Chapter two

Elena drove to the boarding house hoping to find Stefan there. She didn't want to meet Damon because she didn't know what to say to him, how to act… Everything had been so confusing since that kiss from last night. She had spent the night dreaming about it and feeling guilty. When she got out of the car she hoped that Stefan would be the one to open the door. She wasn't sure of what she was going to tell him or if she was going to tell him at all. She surely didn't want to lie to Stefan but she didn't want the two brothers to fight over her and maybe even one of them to get hurt.

She knocked at the door and Damon opened it. He opened his mouth when he saw her, and there was a moment of tense silence in which it was clear that neither of them knew what they could possibly say. Elena stared at him and Damon pressed his lips together, like he had done last night. Elena swallowed and he moved realizing why she was there.

"Is Stefan home?" She asked and his body got rigid immediately.

"No." He replied unemotionally.

"Damon we have to talk." She said and he made a noise with his tongue as he got to one side of the door so that she could get in.

"What do you want to talk about?" He asked raising an eyebrow closing the door behind them.

"Don't do as if you didn't know."

"What is it?" He sighed, she felt uncomfortable too, she didn't want the words that she had to say to get out of her mouth. But she had to.

"Damon what happened last night was wrong."

"But you liked it." He did his eye flickering and there was mockery and irony in his voice and Elena could tell that he had completely rebuilt his barriers and she felt sad because of that but maybe it was the best, she told herself.

"That's not the point. I…" she shook her head. "I couldn't like it. I'm with Stefan. And I don't want to lie to him… but if we tell him he's going to be hurt and I don't want that. So he can't know about it." Damon smirked but there was no happiness in his face.

"So that's why you came here? You could have saved time by calling." She could tell from his tone of voice that he was hurt.

"I'm serious, Damon."

"Alright. I won't tell him anything, I won't be the one having remorse." He put his hands up and turned around.

"Damon I'm sorry." She got closer to him but he moved away.

"Whatever. I'll tell Stefan you were here." Elena frowned and blinked before leaving the house. Once she was out she sighted and wondered how Damon really felt and what that kiss could have meant to him… but why should she care?

"Elena, it's good to see you." A voice said getting her out of her thoughts. She looked up to find Stefan and she smiled weakly. He kissed her briefly and she tried to find in that kiss the perfection. "You OK?" He asked frowning.

"Yes." She replied trying to get the most convincing of her smiles. "Yes."

"You want to come inside?"

"Actually, I had thought of going somewhere and just have a walk or something." She didn't want to see Damon again, to face him and act normally, she just couldn't.

"Alright, I have to get changed. You come with me?"

"I can wait for you here."

"Is everything alright, Elena?" He asked seriously and she realized that he was noticing that something was wrong. She took his arm and headed the door of his house, she didn't want him to suspect anything. They got in and found Damon with a glass of scotch on one hand. He didn't even look at them when they got in. Elena went with Stefan to his bedroom and once he got changed he kissed her and she felt uncomfortable knowing that Damon could hear them, she didn't know why she felt that way. She moved away and Stefan looked at her confused.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"It's just that I want to have some fresh air. Come on." She grabbed his arm and he followed her downstairs. Damon wasn't there anymore when they left the house.


The following days Elena tried to avoid as much as she could going to the boarding house, she dated Stefan at the grill or at her house so that she didn't have to see Damon. It was awkward being around him and she couldn't understand why. However one day she went to the boarding house to see Stefan who had not gone to school. No one answered to the door but it was open so she just walked in and heard music upstairs.

"Stefan?" She asked and got no reply. She walked silently upstairs and Damon got out of his bedroom, with an open shirt leaving his bare chest exposed. Elena found herself unable to look away. "Where's Stefan?"

"He had a problem with hunting and asked me to tell you if you came looking for him. He'll be back soon, I suppose."

Elena nodded and turned around to leave but Damon's voice stopped her.

"You've been avoiding me." It was not a question, she turned to face him, his face had an impenetrable mask. "I wonder why. Maybe you're ashamed of what happened; or guilty; or maybe you're afraid I tell Stefan." She remained silent looking at him, there was quite a distance separating them and she felt that it represented how they were really separated and knew that she was the responsible of that gap that had been created between them. "But I told you I wouldn't say anything to him."

"Why not?" Now she wanted to understand.

"Because it would make you unhappy." He replied simply. Elena felt her face tighten and tears coming to her eyes and felt terribly selfish. "You don't have to worry, Elena." He suddenly realized her wet eyes and his face dropped worried. "What's wrong?"

"Why do I do it all wrong?" She sobbed feeling terribly stupid because of that. "I know what I want but… instead…"

"So what is it that you want?" Elena sobbed again and to her surprise Damon got closer and hugged her as if he was trying to protect her or take her pain away. "It's okay."

"No, it's not okay. I don't want to hurt you and I don't want to hurt Stefan either. But I make a mess of everything I touch."

"It's not true." He took her head gently pulling it closer to his chest and she hugged him back. "Don't cry, Elena, please." He took her face in his hands and wiped her tears away.

Suddenly Damon got rigid and Elena looked up to find Stefan staring at them with a funny look in his face. Elena moved away from Damon who remained where he was, Stefan was silent.

"Stefan, where were you? I was worried." Elena managed to say trying to keep her voice steady.

"Really?" He asked and she could tell from his tone of voice that he was angry and jealous probably. "Is everything okay?"

"I have to tell you something." She said and felt Damon's rigidity and tension next to her. She needed to tell him about what had happened because she couldn't lie to him anymore. She thought that probably the best would be to tell him with Damon there, so that there were no unpleasant surprises afterwards. Stefan stared at her, silent, waiting for her to continue. "Damon and I kissed. I didn't want to tell you before because I knew it would hurt you, but it was nothing Stefan, it was just a friendly kiss, it didn't mean anything. It was only a mistake." She felt those words sharp to say and didn't feel as if they were true but they had to be. Damon stopped breathing for a moment and she could feel his hurt gaze on her.

"Yeah." Damon said making his voice sound unemotional. "It was just a mistake." He turned around and got in his room and closed the door. Elena felt the tears coming back to her eyes, she felt as if it had been a terrible mistake because now she felt even guiltier than before. She knew as if she shouldn't have said those words, but now it was too late to just take them back.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. But I love you Stefan." She started sobbing again and her knees weakened and she fell down but Stefan grabbed her before she touched the floor and hugged her.


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