Author: Empress Vader
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He could tell she was reluctant to go back to Naboo,
to duty. Despite the disaster that had happened with Siri, Couresant was
a serious vacation from the madness of being a Queen. Obi-Wan had let them
be the whole trip, the situation with Siri had led him to do some serious
soul searching himself.
Anakin had actually enjoyed fulfilling his heart's desire
with Padme, Amidala. He still called her Padme in his head sometimes, it
was the name he'd first known her by and she had allowed him to call her
by either name. But he knew, even though both of them were on it, Naboo
was going to be a place where they were forced to be distant.
Amidala took Anakin's hand as they ship landed. "Kiss
me good-bye," she said.
Anakin smiled and kissed her, something that came so naturally
to him now. Just seven years ago, the request would have never came. The
only two people there to greet them were Captain Panaka and Jar-Jar Binks.
Amidala exited the transport first.
"How are things?" Amidala asked them.
"Same," Panaka replied. "We still haven't been able to
track the transmission back to Gunner and Lexar."
"Who are Gunner and Lexar?" Obi-Wan inquired as he exited
the transport with his Padawan in tow.
"Whoa, tha sun Ani," Jar Jar said, completely off topic.
"Ani bombad Jedi now." Jar Jar's eyes were bugging.
Anakin smiled despite himself. "Hello my friend."
"I'll brief you in my office," Panaka said leading the
group out of the hanger and down the stairway that lead to one of the conference
rooms. Sabe and the rest of the handmaidens were there waiting.
"Welcome back my Queen," they all said in turn.
"Hello, I hear things went well. You all remember Anakin
Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi," Amidala said nodding toward them.
They all smiled and said hello. Each girl's glance fell
on the almost man they had seen running at the foot of the Queen's gown
just a few years before.
"Panaka, you may brief them while I go prepare," she motioned
to her handmaidens and they all left the room.
----------------------------------------
Anakin found himself bored as Panaka spent an hour explaining
a data they had right in front of them on Gunner and Lexar. They had the
data, what did they need the speech for? Gunner and Lexar, it seemed, were
a Gungan-Human team who hired fighters for their game. The fighters wore
mask and remained anonymous. People paid to for the broadcast and watched
it in their home. But it was illegal and very underground. No one had been
able to trace the signal directly to the island where it was centered.
They had a volunteer member of the guard go undercover as a fighter and
that's how they'd found them. But in the end, the guard said had had a
change of heart about the sport and disappeared in it.
Anakin really didn't get what the problem was, fisting
wasn't the first battle sport in the galaxy and it looked harmless. The
fighters were padded, there were rules. Podracing was ten times more dangerous
than this and it didn't even exist in the same realm as pit-racing. He
had almost died in each sport and he had to have his senses tuned to it's
zenith just to participate. But this he could do on a bad day, never employing
the force at all. What in the hell was Amidala so worried about? Obi-Wan
was asking Panaka plenty of questions about the sport, but not the right
one.
"Master, may I speak," Anakin finally asked.
"What is it you wish to ask Padawan?"
"Panaka, How many people have actually died in this sport?"
"None, why?"
"Well, when the Queen said it was a blood bath, I expected
something at least resembling the dangers of podracing."
"This is dangerous. Children in the 12 to 17 age range,
your age range, have become obsessed with watching it."
"So, they watch a what, weekly broadcast and it turns
them into monsters. I saw a lot of horrible things---"
"Anakin!!!" Obi-Wan cut in. "That's enough."
"I'm sorry Master," the Padawan replied. It had been a
loooooooong time since he'd let his mind slip like that. He should never
have spoke that way. He should have listened to the situation, evaluated
it on his own terms and then--- "Kiss me good-bye Anakin"
He heard her voice as if she were sitting next to him.
Was that his problem, his distraction?
"Padawan perhaps it would be best if you waited outside
We'll talk later."
Anakin bowed to his master and left the room.
----------------------
Two hours later, Yane came and lead him and Obi-Wan to
their room. They would stay there for the night and then sail to Talok
town. Obi-Wan filled him in on what little more Panaka had said about the
"sport" and it's proprietors. They were given awhile to get settled and
then the Queen came with Sabe and Eriate to request Anakin Skywalker's
company for dinner. Obi-Wan wanted to say no, Anakin could sense it. Amidala
could just read it in the older man's eyes.
"Your invited too, of course," she said.
