I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! or any of its characters. If I did, do you really
think I'd waste my time talking to you about them instead of talking to
them? I also don't even own this story premise; it belongs to Sapphire
Wolf and Phoenix Tamer, and they're two delightfully cooperative girls who
let me post this in the first place. So, I wuv you two! Last but not
least, thanks so much to Serena, my so-much-more-than-just-a-beta reader,
who has (as of the writing of the sixth chapter) put up with a good dozen
versions of this story, and reviewed them all with patience. Now, read and
be amazed!
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Incidental Pyrotechnics
Incident Two: Canine Cuisine
Fifth period at Domino High, seven minutes to bell. Cooking class.
Among the cozy and bustling sounds and smells of the home economics lab, a voice rose in definite discord. "What the hell?" yelped Duke Devlin as he spit a mouthful of.something.into the in-sink garbage disposal, washing it down the drain with water as he yelled over his shoulder and across the room at his partner. "Wheeler, what the hell did you PUT in this shit? Good god-oh, sorry, teach!" He dried his hands off and returned to the lab station he shared with Joey, mumbling curses as he came.
"Devlin, it's all in yer head. I put everythin' in right, like you said. Ya *watched* me, dumbass."
"Watched or not, not even a dog would eat this shit! Taste it!" Duke protested, ripping a corner off the bundt cake and handing it to Joey. The blonde put the sample in his mouth, and immediately uttered a muffled curse, making a beeline for the nearest trash can. Duke merely folded his arms victoriously over the front of his pink frilled apron. "Did it right my ass."
The blonde fumed. He turned from the trash can slowly, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, and glared at his insolent black-haired freind. "Shaddup, Devlin! I followed the instructions ya read t' me! Either you read somethin' wrong 'r both our tastebuds 'r off, but that stuff's foul!"
Devlin shook his head condescendingly, causing his long dangling die earring to bop him in the cheek. He continued regardless. "No shit, Sherlock. But what's to say it wasn't your fault for putting the wrong ingredients in when I read 'em right? You're just stupid enough to do that!"
Keeping his voice terse and at a level not likely to attract censure from the instructor, Joey lashed out at Duke. "Oh, of COURSE it's my fault, eh? Well, ain't'cha happy, it's all Joey's fault. Guess who's gonna fail, Devlin! BOTH of us! Happy now?"
"No," Duke shot back sullenly, "I should have expected something like this. If I'd put the ingredients in as you read them off to me, this never would have happened. But, oh, wait-I forgot. You'd be no good at that, either- dogs can't read!" Duke laced the last three words with the most sarcasm he could muster, and Joey bristled like an electrocuted cat.
"Dog? You're forgettin' your *own* species, DUKE! And your sorry ass can't pass this assignment without me, canine or no! So what's that make ya, Dukie-boy? Dependent on a mutt!"
Duke didn't look up from the ingredients list, his face contorted with the effort of not rising to Joey's challenge. "Wheeler, shut up. Neither of us can afford to fail this damned thing. Help me figure out where we went wrong, *then* I'll cream you."
"Ah, whatever." Duke began reading off the names of ingredients on the list, Joey matching them with the boxes on the counter. When everything on the list had been counted, there was one discrepancy.
Duke firmly smacked himself, and then Joey, on the forehead. "Baking POWDER, y'dunce! How simple is it? Soda.powder. Soda.POWDER! Not baking soda, baking powder! Look at the la-bel! You baka, you wrecked our project because you can't *read,* you puppy!" He turned on the taller blonde at this, green eyes narrowed dangerously.
"I'll show YOU puppy, Devlin!" Joey got ready to throw a punch at his partner, but was stopped by a meaningful look thrown in the direction of the plump instructor by the other's piercing green eyes. He growled and satisfied himself with throwing the hand towel in Devlin's face. The other easily blocked it and it slid off his arm to the countertop. The two continued working in displeased silence for several more minutes until Joey noticed something funny.
"Hey, Duke. You smell anythin' funky?"
"No, it's probably just your freak-nose picking up shit from next door, mutt."
"Shut up, Devlin. I'm serious. It smells like something's.burnt."
"Not the cake!" Duke wailed, as he turned to face their oven-
-and came face-to face with a quickly-building blaze. The hand towel Joey had thrown at him had landed on the still-hot stovetop, and the fabric had easily caught flame. "WHEELER!"
True to his name, Joey wheeled about, only to react in the same levelheaded manner his partner did. Remembering something about smothering fires to stop them, Joey ran to the oven, cursing as he went, and tried to kill the flames by covering them with his apron. A few seconds and singed forearms later, Joey went spinning about the small classroom, screaming at the top of his lungs. "FIRE! FIRE FIRE FIRE!!!" Smoke from his blazing apron followed him around the classroom like a sick firework, and Duke stood in shock at his friend's stupidity and distress.
Their slightly rotund teacher, several steps ahead of Joey, had already snapped out of her state of shock and effectively woke the rest of the cooking class from their flame-induced trance with her screams.
"Oh, Jesus Mary and Joseph get me out of here RUN children out of here now Oh My God."
As Joey and Duke's classmates made their way through the doors in a less than calm and orderly fashion, Duke chased Joey around the home economics room, screaming profanities and commands at the top of his lungs. As the fire grew out of control, climbing into the overhead cabinets and from there to the ceiling, Duke followed a flaming, panicked Joey out the door and down the hall, yelling at him as they went, "Stop, drop, and roll! Stop, drop, and roll, dumbass!"
