A/N: I've had so many issues with the cover image for this story, it just keeps randomly disappearing; I've had to re-set it like 5 times now and I haven't the slightest clue why. Le sigh. Anywho, here's instalment two - I soon decided not to update when I do the other as I've not quite finished the new chapter for that yet but I do have this written.
Enjoy.
It was several weeks after Needles 'accident' and she was sat with her group of companions at The Hanged Man enjoying some well-deserved alcohol, after a hard time tackling the Carta scum lurking in Darktown. She had apologised to everyone for her recklessness as soon as she was able, and it hadn't taken long for everything to settle back down into the usual routine; they spent their days keeping the streets of Kirkwall safe and they spent their nights getting sloshed at the tavern.
Everything should have been as it was before, except it was not.
Needle's declaration of love was now out there in the world and although no one spoke about it she knew they all knew. Even more frustrating than this however, was the cold indifference with which her love interest was treating her. Fenris was not a warm man, she knew that, but before they had conversed often, she had never had to force the speech between them; now though she had to initiate nearly every conversation they had. The awkward atmosphere would not have been as much of an issue, except she lived with him. He didn't go out of his way to avoid her either; he just sat there broodily, seemingly quite at ease with the tense atmosphere.
"And I win again." Isabela sighed happily and raked in the winnings from the middle of the table causing Needle's mood to sour further. "Honestly sweetness your game is all over the place tonight, something on your mind?" Her tone was pointed and she shot a furtive glance in Fenris' direction; if he noticed he didn't comment on it. Needle however flushed angrily and slammed her cards down on the table, standing as she did so, causing the others to turn her way in either alarm
"Are you alright Needle?" Merrill asked her sweetly with wide eyes, Needle glanced at her sharply.
"Yes I…" She chewed her lip, thoroughly embarrassed by her overreaction. "I'm getting another drink, would you like one Merrill?" Merrill blinked at her, thrown off by her sudden question but she smiled benevolently non-the-less.
"Oh, no thank you, I'm quite alright with this one." Needle nodded, her mouth dry, and practically ran to the bar to avoid having to interact with anyone else, lest she subject them to a bout of verbal diarrhoea. Every time Fenris' was mentioned or hinted at in some romantic capacity she completely lost her cool, and 'cool' was not something she was greatly endowed with in the first place so the effect was quite disastrous. She didn't know where she stood any more, was his standoffish behaviour his way of showing that he did not, in any uncertain terms, reciprocate her feelings?
"Penny for your thoughts?" Needle jumped as Anders whispered over her shoulder, he smirked at her reaction and shifted onto the seat beside her.
"You don't want to know what I'm thinking, believe me." She shook her head but he continued gazing at her in interest, "I want to know why on earth I fell in love with an overly angsty elf, who spends his time divided between completely ignoring my existence and shoving his hand through people's chests." The look of surprise on Anders face almost made her laugh, almost. "Not the answer you were expecting?"
"I don't really know that I had any expectation." He mused, "Though I have to agree with you, I don't know why either…you could do much better." She snorted at him and ordered a drink, "I'm serious." She turned to him with a look of exasperation on her face.
"Anders, I am 20 years old; I haven't grown since I was 13, and that it both in height and…" She grasped at her near-imaginary chest and continued, "I am an elf, an ex-slave with no real skill other than shoving pointy objects in bad people." Her gaze was level but he just looked amused, "I am very ginger and I'm suffering from a rather severe case of freckles; currently I am being overlooked by all the men in this tavern, please tell me how I can do better?"
"You're selling yourself short!" She glared at his pun, "Even with all that you're still one of the best women I know…the other being currently married to the King of Ferelden." He suddenly placed his hand on her shoulder and they locked eyes. "And you're not being over-looked by all the men in here." There was suddenly a strange tension between them that had not been present before; she wasn't certain what Anders was getting at but it was nice he was trying to make her feel better.
"Oh Anders, why couldn't I have fallen for you instead?" She sighed whimsically and took a swig of her newly arrived drink. A dark look passed over the mages face as he removed his hand and settled back into his seat.
"If it's any consolation I don't think that would have worked out any better." His sudden serious declaration took her by surprise; Ander had always been brilliant at throwing her off by being charming and carefree one minute then straight-faced and morose the next, "I like you far too much to put you through that." Needle didn't know what to say, she just carried on drinking with him until there was nothing left in her tankard to drink.
Then she ordered another.
Needle was drunk, she was very, very drunk.
And Needle was angry, boy was she angry.
