Chapter 2: Until my Heart stops Beating

{Kotoko Point of View}

I'm dying; and I have been for 3 weeks luckily I'm back in Japan now with my family around me. It's been an emotional time there have been so many tears…so many none were my own however even though I'm the one dying I haven't shed one tear. I've been too busy coping with everybody else's my mother-in-law was the worst she cried non-stop for 3 days straight; which was awful to see. Irie on the other hand has been distant; he never even visits me anymore. I miss him everyday is worse than the one before; more tests more treatment it never ends and now my hair is starting to fall out.

"Kotoko.."

"Yes Dad."

"How ya doing?" My Dad came to check on me at every chance he could; now that business was flying better than ever after his own accident last year.

"I'm okay don't worry I'm still here!"

"Yes and you will be here for a very long time! You've got to stop saying stuff like that just because you may have come to terms with what is happening to you doesn't mean we all have.." I felt a stab of guilt at my dad's expression; how could I be so selfish my Dad had already lost the person he loved the most and now to have to watch me like this must be excruciating.

"I'm sorry Dad…I really am. I make a joke out of everything to get myself through it I'm still in shock." He smiled sympathetically at me before stroking my hair.

"Aren't we all hey, aren't we all.." The way his soft voice filled the room and the way his gentle hands smoothed down my hair brought tears to my eyes it was the first time in these hectic 2 weeks that I'd felt any tears. As I had suddenly realized I'll be alone I won't have Dad or Irie or Yuuki or Mrs Irie or Mr Irie; whilst they will be grieving they'll have each other whilst I'll be gone forever; alone.

"Kotoko; you have a visitor do you feel okay to have someone come in?" My regular nurse, Lilly, came in with her usual calm and reassuring expression.

"Yeah thanks Lilly; I'm good." I prayed that Irie was here to see me I hadn't seen him now for 3 days; not even a phone call. I looked up at the door when I heard a familiar gasping sound followed my muffled sobs. Standing in the doorway was my bestfriend Kin-Chan; he had been away for the past 2 weeks on a university trip with my other friends; the tennis team had had their annual tour which Irie and I had missed.

"Oh…Kotoko…"

"Hi Kin Chan." I guess I looked very different to the last time he saw me as my face had become considerably paler and I was know wearing a head scarf to cover my bald patches.

"How did this happen?" He moved closer to me and rested a gentle hand on mind; I took it happily and smiled sympathetically into his eyes I wasn't feeling sorry for myself but I knew this was a massive shock for him.

"Good question; I don't know in Hawaii I started feeling really strange and I had a few tests at the local hospital who diagnosed me." Kin-Chan's eyes suddenly filled with tears as he took in what I told him; there was no use telling him any medical details as he wouldn't understand any of it but by just telling him this and for him to see me I knew he understood how serious this was.

"Kotoko I will do anything to make you better; sail the other side of the world! Anything you can't die I won't allow it you are the sun that shines over us all!" I smiled to see the old Kin Chan come out.

"We'll see maybe there will be some miracle cure ha ha!" Kin Chan laughed with me but not before returning back to his emotional self. He couldn't stay long as he had to go back for his classes; which he was no doubt failing; but I was sad when he walked out of the room and left me; sadder than I normally was when people left. It just kept reminding me of how lonely I was soon to become when it was just me forever.

"Hey sleepy head!" I opened my eyes slowly to see Yuuki peering down at me; his childish face made me smile immediately. We had become considerably closer during my time in the hospital he would visit me almost every day and tell me about school; it was strange unlike the normal behavior of Irie's younger brother. It was odd how every time he visited he would take notes while we were talking maybe he was doing another project on me for school work.

"Yuuki! Good to see you!" He pulled up his chair and stared down at me with his big brown eyes.

"So what have you been doing cooped up in here all day?"

"Nothing as usual; Kin-Chan came today though so it was good to see him!"

"Oh that idiot friend of yours whose intelligence is so low it actually hurts my head?"

"Bingo." I suddenly felt extremely hot like a sweat had flooded my body and I felt very sick it was odd I had never felt like this before.

"Kotoko….you alright?" I tried to answer but I couldn't my head was burning as strange feelings started zipping around my body.

"Nurse! Nurse help!" A swarm of people came running in all shouting different things I turned to see Yuuki on the other side of the room staring at me in a horrified way. Suddenly my body flipped over by itself and I was shaking uncontrollably my vision was landed on the doorway where a face suddenly emerged. As the face grew nearer I started to recognize it even though my eye sight was blurring rapidly. It was Irie; Irie was finally here, my husband was finally here! I was overwhelmed with happiness that I didn't care about anything else but that was when my heart stopped.

"NO! KOTOKO!" Were the last words I heard before I took my last breath.