DISCLAIMER
"The Pretender" and its characters don't belong to me (unfortunately!), they belong to their creators and owners and are being used without permission, but for no profit, just for fun.
Don't sue – you know, I have no money at all!
I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter. The second is also the last one.
Thanks for reading! :)
BLUE COVE
04/15/1999
Tommy and Parker were lying in her bed. He hadn't told her yet about the house he had bought in Portland. It was too difficult. He didn't know where to start. The only thing he knew was that he loved her and didn't want to lose her.
That afternoon, they had talked about death. She had been so scared when he had told her he would leave her all his shirts, should he die. Then he had promised her not to go anywhere, but he was still thinking about the house that was waiting for him in Oregon.
No. Not only for him. For them.
And now, they were talking about her mother. Parker explained she was her whole life.
While looking at Catherine's picture, Tommy felt sad because he didn't have any photos of his family. So he told Parker the truth about his own tragedy.
"My folks died when I was twenty. You know, I was so angry I just walked away. I don't have any photos of them. I wish now that I did."
"It's just a picture. It does make me feel connected to her, like she's protecting me."
"Yeah."
In that moment, he remembered Jarod's words about his mother and brother's pictures.
It's just a bunch of photos, but…they make me feel like…like they're still with me. Like Kyle's never gone, and like my mother's watching over me…
Parker and Jarod were so close to each other, even if they had never realized.
Thomas was happy because Parker loved him, or at least seemed to.
But he knew, deep inside his heart, that she secretly felt something for Jarod. There was a very strong connection between those two, and it was a pity that they couldn't see it, too.
"I'm sorry, baby."
It was the first time that Parker called him baby.
It felt so good.
While she was sleeping, Thomas stood up to call Jarod.
He had to talk with him, and he really hoped he was awake.
"What?"
"Hope I didn't wake you…"
"I don't sleep much at all, you know."
Jarod seemed glad to hear from him.
"I heard you bought the house. I'm glad. Did you tell her?"
Thomas sighed, "Not yet."
"What are you waiting for?"
"A few moments ago, we talked about her mother's picture. The one she keeps on her bedside table."
"The one with Catherine's smiling and holding her as a baby. That's her favourite one."
Thomas didn't figure how Jarod could possibly know about that detail, but he didn't really need to gain knowledge about it.
"Yes. She told me the very same things you said about your family's photos. That she feels like Catherine's protecting her…"
Jarod smiled. He knew the feeling.
And he knew her. Better than anyone else. Even better than Thomas.
"You two are so connected, Jarod. Sometimes, when she talks, it's like I'm listening to you, not to her. You have the same thoughts, you feel the same about so many things. It's like if you were two…pieces of the same puzzle."
Jarod smiled at the metaphor. He liked it.
"We grew up together, we had the same…background…"
"You had each other. And I'm so thankful that she had you. She's the most amazing woman I've ever met."
"I know. And she deserves the truth. So tell her about Portland. And hope she won't shoot at you."
"What do you mean?"
But Jarod had already hung up. He couldn't talk a second more, because he felt so lonely and desperate. And yet, he knew he was doing the right thing. He was letting her go, and she was in very good hands. Thomas' hands.
BLUE COVE
04/25/1999
Tommy was angry and depressed. He had decided to follow Jarod's advice, once again. He'd spoken with Parker the morning before, he'd told her about Portland and his idea to leave. Portland was already waiting for them, and he needed to go soon.
The realtor had been very nice, seeing that he had known Thomas for most of his life. He still had to sign the papers, but he was the new owner of the house, by now.
Parker's reaction had been exactly the one he had been expecting of her. She'd gotten scared. She was terrified, and Thomas knew. The idea of leaving her job and family was difficult to accept, and yet he couldn't understand her behaviour. Parker was almost panicking.
So, when he'd seen her coming to his place to talk, he'd figured out her intent at once.
She had come to break up with him.
Their quarrel was fast and final, Parker had left him no choice. She had put on her Ice Queen façade – a nickname he had once heard Jarod use to define Miss Parker's usual self – and she had excluded him from her life.