The audacity of the man to treat her this way. Whether or not he returned her feelings it was no excuse to treat her as though she wasn't even a person - and she was going to confront him. She was going to confront him and give him a piece of her mind; her rather scattered drunken mind. "Going somewhere Broody?" hearing Varric's voice she spun on her stool and saw Fenris was about to leave.
"Home." He replied shortly, he made his way from their table and left.
"Right." She growled and slid from her perch, stumbling a little as she did. "Right." Her steps weren't quite steady, and she almost bumped into several unsavoury looking people on her way out. "Sorry…" She mumbled, finally finding the exit. As the air hit her she shivered, "Damn it's cold…now where'd that lanky piece of shit go?" Slowly Needle made her unsteady way from Lowtown to Hightown, if she didn't catch him on the way there she'd just have to catch him at the mansion. As she was making her way up the stairs to the market she felt arms grab her from behind and drag her back down, "W-what the hell?!" She was taken down an alley and shoved up against a wall.
"'Ello there darlin'." A tall human she didn't recognise had her held by the front of her shirt; he wore a leery expression and his breath stuck of alcohol, though Needle was sure hers would be no better. "You seemed to be 'avin trouble with the stairs there." She wiggled against his grip angrily.
"I was having no trouble with the stairs you stupid shem, now let me go!" There was a sharp pain across her face and it took a few seconds for her to realise he'd hit her. "Did you just slap me you piece of shit?" She asked, shocked by his idiocy.
"You bet'cha I did ye mouthy little wench." Needle glowered at him; why had she left her daggers at the mansion? She knew it was dangerous at night. "How's about I teach ye some manners eh?" Just as he leaned in dangerously close the man stopped, a look of intense pain crossing his face as he let go of her shirt, causing her to fall to the floor in surprise.
"I don't think you will." Needle shuddered as she heard Fenris' growl from behind her assailant. "Go now, before I rip your heart from your chest." She realised he'd placed his hand through the back of the man, no wonder he'd looked so in pain. Once Fenris released him, he ran for his life back to Lowtown leaving them alone in the alley; Fenris did not offer her his hand to her so Needle scrambled up by herself, glaring at him through her messy copper hair. "Your stupidity never ceases to amaze me." He drawled, fixing his gaze on her.
"My stupidity huh?" She hiccoughed, glowering at him darkly.
"Yes your stupidity! Tell me woman do you have a death wish? Or do you get some perverse joy from wandering these crime infested streets unarmed?" Had she not been drunk Needle would have flinched at his tone and backed down; accepting that he was right and she was wrong. But alas, she was drunk, and tonight she wouldn't be backing down. Her bottled up rage exploded inside her.
"I may be stupid but at least I'm not a coward!" She prodded him in the chest and the look on his face filled her with satisfaction.
"A cowa-!"
"Yes you heard me! If someone told me they loved my I'd have the decency to at least respond! I wouldn't run away and ignore them, whether I returned their feelings or not!" She balled her fists as she looked at him.
"Love? What would you know of it?" Fenris sneered; her victorious expression suddenly took a confused turn, "One moment you're confessing to me, the next you're throwing yourself at the mage." Needle blinked at him, there was so much venom in his words but she didn't understand them. Was it because she was intoxicated, or had she missed some essential part of the conversation?
"I haven't a clue what you're ranting about." She told him, folding her arms across her chest.
"I saw you." He growled, "In the clinic, after I left…I came back to…apologise." His frown deepened, "I wish I hadn't bothered."
"I still don't have a clue what you're talking about Fenris." Her patience was wearing thin and she was still no closer to understanding him.
"I saw you, half-naked, throwing yourself at him!" Despite herself, she flushed.
"Are you sure that was me? That doesn't sound like me…" Fenris suddenly grabbed the front of her shirt and pushed her back against the wall she had previously been pinned to. "Hey!"
"Do not test me woman." His face was almost as dangerously close as her assailants had been, and while she knew she should be scared she was more excited at the contact. Perhaps he'd been right in implying she got a perverse joy from danger.
Needle narrowed her eyes and thought back; suddenly the scenario he was referring to was thrust to the forefront of her mind and she almost rolled her eyes. "I hugged him yes, I kind of forgot I wasn't wearing much since he was changing my bandages but that's all." Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest and his expression changed; for a moment she was worried he didn't believe her, but he released her. Needle was a little disappointed, it was the most contact she'd had with him in a while. "There's nothing more to it." She shrugged.
"Nonsense." He scoffed suddenly turning away, "You're always together, canoodling."
