Chapter 2
Suraa sat in numb silence. The sound of the air bus registered marginally in her senses as she contemplated all that had happened. She had been on Terra sixteen point three standard months and in that time she had never sought out her father. Suraa knew that he lived in the area and although she did not know the exact location of where he and his family lived, he would have been easy to locate. But she did not attempt to make contact. Even when she first arrive with little credits and no one to turn to, the idea of contacting Captain Spock was repugnant. "He was never a part of my life as a child, so why would he care about me now?" Her mind asked. But if she really thought about it, she would have realized that these thoughts were not her own. They were a product of everything that her mother had told her.
From the time that Suraa was able to reason, T'Pring had allowed her black heart to rule in the raising of her eldest daughter. The stately vulcan woman spoke in half-truths or outright lies. Although T'Pring would have denied having such an illogical failing, her anger and resentment toward the Star Fleet officer colored her view toward her own child. This is now what Suraa had to overcome and difficult as it was, she chose to fight her mother's oppression in her own way.
Even though Suraa had lived on the fringe of her familial unit all her life, with each passing day she slipped further and further away from their circle. At first it was just family gatherings. When Stonn, her mother and younger siblings went out, her mother always told Suraa that the event was something that would not be edifying for her, so the young vulcan remained home alone. Suraa really didn't mind because when she was home with only the silence surrounding her, she did not have to hear about her mother's disappointments. Most importantly, Suraa did not have to be reminded that her father's blood had contaminated her forever.
As she watched the city lights pass below her, Suraa remembered her last day on Vulcan. A part of her did not want to leave the planet of her birth, but the choice was not her own. Suraa should have felt the trouble brewing when Stonn began to pay extra attention to her. At the time Suraa wondered why her mother's husband showed a sudden interest in her, but her youthful logic had never placed anything nefarious behind his motives. Even he explained to Suraa that he grew weary of witnessing the treatment that Suraa underwent at her mother's hands. Unfortunately for Surra, T'Pring's malicious mind had little difficulty in conjuring up a motive. Rather than confront the problem, the older vulcan woman chose what she thought was the logical solution and that is how Suraa ended up alone on a distant planet far from home.
With a slight grimace that few would have noticed, Suraa gazed out at the sleeping city. She knew who her father was and how she was conceived. She was a product of the pon farr, nothing more than a product of rape. The intellectual side of Suraa knew that vulcan men could not be blamed for this short coming. Even Stonn, for as much as her mother praised him and his offspring, fell prey to this condition. But in Suraa's mind what Spock did could be the equivalent of rape. Her mother had no choice in the matter, when the madness consumed Spock all T'Pring could do was to let nature take its course, and Suraa was the end result.
Suraa released a slight sigh as she turned away from her own reflection in the window. Never a day went by that T'Pring hadn't reminded Suraa of her lineage. Sometimes it was spoken of in open conversations. If Suraa was falling behind in her studies it was the fault of her human blood, and if on occasions she demonstrated her anger or disappointment, this was a failing from her father, Spock. No, whatever shortcomings Suraa had, whatever disappointment she caused was because of her human blood.
As the air bus rounded the corner before her stop, Suraa glanced at the chronometer that glowed on the plate near the bus driver. A part of her wanted to go to her modest studio apartment, but another part did not want to be surrounded by silence. When the air bus landed on the platform the driver looked back at her and waited for her to rise and disembark the vehicle. Instead she shook her head negatively before the man closed the doors and resumed his route.
Tonight she did not want to be alone.
At her illogical feelings Suraa released a slight smile. Now that she was on her own she wished that she could have flaunted these emotions to her mother. She wanted to be able to yell and scream that she was human and see what her mother's reactions would be. As it was, everything she did since arriving on Terra was contrary to anything her mother believed. Her mother had told her on that last day that Suraa would never be able to survive on her own, yet she had. Even though T'Pring had given her nothing to live on, she had not only managed to procure a flight to Terra, but she found a place to live and eventually a job. Not only that, but she had met people who enjoyed her company.
"Of course, mother always said that I'd end up in a brothel," she silently mused.