Thomas hadn't slept at all, that night. He wanted to call Jarod, but he hadn't found him. So he opted to do what Jarod would have suggested he do. He had decided to settle things once and for all, so he went straight to The Centre, waiting for Parker to show up.
She had been upset to see him there, she hadn't expected to have to face him again.
They'd fought, again. Tommy wanted her to understand how much he cared for her, and that she was following her father's will, not her own.
If Jarod had taught him something, it was that she still behaved like her father wished her to, not like she wanted to.
Jarod's words had been frank about that taboo subject.
"We had a…huge fight a few years ago. I wanted her to confront her father, she didn't, and since then we…don't talk anymore."
Then she had screamed in exasperation, criticizing his life and the fact he didn't have commitments at all.
This is a commitment. Can't you see that?
The echo of his own words was still resounding in his mind. How could Miss Parker believe that she had obligations towards a family that didn't even understand her?
She had spoken about relationships, and he had been so close in revealing his friendship with Jarod, because he seemed to be the only person who really cared for Parker's happiness.
And she didn't even know!
She couldn't imagine that the just-a-boy-she-used-to-know-when-she-was-a-kid was the main author of their relationship, the one who had lit the torch between them.
And he wanted her to leave, he approved of Tommy's idea of going as far as possible from that damned place – whatever it was.
Parker had said she had a life, but Tommy wasn't sure anymore that she was ready to share it with him. He had begged her not to make him leave without her, but he didn't know if she would finally accept her feelings.
He could only hope.
He continuously tried to call her, but she didn't answer the phone. He also left her a few messages, but she hadn't called him back yet. He was abandoning all hope.
Suddenly his phone rang, it took him just a second to answer.
"Parker?!"
"No, it's Jarod. Hey, you sound worried, buddy. Did I miss something?"
Thomas sighed. He was glad to finally hear from his friend, but he'd been hoping it was Parker speaking.
"Well I…I think it's over, Jarod. Parker gave me the boot."
"What do you mean? She gave you a pair of boots as present?"
Thomas started to laugh, not sure if Jarod was serious or just teasing him.
"I told her about Portland, Jarod. I think she won't come."
Jarod couldn't believe his ears. He was sure that Thomas would be able to melt Parker's heart, but now he was realizing he had been too hasty. He had to help him. He didn't know what to do, he hadn't been speaking with Parker for days, he was trying to let her go. It was very hard to talk with her and pretend not to be Tommy's friend, not to admit he'd been the one to introduce Thomas into her life.
Not to tell her what he truly feel about her.
"What am I going to do, Jarod? I've been to that place too, The Centre, but it seems like I've annoyed her more."
"You showed up to The Centre?" Jarod asked him, worried for his friend's safety.
"Yes…and you sound as preoccupied as she was when she saw me there! What the hell happens in that place, Jarod? Will you tell me?"
Jarod understood Parker's worries at once. Thomas was a thorn in her father's side, he shouldn't have done such a stupid thing. But it was too late, by now. Jarod would take care of it later, should it be necessary.
"Where is she now?" Jarod asked him, voluntarily ignoring his last question.
"I think she's at home…Home…such a meaningless word to me, now."
"Why?"
Jarod was curious. He'd always dreamed to have a home, to be reunited with his family. How could Tommy deny the importance of having one?
"Because since my parents died, I've felt at home just once…when I met her."
Jarod shut up at once, trying to avoid tears streaming down his face.
That was too much, for him, too.
"I didn't know anything about love, before meeting Parker. The first time I've experienced that feeling…it was when I looked into her eyes. It felt…like I had found my place in the world again."
Jarod sighed.
"Did you ever tell her that?"
Now it was Tommy's turn to sigh. "No. But I did tell her that I love her. And she's never said that to me."
"Parker's words are always less important than her actions. And I'm sure she loves you, too."
"I wish you were right."
"Hold on, buddy. Give her a chance."
"I'll be waiting forever, man. I love her too damn much."
