Learning To Live With A Broken Heart

(Chapter Two: Chicken Soup For The Soul)

THREE DAYS LATER

"I wish you wouldn't do this," Olivia mumbled as Elliot pulled the thermometer from her mouth.

"Do what?"

"Make this fuss over me. I'm fine."

"Just as I suspected. You have a fever. Back in bed."

"Elliot, really. It is just a cold."

"Just a cold you got laying out in the rain on the rooftop."

"It isn't a big deal. I can't believe this anyway, I never get sick."

"You haven't been resting or eating right and you are completely run down. Not to mention the stress you have been under lately. All of that stuff effects your immune system. If you take care of this it will pass in a few days."

"Like I said, I am fine." She coughed and sniffled.

"If you take care of it. Come on," he said pulling back the blankets on her bed. "You get some rest. I'll run out and get you some medicine and stuff to make you feel better. I don't want you out of this bed."

"Yes, sir." She smiled and climbed back into the bed pulling the blankets up around her.

"I laid your phone on the night stand next to the remote and a bottle of water. I shouldn't be long, I'm just running to the corner store. If you think of anything you need give me a call."

"Thanks, El."

"Hey, that's what friends are for." He winked at her as he stood to walk away.

She smiled and wiped her nose with a tissue then settled into her pillow for some much needed sleep.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

THREE YEARS EARLIER

Olivia sat at her desk sifting through a pile of papers.

"Is Casey here?" She heard a man's voice say from behind her.

"You just missed her," Olivia said as she spun around in her chair to face him.

He was Defense Attorney Trevor Langan and Olivia had met him a few times in the halls around the courthouse. He often faced off against Casey and Alex in court and had actually dated Alex briefly at one point in time.

"I was trying to catch her and give her these files. Well, At least I got to see you."

Olivia smiled. He was flirting. And it was nice to get attention from a member of the opposite sex, someone other than the guys she worked with.

"Is there anything else I can help you with?" She asked flashing her best smile and batting her eyelashes at him. Two could play this game.

"Actually, there is. Do you have a minute to walk me to the elevator? There is something I would like to talk to you about."

"Sure," she said standing and walking beside him toward the door.

"Olivia, I know we don't know each other that well. And that is probably my fault. I haven't really taken the time to…" he exhaled. "What I am trying to say is that I was wondering if maybe we could get together sometime? Drinks or dinner or something. Just talk. If you're interested, that is."

Olivia smiled as she leaned back against the wall and bit her lower lip. He was handsome and successful. Defense Attorney, yes. But Trevor was a Senior Partner at his firm Henshall & Langan. But none of that mattered to Olivia. Casey and Alex had known him for years and had nothing but good things to say about him. Casey had actually suggested to Olivia on more than one occasion that she should set the two of them up. Olivia of course politely declined. She hated the idea of being set up by her friends.

Olivia took a deep breath and stared into his eyes. Her heart was racing and she knew she would have to be insane to turn down his offer.

"That sounds nice. What did you have in mind?"

"Actually, my firm is having it's annual Christmas party tonight. If you aren't too busy and it isn't too short of notice…I would love it if you would do me the honor of accompanying me."

Olivia smiled again, she could feel herself blushing. "I would love to."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Okay," he said with a sexy smile. "Dinner and drinks are provided. It is formal, I hope that is okay."

"I do own a few dresses," she laughed.

He laughed. "Right. I just…I have only ever seen you like this," he said gesturing to the black slacks and sweater she wore to work most of the time. "I'll pick you up at seven?"

"Sounds great. Here is my address." She scribbled it on his hand. "I will see you at seven."

"See you at seven," he repeated as if in a trance as he stepped into the elevator.

At seven o'clock sharp there was a knock on her door. Olivia opened the door to see Trevor smiling back at her, looking more handsome than ever.

"Hi," he said handing her a bouquet of roses.

"Hi," she said with a smile. "Thank you." She showed him into her apartment. "Just let me grab my keys."

"Great place," he said looking around the apartment. "I love the view." he stood looking out the door at the view from her balcony.

"Oh, that is nothing. The real view is from the rooftop."

"This has rooftop access?"

"Private," she said opening the door to the stairs leading up.

"Do you mind?" He asked pointing at the staircase.

"Not at all."

Olivia followed Trevor up the stairs and out onto the roof.

"You were right. This is an amazing view."

"I love it up here. So peaceful. I come here a lot to think. It is quiet and secluded. No interruptions. Just me and the sounds and lights of the city."