Suraa never saw the irony of her mother's predictions. Whenever T'Pring pointed out her lack of beauty, it never dawned on Suraa that this would be the primary quality needed in order to work in a brothel. All she knew was that her mother had predicted that one day she would end up working for an Orion slaver as a prostitute.
Her brows creased slightly as she remembered her mother's words. Even all these months later they still chiseled their way into her psyche. Suraa always felt that she was inadequate as a vulcan, and this was reinforced daily by her mother's words. She wasn't even good enough to have a formal bonding, as her little sister had. With an inward smile, Suraa leaned back in the air bus seat. "Perhaps it is fortunate that I was not bonded," she mused to herself. Yes, if she had been bonded then she would be forever tied to Vulcan. The vulcan man who would have been her mate would one day come to her and force himself upon her, as Spock had done to her mother. Perhaps a child would have been produced and she would have repeated the cycle of anger upon the innocent babe. But this would never be Suraa's fate because according to her mother, Suraa's human failings had deemed her an undesirable bondmate for any vulcan man.
"No vulcan man will want to pollute his progeny with your human blood," T'Pring had stated with finality. But Suraa quickly learned after arriving on Terra that Human men were not as discerning. Not only did they seem attracted to her, but they gravitated toward her likes bees to honey.
"Go with it!" Nadine, her friend from the café had once said. "When men find you attractive, you've got to play along with it, hell, you might even get a dinner or two from it!" the older human woman had cackled.
Nadine had become not only the closest thing to a friend that she had, but as the lead waitress at the café, she had become Suraa's mentor. The newcomer had only been hired because of Nadine's urgings and confidence in the strange vulcan woman. The elder woman's words swayed the owner to accept Suraa on a temporary basis that quickly became a permanent position. On the first day that the young vulcan woman began working it was Nadine who taught her how to carry the multiple servings without dropping them. When the older woman noticed Suraa's physical discomfort, she had given her a pair of her own work shoes to wear. This was something that Suraa was quick to refuse, but the elder waitress would not hear the girl's protest. She simply winked and stated that "girls have to stick together," which is what they did.
During the quiet times when the place was empty and all they could do was to clean up already clean tables, Nadine spoke openly with her. She told Suraa about her many men, and their exploits. When she met the Star Fleet doctor, Nadine never hesitated to tell the young woman about how charming and handsome the doctor was. Later, when a few young cadets began to stop by for lunch, it was Nadine who pushed Suraa to accept an invitation from one of the cadets. Thankfully, it was also Nadine who encouraged Suraa to break up with the tall blond man.
Suraa may have been naïve to the ways of humans, but she knew after a short time with Mark Stevens that caution was needed. In the beginning he was polite and courteous with her. But as the days went by he became more demanding with her to the point where Suraa was not certain how to end it. Thankfully, after seeing the greenish bruise on her forearm, it was Nadine who stepped in on Suraa's behalf. With a no-nonsense manner, the older blonde woman took the tall Star Fleet cadet to the back of the kitchen. With a meat cleaver in hand, she spoke to the human, her face as fierce as Suraa had ever seen. After that, the young man never returned again and Suraa was very grateful for Nadine's intervention.
With a slight smile, Suraa sat up straight as she watched the approaching stop. It was already late at night, but she knew that Joseph Littlefeather would still be awake. Joseph was not someone she would have noticed on her own because he was a quiet, unassuming man. Had it not been for a chance meeting with Nadine, Suraa might have lived in the city forever without ever meeting the charismatic art student.
"Suraa, I know I messed up the last time with Mark, but I'm telling you, this one is a keeper!" the woman smiled as she pushed Suraa toward his table.
The first thing she remembered of him was his easy going smile and white teeth. vulcan's were not normally mesmerized by humans, but as T'Pring always pointed out, Suraa was far from being a vulcan. She was human, with human failings, illogical thoughts and all of the problems that humans had to endure, so Suraa didn't think it was wrong to accept her friends urging.