Jarod's face turned into a sad smile. He hung up and decided to dial another number at once.
He had to help them both. And if Parker needed a little boost, he was the one who had to give it to her.
Parker's phone rang many times. Jarod was afraid she would not answer.
He was proven wrong when Miss Parker picked up the receiver and spoke.
"I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you, Tommy."
For a moment, Jarod felt like he was dying. She had never addressed him in such a soft and lovely way. Thomas was a lucky man, indeed.
"No. it's me."
Jarod could imagine Parker's disappointment to realize that he was the one speaking.
He knew she meant it. She really didn't want to hurt Thomas, but she was actually making him suffer, and not only Thomas. Herself, too.
"Jarod. You got another clever message for me?"
"I only wanted you to know that Thomas was selling. From the sound of your voice you've already discussed it."
Jarod wanted desperately to tell her the truth. He wanted to shout that he knew because Thomas had told him a few moments ago. That he knew because he was his friend. He was her friend.
"Yeah. He's moving to Oregon. He wants me to go with him."
She sounded softened, in a certain way. So Jarod dared even more.
"So go."
Parker made an half laugh. "You'd like that, wouldn't you? It's too late anyway."
Jarod now was fully aware that she did care for him. That she truly wanted things to be different. She was looking for a turning point, but she was too afraid to see it, even if it was right in front of her face.
"You picked a fight with him, didn't you?"
Both Jarod and Parker remained silent for a few seconds. He wanted her to understand that he knew too much, and probably Parker figured out that this was too weird even for a pretender like Jarod. How could he know that she had actually had a quarrel with Thomas?
"This isn't what you want, Miss Parker!"
Parker thought that Jarod sounded very much like Thomas when he had told her that she didn't mean what she said, that it was her father talking, not her.
"Why does everybody suddenly know what I want?"
Jarod was scared, because he did know what she wanted. He had known her for years, decades. He knew her so well that he had sent her the only man who could help her change her life.
"Your mother always knew. She was trying to leave the Centre the day that she was killed. She wanted to take you as far away from there as possible."
He had done his magic. Whenever he mentioned Catherine, Miss Parker used to lower those walls she had built years before. He knew that she was listening.
"That's what Thomas wants. It's no coincidence."
Parker hung up. Jarod was very worried for her, but he didn't have time. He was in the middle of a pretend, and he needed to stay focused. Even if it was very difficult to let everything go. He could only hope that his message had reached the destination. Miss Parker's heart.
Tommy couldn't believe his eyes when he saw Parker entering his bedroom.
Had she finally surrendered?
It felt like heaven. She was there, with him. Ready to finally open herself to a "stranger".
"There are things about me, things that you need to know before you make me a part of your life."
She hadn't even let him answer. He could only listen to her.
"You were right. It wasn't me talking. I haven't been me for a long time, not since... I think you made me realise that... there are places in me Tommy, dark places."
In that moment, Tommy remembered one of his conversation with Jarod.
...
"There will be dark places in her. Very dark places. And you must be ready to accept them, if you want this to work."
"Meaning that I could reject her, should I find out she's too…weird?"
"Not weird. Tortured."
...
And so he had said the only things she'd been needing to hear from him.
"And you're afraid that if I see them, that I'll reject you? Parker, if something is not right, we'll deal with it... together. I'm a fixit man, remember?"
"I guess that makes me your new project."
"And this one I'll never sell."
When Parker finally fell asleep, he called Jarod.
He could tell he was driving because of all the background noise. He was also listening to the radio.
"This is Jarod."
"Hey, man! Where are you going?"
"Thomas! Your voice sounds much more relieved and pleased. Does it mean that…?"
"Yes, it does. Parker came back tonight. She's ready to leave with me. And she wants to talk with her father, too."
Jarod sighed in happiness. He was so glad to hear that news. And he was even happier because he knew that, in a certain way, it was all to his credit.
"I'm very happy for you, buddy. I'm sure you're going to make her happy."
"Jarod…"
"What?" he asked, his voice almost a soft moan.