At the word 'canoodling' Needle snorted in laughter and found herself unable to stop, Fenris turned to look at her angrily, "You're crazier than I thought." She shook her head and walked towards him and he eyed her warily. "Are you…jealous of me and Anders?" He flinched away from her.
"Jealous of a mage? Of an abomination? "
"No, not of the mage, of his imagined relationship with me." Needle had never been happier to have drunk so many tankards of The Hanged Mans ale; had she been sober this conversation would have gone very differently. Fenris looked at her sternly for a second before his face relaxed.
"You're drunk." He commented.
"A little." She conceded with a nod, "The fresh air's helped…but that doesn't mean what I'm saying isn't true, does it?" She took another step towards him and this time he didn't flinch away.
"No I suppose it doesn't." A barely visible smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he looked at her, "So you 'love me' do you?"
Needle huffed and blushed a little, "Guess I do." She rested the palm of her hand on his chest and look up at him, "The question now is what're you gonna do about it?" There were a few moments of nothing, a silence passed between them and neither said nor did anything; then before she could react she was pressed back up against the wall from before, only this time there was no longer any distance between their faces. Countless times Needle had imaged being kissed by Fenris', but of course nothing quite compared to the real thing; and having never been kissed before she didn't really have anything to base her imaginary kisses on. It was rough and it was frenzied…it was very Fenris. Though she did wish there were something a little more comfortable than a stone wall behind her; while there was a certain appeal in the idea of being pushed up against a wall in an intimate setting, the reality was much less comfortable. When he finally stopped his assault on her mouth, Needle gasped for air.
"Sorry…" He mumbled, though a clear smile playing about his mouth showed the insincerity behind his words. He propped himself against the wall with one arm, and with his other hand Fenris brushed Needle's unruly hair from her face; it was an oddly tender action and her blush was evident even in the dim light of the alley.
"It's fine." She managed to squeak eventually, "There's just…more to it than I thought there'd be." At Fenris' raised brow, she elaborated, "Well, you have to move your head and…various other parts as well as remembering to breathe…and control said breathing through your nose…I've never done it before!" She rambled, blurting out the last part; his gaze turned from surprised to surprisingly soft and he ran his thumb across her bottom lip, causing her to gulp involuntarily. Needle glanced up and saw he was looking down at her intently and she couldn't look away.
"That is a surprise…" She almost snorted, but that would certainly have ruined the atmosphere between them.
"You know Anders said something similar earlier, I'm not exactly a catch…" She trailed off upon seeing the darkness that crossed his face at the mention of Anders name; so much for not ruining the atmosphere.
"What did the mage say exactly? Please tell me more." His growl was particularly vicious and Needle chewed her lips nervously; why did she always end up saying the wrong thing?
"N-nothing…" Needle found her Dutch-courage rapidly disappearing as she stared into the angry face of the homicidal elf, she wanted to kick herself - obviously bringing up Anders was a mistake! Fenris looked away and she shuffled nervously; not worried he'd hurt her, she knew he'd never do that, but worried she'd put their relationship back where it was before. "Fenris?" She spoke his name quietly and he looked back at her.
A tense few seconds passed before his posture relaxed and he stood up straight, putting space between them once again. "Let's go." He turned around and headed back up the alley, Needle fretted for a few seconds before hurrying after him. The remainder of the journey was carried out in silence, she wanted to speak but she couldn't think; what could she possibly say to him to set things back to how they were before she mentioned that accursed mage. Upon reaching the mansion they both entered and Fenris locked the door behind them, to ensure no thugs broke in while they slept; though if they did it'd probably end badly for them rather than the inhabitants. They ascended the stairs in silence and headed for their separate rooms, before she entered however Needle spun on her heel to face him, "Fenris…" He glanced at her, face unreadable. "I'm…sorry?" It definitely came out more like a question than she intended.
"Are you asking me or telling me?"
"Telling you?" He looked at her flatly, "Telling you." She nodded to affirm her statement.
"What for?" At that Needle tilted her head; what was she sorry for exactly? She hadn't even done anything wrong, he was just so touchy.
"I don't know." She admitted with a frown, "It just seemed like the right thing to say…and you spoke to me at last so it must have been." At that, he frowned.
"I had nothing to say." She blinked at him.
"You're…kidding right? We just got all cosy up against a stone wall, then you storm off like some hormonal, pubescent boy and I'm supposed to believe you just had nothing to say?" He had the decency to look uncomfortable at her words; she ran a hand through her hair and looked away, tiredly. "Whatever, I'm going to sleep, night." She turned away and opened her door, as she walked in and gently closed it behind her she could have sworn she heard a very soft 'Goodnight Needle'.