Trevor looked over at her and smiled. Olivia laughed a little embarrassed.

"We should get going," he said pointing toward the door.

"Yeah," she replied with a smile and they were on their way.

That night at a table for two after two hours of meeting and greeting and listening to half a dozen long boring speeches they finally got a moment alone.

"You are bored out of you mind?" He asked smiling at her.

"No," Olivia said shaking her head.

"It's okay, I am too."

She smiled and laughed.

"This night would be a total bore if I weren't sitting her with you right now."

"That is sweet."

"I try to be honest."

Olivia laughed.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing. That is just a little amusing coming from a man who makes a living convincing a jury that a of group of pedophiles and rapists are as normal as you and I."

"It bother's you?"

She just stared at him for a moment.

"My work, what I do? It bother's you."

"Maybe a little."

"It doesn't mean that I agree with what they have done, Olivia. But everyone, no matter their crime, deserves the best defense they can get. It's a job. Try not to take it personally."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I know that sometimes my job makes it harder for you to do your job. But sometimes our work is on the same side. You seek justice for the victim. I seek justice for my clients. It isn't always fair. And there have been many big cases I have won and feel inside like I have lost. I am not always proud of the outcome of a trial. The nights when my client, who happens to be guilty of murdering his wife and child walks free. Or is sentenced to only five years in prison instead of the maximum sentence because of the work I have don't to defend him, I cannot sleep. It eats at you. Enough that many times I have thought of getting out of it. But then a case comes along where someone who truly is innocent is about to go to prison. Or someone committed a crime, but they are not mentally competent to take responsibility for their actions. And I step up for them. I advocate for them, I speak for them and that person gets the treatment they need instead of spending the rest of their life being raped and beaten in prison or put on death row. Those nights, I sleep. Those nights, my job is well worth doing. We have a lot in common, you and me."

"How do you figure?" She asked taking a sip from her wine glass.

"We dedicate our lives to helping others. Fighting other people's demons. Sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Sometimes winning is really losing."

"I don't think I have ever met anyone else who understood that," she said. "People look at my work and they assume that it is all so clear. We catch the bad guy and we put him away. That it is all black and white. But it isn't that way at all. Infact the entire thing is one big gray area."

"I know what you mean."

Olivia smiled as her eyes scanned the room.

"Let's talk about something else," Trevor suggested.

She took a deep breath and another drink of wine.

"You know I have been wanting to ask you out for a while now."

"Why didn't you?" She asked. Now the conversation was starting to get interesting again.

"Shy, I guess. I talked to Casey about you on numerous occasions."

"Oh yeah?"

"All good stuff. We actually had a deal. About tonight. We had a case, I was defending a guy she was trying to put away. If she won, I asked you out myself. If I won, she was going to talk to you for me."

"I take it she won?"

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Yes," she replied leaning closer to him.

"I didn't fight that one as hard as I could have."

Olivia's eyes widened at his confession. "That is illegal. You blew a case for a chance at a date with me?"

"Not exactly. I mean, talking to you was one of the many benefits. But knowing that man was behind bars where he needed to be was the only way I was going to be able to sleep tonight."

Olivia pressed her lips together and leaned back in her chair unsure of how she felt about this. "What did he do?"

"Like I said, I cannot always be proud of the outcome of a trial. I could have won that case, but a murder would have walked free. A cold blooded killer."

"The man who killed his wife and child?"

"Yes. He was having an affair. Needed to be rid of the wife. If he got a divorce, he would have lost his fortune. So he staged a break in and beat her and shot her."

"Oh my God."

"The little girl, too. As he was telling me this and I was fighting back tears. He said that his little two year old daughter was crying after watching him kill her mother. He screamed at her to shut up, but she kept crying. So he raised the gun and shot her. I couldn't let that creep walk."

"You did the right thing," she said softly.

"What I did could cost me my career. I broke my oath."

"You brought justice to two victims who wouldn't have seen it otherwise."

"Well, it got to me. It isn't supposed to, but it got to me. This morning I turned in the request for some time off. Just a little break. A couple of weeks. Just until I get it out of my head. No one knows what I did. Not even Casey."

"So why tell me?"

"I feel like I can trust you."

"You barely know me."

"I know." Trevor reached across the table and took her hands in his. He stared into her eyes for a moment, then leaned forward to kiss her lips

Olivia smiled. It was a perfect first kiss, she thought to herself.

"Would you like to dance?" He asked.

"I would love to."