"I know you've got something to do with that. She changed her mind, and I don't know how. But thank you."
"I've nothing to do with that, Tommy. But I must warn you about her father. It's not going to be easy for him to let her go…he's…very protective."
"She told me. I hope it'll all work out."
"It will."
"You know, Jar…She told me almost the same things you said about her. She confessed she's got dark memories in her past. Dark places she keeps hidden deep inside. She made me think about you."
"I told you I used to know her well." Jarod tried to minimize his bond with Parker.
"It's not just that. It's like if…never mind."
"What?" Jarod asked, with curiosity.
"I don't know. She was afraid I would reject her, should I see those places…Jar, you were right about her. You were right about everything. And I'm never going to thank you enough for what you did for me. For us."
Jarod smiled. He cared for Thomas and Parker. He truly wanted them to be happy. Maybe, by going so far from The Centre, they would reach their "happily ever after".
"I told you…you had to be strong, to win her heart. You did it. That's all that counts."
"I'm so afraid you will disappear now, Jarod. I don't want to lose you."
He grinned to himself.
"I'm not leaving, buddy. Not yet. I'll be in touch."
"I hope so. You're the best friend I've ever had, Jarod."
Jarod opened his eyes wide.
"Same here, Tommy."
He hung up and smiled sadly.
'Same here'.
BLUE COVE
05/07/1999
Thomas knew Parker was going to talk with her father. He wanted her to make him understand she needed to leave, that she wanted to leave. He couldn't imagine her father's authority over her, he still believed she could convince him to let her go.
When he received Mr. Parker's visit, he felt at once that man would have been a tough opponent. It was a father who wanted to mark his place in the world. And he also wanted to put Thomas in his own place.
Tommy was trying to act civilly, but when Mr. Parker gave him that blank cheque, he couldn't bear anything else.
"Fill in any amount you want, we shake hands, get on with our lives. All of us."
"I love your daughter, Mr Parker. No amount of money in the world could ever change that."
He was proud. Even if he knew this was like signing an act of war against the Parkers.
He didn't care at all.
Everything he wanted was to live with Parker, to love her and be loved by her.
He didn't like this man at all, he couldn't believe that a lovely creature like Miss Parker had come from such an evil person. She was definitely her mother's daughter.
And yet, he didn't tell Parker anything when she came back home.
He didn't want her to get worried or begin a fight with her father. He knew they had to handle this situation in the kindest way, he didn't want Parker to leave her father without his blessing.
She would regret this for the rest of her life.
And Tommy wanted their life together to be filled of happiness and love, not resentment and remorse.
That night, Parker was sure her father and brother would never let her go.
Tommy couldn't understand, she was a grown woman, she could make her own decisions. And yet, they seemed to have a power over her. Like they were controlling her life, everything she did.
"It's not that simple". She told him.
And once again her words reminded him of a conversation with Jarod. The first they had about her.
...
"Who is she? Your girlfriend?"
"It's complicated."
...
Thomas wondered if, for the rest of his life, he would be thinking about Jarod's words whenever she'd say something about her family, her job, her feelings, or her past.
Then they heard the bell ringing and they found out Mr. Parker and his son were at their door. Parker had never been more scared and surprised in her whole life.
Mr. Parker's words were ponderous and careful. It seemed like a script he had been studying all day long.
When Thomas heard him saying that he had been selfish, he was almost fainting. That man certainly had the nerve.
"The um, Yakuza have a saying that love and fear fly to heaven on the same wing, which means the things we do because we love somebody are also the things we do because we're afraid. Like when Dad tried to pay Thomas to go away."
Thomas felt like he could kill his girlfriend's brother, in that moment.
She was not supposed to know that. He didn't want her to get worried about her father's attitude. And he didn't want her to think he was hiding something from her.
Except for the fact he knew Jarod.
"What? Why didn't tell me that?"
"Because it wasn't a big deal. He just... he made an error in judgment, that's all."
And after a list of well-prepared apologies, her father finally said the magic words.
