Author's Note: Yo, everyone. I like this story too much to not update.
Annwyn Sidestory: Thank you for LMAO-ing. It makes me happy when someone LMAO's at something I wrote.
Murgatroyd: I totally had to look them up. I can list about ten decimal places by memory. After a long time, I actually interpreted what the second part of your review meant. Gaaaaaah...I'm confused by the smartitude...If you review one of my stories, next time you need to use simpler terms. :D
Cricketeer: Awwwwwwww, thank you. :D Yeah, you can't help but love Kat, even though she's a total Sue.
Hsumi: Psssssh, no kidding. That's why I'm not an Endrance fangirl. Plus I generally don't like bishie guys.
"Okay," Rayne said. The authoress was sitting in a dark room with several other girls. "We seriously need to get rid of Kat. The only issue is...how will we?"
"I have an idea!" another girl cried.
"Cool, Ace!" Rayne said enthusiastically. "So, how will we destroy Kat?"
"Free cheese..." Ace said, cackling. Her tousled brown hair shook with each giggle, threatening to fall out of its ponytail, which matched her brown high-collared jacket. She paired the jacket with baggy gray pants and bare feet, and an old-fashioned pilot helmet topped it all off.
"Nice, Ace," another girl chuckled.
"Do you have any ideas, Ebonie Orchid?" Rayne asked. Another girl sighed.
"You can just call me Ebonie."
"Sorry, Ebonie," Rayne said, rolling her narrowed red eyes and tossing back her long silver hair. The insane writer-girl was dressed in straight black pants, black fishnet fingerless gloves, a long red tank top, a black vest, black flip-flops, and rhinestone-encrusted glasses on a beaded chain. Black jagged markings framed her eyes, not unlike the markings of a certain rock star in a certain band whose name refers to a technique used by two people in love (1).
"Much better," Ebonie said with a satisfied smile. Ebonie had a short blonde pixie cut that showed off her bright purple eyes. She wore glasses, a denim jacket, a purple top, and a pink skirt. On her feet were the brightest, sparkliest fuchsia shoes ever.
"Anyway, what are your ideas, Ebonie?" Rayne asked.
"I don't have any ideas. I wanna hear Ace's ideas."
"Okay," Ace said dramatically, tossing her ponytail over her shoulder. "So, to get rid of Kat, we have to get rid of her men. To do that, we put free cheese in a giant box with a sign saying 'Free Cheese!'"
"Okay, go on," Rayne murmured, writing it down.
"And, if Kat isn't nearby, they'll run into the box. Then we can shut it and put it in a room. Then, Kat will try to save her men, and we'll lock her in the room!"
"Cool," Rayne said, laughing. "I'll try that."
"But it all depends on whether or not Kat is nearby," Ebonie reminded them.
"Thanks, Ebonie," Rayne sighed.
"We need to make sure Kat isn't nearby. Ace can put the box of cheese down, and we can distract Kat!"
"Okay, how?" Rayne asked, raising her eyebrows.
"Uh, maybe we can ask her to give us tips on guys or makeup or computer hacking," Ebonie laughed.
"Okay!" Rayne said, capping her pen. "Let the plan begin..."
Aqua Capital Mac Anu
"There she is!" Ebonie hissed. She and Rayne were hiding behind the Canard guild stand. Kat was strutting through, winking. "Hurry!" Ebonie and Rayne jumped out of the bushes.
"Hi, you're Kat, right? Because we're pathetic nerds, and we want you to teach us how to be cool!"
"Okay," Kat said sweetly, since she was a sweet person (yeah right). "Let's go to my guild. It's called Beauty." Kat shepherded the nerds to her guild.
Ace ran out from behind a different stand and put a giant box down. She wrote, "Free Cheese" on a sign and stuck it to the outside.
"FREE CHEESE!" she hollered at the top of her lungs. She ran off to hide behind the stand again.
"Hey, Matsu, it's cheese!" Endrance said.