Keeping several yards ahead of Duke and showing no signs of slowing down, Joey wailed as he ran, "I'm not taking any more commands from you, Devlin!!"
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AN: Chapter two, completed! I switched more around in this than in the previous chapter, PT and SW-hope you don't mind. Keep reviewing, please! I won't write more if you don't!!!!
[||||]
Incidental Pyrotechnics
Incident Two: Canine Cuisine
Fifth period at Domino High, seven minutes to bell. Cooking class.
Among the cozy and bustling sounds and smells of the home economics lab, a voice rose in definite discord. "What the hell?" yelped Duke Devlin as he spit a mouthful of.something.into the in-sink garbage disposal, washing it down the drain with water as he yelled over his shoulder and across the room at his partner. "Wheeler, what the hell did you PUT in this shit? Good god-oh, sorry, teach!" He dried his hands off and returned to the lab station he shared with Joey, mumbling curses as he came.
"Devlin, it's all in yer head. I put everythin' in right, like you said. Ya *watched* me, dumbass."
"Watched or not, not even a dog would eat this shit! Taste it!" Duke protested, ripping a corner off the bundt cake and handing it to Joey. The blonde put the sample in his mouth, and immediately uttered a muffled curse, making a beeline for the nearest trash can. Duke merely folded his arms victoriously over the front of his pink frilled apron. "Did it right my ass."
The blonde fumed. He turned from the trash can slowly, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, and glared at his insolent black-haired freind. "Shaddup, Devlin! I followed the instructions ya read t' me! Either you read somethin' wrong 'r both our tastebuds 'r off, but that stuff's foul!"
Devlin shook his head condescendingly, causing his long dangling die earring to bop him in the cheek. He continued regardless. "No shit, Sherlock. But what's to say it wasn't your fault for putting the wrong ingredients in when I read 'em right? You're just stupid enough to do that!"
Keeping his voice terse and at a level not likely to attract censure from the instructor, Joey lashed out at Duke. "Oh, of COURSE it's my fault, eh? Well, ain't'cha happy, it's all Joey's fault. Guess who's gonna fail, Devlin! BOTH of us! Happy now?"
"No," Duke shot back sullenly, "I should have expected something like this. If I'd put the ingredients in as you read them off to me, this never would have happened. But, oh, wait-I forgot. You'd be no good at that, either- dogs can't read!" Duke laced the last three words with the most sarcasm he could muster, and Joey bristled like an electrocuted cat.
"Dog? You're forgettin' your *own* species, DUKE! And your sorry ass can't pass this assignment without me, canine or no! So what's that make ya, Dukie-boy? Dependent on a mutt!"
Duke didn't look up from the ingredients list, his face contorted with the effort of not rising to Joey's challenge. "Wheeler, shut up. Neither of us can afford to fail this damned thing. Help me figure out where we went wrong, *then* I'll cream you."
"Ah, whatever." Duke began reading off the names of ingredients on the list, Joey matching them with the boxes on the counter. When everything on the list had been counted, there was one discrepancy.
Duke firmly smacked himself, and then Joey, on the forehead. "Baking POWDER, y'dunce! How simple is it? Soda.powder. Soda.POWDER! Not baking soda, baking powder! Look at the la-bel! You baka, you wrecked our project because you can't *read,* you puppy!" He turned on the taller blonde at this, green eyes narrowed dangerously.
"I'll show YOU puppy, Devlin!" Joey got ready to throw a punch at his partner, but was stopped by a meaningful look thrown in the direction of the plump instructor by the other's piercing green eyes. He growled and satisfied himself with throwing the hand towel in Devlin's face. The other easily blocked it and it slid off his arm to the countertop. The two continued working in displeased silence for several more minutes until Joey noticed something funny.
"Hey, Duke. You smell anythin' funky?"
"No, it's probably just your freak-nose picking up shit from next door, mutt."
"Shut up, Devlin. I'm serious. It smells like something's.burnt."
"Not the cake!" Duke wailed, as he turned to face their oven-
-and came face-to face with a quickly-building blaze. The hand towel Joey had thrown at him had landed on the still-hot stovetop, and the fabric had easily caught flame. "WHEELER!"
True to his name, Joey wheeled about, only to react in the same levelheaded manner his partner did. Remembering something about smothering fires to stop them, Joey ran to the oven, cursing as he went, and tried to kill the flames by covering them with his apron. A few seconds and singed forearms later, Joey went spinning about the small classroom, screaming at the top of his lungs. "FIRE! FIRE FIRE FIRE!!!" Smoke from his blazing apron followed him around the classroom like a sick firework, and Duke stood in shock at his friend's stupidity and distress.
Their slightly rotund teacher, several steps ahead of Joey, had already snapped out of her state of shock and effectively woke the rest of the cooking class from their flame-induced trance with her screams.
"Oh, Jesus Mary and Joseph get me out of here RUN children out of here now Oh My God."
As Joey and Duke's classmates made their way through the doors in a less than calm and orderly fashion, Duke chased Joey around the home economics room, screaming profanities and commands at the top of his lungs. As the fire grew out of control, climbing into the overhead cabinets and from there to the ceiling, Duke followed a flaming, panicked Joey out the door and down the hall, yelling at him as they went, "Stop, drop, and roll! Stop, drop, and roll, dumbass!"
Keeping several yards ahead of Duke and showing no signs of slowing down, Joey wailed as he ran, "I'm not taking any more commands from you, Devlin!!"
[||||]
AN: Chapter two, completed! I switched more around in this than in the previous chapter, PT and SW-hope you don't mind. Keep reviewing, please! I won't write more if you don't!!!!