Joseph Littlefeather was unlike any human she had ever seen before. He was tall with straight black hair that hung past his shoulders. His tan-brown skin held a healthy sheen and his dark eyes peered at her with an intensity never felt before. Unlike Mark, Joseph's moods never changed and he was never demanding of her. When Suraa felt the time was right, she had been the one to initiate a more intimate contact with him.
As the air bus docked at the landing platform, Suraa stifled the smile that crossed her lips. Her mother would have been mortified to know that she was having sexual relations with a human. "But then again," Suraa thought, "she always told me this was all I would ever amount to."
Ignoring the plaguing thoughts of her past, Suraa rose from her seat and made her way to the platform. Unlike where she lived, Joseph lived in a part of town that was always bustling with activity. As the cool night air clung to her, she moved past the numerous night clubs and coffee houses. The student's voices rose with raucous laughter as they enjoyed their evening games. Suraa felt a few of the men, as well as some women, glance her way. Their interest was visible by the looks of lust that they cast toward her. While a part of her mind told her that they were simply interested in the exoticness of her appearance, another nagging thought convinced her that their looks were unwarranted. "After all, I am not a beauty, as my mother is," her thoughts would whisper in the back of her mind. Pulling the cloak closer around her body, she continued on her path and made her way toward the tall building that was nestled in between two lodging towers.
Suraa knew exactly where she was going because she had been here so many times. As she walked up the steps, she entered the large glass doors and greeted the student who worked as a doorman. The young man glanced at her over the desk before he smiled with recognition, and nodded.
"He's in?" she asked as she walked toward the lifts.
"Hasn't left all night," the student smiled before returning his attention to his studies.
Sometimes when Suraa saw the life of the students, she envied their position. Although she did not have a clear definition of what she wanted to do with her life, seeing the students focused on their individual studies brought a pang of jealousy to her. It was illogical, she knew, but it was in her nonetheless. Continuing on with her education was not an option for Suraa. Although she had high enough marks to enter into a program, she would only be able to attend an academy on vulcan. Now that she was forced to leave her home world, she had little choices in her future. Without the financial backing, or a sponsor, Terra would not allow her to attend. The outworlders who had managed to gain coveted spots at the various Terrain Universities had gained admissions because of an extraordinary ability. For Suraa, she was realistic enough to know that she was far from extraordinary. She was not like her younger sister whose skilled voice enabled her to interpret the songs of T'Leshra, an ancient composure. Nor was she like her brother who had a grasp of astrophysics. During family functions Suraa was always reminded that she would never equal or excel the talents and skills of her siblings, so rather than raise expectations, she did not flirt with the idea of ever excelling beyond her means.
Suraa never would have acknowledged that her thoughts were not her own. Each time she contemplated taking a chance in life, she heard the telltale voice of her mother reminding her of who she was. Yet she never recognized the familiar echo in her mind as that of her mother's voice. Although T'Pring continually reminded Suraa, and the rest of the immediate family, of the girl's failings, it never dawned on either mother or daughter that T'Pring's actions were highly illogical. So rather than confront her own personal demons, Suraa chose to live her life as best as she could.
As the lift opened to the top floor, the young vulcan looked around before making her way to the familiar door. From outside she heard the sound of music filtering through the door. If she closed her eyes she could almost imagine him standing before his easel, his paints would be nearby as he created images that only his mind could see. When she leaned against the door, she placed her palm on the cold wooden surface. She contemplated turning away and going back to her apartment but before she could make a move the door suddenly opened.
"Suraa!" the tall, beautiful man opened the door. Raven dark hair that held the lights reflection was now covered with a spattering of multi colored paints. For only a span of a breath, Suraa was mesmerized by the silky strands that fell past his shoulders. The simple white shirt he wore was unbuttoned in the front to reveal his smooth, muscled chest. Although an artists, he made full use of the university gym, which is how he managed to have such a magnificent physique that was pleasing to the eyes.
Suraa felt warmth on her cheeks as he stood before her. His clear white teeth beamed a welcoming smile. Before she could speak, he popped his head out and looked down the hall, and then turned to her as he welcomed her into his place.