"It's fine, he can go," Obi-Wan finally replied.
But they didn't go directly to dinner. She took him outside
the palace. Anakin followed Queen Amidala out to the streets. They didn't
hold hands or speak much, he just followed at a distance. The People of
Theed stopped and waved at the Queen as she walked through the marketplace.
She retained her air of authority even while she spoke back to him. He
began to wonder if she ever blinked when she was "the Queen".
"Anakin, I heard how you responded to Captain Panaka,"
Amidala said as her company stopped short of a local school. The bell rang
and children began running out. A little girl and a Gungan child were chatting.
A group of boys, Gungan and human alike, ran to a nearby field throwing
a ball from one to the other. Two sets of teachers, Gungan and human, came
out of the building talking about there children's personality.
"We use to be very divided and we still haven't gotten
everyone together, but we're close, we're on the verge of making Naboo
whole. It's two primary species are beginning to think of each other as
neighbors. Fisting puts that very fragile bond in danger."
"But the two men who run it are a Naboo and a Gungan,
isn't that what you want."
"I want us living together in peace, not violence."
"Sometimes, just sometimes, isn't it okay to just let
your frustrations out."
"Like you and Siri?"
"Siri and I fought a thousand times without ever hurting
each other. It was no different than a lightsaber training course."
Amidala blinked, he could sense she was remembering there
little session, how they had moved together with his lightsaber, how there
minds had touched. They had never made love, but somehow she knew her mind
touching his through the force was so much more powerful. She swallowed
before she continued.
"They're not training for anything Anakin," Amidala replied.
"They're just hurting each other for sport."
"How do you know?"
"What?"
"You don't really know why they're doing it."
"Well that's why your here," Amidala replied trying best
she could to hold in her anger.
Why did she make his tongue lash out the way it did? On
Couresant, at the temple, they had been so tender with each other. Now
they were at odds, bumping heads on this issue like two bulls in a pen.
"I am sorry for speaking the way I have been your highness,
I just don't agree."
"And Obi-Wan? Does he share your opinion?" Amidala asked.
"Obi-Wan keeps an open mind," Anakin replied. In fact,
he had felt that Obi-Wan wasn't entirely sure the situation was what the
Queen was making it out to be either.
"I understand your worry my Queen," Anakin said with a
special emphasis on "my".
Anakin and Amidala turned and headed back to the palace
her handmaidens in tow.
----------------------
That evening, Obi-Wan and Panaka also dinned with the
Queen. After dinner with the Queen and Panaka, Anakin headed to the courtyard
to meditate. He needed to practice his calming exercises now. After spending
so much time close to his Queen, it was hard experiencing this distance
and conflict. He wanted to feel her close to him again, he wanted to wipe
that white make-up from her face. He wanted to tackle her in a kiss and
never let her go.
Then he felt her enter his space, her space actually,
it was her courtyard but his meditation. He slowly allowed himself to slip
back into her world. She said nothing, just walked up to him and touched
his face.
"I'm sorry," she said.
"Me too," he said pulling her into his arms and planting
a firm kiss on her lips, so hard he surprised himself.
" Can we do it again?" she asked.
"What?"
"What we did before," she smiled deeply.
He finally understood. "Of course," he said with a smile.
He pulled his lightsaber from his belt, and she nestled
in front of him, gripping the lightsaber over his hands and activating
it. She closed her eyes and inhaled, opened her mind to him the best she
knew how. In a way, opening her mind to him almost seemed natural, too
natural. She couldn't fight her heart with all the common sense she had
been taught and that was a horrible and wonderful thought all at once.
He would always know her heart, but he could also know everything else.
"Feel me, my mind, my soul, my heartbeat," Anakin whispered
into her ear. "and I'll feel yours."
All she could hear was the hum of the lightsaber as they
moved together slowly, slashing at nothing, but becoming one with the weapon.
The music was back, the seductive dance. She could feel the life around
her, the flowers, the people, and most of all Anakin. They were one body
all of a sudden. They were making love, but in a deeper place than the
physical body could ever go. How could they split up tomorrow? Perhaps
they hoped if they disagreed enough , they could stay around each other
longer.
Their dance stopped when he felt Obi-Wan enter the courtyard.
Anakin powered down his lightsaber and Amidala was released from her connection
to the force.
"That lightsaber isn't a toy," Obi-Wan said.
"I know Master. I wasn't playing with it," Anakin replied.
