled. "But, we're waiting on someone. A, uh, new friend." Black*Star couldn't contain his snickers and instead released full blown cackles.
The mad doctor rolled her eyes. "Good luck with that, kid." And, with a puff of smoke, she continued into the building.
I nodded in satisfaction as I looked over the fruits of my work. I had finally had all the shelves and cabinets organized exactly the way I wanted them. The nurse's office finally had some sense of order to it. I crossed my arms and sat down in my chair, tossing my feet up on my desk. Finally, I can get to my real work.
Or at least I would, had my door not been slammed open with a bang accompanied by the offensive, acrid smell of burning tobacco.
I turned, my eyes narrowed. It was that silver haired meister the death god introduced to me yesterday. I found my grip on my temper slipping as I took in her casual appearance and the air of arrogance she carried with her. And, it appeared she'd bought another pack of cigarettes. 'Damn you…'
I scowled up at her as she approached, staring down at me with half lidded grey eyes.
"Miss Stein – I"
She cut me off. "It's Professor Stein."
'Ohhh, do we have a quirk?' A smirk tugged at my lips. I filed that bit of information away for later.
Standing up, I hummed, "Nevertheless," I pulled the cigarette from between her lips with a flourish. She seemed shocked for a moment, her eyes widening almost imperceptibly. "I told you before that smoking is not allowed in the nurse's office." Her eyes narrowed and her left eyebrow twitched. I flicked the offending cancer stick into the sink where it fizzled out with a sizzle. "Do I need to confiscate them from you again?"
She crossed her arms, and drawled out, "Actually, that's what I came here for." She stepped closer to me and now that the cigarette was gone, her proximity wasn't nearly as offensive. The scent of smoke still clung to her, of course, but it was a subtle edge nearly drowned by the fragrance of cool rain water and lemon.
The silver haired meister held out her hand, "The pack you swiped from me yesterday, if you please."
I raised an eyebrow and made no move to retrieve them for her. "You are aware of how detrimental smoking is to your health, aren't you?"
She snorted and raised a hand to brush her fingers against the bolt imbedded in her skull. "I've done worse to myself, don't you think?" As an afterthought, she added, "And, I really don't need another cigarette lecture, nurse. I've had enough of those to last me a lifetime."
Reaching a hand out, I replied without missing a beat, "Clearly not, if you're still smoking like a house fire." She stepped back and I missed wrapping my fingers around that screw of hers by mere centimeters.
"Maybe you have a point," She tilted her head and her glasses slipped down her nose before she grinned wickedly. "Or maybe I just like smoking."
"I don't see how."
"Don't knock it til you've tried it. As the saying goes."
"Oh, I have. They taste and smell terrible in addition to being terribly poisonous."
"Hm." Apparently, she didn't have a reply to that and instead simply nodded, as if in agreement. Curious.
"…Aren't you meant to be teaching?"
"I am."
"Classes started twenty minutes ago."
"So they did."
"You should go teach, then."
"And, I will."
She was playing a game; a petty one, and I was quickly growing tired of it.
"When?" I asked, exasperation leaking into my voice.
Her lips lifted in a lazy half smile. "When you give me my cigarettes back."
I rolled my eyes with a sigh and a shake of my head. "Fine."
After rummaging around my drawers for a moment, I produced the little cardboard box she was willing to waste so much of my time for and shoved it in her hands viciously. "Here."
"Thank you," Stein drew out the words sarcastically as if I were the one in the wrong here. And, with that, she turned on her heels and strolled out of the room as casually and abruptly as she'd entered.
"Annoying fool."
I had arrived to class nearly thirty minutes late, in a significantly better mood. And, after thoroughly terrorizing my… students into submission, I discovered that the two runts outside the building were in fact a part of my class. Joy. I dragged their partners along with me to retrieve the two idiots and found them brawling with the son of Lord Death himself. I propped one cheek up on my knuckles and pulled out my pack of Death Sticks only to discover instead of the white wrapped tobacco it was filled with suckers of all things. I scowled and mentally cursed that slippery nurse to all seven levels of hell as I angrily stuffed one in my mouth. Green apple flavored.
"Damn her…"
a/n: i never knew how much of a pervert i could be until i literally nearly wrote tentacle hentai. anyway, i seem to have this odd fixation with cigarettes even though i hate the way they smell and taste. eventually i will grow out of this, i swear to god.
thank you for reading, please review to tell me what you think~!