"I thought you were…" he nodded toward his neighbor's door, "awe, never mind. He was supposed to come back with food, but I guess he got distracted. Lucky me, huh?"
Although some humans might consider him average in looks, for Suraa he was a handsome man. His bronze skin, sculptured body and easy going smile was enough to cause the most surprising reactions in her. If her mother had met him, she was certain that T'Pring would not approve. But T'Pring was not here. Her mother had not been cast out from the family and she was not left to fend for herself on a planet that was not her own. So rather than dwell on the nagging voice in the back of her mind, Suraa turned her attention to the very human man who stood before her.
When she saw the canvas on the easel she moved before the painting and looked at the haunting images. The reds, orange and yellow colors blended in to depict the hot, parched life of the desert. At the arid sight, Suraa felt homesick for the red planet of her birth, but when she remembered that this was a Terrain landscape, a slight smile turned her lips into a curve.
"You like it?" he asked as he began to wipe down his brushes before carefully putting them away.
"Yes, very much," she acknowledge as she stood mesmerized by the beautifully haunting image. Before she realized it, he was standing behind her, his body easily molded to hers as his chin rested near her cheek. His strong arms snaked around her waist as he held her close.
"So, what brings you here?" he asked in sotto voice.
Shyly, she ducked her head as the feel of his breath caused the hair on the back of her neck to rise. Closing her eyes, she leaned back against him as he began to lightly kiss her cheek. Suraa never thought that she would welcome the touch of a human, but ever since arriving on Terra, she grew to welcome human contact. Contrary to her mother's words, Suraa knew nothing about human sexual nature. In the beginning she didn't understand the unwarranted attentions of men nor did she think that close contact would be welcome. But there was a great deal that she had learned in her time with humans. She discovered that although it may seem illogical, the pleasures that could be derived from two bodies were exquisite in its simplicity.
"Come on Suraa, what's going on?" he whispered again as he turned her to face him, his dark eyes held hers as he gently brushed aside a strand of hair from her face. At this move she realized that she was still wearing her filthy waitress uniform. Crinkling up her nose, she pulled away from him as she dropped her cape on the back of a chair and began to make her way to the facilities.
"I need to wash the stench from me," she said as she began to unclothe and enter the small shower cubicle.
"What stench? I don't smell anything but you," he added as he moved to join her.
"For a human, you can be unkind. I do not smell like cooked animal flesh," she added with humorous indignation as she cast him a slight smile.
"Well I don't smell anything offensive…exciting maybe, but not offensive," his voice held a melodic tone as he stripped away his garments and followed her into the small enclave.
"Humans! Your noses are so inferior," she whispered as he pulled her into his embrace.
No words were needed, so in silence they alternated between gentle kisses, and bathing each other. The telltale sign of his arousal brushed against her skin causing a shiver up her spine. For one wicked moment she had an image in her mind of her mother's disgust. T'Pring would have wrinkled her nose at the idea of being so close to a human. Suraa had seen her reaction enough times when she spoke of Spock. It was enough for Suraa to realize that whatever disgust her mother held toward the Star Fleet officer, was also bestowed upon her. But it didn't matter to her. Suraa no longer had to answer to her mother so she didn't care if she received the woman's approval. So rather than dwell upon these errant thoughts, she allowed herself the delicious moments that she could share with a human who was gentle and kind to her.
Just as they had done in the past, the two quickly bathed and then dried each other off. As he moved through his loft turning off the lights, she crawled into his bed and watched his actions. His long damp hair hung past his broad shoulders. When he turned the final light off, she could see his silhouette through the diffused light of the city street lamps. Through the haze of darkness she saw his prominent erection in the darkness and a slight smile crossed her lips.
Although she had taken all of the required courses that taught the act of mating, there were a great many things that were left out. What she had not learned in school, Suraa learned from her mother, which was very little. T'Pring never spoke of what she shared with Stonn, but Suraa knew that they frequently mated. It was an activity that they both seemed to enjoy and although neither one spoke of it, Suraa could not help but think that such activity was illogical. The only thing that T'Pring openly spoke of was the horrid experience that she had at the hands of Spock, and like a criminal paying for the crime of her father, T'Pring let Suraa know that such activity was a disgusting, illogical human failing. But now, after living amongst humans and sharing herself with them she realized that such closeness was anything but illogical. It was this very human man who reinforced in her mind that she no longer cared if her mother approved or not. All Suraa cared about was spending as much time as she could with this handsome man.