"Just with her."
"I would never play with her."
"On the contrary young Padawan, your playing with each
other. You are on the verge of womanhood my Queen and you are suddenly
realizing that being Queen, as important as it was and still is to you,
has taken away some of your life. And your trying to reclaim it through
Anakin. And Anakin, she's much easier to deal with than your responsibilities."
Anakin finally had had enough. What did Obi-Wan know of
love? He hadn't even seen into Siri's heart, seen that the whole incident
with Anakin was to get to him.
"I love her with every bone in my body Obi-Wan, I would
kill for her."
Amidala didn't seemed to pleased with this violent declaration,
no matter how powerful.
"I don't doubt you love her, you are not the first person
to fall in love Anakin. But at this point in your training."
"He even left the Jedi once...." he suddenly remembered
Siri saying it. "There was a girl....I don't know what their relationship
was."
"Melida/ Daan?" Anakin Questioned. Obi-Wan didn't need
to answer, he could feel the ripples in the force that came with the question.
Obi-Wan sighed and Amidala quietly left knowing that Anakin and Obi-Wan
needed this time alone.
"It wasn't a girl Anakin, it was a whole cause. Melida/Daan,
it made me earn my life as a Jedi. I made a judgment call that even the
council didn't completely disagree with, but what they did completely disagreed
with was breaking the bond Qui-Gon and myself began to develop. That relationship,
that love between a Padawan and his master, it's just as important as anything,
perhaps more."
"And the girl, how does she factor in."
"She was a part of the young. The young had risen against
the elders. They were in a civil war, life was death and death was the
only thing they honored. Qui-gon and I were unwanted guest in a civil war
and it was Cerasi who led us to the young. She had this beautiful copper
hair and these amazing crystal green eyes. Her friend was Neild."
"Just a friend?"
"We were all just friends Anakin, there was never anymore.
We were fighting a war, we didn't have time to go out and have dinner."
"Would you have?"
"At the time, my heart was in conflict about the whole
ordeal. Trust my feelings or Qui-gon's, what do you do when you and the
person you love disagree on a issue so serious. All I knew is the young
seemed right. And they were right in their intentions, we just weren't
ready for the responsibility. Kids, young people, they're just not ready
for certain emotional responsibilities. We won and the adults united, united
against us. I began being called an outsider, after I'd renounced Qui-Gon
and my Jedi training to join them. Only Cerasi was on my side. And the
group of young began breaking up, conflicting on issues. It became less
about what was right for the group and more about what one person wanted.
It was only when both sides and myself lost someone we loved that we realized
what had happened to us. See, Cerasi's father was one of the adult leaders
and he lost his daughter. Neild he was the leader of the Young, he lost
his best friend. And I lost her too. At first, everyone just wanted to
blame the other person and kill each other. I had to call Qui-Gon in to
save us all, make them see what truly had caused Cerasi's death. The temple
shields you from it, the pain so you won't grow up with it. But when your
thirteen and you feel and see death for the first time in someone close,
it still kills a part of you."
"I'm sorry you lost her."
"Maybe it wasn't romantic love, maybe it was. But I never
wanted to feel that strong kind of love again."
"And you haven't"
"Of course I have. I lost Qui-Gon, but it was different.
Qui-Gon, he was like a father, but he gave me something before I left,
you."
"Me," Anakin questioned. "You didn't even like me then."
"No, I didn't like that Qui-Gon liked you. It was like
an only child having to take a back seat the new little baby brother."
Obi-Wan smiled and patted him on the shoulder. "And then, you became like
my son. I wanted to train you not because Qui-Gon wanted me to, but because
you were important to me."
Anakin could do nothing but smile. "And what about Amidala?"
"I know when your young, it's magical and everything is
about the moment. But we are force sensitive. Our feelings can turn on
us very quickly when we allow ourselves to walk blindly into intense emotion.
The dark side of the force can wait for just that moment, the moment your
heart is filled with passion to turn it to something evil. If you don't
control your emotions and aren't able to achieve that inner peace."
"Passions rage out of control," Anakin finished.
"I know you love her Anakin, who doesn't know? But your
time will come and that time is not now. With patience you can one day
have a wonderful life with her. No one will stop you from pursuing her,
but I don't agree with it, not at this moment in your training."
Obi-Wan patted him on the shoulder and left him alone.