"If you think that leaving is the best for you then, um, go with my blessing."
Parker couldn't believe his words, and neither did Thomas. He was sure Mr. Parker was kidding. Even when he heard him saying: "I just want you to be happy, that's all I've ever wanted."
Thomas saw the door closing behind the two weirdest men he'd ever seen, he felt relieved and relaxed. That was the happiest moment in his entire life.
"Well congratulations, Parker. It looks like you're finally in control of your own life."
"Yeah."
"How does it feel?"
"Confusing."
Thomas wasn't ready for what was going to happen. The only thing he knew was that he loved Parker and that their life together could begin, eventually.
And he owed Jarod.
'If it wasn't for him', he thought.
Once again, when Parker fell asleep, he took the phone and called his friend.
Jarod saw the phone ringing and noticed it was Thomas. He wanted to hear good news, and yet he was afraid at the same time. He knew that, should Tommy tell him that they were leaving, Miss Parker would finally disappear from his life. For good.
And Jarod wasn't ready, at all.
But that was the right thing to do. He knew he still needed her, he still cared about her. And that was the same reason he had to let her go.
"Hey buddy, why the late call?"
"Jarod! We did it…we're leaving in a couple of days!"
Jarod swallowed hard, like he had no more fluids in his mouth. So, that was the end.
"What about Mr. Parker?"
"The old man finally came to his senses. He gave his blessing. I've never seen her so happy and scared at the same time!"
Jarod knew the reason, but couldn't tell Tommy. The Centre was the most dangerous place he'd ever seen. Mr. Parker's blessing meant that his daughter would be able to leave without fearing repercussions or being chased. It seemed that she was finally free.
"She will be scared and confused for a very long time, Thomas. You must be ready to accept her attitude. If I know her well…"
"You do. Much more than I do."
Thomas interrupted Jarod, he wanted to confess his fears to his friend.
"Don't blame yourself, buddy. You've been a glimpse of a light in her life. Her flame had died and she's been searching for someone to rekindle that fire for years. And finally, she found you."
Jarod realized what he had just said a few seconds later.
He was quoting his own book, the one he had written for Miss Parker as a Valentine's day gift.
Back then, he had been sure they would have ended up together, eventually. Sure that they would have found each other again.
And yet, here they were.
Thomas was the one at her side, the one that would make her happy.
Not the pretender, her childhood friend.
And she would never know that Jarod had been the one to give her this present.
She couldn't find out.
"I'm afraid Jarod. I can't lose her."
"You won't."
"What about you? Will you be okay?"
Jarod smiled that sappy smile of his.
"I'll be just fine. Life goes on."
"Yeah. You know what, Jar?"
Tommy waited a couple of seconds.
"I'm so glad I've met you. You changed my life. And you lead me to Parker. I will never be able to thank you enough for that."
"Just – " Jarod hesitated for a moment. "Just make her happy. And remember, never tell her about me, ok?"
"I swear, Jarod. But it's wrong. She deserves to know the truth, you told me that, too. She deserves to know what a good friend you've been to her…you should have told her…your feelings."
"What feelings?"
"I know you love her, too, Jarod."
Jarod's heartbeat accelerated slightly.
"I know you let her go because you think she hates you, but you know what? I guess she doesn't hate you at all. She doesn't have it in her heart…"
"Or her eyes…" Jarod whispered.
Hadn't he told the very same things to Broots, once?
Thomas was right. He did love her. He couldn't live without her, or with her.
"Are you sure that's how you want things to be left between you two?"
Jarod chuckled. "Well, if I wasn't, I'd be a perfect idiot, wouldn't I?"
Thomas burst into laughter and so did Jarod.
"Am I going to see you again?" his friend asked him. Jarod could hear expectation and sadness in his voice. And he knew this was the last time he was talking with his buddy.
"Perhaps, one day. 'Till then, I want you to promise me something."
"Everything."
"Miss Parker will never have to cry anymore. Ever."
Thomas frowned.
"Are tears of joy allowed?"
Jarod laughed together with Tommy.
"Deal."