Trevor stood and escorted her to the dance floor where they held tight to each other for the next hour. Olivia leaned her head against his shoulder as he held her so close she could feel his heart beating.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO

It had been just over two hours since Elliot had returned from the store. He carried a tray of soup and hot water for tea down the hall toward Olivia's bedroom. He pushed the door open slowly and sat the tray on the night stand beside the bed.

"Olivia, wake up. I brought you some soup," he said softly.

She took a deep breath and opened her eyes, pulling her from the dream she was not sure she wanted to wake from. She moaned softly and sat up in the bed to look at Elliot.

"I got you some cold medicine and hot tea and soup."

"Elliot, I hate chicken soup."

"Well, I made this special."

"You made it?"

"Yup. I didn't figure I would get you to eat anything from a can. Chicken, egg noodles and a few carrots. No celery. I know you hate celery."

Olivia smiled. "Thank you."

"Here," he said handing her the thermometer.

Olivia took it, placing it into her mouth. A few seconds later it beeped.

"I got some medicine that should help with that fever." He opened the box and handed her two yellow pills and a bottle of water. "Now you should eat something," he said handing her the tray.

"Okay, okay." She picked up the bowl and took a couple bites of the soup, sitting the pills down on the tray. "This is really good, El."

"And I brought those little oyster crackers you like."

Olivia laughed. "You take such good care of me."

Elliot kissed her forehead. "It is my job to take care of you."

"I was having a dream."

"A nice dream?"

She looked at him over her soup bowl. "Trevor was in it."

"That will probably happen for a while, Liv."

"It was more like a memory than a dream, really. Our first date. The Christmas party for his work. Three years ago. He looked so nice."

Elliot reached up and combed his fingers through her hair. "I rented you a couple of movies while I was out. They had that new Thriller you wanted to see. And I picked up a couple of magazines. Thought I would give you something to do so you don't get bored while you are stuck in bed."

"I don't know if I can do this," she said softly sitting the tray aside and walking across the room to look at herself in the dresser mirror.

"It will take a little while for you to start to get through it. But you will. Things will never be the same without him, Olivia. He was a good man and he will be greatly missed. But you will move on. It just takes a little time."

She pressed her lips together and turned to look at him as she began to cry again. She leaned back against the dresser and wiped a tear from her cheek. "I am so scared, Elliot. I never thought I would be in this position."

"Honey, none of us thought you would. I figured in three weeks Trevor would give you the wedding of your dreams and you would live happily ever after together. Have a couple of babies and a house. Maybe a dog."

"A dog?"

"My point is, I thought he would be the one to make all of your dreams come true. So did he. Or he never would have made that promise. How could have anyone have known that some psycho out on parole for good behavior would shoot him on the courthouse steps?"

"He closed that case just before he asked me out. We talked about it that night. He could have won it. He could have gotten the man off, clear. But he couldn't do it. He let Casey take it. And they put that man away. Three years ago. He should have never been released."

"Prisons are over crowded. They let him out on good behavior, gave him an ankle bracelet and four days later he murders someone else."

She sniffled again.

"Liv, You should take that medicine. It will help kick this cold."

"I can't."

"Don't be stubborn." She just stared at him and rubbed her hand over her face. "Why not?" Elliot asked.

"Because, I'm pregnant." The room was quiet for a moment as Olivia moved to look out the bedroom window. "Babies and a house and a dog… who would have thought I would have it on my own?"

Elliot raised his hand to squeeze her shoulder. "Are you sure?"

"I found out that morning. I haven't told anyone yet. I was waiting until that night to tell Trevor."

"He would have been so excited."

Olivia smiled through her tears. "I know." She exhaled and stared at him. "I don't know if I can do it Elliot. Raise a baby alone."

"But you're not alone. You have me and everyone from work. Always. How far are you?"

"Umm, I don't really know yet. I can't get in to see my doctor for another week."

"I'm gonna be here for you, Olivia. Through thick and thin. No matter what. You are my partner and my best friend and my family and I love you."

"I have an appointment, tomorrow."

"I thought you couldn't get in until next week?"

"No. It's an appointment with an agency. I called them this morning. My baby deserves two parents," she said softly as she began to cry. "A real family. And I can't give that by myself." She wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "It is the right thing to do."

"If you want, I could go with you. For support."

"You would do that?"

"For you?" He reached up and took her hand in his. "I'd do anything."

Olivia stood up and hugged him.

"Now," he said kissing her forehead again, "back in bed."

Olivia laughed and crawled back into the bed.