As was his nature, Joseph moved slowly. His gentle touches lowered her barriers that were always placed around her psyche. Lips that were beautiful to behold left a trail over her body. His fingers that could caress the most intoxicating images on a canvas freely roamed over her body. Each touch elicited a slight sigh from deep in her throat. When he dipped down between her legs, she heard her own rasping breath like a distant echo. Her legs quivered as his artful tongue did things to her that no other could, and when she felt all control lost, he held fast and rode out the waves that shattered through her vulcan sensibilities. As the sound of the city rushed outside, she felt as if she were riding on the tailwind of a sandstorm. Before she could come down from her exquisite high, he moved over her body, his hardness easily slipped into her wet, welcoming folds.
As their bodies moved against each other in a syncopated rhythm,Suraa wonderedwhat a full vulcan melding would have been like with this man. The pleasures that she received, the exquisite sensations that his rhythmic thrusts caused, brought about a sense of wonder and amazement that she wished that she could share with him. But as her mother had always pointed out, Suraa was human with no psi abilities. All of the vulcan healers had stated that this was an anomaly that might not ever change. For T'Pring, it was a further reminder of who Suraa's father was. Suraa had been told by the healers that if she were bonded to a vulcan, he would be able to mind meld with her in order that she could share in the mating ritual. Because of this, a part of her always wondered what it would have been like to share these tumultuous sensations with the man who was now riding her body.
When she reached behind his back and felt his muscles straining, she arched her back as a wordless "O" escaped her control. Her legs wrapped instinctively around him, pulling him, beckoning him to fill her completely. As the dampness of their sweat mingled, Suraa acknowledge that it was illogical to assume that a vulcan man could have achieved the same results upon her as this very human male. So rather than dwell on a mind bond that they could never achieve, she put her full concentration into the human mating ritual.
If anyone had told Suraa that she would one day be making love to a human, she would not have believed them. She would never have thought that her body could respond in this manner from the mere touch of a man. Although she knew that a marriage with a vulcan could never be in her future, she never contemplated bonding with anyone else. But that was then. That time was long ago before her mother had ordered her to leave her childhood home. It was before her mother cast forth wicked accusations that Suraa did not understand. And it seemed like it was a life time ago since she took what meager credits she had to travel across space to the only planet where the inhabitants would accept her.
"Suraa…" his husky voice whispered as she moved below him. Before he realized a change, her slender legs pulled him and held him deeply within her as she pushed against his chest until he rolled onto his back still attached. As she straddled him, she felt him deep within her. Her eyes closed in concentration as her hips swayed over him. She felt him below her pushing upward, hips straining against gravity to fill her completely, and then he gave in and simply allowed her to move to the rhythm of her bodies needs.
"Suraa….l-love me," he whispered as he sat up and wrapped his arms around her body. Like a man lost at sea, he clung to her. His breath came in harsh, gasping sounds.
With a negative shake of her head, she lightly touched the tip of her fingers against his lips. When she clenched her lower muscles, he inhaled deeply as he rested his head against her bosoms. She wrapped her arms around his back and held him close as she continued to rock her hips back and forth.
The sound of his voice, the request he made was nothing new to her, but she could not give him what he wanted. Although her mother accused her of human failings, she did not know what it meant to love. She could not have explained that for her, love was not a possibility. So rather than answer his question she simply continued to sway over his body, their mutual pleasure ricocheted through their bodies as they strived to reach their separate climaxes. Only after he cried out and she felt him releasing his seed within her did she allow herself to lose control.
A slight meowing sound came from deep in Suraa's throat as she felt the pleasure race from where they were joined, through her body, to end in the core of her brain. Shivering uncontrollably, she held fast to his body as the last remnants of pleasure surged through them. When it was complete, she felt her body drained of strength as she fell over him. His arms held her close as his heart rate slowly decreased and his breathing returned to normal.