"But cheese is fattening!" Matsu said, gesturing to his manly six-pack. "And I want to stay ripped!"
"But it's free..." Endrance said.
"Eh, what the heck?" Matsu said. "Hey, everyone! Free cheese!" Every single player in Mac Anu ran into the box, and everyone in Lumina Cloth AND areas AND guild Homes AND guild areas ran into the box. The people who were logged out logged in so they could run into the box.
"AHA!" Ace yelled. She ran over and closed the box. Then she welded it shut with a fire spell, and carried it to her guild (Stratagem) Home with a wind spell.
"Ebonie and Rayne will be so proud," she sniffed. "Can you guys hear me?"
"Yeah...yup...I'm gonna eat cheese...shut up Matsu...I wasn't talking...Hase-Yo...stoooop...yeah."
"That's so cute," Ace said. "Bye, guys." She left the guild and locked the door.
Beauty Home
"In conclusion, to be cool like me, you have to be hot, smart, funny, and everything else good."
"WOW!!!" Rayne said. "That was amazing!"
"I feel like I can be cool!" Ebonie added. "Thank you sooooo much!" The two ran out, giggling.
"I can't believe it worked!" Rayne chuckled
"What worked?" Kat asked.
"Uhhhhh, I can't believe you agreed to give us cool lessons," Rayne said.
"Don't lie to me," Kat said. "I can read minds." She grabbed their necks and held them up in the air.
"LOG OUT!!!" Ebonie yelled. "She can't find us in real life!" They logged out and immediately logged back in. They ran into Stratagem and sat down on the floor with Ace.
"Hey, guys," Ace said. "Why are you panting?"
"Kat tried to kill us, so we logged out, and when we logged in, we immediately had to run here," Ebonie said, groaning.
Aqua Capital Mac Anu
"Hey, guys, I'm back!" Kat called. "Guys? Hello?" Kat looked around. There was NOBODY there. At all. She checked Lumina Cloth.
"There's usually SOMEONE in the root town," she mumbled. "I know!" Kat hacked into the database.
"Home scan," she mumbled. She scanned every Home there was.
"Wow!" she said. "Every single user is in Stratagem! Maybe they're having a party..." Kat ran to Stratagem. The door was open. She looked in the open room. There was a large, out-of-place couch near the wall. She didn't scan the couch, which was good, for if she had, she would have seen Rayne, Ebonie, and Ace behind it.
"What's back here?" she asked herself. She opened the door, and saw a huge box filled with people.
"Huh?" she mumbled. "Why is everyone in a box?"
"AHA!" Rayne yelled. She slammed the door shut. Kat heard the sound of a key twisting in a lock, and then heard a gulping sound, followed by a fit of giggles.
"Ew!" Ebonie's voice cried. "Ace, I can't believe you ate the key!"
"Well, she can't get out now," Ace said proudly.
"And nobody can log out from Homes," Rayne chuckled. "It's perfect!"
"When I get out..." Kat hissed.
"What do you mean, when?" the three nerds cackled. "Have a nice life!"
"Cheese?" someone offered. Kat narrowed her eyes. "Never mind."
Note: Uh, yeah.
(1) If you can name the band and/or rocker, you get free cheese or a cookie or something.
Ace: My friend who goes by Ace. Ace likes to make up random plans. She made up the get-rid-of-Kat plan long before I wrote this story. But I realized that the plan was perfect, so I asked if I could use it.
Ebonie: My friend, who actually is not Ebonie and has never been called Ebonie. She pretty much is the voice of reason with Ace, herself, and me. She usually has to keep us under control, even though she can be just as wild as us.
"Yeah...yup...I'm gonna eat cheese...shut up Matsu...I wasn't talking...Hase-Yo...stoooop...yeah.": Ace made this up before I wrote this chapter. We were Naruto roleplaying, and everyone got hyper off soda and ice cream, and this was the aftermath. I simply edited it to make it more .hack//GU-ish.
