(Nine and a half months ago…Sickbay on the USS Enterprise)
I sat at my desk, as I listened to Scotty talk to me, having his once a day talks with me…therapy would be the correct medical term to call it, but nothing was mentally wrong with Scotty…just sometimes needed to vent his feelings, otherwise he might as well be mentally impaired.
I sat respectfully at my desk, with a pen and clipboard, making notes with my reading glasses on, as Scotty told me what was on his mind.
"It's just so frustrating, McCoy; I mean it's been four years since the break-up, and I just can't seem to move on and find another lady to get along with." Scotty spoke, softly.
I nodded and wrote some notes down on my clipboard.
"You think there's something subconsciously holding you back from getting into another relationship like that, Scotty; a fear or something of the sort?" I questioned, trying to understand him more clearly. I wasn't a psychiatrist, nor certified to be one for a profession, but I had certainly done enough reading and studying to be considered one in Starfleet Command.
"I don't think so, McCoy…I'm just so sick of feeling so lonely." Scotty remarked, down in the dumps.
There was that six letter word that for the past few weeks had made me just wanna shudder and vomit at the hearing of it. I slightly winced then went back to work.
"You feel…lonely," I spoke, hesitantly; again, I flinched at saying the cursed word.
"Yeah, McCoy," Scotty replied.
"Have you tried being friends with the women on board, some that work in your field of work?"
"No, sir,"
"Why don't you try that for a couple days, and let me know if it's working for you or not."
"Thank you, Dr. McCoy; have a good day,"
"You too, Scotty,"
Scotty gave a friendly smile and walked off to Engineering, and I went back to work, when that word haunted my thoughts, again: lonely. Why had it been for the past few weeks I'd felt so damn lonely all the time. It felt like no matter who I was around or hanging out with, there was a part of me that just felt so damn empty, it was mere impossible to avoid its existence.
On top of that empty feeling I kept feeling, I was also beginning to lose my patience very easily and became depressed so often for no apparent reason. Heck, I even sobbed through a romance novel I read a while back, and I never had done so, before. And every time I saw children or infants on landing parties for different planets to investigate for Starfleet, it got worse; I just wanted to do nothing more but to go over and play games with them and hold them in my arms, coo at them, and smile at them, but knew very well I had a job that needed my attending to.
As I slowly drifted off onto another topic to keep my mind occupied off that certain one, Jim and Spock walked into my office.
"Hey, Bones; what you up to," Jim questioned, with his friendly smile.
I looked up and sighed, then went back to work.
"Medical work is all, Jim," I answered.
"Seem deeply focused on it," Jim replied.
"I am,"
"Why,"
"Just need to get these done before their deadlines."
"Understood,"
Spock raised an eyebrow and looked at me, oddly.
"Doctor, you seem a little distraught by something else on your mind." Spock stated.
"I think you're finally getting a little whacked off with how little sleep you get, Spock." I remarked.
"Negative, Doctor; I don't need as much rest as humans do. Vulcans can function for a well amount of time without sleep."
"It didn't need an answer, Spock," I answered, beginning to grow irritated.
"Well, Bones, you'll be over the moon, when I tell you the news I got." Jim cheered.
I looked up; it sounded fairly important.
"What is it, Jim," I questioned.
"You know that settlement we were having trouble making with the government on Tarsus VI?" Jim replied.
I nodded; Jim hadn't shut up about it in about four days straight. That was the only thing that mattered to him, at the moment being.
"Well…they accepted it; it was a major success, today with them!" Jim cheered.
I sat and nodded, then felt a burst of emotion building inside me. For no reason at all, I began sobbing uncontrollably, right there in my office.
"Bones…what's wrong; I thought you'd be happy." Jim spoke, bending down to my side.
"Uh…I think I've worked myself too hard for today…maybe I need to go lie down." I wept.
Jim nodded, friendly, and helped me to the door then I walked off to my quarters, which wasn't all that far from Sickbay, but not too close, either.
"Why on earth did I start crying back there?" I questioned myself; Jim had just told me great news, but something so overwhelming had hit me afterwards, I just couldn't help myself but cry. I walked into my quarters and plopped myself into my bed, then buried my face into my pillow and fell asleep, as I tried figuring out what on God's name was going on with me.
