LOST [Niconozoeli] - Nozomi's side
Summary: The third years graduated, Muse disbanded and a few years had passed. Eli had met an accident a year ago, leading her into a coma. Nozomi struggles to come to terms with the fact that Eli might not wake up and her growing feelings for Nico.
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Walking down the hallway towards the ward Eli was staying at, Nozomi had her hands intertwined with the short raven haired woman beside her. She took a glance at her -current- girlfriend, trying to read the expression on her face.
'Is she... nervous too?'
Since her own hand were sweating pretty badly, she couldn't tell if the sweat was a mix of her own with Nico's.
No doubt she was still feeling the guilt for having to break the news to Eli. The blonde had been her girlfriend since high school and she had been convinced they'd be together for a long time. Until that accident happened, knocking the blonde into a coma with little hope that she was going to awake from it.
The doctors had told her there was a slim chance she'd recover and that she should prepare for the worst. During the whole year the blonde was bedridden, Nozomi had visited her almost every day, after work, and even stayed overnight on some days. She tried everything she could, hoping she'd manage to stimulate the blonde's sense, that it would wake her up from the coma.
Though as months passed, the hope she had started to fade and soon disappeared.
At her wits end, Nico, her best friend, stayed by her side when she needed the most support. Soon, she realised that her feelings for the blonde was slowly replaced by the budding feelings she was having for Nico.
And eventually, she confessed.
Nico was quite surprised at the revelation at first, but admitted that she was having similar thoughts about Nozomi. She had been seeing Maki less frequently recently due to work - same goes for the red head - and at times she wasn't, she was busy with comforting Nozomi.
She was starting to think that they shouldn't see each other for a while, so that they could give their feelings a proper consideration. However, that thought disappeared completely when she heard Nozomi's confession.
They took quite a long time to reach Eli's ward, the hesitation in their steps strong. Nozomi tightened her grip on Nico's hands and felt the raven haired woman do the same.
Nico had reached out for the door's handle but before she could attempt to open the door, Nozomi had stopped her. Her hands on the shorter girl's wrist were trembling and the strength in her hand barely there.
"Nozomi, we decided this together yesterday, didn't we? Are you planning to back out at the last moment?" Nico said in a small voice, careful to not let their conversation leak into the room.
"Nozomi. If you won't do it, I will."
Nozomi had jerked back when she saw the determination in those red eyes.
"B-but..." Nozomi had wanted to voice out her thoughts, though the words had gotten stuck in her throat and eventually died out. She knew that dragging the situation any longer would only end up hurting all of them.
"This is going nowhere. I know... it's going to be hard on her and you trying to keep it a secret longer isn't helping. She's gonna get hurt either way."
In her heart she understood it all, that what Nico said was only the truth, just her cowardice preventing her from facing the situation.
Before Nozomi could come to terms with her own thoughts and make a decision, Nico had taken a step forward and slid the door open.
As they walked inside, Nozomi had avoided eye contact with the blonde even though she knew the blonde couldn't see her. She couldn't stand the guilt, for having deceived her the past month.
The time they spent in the room was suffocating; she had to excuse herself to the bathroom to calm her nerves. She wasn't even paying any attention to the conversation Nico and Eli were having. She couldn't stand to hear the blonde weak, gentle voice, oblivious to what cruel truth would be revealed to her later before the end of the day.
Supporting herself with her hands on the sink, Nozomi stared into the mirror, seeing herself in the mirror only made her hate herself even more.
'Nozomi.'
Her eyes opened widely; she was starting to hallucinate.
'Nozomi.'
She heard it once more, the gentle voice that always whispered her name so lovingly.
'Nozomi, I love you.'
The voice that had repeated such sweet words every time she had a chance to.
"I'm sorry..."
Nozomi clenched her fists against the sink, shutting her eyes tightly, trying to void the voice that refused to stop haunting her mind.
"I'm sorry, Elichi."
Nozomi stood at the mirror, till she felt the ache in her heart reduced to a bearable one, turned on the tap to wash her face. After drying off her hands at the hand dryer, she headed to the exit, her hand resting on the handle.
'I have to return. To end this. End this misery, for our sake, Elichi.'
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A/N: Hey there! Thanks for reading. I might scrap this and the other one and rewrite the whole thing as i'm not really satisfied with how the story turned out. I didn't really manage to put my thoughts into words properly and it bugs me. There might be a third part to this, showing Nico's and Maki's side of the story.