"Suraa…" he whispered through the darkness. Before he could say more, she reached up and laid her fingers over his lips to quiet his next words.
"Shush," she asked as she disentangled herself from him. When she lay on her side, she felt him moving behind her. While one arm cradled her head, the other wrapped over her body and held her close.
"Can I ask, why did you come here tonight? Not that I mind, or anything. I'm just wondering," his voice was tinged with amusement.
She thought about his question for only a moment before she spoke softly. "He was there again."
"Your father?" he seemed suddenly alert.
"Yes. He was there again," she sighed.
"Did he follow you again?"
"No…he spoke to me," she explained as her mind replayed that first official meeting with the man who had never been in her life.
"He ordered pancakes again?" he chuckled softly.
She saw the humor in his question and felt a smile cross her lips. With very little vegetarian plates to offer, the Captain was left with ordering only one dish. Each time he showed up during Nadine's day off, he would take the same table and order the same meal, and Suraa served him as if he were a stranger. Which when she thought about it, he was. He may have been the reason for her conception, but she had never met him before. Suraa knew who he was and as a child she followed his activity closely. A part of her child's mind dreamed of the day when he would grow tired of the stars and return for her. But he never did. Instead he found a human woman and married her and together they had children – they had a family, something that Suraa could never be a part of.
Ever since Nadine had brought her new romantic interest and his friends to the café, Suraa noticed the scrutiny from the vulcan. Although she always knew about her father and his famous friends, she chose not to tell Nadine because a part of her believed what T'Pring had said. Spock had taken her mother against her will, and Suraa was the result of that rape. Throughout her childhood, he chose not to acknowledge or be a part of her life because, as T'Pring had said, Suraa was inferior even to the half-breed.
"He did not order this time," she whispered as she leaned back in her lover's embrace. "He was sitting in his vehicle again and before my bus arrived, he came to speak with me."
Joseph remained patiently silent, and then asked softly, "What did he want?'
"He asked if I knew who he was."
"And?"
"I told him that I knew, that he was my father…and…I asked him to stop following me," she sighed as she turned over onto her back and gazed up through the darkness at the human.
"Do you think maybe he wanted to get to know you?" Joseph's voice was a calming force for her turbulent thoughts. She contemplated his question, her brow creased as she held his larger hand in hers.
"No. He couldn't want that," she answered with finality.
"How do you know? Do you think he would be following you all these weeks and not want to get to know you?" He asked, but she found herself without an answer. In a gentle manner he pulled his hand from hers and cupped her chin until she looked at him through the diffused light, "I think he would like to get to know you."
"No, I…don't believe it," she turned away from him, her mind trying to block out his words of reason.
"Suraa, why can't you believe that your father wants to get to know you? Because of all the crap that your mother has told you?" he pulled her into an embrace when he noticed her sudden melancholy. "Listen to me, Suraa, your mother is not always right and there are always two sides to every story."
"M-My mother…"
"Filled you with a bunch of lies," he stated firmly before softly kissing her temple.
"How can you say that when you do not even know her?" She asked, desperately wishing that she could believe him.
"Because…" Joseph's warm slender fingers brushed her sweat drenched hair away from her forehead. "She convinced you that you were ugly, and you're not."
At his words she pulled away from him and sat up. With head lowered in shame she drew her knees to her chest. She felt him move behind her and wrap his arms around her shoulders.
"Suraa, if you could see yourself the way that I see you, you'd know that your mother was wrong. I don't know what her problem was, or why she thought no vulcan man would want you, I only know that I'm very thankful that she never had you…what do you call it? Bonded? Because if you were, then you wouldn't be here with me now," the tenderness of his voice brought weakness to her resolve. As she turned away from him, she felt slight moisture fill her eyes. Angered at her lack of control, she wiped away the evidence of her illogical human emotions.
"Honey…Suraa, I think I know you well enough by now. You've told me a lot, and what you haven't said, I've figured out," he explained. "Remember what you told me when I first met your cat? Remember how I asked how someone as beautiful as you could take in such a mangy thing? Remember what you told me?"