Anakin wanted to trust his masters feelings on the issue, but he might
not become a full fledged Knight for another ten years. Anything could
happen by then. Death should have taught Obi-Wan waiting is never good.
Anakin got up and headed back for his room.
When Anakin opened his door, he couldn't speak. She stood
before him, face devoid of make-up, and grabbed him into the room.
"Amidala?" he questioned. "Padme?" he asked when he got
a breath.
"Ever since we were together, in the mind, I could do
nothing but think of you. "
Could touching her through the force involuntarily opened
some part of her controlled part of her brain? HE had to stop this.
"Padme," he said grabbing her hands and holding her at
arms length before she tried to kiss him again. "This isn't you, it's some
weird effect of what we did." He had opened her mind to something more
pure, her desire.
Inhale he said and pulled her close. "Now feel me, then
feel yourself, all of yourself. Not only the part that wants----" He didn't
want to finish, it sounded conceited. "The part that wants me. Just like
I have to control the part that wants---."
He didn't finish, he looked down at her lips and kissed
them softly. They walked over to the bed kissing and fell on it doing so.
Neither of them understood in any verbal rational part of their brain what
was going on, but they finally got the strength to stop.
"This is wrong right now, isn't it," Anakin said looking
at the ceiling.
"Yes, but its feels right," she crawled into his arms
and he kissed her head.
They curled up together and went to sleep. When Anakin
awoke in the morning, she was gone.
It was Jar Jar Binks who saw them off. It was no great
celebration. They got up in the morning, had a quick breakfast and went
to meet their boat. Anakin wondered why Amidala hadn't come to meet them,
he would have loved to talk to her with a clear head. But there was a mission
to finish.
Anakin's long journey to the island that housed Talok
town was uneventful. Anakin and his master spent most of the journey in
meditation and study, it was the first calm time they'd had in days. However,
both were confident the peace they got on the boat, would not last once
they arrived in town.
As they approached the seaport, Anakin saw the town that
made up the island was basically a heap of old buildings. except for the
shiny arena that rose high at it's center. The marketplace surrounding
the arena seemed pretty new also. A few of the buildings looked to be under
renovation. Having spent most of his time on Naboo in Theed the first time
he was here, he was more than a little shocked to see a town in such disrepair.
Nester was the governor of Talok town. Like the rest of
Naboo's officials, he was elected to his position. The governor was waiting
at the seaport with two of his assistants and a bodyguard. When they docked,
the governor greeted them with the usual pleasantries.
"My sources tell me the Jedi do not agree with the Queens
assessment of our game," the governor said.
Anakin was a little thrown off by this comment, what sources?
The calm of the trip and long meditation had given Anakin a clearer head.
He felt no need to make the same outburst he had in front of Panaka.
"We have not decided," Obi-Wan said. "We do not serve
the Queen. We serve the best interest of the people. The Jedi are merely
peacemakers."
"May I speak openly," asked the Governor.
"Please do?"
":I only ask because I have heard the Jedi can sense deception
and I want to remain as honest as possible. Our sport is harmless and the
proceeds are being used to rebuild the town. Even before the arrival of
the trade federation this place was hard to manage. The Queen sitting in
her high castle in Theed has no idea what it's like for my citizens. And
I may also mention, Naboo's more glorious cities have had little to no
luck uniting Naboo's humans and Gungans. They had to fight both groups
to get them in school together. Because Talok is basically an island, we
are very close to our Gungan population. You can walk through our small
marketplace any day and see them working side by side. The game, Fisting,
isn't for the soul profit of it's creators, everyone has benefited. And
our dome." The governor pointed to the arena. "Is a product of combined
technologies. "
"You can't deny the sport promotes violence," Obi-Wan
entered.
"These aren't grudge matches. We don't purposely put people
together to kill each other. Many of the fighters have trained together,
have kids who play together, they go out for drinks after their matches."
"But it's illegal," Obi-Wan said.
"Not everything put into law is right. When you go back
to Theed, ask the Queen about little Toric and his cousin. They were twelve
and made their own little business. A newsletter for kids. For one article
on Fisting, they were locked up overnight. Two brilliant entrepreneurial
children."
"Were the arrested in Theed?" Anakin asked. It was the
first time he'd entered anything into the conversation. It was obvious
to Anakin this guy didn't like the Queen, but now he was going to far.
Implying she would lock up children. To hear him talk, you'd see Amidala
as a cruel tyrant and that she wasn't.