"Goodbye, Jar. I wish you all the joy you gave to me."
Jarod sighed.
"Bye, Tommy. Take care of yourselves."
"I will."
The last thing Tommy heard after hanging up, was a dull sound coming from the porch. He glanced at his bedroom, where Parker was sleeping peacefully, and then he exited the house, to see what was going on outside.
BLUE COVE
05/08/1999
When Jarod heard the news and saw Miss Parker appear on the screen, he couldn't believe his eyes. Silent tears came streaming down his face when he realized that Thomas Gates, one of his best friends, the man he had been talking to just a few hours ago, had died.
He felt sad, angry and desperate.
The first idea that came to his mind was to leave for The Centre, wait for Lyle to show up in the garage and kill him with his bare hands. He was sure that Lyle had something to do with it.
And yet, he knew that revenge wouldn't help.
Tommy was dead and he needed to keep his wits about him.
He needed to keep his pretender-mode on and try to get through that dirty story on his own.
But what would Miss Parker do?
He could just imagine how difficult this would be for her.
Her lover, her partner, the man she was going to build a life with.
They'd taken him away from her.
Her father had made her believe they were going to let her go, that she had their blessing.
Another lie. Another squalid lie.
Jarod was sure: The Centre was behind Thomas' death. And he would find out how and why.
All Tommy's executioner's' faces came to his mind.
Mr. Parker was probably the one who had given the order. But how could he prove it?
And who was the material author of the crime? Lyle? Raines? Willie the sweeper? Sam? Or maybe Brigitte? It didn't matter anymore. He just wanted to find the truth. He needed to find the truth.
Because he felt responsible. He had been the one to involve Thomas in their world. It was all his fault. If Tommy hadn't been involved with him in the first place, he would still be alive.
Jarod cried lonely tears, he just couldn't stop.
'Tommy is dead'.
Then it occurred to him. He had something to do. The very first thing to do.
He wiped the tears from his face and took his cell phone. He was going to do what, just a few hours before, he had promised himself he wouldn't do anymore.
Her phone rang and she answered after a few seconds.
Her voice sounded sad and empty.
"Hello."
"I saw the news report about Thomas. Are you okay?"
'What a stupid question!', he thought. 'Of course she's not okay!'
"It's too soon to tell."
"They said it was an unsolved homicide. Do the police have any suspects?"
Knowing the authorities as Jarod did, he was already sure of the answer.
"One, if you include me."
'Crime of passion'. The first idea that always comes to every single detective's mind.
"You must be close if you saw the local report on television."
Jarod felt his heart beating again. Then, his Parker was still there. He'd been afraid she would let herself go, seeing that Thomas wasn't at her side anymore.
But she was a fighter. She would never give up on him.
"Always the hunter, Miss Parker."
He hated himself. All he wanted to say to her was how much he cared about Thomas, about her. He was almost telling her the truth, but she wasn't ready. He needed to help without telling her of his hidden friendship with Thomas. 'One thing at a time.'
"I…barely have enough energy to sleep, let alone chase you around. I appreciate the call Jarod, but if you don't mind, I have a lot to think about."
Parker needed a life preserver, something to help her not sink.
Jarod would give her that.
He would help her find out who had murdered Thomas, by using his annoying incomplete clues, his stupid hints, his nonsense messages.
Parker would hate him, as she had always done.
And this would help her to go on and find a new reason to survive.
By hating him, she would gain new strength.
So Jarod got back to his old habit. He had to guide her towards the truth, one step at a time.
"Like finding out who did this. You might want to take a closer look at the people around you."
"And what exactly am I looking for?"
Parker was almost grumbling, but Jarod didn't care. He knew she was listening, as she always did when it came to him. While holding a piece of glass, he remembered Thomas' words about their relationship.
...
It's like if you were two…pieces of the same puzzle.
...
Jarod knew what he had to do. And he also knew what he had to say.
"Missing pieces, Miss Parker. Missing pieces."
And we all know what happens next.
Thanks for reading. Reviews would be very appreciated!