"That he was the mirror of my katra," she whispered softly.
"Yes, your katra, your soul. And the name you gave him?"
"Itaru," she looked away, ashamed that she had bared herself to this degree. As if ignoring her discomfort, he held her close.
"You named him ugly, and you feel that he mirrors your soul. It doesn't take a great leap to figure out that this is how you see yourself," he explained, his voice softly soothing.
"He is not really ugly," Suraa replied as she leaned into his embrace.
"Ummm, the cat is missing patches of fur, he has one ear that was chewed off in a fight, he's blind in one eye, and he's got a scary meow," Joseph added.
"Yes, this is true, but he is not really ugly. He is very soothing to me." She explained.
"So he has an inner beauty?"
"Yes."
"Just like you," she felt Joseph's smile in the darkness. His lips lightly kissed the side of her cheek as he held her close. "You have an inner beauty, and regardless of what your mother says, you are beautiful on the outside too. I should know, I've been given the pleasure of seeing all of you," he teased as his palm gently cupped her breast.
"Humans!" she shook her head in mock horror as she pushed him away before turning and laying in his arms. As she rested her head on his chest, she listened to the gentle beating of his heart. His hands softly stroked her bare back as they eased into a comfortable silence.
"Suraa?" Joseph's voice rose quietly in the darkness. "I know why you can't love me, I know that your mother did a real trip on your head," his voice was tinged with anger as he wrapped his arms protectively around her body. "It's ok, I'm willing to wait, but Suraa, don't close the door on your father. You've already lost your mother, you have no family...except me," the last words were spoken under his breath. "Suraa, if your father wants to get to know you, give him a chance," his voice grew silent as she lay partly over his body. In an absent manner she draped a leg over his as she thought over his words.
"What if he never comes back again? What if what my mother has said is true?" she whispered her darkest thoughts.
"I'd bet everything that I have that you're mother is wrong, and if he's been following you around this past month, I don't believe the lies she told you," he answered confidently.
"You think…?" but she couldn't finish her thoughts as her deepest fears crept into her psyche.
"Yes, I think he wants to get to know you. I think he must have a reason for his actions. You should at least give him a chance when he comes back into your life," the fatigue laced his words as a yawn escaped his control. "Do you believe me?" he asked.
She thought about his comments. There was a part of her that marveled at the logic of his human thought patterns. Yet despite all that he said, she felt an inner darkness threatening to consume her.
"I want to believe," she whispered softly.
He lay motionless for a moment, and then hugged her close. She felt his lips brush against her hair before he pulled the covers over their bodies. The early morning chill was abated by the warmth of the thick comforter and their mutual body heat.
"Don't worry, you'll see that I was right," he stated sleepily. "Now lets get some sleep, we're going to have to go to your place and feed that mangy fur ball before my class," he patted her shoulder lovingly. "And Suraa…?"
She looked up at him, an eyebrow cocked inquisitively, "yes?"
"I've emptied a drawer for you. If you don't want to move in with me, I think you should at least have some of your clothes here so that you don't have to go out in public wearing my clothes. My clothes are too big and baggy on you, it's a crime to hide your body like that," he smiled as sleep slowly consumed him.
Although she knew it was illogical, Suraa thought she felt her heart skip a beat. No, she would not move in with him. She could not accept his offer because she knew that at this point in time, she could not give to him what he required. Love and emotions were still too new for her so rather than move in, they would continue as they have been. But at the thought of having some space for herself, she felt the alien emotion of warmth and comfort. A part of her would like to say that this was the first time since arriving on Terra that she had felt such emotions, but when she looked into her memories she knew that it was the first time in her life that she had ever experienced these comforting feelings.
With a slight sigh she closed her eyes and smiled when she realized that her mother's predictions had not come true. She had not become a brothel whore and although he was not vulcan, this man cared deeply for her. "Perhaps he is right and the rest of my mother's words about Captain Spock will be proven wrong?" she silently hoped. With this thought she surrendered herself to sleep as she felt her lover's arms holding her close.
